Hotaru [The Tale of Genji]

The moon is in the middle of the sky, and the feast is over.

At the banquet, the warm aroma of wine was so strong that even people wearing thin shirts were not cold, but the air outside the hall was quite cold, so they must not be willful.Then he asked someone to take the sable cloak, and Donggong and the Fourth Highness put it on before leaving hand in hand.After a long day of merriment, the two Highnesses continued to walk back to the palace with undiminished interest.The palace attendants followed from a distance, chatting and admiring the bright moon in the night sky.

"Yingying, you have grown a lot taller in the past two years." Speaking of interesting events from previous years, Dong Gong compared the forehead of His Royal Highness and said with emotion: "In a few years, you will be taller than Brother Huang."

His Highness the Fourth Highness heard the words and said firmly: "In this way, Suzaku can be protected."

"You," Suzaku laughed twice, "In the past two years, you have become more and more reluctant to call me Brother Huang."

"...It sounds better to be called Suzaku."

His Royal Highness Ying lowered his voice, recalling Suzaku's slightly drunk appearance at the banquet just now.The wonderful throbbing in the bottom of my heart slowly spiraled up because of the intoxicating scene, and flooded in His Highness Ying's sea of ​​consciousness.It tasted so good, yet so soft—on and off, as if there was no support.This made the prince's heart tremble, but he didn't have time to taste it, it appeared suddenly like a drunken dream, and then disappeared quickly.

Prince Ying blushed as he recollected the wonderful feeling of touching his internal organs.

Seeing his appearance, Suzaku put his hand against the prince's hot cheek, and teased, "Why is your face so red, could it be that you drank too much at the table?"

When the soft touch covered it, the prince could hardly suppress the voice in his throat.She quickly shook her head to avoid it, and said with a tight voice: "No, my mother doesn't allow me to drink at the banquet, maybe it's...it's a bit hot."

Dong Gong only thought that he was shy, and took his hand away kindly.

His Royal Highness Ying was a little nostalgic for the touch just now, and didn't want to lose his composure, so he hurriedly took a few deep breaths.The feeling came and went quickly, and he quickly calmed down.

The two strolled under the long moonlight, as if the immortals in the moon palace were walking in the clear light.How can there be such beautiful people in the world? It is not surprising that one day messengers will come down from the sky to take them back to the Heavenly Palace.

"Yingying, it won't be long before Gongqing's daughter will enter the palace."

"what!"

Prince Ying suddenly raised his head, his eyes burning with passion.He himself didn't know why he was so stupefied and angry, he walked up to the East Palace in a few steps and blocked his way.

"Why! Why all of a sudden..."

"……firefly?"

Seeing the panicked and hesitant expression on Suzaku's face, His Royal Highness knew that he had lost his composure.But the inexplicable anger and disappointment welling up in his heart made him unable to move away no matter what.Standing in front of Suzaku, the prince involuntarily clenched his fists.He lowered his long hair to cover his obscure expression, suppressed his trembling voice, and asked, "Why, obviously before... Suzaku..."

Perhaps even the prince himself didn't know why he was so angry and confused, and that surging emotion was about to swallow him up.

This child will soon be an adult, and his handsome and delicate eyebrows have taken shape, and he even has the most unique and graceful posture in the world.The temperament is high and luxurious, and there is no right in the world.However, the prince is still very attached to his elder brother like he was a child, as if it was an emotion carved in his flesh and blood.

Donggong looked down at his younger brother, seeing his still young shoulders trembling with anger and confusion.Just now when his emotions erupted, his eyes, which were burnt with incomparably hot anger, pierced into Suzaku's heart like a knife.Sighing, he touched the shoulder of His Royal Highness, and obviously felt a slight tremor.

"Oh...you, why are you still the same as when you were a child?"

"..."

That year, the affectionate son-in-law also confessed to His Royal Highness Suzaku the thoughts of the only girl under the beautiful moonlight like this night.The young prince can say disgusting things willfully.But now, he can no longer throw unreasonable tempers at his beloved brother like a child.

However, he understands.

His Royal Highness Ying has always understood that this desire not to let Suzaku be taken away has not changed since a long time ago.It's just that with the changes of the four seasons, it becomes more and more profound and indescribable.

