I Qinghuan gl

If you are too obsessed, you will not be able to tell whether it is the person you are paranoid about, or the unwillingness to get what you want for a long time.

I don't know if I am the former or the latter, but the reason is not very important to me, because I still can't let go of her, or it is the vague shadow in my heart.

This year I was 37 years old and not yet married.

I haven't seen her for many years.All I know is that after the catastrophe that happened in Luanhua Valley that year, she brought Qinghuan back to Beipu, and later I heard that she cremated her body with her own hands, and then put the ashes in a jade gourd and put them next to her body. with.She has been traveling all these years, taking a handful of her apprentice's ashes with her, making her home all over the world.I've always wanted to meet her, but I still can't know her exact location, and there are many affairs in the valley.

Last year, I accidentally got an authentic painting from her. The person who listened to the handwriting said that Nan Yang owed him a favor, and he begged Nan Yang to write a painting with him, and Nan Yang wrote it casually.After many twists and turns, I tried my best, and it finally came into my hands.

A thin layer of rice paper was carefully pasted on the beautifully framed scroll, on which was simply written a sentence:

I have also been drifting for a long time. In the past ten years, I have been deeply grateful, and have been teachers and friends who have died.

The date of the inscription is only one year ago.

I thought maybe I would never meet her again in this life, but to my surprise, Wuming gave me a letter a few days ago, saying it was brought by a strange carrier pigeon outside the valley.I opened the letter, and there were only a few words on the white paper:

On the seventh day of May, Yishan gathers together.

At the end is her name, the handwriting is correct and elegant, but it does not lose a vigor and purity.I took that short message and sat in a daze at the desk for a long time, not knowing what was going on in my mind for a while.These years... How is she doing?

I laughed at myself, folded the letter carefully, and stuffed it back into the envelope.Whether she is doing well or not has nothing to do with me. She will not tell me her sadness, nor will she reveal her loneliness to me.In this long enough story, I am just a passer-by from beginning to end, both for her and for myself.

There was only one person left in her life.

On the third day of the fifth lunar month, I turned off all my affairs, and only took Wuming to the glory under the crown of Yishan.Yishan is not very far from Luanhua Valley, but it's only a day's journey, and I arrived there in the afternoon of the fourth day of the lunar new year.

When I think about seeing an old friend I haven't seen for many years, I feel a little nervous and often feel restless.Wuming saw that I was always walking up and down in the inn, and I secretly covered my mouth and let out a mechanical laugh.I glared at him, and he honestly changed back to a paralyzed expression.Such a mecha man is about to live a fine life, but he still has it.

I waited in the inn for three days. During these three days, I didn't know what to do. Most of the time I sat on the steps of the door, holding the white jade mask in a daze.The exquisite auspicious cloud engravings on the white jade mask were blurred by my palm, and it took me some time to restore it later. I don’t know if it was repaired by me over the years, or whether it was bought from a small vendor back then. Same.

In the middle of the night, I didn't really want to rest, and I just leaned on the threshold and lost my mind.

A coat suddenly fell from my shoulders, I subconsciously grabbed the collar of the coat and looked back.Wuming bent down and said respectfully, "Master Gu, go and rest."

"I don't want to sleep yet, you go to sleep."

The nameless machine replied: "Master Gu, you didn't create a rest function for me."

"My craftsmanship is still a little worse than my father's."

"Master Gu?"

"No Name," I smiled, "Do you know that there was a man with this name a long time ago, who was a mech man made by my father to protect me. But he is already dead, his bones are ashes, and his bones have not survived." .And the few loyal servants left, Wuji and Wugong, they all died to protect me. My father died, and they died too. Who else can I trust in this world?"

Nameless didn't answer me, just tilted his head in doubt.

"I tried my best to make you exactly the same as Wuming, but it will never be the same." I didn't know what I was talking about, and shook my head helplessly, "Oh, I can only talk to mechs who have no emotions. Is it too much of a failure?"

"The owner of the valley is the majestic owner of the Luanhua Valley in the Central Plains, envied by all people, so why fail?"

"Speaking of which, I really don't know what those people envy me." I smiled self-deprecatingly, stroking the white jade mask in my hand, "It seems that I have everything, but I have nothing. Now I can really hold it in my hand Yes, it’s just this mask.”

