[Natsume] When the sun shines

I blinked, and then pretended to be indifferent and turned my head away, "If you don't go, then don't go, we will talk about it later, anyway, it will come tomorrow."

"...Okay." Natsume looked at me, her thin eyelashes trembling slightly, like a delicate butterfly, glowing faintly against the sunlight, "Xiao Mu is a gentle person."

Xiao Mu is a gentle person.

"Tch, Natsume, you are so stupid." Fat Cat yelled, "Where is this kind of woman gentle?!"

I glanced at it and snorted.

........................................................................

In fact, sometimes I wonder if all people are hypocritical.

I hooked my backpack and stood in front of the shrine, watching the sun pass through the branches of the trees casually, and the twilight merged. Although there were few people, there were still people coming to worship at the shrine in front of me.I heard from Duoguitou that the red rope sold here can ward off evil spirits and is very effective.

I don't know what kind of thoughts I have, I bought a red rope.

Stepping through the fragmented time, I passed by the people around me one by one. Some of them smiled, some were sad, but there was more emotion in their eyes, which was a kind of hesitation.

... In this era, people who still come to worship the gods must have feelings of helplessness in their hearts.Otherwise, they would not put their minds on these gods who are nothingness in their eyes.

It was late when I got home.

From a distance, I saw the woman standing at the door, looking around anxiously.My footsteps paused slightly, and an inexplicable feeling emerged in my heart.

The red rope in my hand gradually warmed up, I lowered my eyelids, and walked slowly with the last afterglow of the setting sun.

"Mu Mu!"

Seeing me, she seemed relieved, but then she widened her eyes, "Why did you come back so late?"

I have always been a very punctual person.

Even if she hates her, she is generally punctual when it's time to go home.It's getting dark now, but then again... I rarely come back so late.

I raised my eyes and wanted to say something, but the words stuck in my throat when I saw her arm, and I couldn't say a word.

"Why don't you talk?" She seemed a little annoyed, "Mumu..."

"It's nothing." I lowered my eyes again, and passed her with the schoolbag on my shoulder. The bandage on her arm was white under the dark sky, "I'm hungry."

"..."

The orange light in the room was warm like a dream, I put the red string on the table, the table was cleaned up, only a jar full of stars and a plate with sweet bread , under the warm yellow light, the lines and colors of the bread are particularly attractive.

"Mu Mu..."

The voice downstairs is still so soft, even if you are angry, you won't say too harsh words to me, just like this warm yellow light, it just quietly brings you a warm feeling, it won't be too dazzling, and it won't be too harsh. It feels untouchable, just right, as if... from the very beginning, it was by my side.

I went downstairs.

"...Arm, what's wrong?"

Sure enough, I still asked.

"Did you mean this?"

Hearing what I said, the woman was stunned for a moment, and then she became excited, her face flushed a little, as if it was a happy thing for me to care about her, her eyes rolled up, "This is to buy I accidentally got scratched while doing things, so I'm a little unlucky today. But it's okay, I'm a lucky Hayakawa. Um, compared to such insignificant things, have you eaten the bread in the house? ? Definitely didn’t eat it, there’s no bread crumbs on your mouth…”

She talked a lot, and I was just a little dazed.

Early stream.

Hayakawa seems to be a very common surname.

But... if it was the name Hayakawa Mu, it would be...inexplicably, it would sound nice.

"Do you have the amulet?"

I ask her.

"...I forgot it at home." She was a little distressed, "I'm afraid I lost it, after all, Mumu borrowed it from others..."

No wonder.

But I was still a little annoyed in my heart, fortunately it was just a scratch, this house is so evil, if when I go out...

"Hand out."

"……Um?"

She was a little taken aback, but subconsciously stretched out her hand towards me.I lowered my eyebrows, tied the red string around her wrist, and said lightly, "...I bought it just now, I heard it's very good at warding off evil spirits."

This is not an explanation.

I hide it in my heart.

She seemed to be relieved all of a sudden, "Then I'll go and bring over the dishes... It's already warmed up, who knows you won't come back all the time."

Looking at her slender back under the light, in my heart, for the first time towards a human being, I felt an inexplicable feeling, like, caring.

Yes, caring.

I heard that only home can make people feel cared for.

It's just... Really, can I believe it again?

The food was still not very good. I took a bite of the bread and ate a little bit. If it is as a family... is it really okay?

After dinner, I went upstairs.

"Caring about... ah."

The window is opened, and the moonlight outside the window spreads out the gentleness of the ground, quietly giving this town peace of mind.