"Yingying, I've always been worried that you would show such emotions, but..." His Royal Highness Suzaku smiled wryly at this point, "Father, his intention to abdicate over the years has become more and more obvious. And as the crown prince, if I remain like this This is absolutely impossible to convince the public.”

"Suzaku..."

"Yingying, Brother Huang has never left you. Whether in the past or in the future, Brother Huang will never leave you alone. But, Yingying, you must grow up. This kind of attachment..."

We must learn to restrain and give up.

but,

Why, tell me now?

Even though I have tried so hard to catch up with you, can I still not be able to do anything?Is the vision of walking side by side with Suzaku really my unfulfilled wish?

I thought, at least until I was an adult, that warm and nostalgic temperature would never leave.But why?How can this unpredictable world fail to catch up...

Ying stared blankly at her hands—the hands that still belonged to children, not even qualified to hold the person in front of her.The feeling of not wanting to let Suzaku belong to other people is hard to hold.

"why……"

Prince Ying asked the question over and over again with a trembling voice.In the darkness covered by the night, the scalding sadness flooded from the heart to the eye sockets, and smashed hard at the prince's feet.His mind was buzzing, and countless angry questions echoed.

"Why, Suzaku clearly promised me that he would not leave Yingying."

Suzaku sighed, he knew that Prince Ying must be extremely uncomfortable at this time.Dong Gong took a step forward and hugged the sad child in his arms.The prince tightly hugged the waist under the East Palace, this fear of loneliness made His Royal Highness Suzaku feel extremely pity and helplessness.

"There is no reason, Hotaru. If I really want to answer, I can only say that it is because we have no chance to choose."

"...an opportunity to choose"

"yes……"

I've known it since a long time ago.

The deed of choice in this world was taken away the moment I was born into the Eastern Palace.The Buddha said cause and effect: The karma of this world is pitiful, maybe in the next life, I can taste the cool and soft touch of the wings when they slide over the light clouds, maybe.

Just like the painting you painted for the emperor, you left this palace with such a peaceful and quiet mood.

The corners of Suzaku's eyes showed intense sadness.He is like a bird that can no longer fly.The wings were locked, and the beautiful and gorgeous tail feathers lost their original luster because they were deprived of the right to fly.

For this beautiful bird yearning for brilliance, the cold dampened his eyes, and the cold mist poured into his throat.Locked in the cold palace.Every day is bleak.The dark clouds are like chains that lock the sun in the sky, so that no morning light can flow out.

As for Suzaku, he was about to lose sight of the light that he had longed for so much.

In this embracing posture, the one being comforted may be Xia Donggong, maybe it is.

Hotaru let go of her arm, and the anger had faded.At that moment, he seemed to understand a lot of things, and something quickly sprouted in the moment of sadness just now.Prince Ying held Suzaku's hand and pressed it to his face, rubbing it lightly.

"It's okay, I'm still with Suzaku."

"What's the matter?" Donggong was a little surprised that Prince Ying could adjust his emotions so quickly, and said softly, "Are you not angry anymore?"

"I won't be angry with Suzaku, I just figured out something."

As I said a long time ago, established facts cannot be changed, so hold everything in the future in your own hands.Those changes can only be controlled by me, and it will never be the two of us who cannot choose.

****

His Royal Highness Prince Ying returned to Chengxiang Hall very late.The surrounding area was already very quiet, and even the breath of the wind was never heard.The palace servants were exhausted all day, and they all fell asleep exhaustedly.His Royal Highness the Fourth Prince went to the main hall alone to visit his mother.

Strangely, it was so late that Her Royal Highness hadn't gone to rest yet.She was still wearing the luxurious red plum twelve singles at the banquet.The delicate embroidered patterns reflect layers of cold light due to the moonlight, like the aroma of red plums, like the coldness and arrogance of Her Royal Highness at this time.

His Royal Highness is sitting in front of his mother.The mother and son have very similar eyes, and they can pick up the streamer when looking forward to flying.Two pairs of identical eyes stared at each other calmly.It's just that one person's eyes are suppressing the burning flame, while the other's eyes are indifference that analyzes the world.

"Mother mother..."

His voice was calm, but just like that, the female imperial court also knew His Highness's rock-like determination.Prince Ying looked at his mother, and saluted solemnly and slowly, "Please teach me how to control this palace..."

"You know that, don't you..."

The author has something to say: I don’t want to say anything today, good night everyone.