"..." Wuming looked at me dully, I'm afraid his simple mind has been messed up by me.

"As the saying goes, a hero is saddened by a beauty. The ancients never deceived me." I laughed a few times, but no one responded to me. I could only focus on the desolate and boundless night.

Three days later I headed to the top of Yishan Mountain early.This is the good weather in early May, and April will be over. The old saying calls April "Huai Xu", which is a good time for peach blossoms to bloom.The peach blossoms on Yishan Mountain are in full bloom, spreading all over the mountains and plains, like pink and white sea waves.When I was about to reach the top of the mountain, I saw a small pavilion built in the peach forest on the peak from a distance.There was a person sitting vaguely in the pavilion, with his back facing me and facing the distant mountains, drinking tea quietly.Looking at her through layers of peach blossom forests, I just feel that I can't grasp it, and I can't hold it.

She came so early.

I didn't waste any time, stepped up my pace, and arrived at the pavilion very quickly.When she heard footsteps, she turned her head slightly to look at me, with a faint smile on her face that had never been eroded by time: "Junqiao, you are here."

She is still the same as I remember, whether it is the memory of my childhood or the memory of my twenties.I am old and she is still so young and beautiful.She was still wearing a plain white long dress, her long black hair was hanging down her back, and a few strands of blue silk fluttered gently with the breeze blowing.She still had the jade gourd from a few years ago hanging around her waist. It seemed that the gourd had been carefully kept by her side, and the jade surface was not damaged at all.

"You came so early. When did you come? Last night?" I sat down opposite her, picked up the kettle in front of her and poured a cup of tea into my cup.After taking a sip, I suddenly realized that the pot was not tea, but wine.

Nan Yang kept holding the wine glass in his hand, glanced at the wine noodles and my face twice, and replied softly: "I have nothing to do, I went up the mountain three days ago. You came very early, what? When is the time?"

I stared at her face and chuckled lightly: "Just arrived."

"...All these years, how has everything been going in Luanhua Valley?"

"All good. How about you?"

She was silent, rubbed the wine glass with both hands, poured a little wine into her mouth, and then looked at the distant mountains outside the pavilion: "Just muddle through."

I didn't know what to say, so I just picked up the wine in front of me and took a big sip myself.

"You are now the head of the Northern Punishment anyway, so you hand over the affairs of the door to those young lords, but you let go and wander around. Didn't you think it would be very inappropriate?"

She murmured: "I never wanted to be the head of the sect. This title is just a sham for me. The two people who most wanted to be the head of the sect are already dead. Everyone can't ask for it. Isn't it ironic. "

I lowered my head, and after a while, I said again: "She just wrote a sentence of reincarnation, so you really believe it? You should know, there is no such thing as reincarnation in this world, ghosts and gods are just deceiving people and yourself."

"I really didn't believe it before," her eyes narrowed slightly, "but for such a long time, what else can I do besides searching thousands of miles of mountains and rivers?... I didn't believe it before, but for her, I am willing to believe it." A letter."

"Why do you suddenly want to find me?" I asked again.

"I went back to Beijing Penalty a few days ago and found this when I was sorting things out." She turned her head again, took out a small object and put it on the table, and slowly pushed it to me with her index finger, "I don't know what to do. I think , it’s better to give it back to you.”

I stared blankly at the things on the table.It was a well-made mech bird, but it had obviously been abandoned for many years, the wood grain carved by the knife was filled with dust, and the joints were severely eroded.I reached out and picked it up carefully, wiping its surface lightly with my fingertips.

"Junqiao, thank you very much for taking care of me in the past. Thank you very much for coming here today." Nan Yang's voice was very soft, her tone was shallow, she didn't set her eyes on me too much, but He turned his head and looked outside the booth.Her casually placed hand was habitually placed on the jade gourd at her waist, and her movements were very gentle.

Suddenly, an impulse came to my mind, and I almost didn't think about whether it was appropriate, so I blurted out and asked, "It's been so many years, can you really not forget her?"

She looked at me with no emotion in her eyes, but quietly, there was an unspeakable emotion flowing.She suddenly hooked the lower corner of her lips, seeming to chuckle, but quickly regained her composure, and her tone became much stronger:

"She stays in my heart, year after year, day and night, reminding me all the time what is flesh and blood and what is worth living in."

