The big winner in life [Comprehensive]

Song Dynasty, in May of the third year of Dazhong Xiangfu (AD 1010), the harem of Zhao Heng, the third emperor of the Song Dynasty, was undercurrents. When the melons are ripe, and Pan'er's eager official family finds out that the two empresses are pregnant in the same month, they will say that whoever is the husband will be the queen, and whoever will be the queen.

On this day, Concubine Li Chen started it first.

In Concubine Liu De's palace, Concubine Liu De was not in a hurry, and there was no one else. She had already prepared a "kill two birds with one stone" drama, and she was already beating the gongs and drums and waiting for the opening.

Just thinking about the inner supervisor Guo Huai coming in briskly, and giving Concubine Liu De a look of "everything is safe", the master and servant looked at each other and smiled, everything was silent, waiting for the good show to begin, wait, wait, wait, When Concubine Li Chen came and gave birth to a son safely, the officials were very happy with this son, and they were about to draw up a decree to make Concubine Li Chen the empress.

Guo Huai: "!!! This is impossible!" He had already bribed everyone up and down, replaced a skinned civet cat with the prince born to Concubine Li Chen, and drowned the prince who was born!

Concubine Liu De was struck by a thunderbolt, she immediately cried out in pain.

Guo Huai didn't want to lose Concubine Liu De's favor, so he tried to find a way to remedy it: "Mother, the child is easy to die—" The implication is obvious, but Concubine Liu De is still screaming hysterically, Guo Huai is thinking that his mother is this Got hit too hard and lost your mind?Guo Huai, who just thought this way, was grabbed by Concubine Liu Defei's wrist: "I—"

Guo Huai didn't care about the pain, and quickly persuaded: "Your Majesty, calm down first—"

"I, I'm going to give birth!" Concubine Liu De finally said the whole sentence, she was so angry that she was so angry... The next day, Concubine Liu De gave birth to the emperor's son, but the child was damaged in the mother's womb , born as weak as a kitten, and crying like a kitten.Concubine Li Chen gave birth to Yuxue, who was cute, and his eyes were as bright as black grapes. Zhao Heng was so disappointed that he went to see his sweetheart in Concubine Li Chen's palace in a blink of an eye. .

Concubine Liu De is about to fall out of favor.

Guo Huai swore again and again that he definitely used a civet cat to replace Concubine Li Chen’s child, and it was useless, but #天天有好生之德#, Guo Huai finally found a way to prove his innocence, It's just that this method almost frightened him and Concubine Liu De -

Concubine Li Chen, no, she is now a queen, and the son she gave birth to was named Yiyi by Zhao Heng, and when he was one year old, he was named the king of Shouchun County—if he was not young, Zhao Heng would have directly named him the prince That's it - when the king of Shouchun County celebrates his first birthday, not only all civil and military officials came to see the ceremony, but also all the concubines in the harem were present.

As soon as King Shouchun appeared on the stage, those bright and moist cat eyes blinked, and immediately turned into a group of people. Seeing him contentedly looking for something he was interested in on the imperial case, the little tender hand pawed at it. , the dawdling over there, the unhurried speed made every bystander eager to help him take it, but they were reluctant to look away, except Concubine Liu De and Guo Huai.

"Your Majesty——" Guo Huai's teeth were chattering. On the one hand, he was frightened, and on the other hand, Concubine Liu De was pinching his wrist desperately. The strength was trembling like Guo Huai's teeth, and Concubine Liu De's face was pale. Scared.

Zhao Heng usually takes care of his youngest son (the one born by Concubine Liu De was selectively ignored by Zhao Heng, the emperor is so capricious). Not to mention that this is the first time Concubine Liu De has seen her today, it is the number of times her biological mother, Empress Li, has seen him Not too many.But it does not prevent the reputation of the little prince from being spread throughout the court and the public. Those who are talented and cute don't need money to spread, but I saw it seriously today. No matter how high-minded you are, you have to admit that there are children who can grow so tall Good looking and so cute.

Everyone saw Yuxue's lovely golden boy, only Concubine Liu De and Guo Huai saw a civet cat, a civet cat wearing a bright yellow embroidered cute version of the four-clawed golden dragon, the paws, the tail, the cat face I can see clearly!

If Concubine Liu De saw it alone, she could still comfort herself by saying that she was dazzled, didn't sleep well last night, and suffered from hysteria... But Guo Huai also saw it.

— Well, this can be explained by the fact that both their master and servant are hysterical.

