Free

Si Ji was stunned, his eyes were red.It was with great difficulty that he looked directly into Shen Luoshen's eyes, and uttered the words of the questioning: "Why do you force me not to believe it yourself? Why do you think it's impossible for me to be with him?"

That day Shen Luoshen was carried to the street by Lao An and Zuo Yan.Si Ji and Qin Qiaosong did not dare to touch each other.Pushed by people in twos and threes, listening to the fragmented discussions around him, Si Ji grabbed the clothes on his chest and desperately reached for his head, trying to see clearly his face hanging to one side.Shen Luo cried deeply, his face was covered with water, wondering if it was because he could still feel the pain from the wound after fainting.

Now Shen Luoshen can't move his arms, and can't make exaggerated movements, but his whole body is covered with thorns.Si Ji poked his neck and continued to ask: "You speak clearly today...what the hell do you mean?!"

At this time, the door of the box was pushed open, Zuo Yan was wearing a sports coat and jeans, staring in astonishment at Si Ji, who was full of tears, and Shen Luoshen, who bowed his hair and laughed.But the astonishment was quickly taken back.Si Ji wiped his face, and suddenly remembered that he and Qin Qiaosong were sitting outside the clinic chatting that day, when Zuo Yan saw them, he had the same expression.Numb, compassionate, and without warmth.

It seemed that he had seen through the future of these people, but he kept silent, waiting for the day when it would be confirmed.

Shen Luoshen put down the wine bottle slowly, waved to Zuo Yan, saying that you are coming, my baby seems to have something to tell you.Si Ji chuckled and said no, Shen Luoshen was lying.Shen Luoshen leaned against him again, put his arms around his shoulders, and said, look, now you don't even smile so happily.To tell you the truth, when I first met you, I thought you were an idiot, I didn't know what I was happy about every day, and I could find a few things for myself to make everyone happy when I had nothing to do.Later, I thought, this idiot is really interesting, with such good parents, he still messes around every day.I'm jealous of you, how can I describe that feeling... It's as if I was born in Qiucheng like you, grew up eating food from Qiucheng, walked the way of Qiucheng and blown the wind of Qiucheng, but what you have is me I can't get it in my life, I can't figure it out, how can I be worse than you?When I was in high school, I showed you GV, let you know that you were gay, and let you fall in love with Fang Xurui.I have known for a long time that you two will break up, and I often see him kissing and having sex with female classmates, do you believe it?I don't tell you, I just want to see what will happen to you after knowing the truth.But you beat him up, cried for a few days, and then his mother was fine... How can you be so stupid?Sometimes I really want you to be as miserable as I am, I must be so happy.

But you don't.Si Ji leaned forward, shaking his hands to hug Shen Luoshen, but he dodged clumsily.

Talking too much, Shen Luoshen's lips were bright red, and his face was full of sick grays: "Later, I thought, maybe after being with you for a long time, I can also be happy. I will honestly go to your house for dinner and treat you My parents pretended to be my own parents, pretending to be that. But no, the time is too short, not enough.

"Later, when I went to university, I met Qin Qiaosong."

The conversation stopped here.Si Ji waited for him to continue, but he shook his head: "Forget it, why tell you these things, anyway, you treat me as a fart."

Si Ji's mind was in a mess.

"Do you want to go?"

Zuo Yan interjected at the right time, indifferent and stiff.Si Ji felt his face was cold, and when he touched it, it was full of water.Zuo Yan came over, knelt down, took out a tissue and handed it to him.Looking at the familiar joints and veins on the back of his hand, Si Ji's tears flowed even more violently.Don't cry, Zuo Yan said.Si Ji pulled the corner of his mouth to defend: "It's not that I want to cry, I told you that once I drink too much, I can't control my expression."

Zuo Yan was startled and lowered his head, as if he didn't want to face him like this.Stuffing another handful of tissues into Si Ji's hand, Zuo Yan grabbed his arm and tried to pull him up from the sofa.Si Ji withdrew his hand abruptly, and said in a hoarse voice, "I want to stay with Old Shen again."

"You don't need to accompany me, you can do whatever you like, I don't care."

Shen Luoshen picked up the microphone, stared at the still flickering screen, and sang a Cantonese song that was playing.But he doesn't know this song at all, he can't keep up with the rhythm, and he can't sing a word in tune.Zuo Yan sat next to Si Ji, with a fist's distance between them.A few seconds later, Si Ji jumped up, saying that I was going to the bathroom, and threw the two of them in the box reeking of alcohol.

