Free

Pushing him to sit down, Zuo Yan returned the phone to him: "Si Ji, you have been with him for four years, and finally broke up."

...Okay, high energy ahead.Si Ji took a deep breath, cupped his face and looked at Zuo Yan: "Yes, otherwise I wouldn't have met you."

Zuo Yan lowered his eyes, and it took him a long time to raise his eyes: "You should have realized that we are two completely different people."

"……Then?"

"You can think of the good in everything. No matter how bad the situation is, it will quickly become good with you. I like your character very much, and I envy you."

It would be fine if there were no last seven characters.Si Ji rubbed his face and continued to listen carefully.

"But I'm the complete opposite of you. I'm only happy with a good thing for a few seconds." Zuo spoke slowly, with a gloomy expression, "This is due to experience and personality. I know it's not good, but I can't change it." .”

People spend their whole lives fighting against their original character.Few people can win, and most of them can only admit defeat after countless painful struggles.

"My father committed suicide." Zuo Yan lowered his head again, took out an unlit cigarette, and twirled it between his fingertips. "Before he died, he called my mother. My mother was busy taking care of the children and didn't hear me. He also I made a landline call with my family, and I happened to be at home because of a leave of absence, so I received it.

"He told me that Dad will no longer be able to take care of you and Mom. I didn't understand what he meant at all, and laughed at him and said: I have grown up so much, I have never been taken care of by you, and I will not need it in the future.

"He cried. He said sorry to me, sorry to me and my mother, and sorry to the grandparents who passed away early. He confessed inexplicably for several minutes, and I didn't comfort him at all.

"After that he hung up the phone. When everyone in Qiucheng knew that he was dead, I was still sulking at him at home. He was too busy with work and kept entertaining every day. I was used to him not existing since I was a child. When he talked to me I will be embarrassed, and I will use the most vicious words to stimulate him when he comes home to eat. My mother is not in good health, so he will just buy a bunch of nutritional supplements and leave them at home. He always said that he will be with us when he retires, But it’s just talking.”

But when he died and his mother took Zuo Yan away unexpectedly, Zuo Yan really panicked.The city he had lived in for more than ten years was about to say goodbye to him suddenly, and the world was turned upside down overnight.

"It's too easy to lose one thing." Zuo Yan said to Si Ji with a wry smile, "My father, my mother, and—a lot. It's fine if the things you hate are gone, but what if it's something you cherish?"

"It will be very painful." Si Ji murmured.

"The more beautiful something is, the less you can touch it." Zuo Yan carefully held Si Ji's hand, and then let go, "It doesn't matter if I destroy myself, but I must never destroy it. I don't have the confidence to protect it, nor Confidence that it will always be mine, so, you understand?"

Si Ji shook his head: "Why should you be afraid of things that didn't happen? Every thing is different, maybe it will be very happy and will stay with you for the rest of your life."

"This is the difference between me and you." Zuo Yu's tone was gentle, but Si Ji could capture a trace of despair, "I don't believe it, but you do."

I really want to believe it myself, but I can't.

"I don't understand, and I don't want to hear it anymore." Si Ji sniffled, not hiding the love in his eyes, "Since you think I can think of the best in everything, I want to show you."

Zuo Yan forced a smile: "Hello——"

Si Ji propped his face and tapped his temple lightly: "Well, you refused to see Lao Si with me in the morning because you would be shy when you saw your father-in-law. You refused to see Xie Rong because you were jealous. Later, I only said one sentence and you agreed because you were afraid of me.吃亏更害怕我跟他旧情复燃所以一定要跟着来。秀恩爱也不是演戏是因为你真的喜欢我。揍谢荣那么狠也是想帮我出气顺便发泄你的妒意。哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。 "

too slippery.Zuo Yan was really taken aback by what he said.

Si Ji was just smirking.He couldn't laugh at all.After listening to Zuo Yan's words, the powerlessness from the heart almost defeated him.He understood Zuo Yan's meaning so well, Zuo Yan and Shen Luoshen were essentially the same person.He was distressed, the pain was unbearable, and he wished he could turn back time and embrace Zuo Yan when he was a teenager with the gentlest, purest and most beautiful self.But he missed it, and those regrets will always lie in the past years.

But he suddenly saw Zuo Yan blushing.

Although fleeting.

He slapped the table and stood up, crossing the narrow tabletop and Zuo Yan's nose to nose: "You were just being shy when I told you that?"

Zuo Yan let out a burst of laughter from his nasal cavity: "Me? Shy?"

Si Ji rubbed the cartilage of his nose against his eyelashes, eye sockets, and cheekbones, and finally slid over his thin and soft lips: "Old Zuo, give me a chance, I'm willing to wait."

He just realized that he loves Zuo Yan so much.Every night when he fell asleep, he would recall those wall paintings in the kindergarten in the small bedroom surrounded by the smoke and dust noise of tall buildings.A little ladybug perches peacefully on a dewy green leaf, a lost fox is patiently guided by a little bear, or a lonely fish encounters a majestic tower in the sea.Zuo Yan never lied to him from the beginning to the end, and if he wanted to push him away, he would use a way that was so gentle that he couldn't hide it.

"You're really nice, really." Thinking of Zuo Yan, it was as if there was another heart in his heart.Only when you feel the inner one beating, can the outer one have the strength to continue jumping.

"Are you stupid?" Zuo Yan still didn't look at him.

"I've always believed that stupid people have stupid blessings." Si Ji said.

People know almost everything, but they are still lost in the distance from eyes to heart.With such feelings, Si Ji can also cite one sentence: most people live in peaceful despair.The so-called resignation to fate is nothing but the usual despair.

He no longer wanted to ask how Xie Rong's words would make Zuo Yan feel.