Concubine Liu De and Guo Huai's strangeness didn't get half of the attention of others, and everyone was "scratching their hearts and lungs" watching Shouchun County King catch Zhou.The king of Shouchun County is lazy, and everyone automatically beautifies it into a slow and orderly style, with everyone's demeanor, and it's a good job. An exquisite ball is very exquisitely made, and the one inlaid with gold and jade is also priceless.The king of Shouchun County was very happy to catch it. He picked it up and down with his tender hands. Everyone was worried. Your little man is catching the week, and it is related to the country. Can you stop catching such a playful object!

But Zhao Heng is happy. Inside the Linglong Ball is a miniature version of the jade seal that he asked the craftsman to make. Look at how discerning his family's emperor is.It just so happened that King Shouchun opened his mouth and called out "Father Emperor". The joy of the dragon's heart is not enough to describe Zhao Heng's mood, and his mouth is about to grin.

However, for Concubine Liu De and Guo Huai, this scene was nothing short of a nightmare, the civet cat talked and talked!It's not over yet, after catching the week, Zhao Heng is going back to the Jinluan Hall with his heart in his arms. The King of Shouchun lay on the official's shoulder and yawned lazily. I don't know how many ministers showed affection groans.

But things are so two-sided:

"Meow~"

The king of Shouchun County definitely "meowed" at them, and the whiskers on the furry cat's face were baring their teeth and claws.Concubine Liu De was able to last for so long, and she still had a good psychological quality. As a result, the king of Shouchun County "meowed", and her psychology was like a sea that broke its embankment. concussion.

"Gulong!"

Concubine Liu De fainted just like that, Guo Huai was actually not much better, he also wanted to faint.

——Shouchun County King’s Catch the Zhou Ceremony ended with great vigor, and it seems that some incredible mode has started.

Zhao Yiyi, who is now dubbed the king of Shouchun County, is Gu Qing who has come to another fantasy journey. It is not that he has not transmigrated into animals. For example, he has been a dragon and a dinosaur before, but this time It's a little different, he can transform into a true form, but since his "spirituality" is still short, in fact, it's only a year, so the feline nature has not been eliminated.Fortunately, he is now transformed into a baby. The instincts of cats and babies overlap in many cases, such as licking hands (paws), rolling, and loving to play with balls and so on.

In fact, they also love to climb trees and come out at night.

Ahem, I seem to know too much, but no one in the palace knows as much as Concubine Liu De and Guo Huai, especially Guo Huai.Because as the king of Shouchun County grows up, he becomes the king of the imperial city, and the whole palace is his territory. Guo Huai can't hide no matter how hard he is, and there is always a chance to meet the king of Shouchun County.

The king of Shouchun who climbed a tree, the king of Shouchun who rode a big horse, the king of Shouchun who played peek-a-boo with court ladies, the king of Shouchun who held a bird's nest with a slingshot, etc., among others (mainly The excrement shovel officers of Shouchun County King) It seems that Shouchun County King is so energetic and intelligent.But in the opinion of Guo Huai, who "I can see ghosts with both eyes", the Shouchun County King in the above series of activities has to be replaced by a civet cat, a civet cat with shiny fur and a ring-shaped tail! ! !

If you just look at the civet cat, it has an elegant body, shiny fur, and unique markings on it, which is very cute.But Guo Huai couldn't be cute at all, he felt that he was still in the nightmare again and again, it wasn't a raccoon cat, it wasn't the Shouchun County King, it was a Raksha ghost, who came to avenge his revenge!

Ask the last point, how does Guo Huai know that no matter where he slept last night, even in his private house outside the imperial city, when he wakes up the next day, there will always be dead mice on his bedside; no matter where he goes , as long as he meets a cat—even if the cat is not a raccoon cat—the cats will always stare at him and grin at him... No matter how courageous Guo Huai is, he will be scared away.

In a short period of time, Guo Huai changed from being an arrogant inner prisoner to shivering, neither human nor ghost. Wearing the gray inner prisoner's clothes, he looked like a gray and thin mouse.

One word, miserable!

Concubine Liu De's life is not easy, she has always been loved by Zhao Heng, but who made a goblin come out halfway - literally - a precious son whose blood is thicker than water, and a woman who loves so much, a man , especially the man who is eager for Pan'er, it won't be long before he sees which of these two is more important in his heart.Although Concubine Liu De did not fall out of favor, she was not as good as before. In addition, she was also the son she was looking forward to, and because of her own sins, she gave birth prematurely, which made the child weak, and died before she was two years old.

As the saying goes, if you don’t perish in silence, you will pervert in silence. Under multiple tortures, Concubine Liu De became black. She took advantage of her son’s premature death and begged Zhao Heng to invite the most respected and respected Master Li Wu to teach her son the practice. , Send him to die in peace.

