calm to light

……

When I opened my eyes again, no one was there, the white light was very dazzling, but that dazzling turned into a hazy but soft halo in just an instant, and at that moment, I was a little dazed...

"Boom!" There was a loud noise, followed by countless noisy footsteps...

……

Someone carefully fed a bitter liquid into my mouth. I swallowed it subconsciously, but let the liquid slip down in embarrassment. My movements were clumsy like a child eating for the first time, and I moved entirely by subconscious movements...

"Niangniang... finally..." A familiar voice, but I couldn't tell who was speaking, the scene in front of me was still blurry, the feeling of powerlessness paralyzed all my senses, did I wake up?Or dead... For a moment, I couldn't tell...

……

"Your Majesty," Su Peisheng, who got the news, ran into the Hall of Qinzheng in a panic. He didn't know whether he was more surprised or more frightened. The person who had only one breath left to be buried, now woke up. "Wake up, Concubine Ru is awake..."

"Wake up..." He finished writing on the memorial seemingly smoothly, but the slight bend revealed the restlessness in his heart. Woke up, has she survived?But is it really she who survived...?He was a little uncertain, put down the pen in his hand, and Yinzhen said complicatedly, "Go to Yanxi Palace."

I have no strength in my body, but my spirit is very good. The feeling of blurred eyes has disappeared, so I can see Hongli's tear-stained face clearly, and my heart seems to be pulled by a small hand. , a little uncomfortable.

"Er Niang..." She was still choking up when she spoke, crying like a child, obviously she didn't let her tears flow so indulgently when she was in despair.

It took a lot of effort to get his fingers onto Hongli's cheeks, but he still couldn't wipe away his tears and fell down powerlessly. However, in mid-air, Hongli carefully held his withered hand, sticking it to his face. On his cheek, he smiled contentedly, "Great... Finally, I woke up..."

Crying and laughing, just like a child... However, Hongli himself is also a child.

When Yinzhen arrived at the gate of Yanxi Palace, he stopped in his footsteps and stopped moving forward. The emperor's guard of honor was outside the palace, and only Su Peisheng followed behind him. He didn't understand his pause but didn't question him. He advanced and retreated very gracefully. "You wait outside the door."

Such hesitation, on the contrary, he is not like himself, Yinzhen laughed at himself.

There were tears in the corners of the boy's eyes, but his smile was satisfied. He carefully held a pair of unattractive hands, and the person who had been lying on the bed opened his eyes full of tenderness that he had never seen before, and suddenly felt a little jealous. That kid was gone, and that inexplicable emotion hadn't faded away, so he met her warm eyes unsuspectingly.

……

when did he come over...

I don't know, but this feeling is really subtle. Seeing him again, I will feel the joy of reuniting after a long absence... "You are here..." After saying the words, both of them were shocked. He didn't think of me Being able to say such words with such a tone, I walked to my side completely subconsciously, and I looked at him in a daze, I couldn't even figure out how I could face him again with such an attitude .

As if longing to see him, these three short words are like an opening, allowing the longing I have been suppressing to seep out bit by bit... Maybe I have not been honest enough, but I have slept for so long. It's because he forgot how to ignore this uncontrollable emotion, but seeing his obviously out-of-control appearance, he felt that even if he wasn't so depressed, it was okay.

After losing the thing I care about the most, I seem to have given up on being cautious all the time. Since it’s not time to die, I’ll live recklessly, and I have nothing to lose...

Hongli likes me, so I love him...

If he likes me, then I will please him...

...I used to do this way, but I was cautious and fearful...Love is not pure love, but to please is to try my best to please.

Now I don't want to be like this anymore... If I continue like this, mother... Mom will feel useless...

The author has something to say: I always feel that if a person falls asleep when he is most desperate, the feeling of sadness will either slowly accumulate in the deep sleep and finally open the door to death, or it will start to deteriorate under a certain opportunity and finally disappear. It's like a phoenix nirvana.

Putting it to death and rebirth, what I want is the kind of indifference. When the target that has been cautious and forbearing disappears, this kind of An Lingrong is really unscrupulous.In the past, she worked every step of the way for her mother's good life, that's why she was pinned down again and again and was passive. Now she is more sorrowful than heartbroken, but heartbroken is not complete. This kind of her He will be an indifferent person, but not a heartless person. He will not be assimilated in the harem, but he will not die young.