Love Rival is so cute [Rebirth GL]

[To exist is to be perceived. 】

Yang Zixi has been using this sentence to convince himself not to think about the things in his previous life.

But she began to dream about her previous life frequently.

She dreamed that her parents were crying so hard that their handkerchiefs were soaked with tears; she dreamed that Zhong Li sorted out her belongings and put everything into the small attic.

She dreamed of many, many things, and those things were all connected into pieces, completely depicting the world after she left in the dream.She was sad and helpless, and she couldn't help them wipe away the tears even though she cried and cried because of her.

Yang Zixi has gradually become unclear whether those are dreams or the real world after his death.

To exist is to be perceived, so is dream a way of perception?Is what I have dreamed countless times a form of existence?

So is the high school I am in now just a fantasy, or just a brain-in-a-vat experiment?

Yang Zixi didn't know anything, all he knew was that he had dreamed of Yan Haiqing countless times.

Yan Haiqing sent Yan Ming to prison;

Yan Haiqing held a Van Gogh exhibition;

Yan Haiqing rejected the marriage proposal of his partner;

Yan Haiqing bought the house sold by Yang Yong and his wife;

Yan Haiqing sat on the attic of the house all night;

or……

Yan Haiqing knelt on the bed and said in a trembling voice, "You go."

Yang Zixi stood by the bed and said, "Where do you want me to go?"

Yan Haiqing said: "Anywhere is good, just don't come to my dream again. Please, I know you are fake, and your love for me is all fake..."

Yan Haiqing looks to be in his 30s and lives in a beautifully decorated but empty and lonely house.

Yang Zixi clearly knew that she was dreaming, because she had been dreaming of Yan Haiqing for a week in a row—Yan Haiqing who robbed Lu Yangwen.

She was curious and asked, "What did you dream about me? What did I do in your dream?"

"Even if I make up a dream and put you in it, let you save me, make you love me, let you kiss me, but I can't make you come back to life." Yan Haiqing said: "So you go, you let me go , please. I would rather you never love me than to lie to myself in my dream."

After saying these words, Yan Haiqing raised his head and gave Yang Zixi a last look with infinitely nostalgic eyes, and then said: "Goodbye, Yang Zixi."

Her hand passed through Yang Zixi's empty body and stirred in his abdomen. Yang Zixi felt a cramping pain in his stomach, and then woke up.

When she opened her eyes, she saw the ceiling, which was her soft and familiar home.She lifted the quilt and looked at the sheets. Sure enough, she had menstruation.

She got up from the bed and skillfully changed the sheets and clothes.While changing, I thought: Why do I dream of Yan Haiqing?

During this period of time, Yan Haiqing seemed to be settled in her dream.She watched that after her death, Yan Haiqing annexed Yan Ming's property step by step, and then took good care of the Yang family, putting a lot of water in the business.

She watched Yan Haiqing become mature, successful, indifferent, and sick little by little, but he never had a companion by his side.

She watched Yan Haiqing show infinite nostalgia for herself, and went to see a psychiatrist every week, but she couldn't make up her mind to forget herself.

Yang Zixi felt that the logic in his dreams was very strange. These dreams were obviously a continuation of the timeline after his death, but in that timeline, Yan Haiqing shouldn't be so attached to him.

Could it be that he plotted against Yan Haiqing in this life, so in his dream, Yan Haiqing from the previous life had a deep love for him?

Yang Zixi shook his head, trying to get all these messy things out of his mind.

---

Yan Haiqing was wearing an exquisite and decent suit, with his legs crossed, sitting relaxed on the soft sofa, and said to the psychiatrist in front of him, "I don't feel very well recently."

The psychiatrist's smile was relaxing, and he said, "Did Miss Yan have a nightmare again?"

Yan Haiqing tilted his head and shook his head, and said: "To be precise, everything is the same as before. I occasionally dream about her. In my dreams, she is a little girl. She lives very well on campus, like she will never be. Grow up." When he said this, Yan Haiqing had a sense of satisfaction like drinking poppies on his face.

The psychiatrist, who had worked with her for a long time, nodded and asked, "What about those hallucinations?"

"Still," Yan Haiqing pursed his lips, pointed in a random direction, and said, "For example, she is standing there now."

Yang Zixi was taken aback because Yan Haiqing was looking straight at him.

She has had so many dreams that no one can see her, and she will always be the No.1 God's perspective.But could Yan Haiqing be able to see himself?

Yan Haiqing laughed and said: "She has a 15-year-old face, and she is looking at me in amazement. I have to say, this hallucination is too real. I usually don't go to see her, but now I look carefully, it's almost the same as the one in my memory. Exactly the same."

Yan Haiqing even raised his hand and waved at her, saying, "Although you have been by my side for a long time, this is the first time I have met you. Hello, Yang Zixi's hallucination."

Yang Zixi objected subconsciously, "I'm not hallucinating."

Yan Haiqing raised the corners of his mouth and smiled sarcastically.

The psychiatrist looked back at the area Yan Haiqing pointed to, then turned his head and apologized to Yan Haiqing: "I'm sorry, to be honest, I didn't see it."

Yan Haiqing waved his hand and said, "I said it was my hallucination, how could you see it?"

The psychiatrist asked again: "According to your previous description, hallucinations and dreams have appeared for more than ten years, and they have not affected my life."

Yan Haiqing nodded, kept staring at Yang Zixi and said, "Even if I know it's fake, as long as I can see her, I'm not willing to deal with it."

"In fact, this is a very normal psychology." The psychiatrist said.

"Yes, but now I want to solve it."