This is naturally to "secretly hide the old position": praying for blessings is false, but catching monsters is true.Concubine Liu De also healed her scar and forgot the pain, so what awaited her this time was still a "happy surprise"——

Master Liao Wu has profound Buddhist teachings. At first glance, the king of Shouchun County, who is three years old, wearing a gold-painted red double-breasted coat, with two red-headed ropes tied into the sky, and blinking a pair of big round and bright eyes, was stunned. up.

Concubine Liu De immediately thought that Master Wu had seen through the real body of Shouchun County King, and she was about to say #呔，首首# in the next moment, but wait, wait, Concubine Liu De did not wait for this sentence, but waited for it Master Wu said to the official family: "This son is extraordinary. It is my great fortune for the official family to have this son. It is so good."

Oh, your mother's head!

Concubine Liu De's throat was fishy and sweet, it was a mouthful of blood choked up, if she failed to become a pervert, she would only kill herself, she immediately ignored everything, and shouted: "Guan, your heart is extraordinary, he is not human at all , he is a civet cat, official!"

Zhao Heng's face immediately darkened: "Concubine De, stop talking nonsense!"

The real raccoon spirit, the king of Shouchun County, was very innocent and said with his little hands behind his back: "Meow, I like meow."

——Yes, the only three-year-old Shouchun County King always has such cute lisps when it comes to the words "cat" and "meow".

Zhao Heng's face softened.

But Wang Mingming of Shouchun County said meow meow very cutely, in Concubine Liu De’s eyes, it was a civet cat talking, but in her ears, it was also “meow meow meow meow meow”, which became a straw that completely bent her. He laughed like a lunatic, and suddenly came to King Shouchun when it was over, "civet cat, I will kill you, you civet cat spirit!" This is to tear the king of Shouchun County.

It was taken for granted that the attempted tearing up was attempted, and the consequences of this attempted tearing up were very serious. Concubine Liu De was thrown into the cold palace, and her subordinates, including Guo Huai, were naturally sitting down. Hanged, with a smile of relief on his lips.

So far, Concubine Liu Defei has withdrawn from the stage.

Your Highness Meow Meow, bah, the Shouchun King's territory in the imperial city has been further expanded, and he has completely become the little overlord of the imperial city. It even gradually expanded to the cats and grandchildren of the entire Bianliang City.Speaking of which, when the cat is lying quietly on the wall, who would doubt that it is a thread cat (corresponding to the thread person), even if your own cat comes to the study and steps on a few plum blossoms on the rice paper, it will only think that it is a thread cat (corresponding to the thread person). The cat is naughty, so you don't think that people are only ambitious cats who come to be spies.

But someone is about to ask, did all the civil and military officials in the Song Dynasty raise cats?The answer is really, either being raised by a courtier, or raised by the wife of the family, whoever makes the official family have a weird, cute and beloved His Highness Miaomiao.We can't raise the king of Shouchun County, but it's not a crime to raise a cat to "borrow things to describe people", but I don't know that this is simply #引猫入房#!

Still, that's welcome news, right?

In this situation where the status of the cat family is superior to that of the dog family, the king of Shouchun County has also grown into a big child, and his status has also risen steadily. At the age of eight, he was established as the crown prince and given the name Zhao Zhen, and his position in the court and the opposition was stable.

In February of the first year of Qianxing (1022), Zhao Heng died. His posthumous title was Wenming Zhang Sheng Yuanxiao Emperor, and his temple name was Zhenzong, which was Song Zhenzong.

His Royal Highness, Zhao Zhen, ascended the throne as the new emperor. The 13-year-old new emperor wore a bright yellow five-clawed flying dragon silk dragon robe, and a pair of bright cat eyes set him off... more immature, not to mention that he still has a little baby fat, In this case, it seems that there is not so much deterrence, but the civil and military officials kneeling under the nine imperial steps don't think so: the emperor's health is not bad this year, but his health was not so good a few years ago Well, at that time, His Royal Highness the Crown Prince would naturally handle the daily government affairs of the court and rule on major military and state affairs.

