Become a cat [Zhan Zhao]

Although Alan keeps silent about her past, it doesn't mean she doesn't have a past.Even for A Lan, the short childhood has always had a strong sense of existence, which cannot be erased at all.

Her father had left at an early age—perhaps dead, perhaps gone.Alan's mother never mentioned anything about her father to her, and was irritable and irritable in front of everything that could trigger relevant memories.In the vague memory at the beginning of A Lan's life, there seems to be a faint image of his father, but it is too weak to form a complete individual.

And the only man who can replace her father and play an important role in Ah Lan's life is her uncle.

Of course, to Alan at that time, an uncle was just an uncle.Neither the name of Ouyang Chun nor the title of Bei Xia can compare to what uncle represents.When she was young, she looked forward to her uncle's visit to their house. At that time, her mother would tidy up the humble home and even use some lard when cooking.

And my uncle never came empty-handed every time.Sometimes it was snacks that were properly hidden in the package, and sometimes it was toys bought from nowhere, all for Alan.At that time, my mother would first be polite to my uncle, and then ask Ah Lan to thank my uncle.

My uncle was extremely tall, and every time he opened the curtain and walked into the house, he would make the roof low and low.He would often carry Alan on his shoulders, and his strong and broad back was once Alan's favorite place to rely on.In the eyes of the young Alan, her uncle and mother constituted the whole of her life.Although the mother often beats and scolds her, she will feed her porridge when she is hungry. If A Lan accidentally cuts her clothes, the mother will beat her first, and then sit on the threshold babbling Mend her clothes.

As for uncle, he would take Ah Lan to a place other than the house where he lived, and then have a good time.The fields, mountains, and rivers are full of childhood memories. Alan can still recall the excitement and excitement of going out with his uncle on adventures.

If this kind of life continues, Ah Lan believes that she will become a completely different person.It's just that there is no objection to this assumption, because when she grew up a little bit, things began to change.

The first clue was that her mother began to ask her to please her uncle.Of course, things like "please" are too difficult for children to understand.What her mother told her at the time was to listen to her uncle, not to make him angry, and to make him happy as much as possible.

So A Lan tried her best to follow her mother's request, trying her best to please her uncle.If it was done well—although Alan never knew what the criteria were—the mother seemed to be very happy, but if it was not done well, she would be beaten and starved, and the mother would have a fit of rage for days on end. All sullen.

After this situation lasted for a period of time, Ah Lan's attitude towards her uncle became more and more cautious. She was like a cautious kitten, wishing to stick her belly to the ground in front of her mother and uncle.She found that she no longer looked forward to her uncle's arrival as much as she used to, but if her uncle did not come for a while, her mother would still become irritable and easily lose her temper over trivial things.

Alan lived in this conflicting mood for two years, and this was also the last period of her carefree childhood—if she didn’t die of starvation, she would be considered carefree if she could sleep in bed at night.

The turning point came on a surprisingly sunny autumn afternoon. Alan sat on a small bench in the yard, weaving some cats and dogs with dog tail grass.She frowned, concentrating on concentrating on the soft grass, until there was a violent argument in the room behind her.

It was more appropriate to say that it was her mother's hysterical screams than arguing.Occasionally, my uncle whispered a word or two between mother's panting, and that kind of steady, low voice was Alan's lingering nightmare after many years.This might be odd, since a woman's rowdy voice might be more frightening to a child.However, for some reason, Alan heard from her uncle's firm and calm tone that he would not change his mind because of his mother. She vaguely foresees that there will be some changes, but she can only watch this scene in horror. everything happens.

That day my uncle left without even eating, he was not angry, and even asked Alan's mother to take care of her health before leaving.

And Ah Lan couldn't eat, because her mother turned the table over in a rage, and the rough porcelain dishes fell to the ground and turned into countless pieces.It was the first time in A Lan's life that she felt what the sky was falling from. She shivered in the corner of the room, not daring to appear in front of her mother at all.

Not long after this, one day—it was still a very sunny day—her mother washed up carefully, dressed herself up beautifully, and took Alan out the door.They walked a long way, and several times on the way, the mother asked her: "Ninny, do you still know the way home?"

Alan replied foolishly: "Yes, I remember it." This was a game she and her uncle used to play, and the uncle blindfolded himself and asked Alan to take her home.My uncle said that this ability should be cultivated from an early age.

Then the mother will continue to walk with Alan.They walked for several days, resting at inns, tea shops and other places on the way, until they reached a small county town under the jurisdiction of Kaifeng Prefecture.Then Ah Lan's mother asked her, "Ninny, do you still know the way home?"

A Lan was a little apprehensive, she shook her head and whispered, "I don't remember, it's too far away."