Fuqiang spat a few mouthfuls, but didn't want to go out.During Shen Luoshen's hospitalization for more than half a month, he and Zuo Yan met in the ward. He cared about Shen Luoshen, and Zuo Yan probably wanted to persuade Qin Qiao to send him off.The two had already tacitly agreed at some point, and they were relieved when they found that the other was still well through the door of the ward.In fact, life rarely has such a tempest-like rhythm, but when it really comes, everything that should happen is indispensable.

Shen Luo sang deeply and fell asleep, Si Ji helped him into the car, and sat on the back seat with him.In the past half month, he seldom took care of himself. Just now when he was in the bathroom, he found that his hair had grown, he forgot to shave his beard, his eye circles were black and red, and he felt horrible.Only then did he suddenly realize that the fights with Xie Rong in the past were nothing.Maybe I had some reservations from the beginning, so it doesn't feel ridiculous to waste four years.He wanted to be with Xie Rong for a long time, but after all, he didn't change much for him, and he wasn't completely dragged into his life.

He timidly placed Shen Luoshen in the room, Si Ji turned on the air conditioner and adjusted the temperature.On Shen Luoshen's bedside was a photo taken with Si Ji by the river when he graduated from high school.There was no one on the beach at the time, and it took a long time for an old lady to successfully take a picture of them.The camera was off and his face was blurred, but he smiled happily.Si Ji was reeking of alcohol, grabbed the photo and stuffed it under Shen Luoshen's pillow, only to remember that there was Zuo Yan who had been waiting outside the house for a long time.

"Is it settled?"

Zuo Yan was waiting by the door without taking off his shoes.Si Ji nodded: "Sleeping like a pig, I probably won't be able to wake up in a short time."

"Then I'll go first."

Saying Zuo Yan, he pushed open the unclosed door and walked out. Si Ji staggered towards him: "Wait, I'll see you off."

With the key ringing in his hand, Si Ji pushed Zuo Yan all the way to the elevator.In fact, Zuo Yan has also lost weight, his cheeks are sunken, and his eyes are not bright at all. "I know you kissed me." Staring at the red number on the elevator, Si Ji said, "That night, in the car."

He didn't have the courage to look at Zuo Yan's face: "What is this... Shen Luoshen is like a lunatic, but you restrain yourself like a saint."

"I don't dare to fall in love, I'm afraid I won't lose anything. But you haven't talked about it, you know nothing."

There was silence all the way until the elevator doors opened.Zuo Yan was not as timid as he was.Facing the dizziness and nausea and pushing him against the wall, Si Ji grabbed Zuo Yan's collar: "Why, do you feel that what I said is too reasonable, so you are speechless?"

"It's so dirty. Let go." Zuo Yan coughed lightly, trying to hide.Next to him lay a bicycle that seemed to have not been ridden in a few years, and was covered with rust.

"Don't let it go. Take it off if it's dirty, and I'll wash it for you."

He picked up the hem of Zuo Yan's sportswear, which was dark blue checked; his cold hands touched his chest: "Take it off. It's all dirty. Why do I feel like your chest muscles have shrunk?"

Zuo Yan grabbed his arm and turned his head to look at the sky: "It's windy, do you smell the steam? It's going to rain."

"Don't tell me you're going back to collect your clothes." Zuo Yan was five or six centimeters taller than him, and Si Ji tiptoed slightly, leaning against his cheek, "No, let's go to the room, I haven't done it for a long time... I want you Fuck me."

Zuo Yan didn't speak.The smell of alcohol from Si Ji's mouth sprayed onto his face: "Why don't you talk again?"

"It's nothing, I'm a little dizzy from what you said." His voice was nasal, and he still hasn't recovered from his cold for so long.Si Ji finally let him go, tilted his head, and cupped his hands into the shape of a flower: "Then if you faint, I will catch you."

Zuo Yan laughed, "Si Ji, I still have an appointment."

"What date? A date for sex?"

Zuo Yan didn't speak.

"Acquiesced? I don't believe it. If you have the guts, ask me out and show me."

"Si Ji."

Si Ji put down his hands, very sour; his eyes were full of sarcasm: "I'm serious. If you have the ability, you can make an appointment."