Two years before Zhenzong's death, His Royal Highness the Crown Prince had become the de facto ruler. Those who despised His Royal Highness the Crown Prince because he was young and good-looking (cute) didn't even patronize the rats at home.To put it in layman's terms, whoever is disobedient just scratches his paws a few times until you are convinced and obediently be my shit-shoveling officer.Cough, the ministers have learned a lot about the extraordinary ability of His Royal Highness the Crown Prince. If they refuse to accept it, the officials are still kept in the dark, thinking that the Crown Prince is still a good boy who needs the protection of the elders. No, don’t worry about it before he dies. His darling, he pointed to his younger brother Zhao Yuanyan, king of Jing, known as the "Eight Wise Kings" in the ruling and opposition parties, to assist the government.There is a bit of meaning in it that the eight wise kings are regents. After all, His Royal Highness is still young, and he will not be an adult for several years.

The ministers at that time looked at each other in blank dismay, wondering if you, the official, are sick and confused?His Royal Highness is #人不老心老# ah, look at the censor doctor who was scratched by his villain just a while ago and hit the pillar Mingzhi...attempted; look at the two headed by Kou Yi and Ding Wei who were originally fighting to the death Pai, fight back and forth from #不是你死是我死#斗到#我们手手手，我们死亲#, suddenly looking back, the power is back in the hands of His Royal Highness; listen to the wailing of the officials who were relegated Sound and so on.What if His Royal Highness the Crown Prince needs someone to assist or regent after he ascends the throne?Official, you don't really love your brother Baxian Wang, you actually dig a hole for Baxian Wang to jump into, right?Is there no real brotherhood in the royal family?

All the ministers are definitely conspiring, Zhao Heng really doesn't know that his family is crazy.

Poor Zhenzong was conspired by his courtiers just before his death, and the misunderstanding has not been resolved, alas.

But from another point of view, His Royal Highness's acting skills are getting more and more superb. He is obviously an overlord flower. It is a civet cat that has only been formed for about ten years.

In fact, it's not just the ministers who are secretly plotting so much, the highly respected Eight Sage Kings are also worried. Although he is not the kind of person who is greedy for power, sometimes his words are scary, so after thinking twice, in His Royal Highness After ascending the throne, the Eight Sage Kings entered the palace to decline the post of assistant.

When the Eight Sage Kings entered the palace, the officials were... basking in the sun.

Hearing the eight sage king's resignation, the official's already big and round cat eyes widened, and there was an inexplicable illusion that he was about to cry.Usually in the government and the public, the Eight Wise Kings, who are very popular among the people, immediately felt the condemning eyes cast by the palace people.

Eight Sage Kings: "..."

The official didn't speak, and scratched the blooming flowers in the imperial garden once and for all, and the petals rustled all over the ground.Which of the flowers in the imperial garden is not the best among flowers, but after the official scratches one plate, the official will immediately send another pot with quick eyes and hands, and said "it is your honor to let the official fold flowers" Look, isn’t there a poem that says: #花开做打打直接, Don’t wait for no flowers to break branches#?

Eight Sage King: "..." I always feel that something is wrong, but the expressions of the surrounding officials are too consistent, making Eight Sage King feel that his idea of ​​"it's wrong for officials to waste so much" is too much?After all, the official family is young—wait a minute, this is wrong, although the official family is young, they already have thousands of gaps in their hearts, and there is no need for him, the emperor's uncle, to "add power to the snake".So he bit the bullet and called the official, and of course he got another wave of condemning eyes.

Eight Sage Kings: "..."

The official came back to his senses after being called out. He waved his hands and stopped trampling on the expensive flowers. He just went to fight beside the flower clusters. He was wearing a plain crimson gauze robe, and his pink and white face set him off perfectly. It seems to exude a lonely breath.How many girls are envious and jealous. The long and curled eyelashes tremble and tremble, and then they glance at you with those bright and moist eyes, all of which make people feel like a cat's claw is scratching and scratching in their hearts. You have to agree to what he says, not to mention that he hasn't spoken yet.

The Eight Sage Kings lowered their heads.

The official, who has seen through the soul, sighed slightly, as if the sigh came directly to your heart, "Uncle Ba is worried about following others' opinions?"

The Eight Sage Kings acquiesced.

"I understand, Eighth Uncle can go back to the house and wait for my good news." Gu Qing, who had always been logic-dead and never surpassed, cheered up when he said this, and instantly lit up, comparing all the flowers and plants in the garden.The Eighth Sage King was taken aback by that smiling face, so he left the palace in a daze, and only realized it when he returned to the palace. "Good news"?What good news?Did the officials misunderstand his intentions?

Although the Eight Sage Kings were confused, it didn't affect him to stay behind closed doors and ignore the government affairs.But such a leisurely life was broken by the ministers who organized a delegation to invite him out after ten days.