"Good boy." The mother smiled, and that kind of smile seemed to be the same as usual, "Wait here for mother, mother will be back in a while."

Of course, the mother never came back, and Alan became a little beggar.

"At that time, I really didn't expect that she would just leave like that." Alan sat at the table and told Zhan Zhao, she tried her best to show a look of relief, maybe she was successful.But both Zhan Zhao and herself knew that this kind of thing would never let go of her for the rest of her life.

Zhan Zhao quietly listened to Alan's intermittent and occasionally confused narration, and the candle on the table was almost burnt out.He didn't know what to say, because the feelings in his heart at this moment seemed to be greatly reduced once they were expressed verbally.In the end, Zhan Zhao just told A Lan: "Brother Ouyang wants to see you tomorrow."

"Oh." A-lan propped his chin on his fist and sighed slightly.She still couldn't recover from Ouyang Chun's sudden appearance and revisiting the unpleasant past, and her depressed mood seemed to have a real weight on her chest.Maybe we should cry more now, but Ah Lan has decided to be stronger in front of Zhan Zhao.

Zhan Zhao looked at Alan, then asked softly, "What... are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Alan replied blankly, "I'm fine now, uncle..." She read out the two words jerkyly, "He knows that I'm still alive, that should be enough."

Zhan Zhao smiled wryly: "Alan, have you ever thought that there is..." He almost bit his tongue, "With your uncle taking care of you, you can live a better life."

"How come?" Ah Lan slightly opened his eyes wide, "I don't lack anything now."

Zhan Zhao was speechless, he didn't know whether to be relieved or feel heartbroken.He paused, and was still ready to reason with A Lan: "I know how big brother Ouyang is. He came to you not only to make sure you are still alive. Big brother Ouyang has never married, but he did not marry you a few years ago. I have adopted a mothfly son, I think he will propose to take care of you."

"I don't need someone to take care of me." Alan said earnestly, "I'm already this old, and I'm not a baby who hasn't been weaned." Compared with being taken care of by others, she is more eager to take care of others.

Zhan Zhao could only slightly nod his head, which was his affirmation of Alan's heart.

"What's more," A Lan continued, "Brother, don't you still plan to go to the southwest after the next year? There is still a place on that map that we haven't visited yet."

Zhan Zhao was taken aback for a moment, he didn't expect that Ah Lan was still thinking about this matter all the time.In fact, he planned to find Chen Yin first.There is not much left in that bottle of medicine, and occasionally Zhan Zhao will have a sense of urgency that the blade is approaching, but often he will forget it completely when he sees A Lan.

"Okay, you should rest first, it's too late now." Zhan Zhao finally stood up, belatedly realizing that this time is not suitable for single men and widows to be in the same room—even though he and Ah When Lan was together, she often forgot this most basic etiquette.

Alan nodded calmly, got up and sent Zhan Zhao outside the door.However, as soon as the door was closed, Ah Lan could no longer maintain her previous expressionless face. She bent down sadly, feeling an almost substantive pain.

This night is doomed to be sleepless, no matter for A Lan or Zhan Zhao.Although it was not long before dawn, both of them still felt the unbearable pain of the long night.At the coldest point of the night, there was even snow foam in the sky.It's not the kind of goose feather heavy snow, but more like broken hailstones.

At dawn, Ah Lan got out of bed and began to wash her face and comb her hair carefully.When the sun has not yet fully risen, the sky presents an iron blue with metallic luster, which is the last stubborn resistance of the night that has not yet faded.The wind echoed from house to house, making a hollow sound that was neither urgent nor gentle.

When Alan pushed open the door, he saw Zhan Zhao at a glance.She immediately knew that the other party also had a sleepless night.In an instant, a feeling of sympathy made Ah Lan feel a burst of joy, as if the sadness of last night was blown away by the morning wind.

"I've already told Aunt Qi," Zhan Zhao said in a low voice after Ah Lan approached, "You don't have to go there today."

Alan felt relieved for a while: "Ah, that's great, I can steal a day's laziness." She smiled like a child who stole candy.

"If you're really too lazy to work, you can rest for a few more days." Zhan Zhao couldn't laugh or cry. He initially arranged Alan in the back kitchen because he was afraid that Alan would be too idle.If she really likes to do nothing, he can also satisfy her—although Zhan Zhao knows that this will never be Alan's choice.

Ah Lan really couldn't be free, so she shook her head and replied, "One day is enough." She said with a smile, "Otherwise, Aunt Qi will be too busy."

"That's good." Zhan Zhao coughed lightly, and finally said, "Then do you want to see your uncle now?"

The author has something to say: play dead