There are no flowers everywhere, but there are vast wheat fields and forests that have stood for an unknown amount of time. There is no busy traffic here, but there are simple people and gentle hearts.

Maybe, you can really believe it again.

family.

It's just that what I once believed in was exchanged for an indifferent smile, and the feeling of being betrayed coldly pointed at my neck. In this life, I don't want to taste it a second time.

Can you believe it?Is it really possible?

Once, I felt that I was at a loss.

I vaguely remember a sentence, "People who are wandering can find comfort under the light of the gods."

Maybe the gods will give me the answer.

A deity with faith may be able to tell me what to do so as not to make people hesitate.

I, who can see monsters, can naturally see gods too.

It's just rarely seen.

The moonlight shone on the cobbled road, glowing with gentle colors. I lowered my eyes and kicked away a small stone under my feet. This was the first time I ran out in the middle of the night.

Qi Ming didn't come tonight.Maybe it's the true love of the soul.

I thought of the kind butterfly girl.

I sneaked out in the middle of the night, so naturally I couldn't go through the main entrance openly. I first climbed to the roof through the window, and then threatened a little monster to take me out.

In this small town, the little monsters are pure and cute.

Autumn is here, I pulled the neckline, and when passing by Natsume’s house, I inadvertently saw a few yellowed leaves falling from the unknown tree in his house under the moonlight.

A piece of light fluttered down at my feet.

Is the departure of the leaves the pursuit of the wind, or the refusal of the trees?

Such a sentence inexplicably floated up in my heart, and I sneered in my heart. It is rare that I, a guy who became a monk halfway through his studies, can come up with such literary words.

I wanted to walk over like this, but I still couldn't help it. I reached out and picked up the leaf. The veins of the withered yellow leaf were clear, and the moonlight was shining on it. Although it was very bright, I still couldn't tell what tree it was. leaf.

It's not how rare the tree is, but I think people who haven't carefully studied gardening can't tell the leaves of apricot trees and persimmon trees, just like me now.

I really have too much free time to spend most of the night wrestling with such boring questions.

Anyway, it will not be the leaves on the ginkgo tree.

I don't know what stupidity I did, I put the leaf gently in my pocket, I wanted to leave, but the light on the second floor of the house suddenly turned on, so I stopped in my tracks, looking at the boy and the cat. The shadow of the ghost was reflected on the window, and a particularly abstract monster came and went, and then the lights went out again. In this quiet midnight, it was natural and unobtrusive.

It doesn't seem very cold anymore.

I lowered my head and walked away.

There were signs of a bumper harvest in the field under the night, and there was a faint smell of wheat floating in the air. I took a deep breath, the air here is not as dirty as the big cities, there are no strange eyes from those people, no...

I rubbed the corners of my brows, feeling tired when I thought about it.

It seems that nothing can save the soul.

His fingers touched the unknown leaf in his pocket again, the cool touch, soft and gentle, like the smile of a boy under the shadow of a mottled tree, made people calm down involuntarily, and then, like him, on his lips There was a warm smile on the corner of his mouth, and a kind of gratitude even appeared in his heart.

Gratitude for life, gratitude for life.

It's good to be alive.

It's nice to be able to smile beside the stars and the vast wheat fields like this.

It's great to be like Natsume...

The night wind was blowing, and the bangs in front of my forehead were softly brushing against my forehead, itching, I closed my eyes, but the blockage in my heart seemed to be pushed away by something, and I suddenly became enlightened.

There is no need for any gods, no prayers, no redemption, some things, as long as you think about it, it will be fine.

Why don't you laugh?Why are you always sad?Why is there always hatred towards humans?

Because I was too obsessed with the past, I always clung to those stories that I couldn’t go back, hurting winter and autumn, complaining about myself, closing my heart with thorns all over my body, and the result... hurt others and myself.

I took out the leaf in my pocket. Autumn is here. The yellow color on its body is like a kind of silent sorrow, but also like the peace of returning to the homeland. After searching, it will finally get its due rest.

I turned around, walked slowly to the place where Natsume called "home" with unknown trees, and gently placed the leaves in front of the door.

Use a gentle heart to appreciate the unspeakable feelings in life.

Be it joy or sorrow, loyalty or betrayal.

This is a promise that does not require God's salvation. Being too grateful for the past betrayal is paranoia. It will only go deeper and deeper in the dark vortex, and finally become a demon that even God can't save, and it will never be restored.

The night wind was blowing again, with strands of gentleness mixed with a touch of coldness, I took one last look at the window that had already been turned off, and turned to leave.

At this moment, I suddenly began to believe that people who can see the sun must also be covered with sunshine.

The author has something to say: the redeemed little muzi~

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