The ministers who came in a group saw the Eight Sage King as if they were seeing their relatives. The Eight Sage King took a closer look, and the originally glamorous ministers looked like eggplants beaten by frost, and their eyes were black and blue. , Eight Sage King hurriedly asked: "What happened?"

It's okay if the Eight Sage Kings didn't ask, but the ministers almost burst into tears when they asked.

"My lord, I haven't slept well for ten days, no, I didn't sleep at night!"

"My lord, you can do it, go back to work!"

"My lord, if you don't go back to work, I won't be able to sleep at night!"

Eight Sage Kings: "...what the hell is going on?" After asking clearly, Eight Sage Kings also couldn't laugh or cry——

When he was a prince, he was in a detached position. After he became an official, he also held great power. After the even more legitimate official came to power, the first decree he issued was to reverse the time of the court meeting, that is, from broad daylight to midnight.

Have the right to be willful.

The ministers didn't protest at first, didn't they just turn upside down day and night?But after three days, the minister didn't think so. The routine of work and rest was disrupted. At night, when it was time to go to sleep, he was excited. He had no choice but to drink more strong tea, but he could wait until he returned home at night. Let's catch up on sleep at home, because I can't sleep because I drink too much strong tea.After going back and forth like this, the ministers suffered from severe lack of sleep.

They want to protest, but the government is also upside down day and night, everyone is the same, you have the nerve to protest?But the blame is here, the official's energy is better when the court meeting is held at night, and the big eyes are shining out, shining on everyone.Really, it's really unlucky, this is not to say that fine copper coins will be the end of the matter, if you are caught, you will not be fined, and you will come up to draw lots-yes, the official made a lot of fines, and the punishment on it is the kind of "self-defeating" It hurts and others laugh”, such as playing a song in public (it’s strange to say that all the people who get this fine lottery are the type with insufficiency of tone), and another example is that you can pass your own embarrassment until half of your colleagues think it’s embarrassing. (So ​​if you meet someone with a bad relationship with your colleagues, just wait for embarrassing things to talk about), and so on.

After another seven days like this, [-]% of the Chinese and Chinese military officials have been recruited. If this continues, it is really not an option. It must be #起展求国#, so the ministers went back to the day before the implementation of the day and night reversal decree Then there was the matter that the ministers who figured out the official intentions ran to the eight sage king's mansion, crying and calling for the eight sage king to come out of the mountain.

The Eight Sage Kings were flocked to the palace like "driving ducks to the shelves", and the officials, who were less energetic during the day than at night, suddenly smiled like flowers, "This is very good."

The ministers were really relieved, but the sky was thunderbolt, and the officials summoned them to a court meeting that night.

Ministers: "..." This is different from what was agreed qwq

This is just the beginning. After the court meeting at night came to an end, civil and military officials ushered in the "court court on a cloudy day if not on a sunny day", "court court on a cloudy day instead of the Golden Luan Hall", and even more strangely, there was another official ceremony. The family climbed the tree and couldn't get down, they just listened to the hadith with their necks up, and they didn't lower their necks for a long time after the court meeting. They only have to sit in rows around the dragon bed, which is more weird than the official discussion?Wait, there was another time when it snowed in winter, and the officials took them to a snowball fight... Can't pick which one is more weird.

The civil and military officials of the Song Dynasty ushered in the fifth year of Tiansheng (1027 A.D.) with such joy. The official family became more and more graceful. Bah, their faces are like crown jade. At the same time, this year is a big year. Many students from all over the world came to Bianliang City to participate in the general examination and palace examination.

When it was time for the palace examination, the test papers were presented in front of the officials, accompanied by the Eight Sage Kings, and suddenly the officials praised: "Luzhou Baozheng, good."

The Eighth Sage King waited for a while, but he didn't wait for the official to say where the good news was, so he had to ask where the good news was.

The official blinked his big bright and energetic eyes, and gave an answer that almost made Eight Sage Kings fall off his chair: "Fortunately, the name is good."

Eight Sage Kings: "..."

Regardless of whether the Eight Sage Kings believe it or not, the ministers who pricked up their ears to hear this believe it, and it is logical that "Zheng" named "Bao Zheng" to the grandchildren of the family. Just think about it. Four of the ten out of ten who were beaten with a stick by Chao Wenwu were called "X Zheng".Well, thinking about it is still very beautiful... right?

But the key now is not this, Luzhou Bao Zheng has come, is Nan Xia Zhan Zhao still far away?

——Oh, you may ask Nan Xia Zhan Zhao is not a historical figure, how did he appear?The civet cat has been replaced by the prince, and the real civet cat has become an official. Do you still think this is official history?Unofficial history is not so mysterious.

——Meow~