"May I take the liberty to ask, what prompted you to make such a decision? Judging from the previous few chats, you are actually unwilling to change subjectively. Has something happened now?"

Yan Haiqing shook his head and said, "People can't stay in the same place, I just want to change."

She looked at Yang Zixi greedily, and said, "But since I have decided to abandon this illusion, let me see her again, my little girl."

leggirl

The psychiatrist looked at Yan Haiqing, smiled, and said, "Willing to make a change is the most difficult step. I can't help you make a decision, but since you have already made a decision, I will help you get out."

"She is my little girl. When I was young, I was quite stubborn. I accidentally...killed her. I have said all of this. Maybe it is to make up for it. I often dream about her." Yan Haiqing still looked at Yang Zixi, But his eyes were already a little empty, and he didn't know what he was thinking.

Yan Haiqing never likes to talk when doing psychological counseling, but talking is the most important part of psychological counseling.The psychiatrist has always found Yan Haiqing very difficult, because a patient who is unwilling to open up cannot be dealt with.But now that Yan Haiqing was willing to speak, she listened tenderly.

"I made up a utopia in my dream and put her in it. I dreamed that she didn't die, but returned to our common high school days, although we were not in the same class. This time it was very different. She and I read After taking a class, we became very good...friends.

"It's like a TV series, like a comic book. In short, I was supported by these dreams for a while. She is very gentle and a good person. She not only supported me now, but also changed my past. Because of her existence, I once All the bad things that happened to me have been changed. Although I know it's a dream, I can't help but think, if I could go back in time, maybe she and I would look like that?

"It's like... Tongque Tower. I saw that we in the dream became closer and closer, and I became more and more relieved, and I became more and more unwilling to give up this dream-even if I was weak in the dream. My character Many defects are caused by childhood experiences. I am too lazy to correct them and I don’t want to correct them. It’s not these psychological defects. I won’t become stronger. This is me. But in my dream, I don’t have these injuries. She is very cowardly, she is not me. Sometimes when I look at her, I hate iron and steel, Mr. Xu, is this a little abnormal?" Yan Haiqing shifted his gaze to the psychiatrist, asked a question, and interrupted confide.

Dr. Xu smiled and said: "Maybe you are not satisfied with yourself now, so you want to change your childhood. That period is often the key to shaping your character. Your dreams reflect the inferiority and longing in your subconscious. Plus You are paranoid about Ms. Yang, and Ms. Yang has become the best spokesperson for this desire."

Yan Haiqing frowned, shook his head and said, "No, no, teacher, you didn't understand what I meant. I am very satisfied with myself now. I know that I am a knife, sharp and perverted. The little girls in the office are all Saying this about me, I don’t want to get close to me, but I don’t mind. I also don’t want to be close to my subordinates. The sense of distance makes people stronger. They are too weak. If they want, I can leave them at any time. The closeness of this kind of people, What's the use of coming?

"I would have such a desire? It's a joke. But the problem is, I also became like this in my dream. She is too weak, longs for many emotions, and doesn't know how to fight for them. Will want to be like that, she is too well protected to carry anything."

When Yang Zixi heard Yan Haiqing judge "Yan Haiqing in the dream" like this, he felt absurdly delusional: Could it be that the past year or so he had experienced was all a dream of this Yan Haiqing?

Intermittently, he dreamed the life of Yan Haiqing in his previous life into a series, and thought he was suffering from a nervous breakdown.

Unexpectedly, Yan Haiqing's dream of his own life in the dream was also coherent and real.

Where is the dream?Zhuang Zhou dreamed of a butterfly, a butterfly dreaming of Zhuang Zhou?

"In the dream, she was actually very weak. I saw the two of them falling in love, as if they were watching a child play house." Yan Haiqing twitched the corners of his mouth, smiled contemptuously, and said, "But I can't look down on the other side. Their childishness, while peeping at them, draw a little energy to live from it. Look, you are so gentle."

Yan Haiqing looked at Yang Zixi with infatuated and tender eyes, as if looking at a dream, an unavailable toy, a scar, a life like a dream.

"Even if you are weak, you are so weak and gentle; even if you are naive, you are also so naive and gentle. I will put you there forever, so that you will not experience a little storm. I will kill me in my dream , she doesn't understand anything, even though you created me, I don't like her."

Yan Haiqing stared at Yang Zixi with a ferocious expression, as if he really wanted to rush into the dream and strangle that naive self to death.

Yang Zixi was frightened by such sick eyes, she never knew that Yan Haiqing in her dream would be so vicious.

Yang Zixi couldn't tell whether he was a dream or this Yan Haiqing was a dream?

Maybe both sides are true and mirror images of each other; maybe both sides are false, and human self-consciousness is the biggest lie in history.

Countless thoughts were mixed together in her mind, thinking of the brain in a vat for a while, thinking of the thing-in-itself for a while, and thinking of "I think, therefore I am" for a while.

In the end, all these illusory philosophical schools gradually fell silent, and only one thought became clearer: this Yan Haiqing is so cruel to himself, so why can he tolerate my "childishness and weakness"?

The psychiatrist waved his hand in front of Yan Haiqing's eyes, and said, "Miss Yan."

Only then did Yan Haiqing wake up from the paranoia of madness, and said with a smile, "I'm sorry, I just got sick."

The psychiatrist shook his head and said, "Miss Yan, you have to know that it's all fake, it's best not to put too much personal feelings on it."

Yang Zixi blurted out, "I'm not fake!"

Yan Haiqing shook his head, cruelly and decisively: "No, you are a fake."