I bit my lower lip and stopped talking, as if I was suffocating.

"Everything is destiny, and I can't defy it. The only thing I want to defy is time, and I don't want time to take her away. At least, I can't take her away from my memory."

"..."

"Junqiao, you should have your own life. At this age, the time of youth and ignorance should have disappeared with time." She said very cryptically.After saying this, she didn't speak anymore, just drinking wine glass by glass.

Her drinking capacity has become so good.

Neither of us spoke, just sat opposite each other, silently watching the scenery outside the pavilion.

Time passed slowly, and I watched the sunlight change from thin to brilliant, and then to thin and trapped in a fool.Nan Yang just looked at the rolling green hills in the distance at sunset, and suddenly murmured softly:

"Long sky, what's so special about it?"

After saying this, she seemed to lower her head with a smile and shook her head, then picked up the wine glass again.

For the first time, I felt so clearly that she was so lonely.Maybe she is more lonely than me, I have nothing around me, and sometimes I don't miss her when I am busy.But her waist is a gourd containing the ashes of her apprentice, and she will spend a lot of time thinking about her all day long, and the more she misses, the more lonely she will be.

My heart was heavy, and I suddenly felt sorry for her.In fact, she has always been the one who makes people feel distressed the most.

In the past, when adversity came, there was that person who helped her resist and faced it with her.But now, that person's departure has become her greatest suffering.The eternal life that the world longs for, but for her, it is the shackles that she can never shake off, firmly shackled her, and shackled her in the boundless darkness every day and night, bit by bit wear and tear erodes her last hope .

"Junqiao, I'm leaving."

When the sun was about to hide behind the mountains, she told me so.As expected, her eyes didn't stay on me too much, and she didn't stop too much.That's right, all the things she misses are already by her side, so naturally she doesn't need to look at me any more.

I just sat where I was and didn't say goodbye to her, even though I knew it might be the last time we saw each other.She didn't take anything, only left me this mecha bird, and then slowly went down the mountain alone.I watched her back disappear bit by bit along the winding path in the mountains, and disappeared in the peach blossom forest.

It was dark.I don't want to leave yet, I keep holding that mech bird in my hand.I stroked the bird back and forth with my fingers, accidentally touched a small organ protruding from the mecha bird's belly, and subconsciously pressed it.

A strange voice sounded——

"Honorable Master Nanyang, it's time for dinner."

Suddenly, more than ten years ago, at a bustling and noisy lantern festival, I gave this mech bird to her, and the bird nimbly landed on her shoulder; there was also a place called Yushuiguan, The young me took this mecha bird and showed her the sound storage stone in the belly of the bird with great interest.

It was still early, everything was very early.

I couldn't help laughing out loud, but tears suddenly flowed down violently, and I laughed very hard.Holding the mecha bird tightly with one hand, it was so tight that the palm of the hand was painful, and the other hand covered his mouth, trying to suppress his voice and cry bitterly.

If I had a choice, I wish I had never fallen in love with her.

But I have no choice.Fate will not give me a choice, even if I do it all over again, I will still meet her and lose all my time to her without any choice.

……

……

……

A hundred years later, the world will undergo great changes, sects will rise and fall, and overlords will change.All the influential figures in the rivers and lakes are all submerged in the ruthless torrent of time.

As for Junqiao, only the family tree of Luanhuajun's family records the life of the valley owners in the past.

Junqiao, the eighth Guzhu of Luanhua, was born at the age of 58. He had a rough life, lost his mother when he was young, and lost his father when he was young.After the change of the position of the owner of the valley, he made a comeback and sat firmly at the head of the Luanhua Sect. He never married in his life, and before his death, he passed on to a distant relative outside the clan.

After Junqiao died, he was buried in the ancestral tomb of the Jun family. The Jun family emphasized Fengshui. According to the compass and gossip, the tomb of Junqiao should face south.However, in Junqiao’s last words, he insisted on violating the rules of feng shui, and turned the door of the tomb to face the north. The burial object was only an ordinary wooden mech bird; With a peaceful face, it can be said that he is dying.