I'm surviving in a love game

——"Why do you have this love."

——“Why is she only looking at you.”

--"Why……"

The little insects called jealousy crawled up the back in dense numbers, penetrated into the blood along the tiny pores, invaded the heart through the flowing blood, and gnawed at the internal organs inch by inch.

Atsushi Nakajima woke up from his sleep. This was the first time he had repeated the dream, but because of the excessive reality of the dream, even if he had experienced it many times, he would be on the verge of drowning.He sat up from the bed, sweating all over, the clothes covering his back were so soaked that they stuck to the protruding bones of his back stickyly, his breath was not regular, it could even be said to be abnormal.

Spreading out his palm, there were several conspicuous scars criss-crossing the pale palm. Judging from the hideous appearance, the wound should be deep and visible. Then he turned his hand over again, and the back of his hand was not much better. The wound occupies a large area of ​​skin.

This is the real him, he thought silently.

"It may hurt a little, if you can't stand it, you must tell me." The black-haired, almond-eyed girl held up his hand full of small wounds, and carefully disinfected and bandaged it.The soft warmth in her palm was as illusory as the bright moon hanging far away in the sky, but it was so elusive.

Atsushi Nakajima's dream was suddenly broken into by her, and brought out a future that he never thought of. He was kicked out of the orphanage and did not join the gangster.hand.party, but depended on her for life.

The girl reached out her hand to him who was hiding under the bus platform to hide from the rain, and at the same time shrunk to avoid the strange eyes of others around him.

She put away her umbrella, and shook off the raindrops on the umbrella intimately. The rain outside was pouring down, and the rain was splashing down, bringing up a mist of mist, which engulfed her face. She asked softly, "What's the matter?" Can I help you?"

help me.

That was the only thought in his heart, save him, no matter who it was, he didn't want to die like this.

"It's not enough to just live, um... how should I put it, it should be 'live well'." Hearing his answer, she smiled lightly, without the slightest concern in her eyes.

"Atsushi Nakajima? Let's call you Atsushi." Hearing the wailing sound from his stomach, she fumbled in her bag for a while, and took out a piece of chocolate. It's dinner time too."

Holding the chocolate in a hand full of scars, the icing was carefully peeled off, and the sweet taste of chocolate bloomed in the mouth.

So sweet.

So sweet it made me want to cry.

"What, what's the matter? Is it too sweet? Or are you allergic to nuts?" Faced with his sudden tears, she was at a loss and was about to take out a tissue.

In the dream, Atsushi Nakajima shook his head, his voice choked up, "No."

He didn't know which question he was denying her.

The trajectory of fate has been completely changed. Atsushi Nakajima, who should be the owner of the dream, can only stand aside, just like the audience watching a movie, forced to sit honestly in the auditorium, watching "Atsushi Nakajima" "Leave side by side with the girl.

Dreams may reflect inner thoughts, and continuous dreams can't help but make him think, or doubt.

Is this really a dream...?

If it is an illusory dream, is the emotion that jumps in the heart also false?

It was not until later that Atsushi Nakajima had to admit that he was clearly unwilling to regard it as a dream from the beginning.

Looking for reality in a dream will definitely be regarded as a mental disorder, right?However, if it is denied, overthrowing his existing ideas, it will definitely be extremely painful, right?

Excessively suppressing that blurred emotion will only get counterproductive results.

"What's wrong? You look sad." Quan Jinghua asked in a low voice after a mission.

Has it come to this point?

Even others can see that he is unusual. Izumi Kyoka's words broke through the hard shell of Atsushi Nakajima at a certain moment, allowing a glimpse of the surging emotions in his heart, but soon , Nakajima healed the crack neatly, he smiled softly but decisively, "It's nothing."

How could he tell it?Will others believe it?

I can't help but fall in love with the girl who is like a phantom in my dream.

"But..." Quan Jinghua wanted to say something more.

"It's okay." Don't continue this topic anymore, don't let him recall the beauty in his dream, the evil beast transformed from jealousy and hatred lurking in the dark has already geared up, and can't wait to pounce on him and devour him.

But Atsushi Nakajima forgot that even though he could restrain himself, he would never be able to control the dream.

Just like now, he was dragged into that dream again, and became the audience again, the most silent audience.

Ah, the "he" in the dream, the "Atsushi Nakajima" in the dream can actually show such a bright smile...?

"What do you want to eat at noon? Dun?" She walked out of the bathroom with a rag in her hand, her waist-length black hair was coiled up, and one or two strands fell on the neck where a small piece was exposed. Consciously raised the corners of the mouth.

——I am Atsushi Nakajima.

Atsushi Nakajima stood aside, and it took a long time before he looked away from her.

So what would the other one do?It must be smiling and saying "anything is fine".

The sunlight diffused in from the window, and there was gentle gold powder floating in the room, even her cheeks were dyed with a layer of gentle light.

jealous.

Jealousy.

Hate emerges, why can't it be him?why?

His hands were clenched tightly, and there was even a faint tendency to become a tiger. The fingertips that bordered humans and tigers became sharper and sharper, but until his fingertips pierced his palms, blood rushed out and dripped to the ground along the fingers. , he didn't let go of his palm.

They are all named by the name of Atsushi Nakajima, so what is the difference between him and "Atsushi Nakajima"?

Empty, as if the heart was always looking for a home, but when I dreamed of her for the first time, I just saw her back, the body was already one step ahead of reason, the lost hope swept through the whole body, the empty heart was filled, He also almost cried uncontrollably.

Weeping tremblingly.

"'The world in the book' and the 'world outside the book', even the possible world we live in, but at a certain moment, this possibility is enough to replace the real world after being selected by the 'book'." Mr. Dazai finished After these words, with a calm, approaching and happy smile, he opened his arms and fell to the tall building behind him.

Just enough to... replace the real world.

A fact as cold as the winter wind suddenly hit Atsushi Nakajima, if it is a world of possibilities.

Can the "replacement" also be realized by...?

He seemed to be holding onto something that was holding him up.

The world is changing rapidly, which means that the possibilities are close to infinite, but it doesn't matter, he just wants to determine which world has her existence.

He just wanted to find her.

Stability in other worlds?Not needed to be taken into consideration, just worlds of possibilities.

The possibility is that the meaning that has not happened yet means that it does not matter even if it disappears.

Is it a world without her again?He half closed his eyelids, the disappointment in his eyes could not be concealed.

This is how the virus started to spread.

If the past worlds were all possible worlds that didn’t need to exist, then this world must be special, right?The moment he entered this world, his soul was forced into a certain body, and most of his senses were deprived.

With the help of the eyes of the owner of the body, he can see the surrounding environment clearly.

It's a dilapidated alley.

The calm heart was shaken in the next second, and the unreachable girl in the dream suddenly jumped into the field of vision.

"Calm down... Are you hungry? We don't have any malicious intentions." The girl persuaded, "We don't have any malicious intentions. If you are hungry, you must be in a bad mood. It is understandable."

"Eh?"

The fingertips of the hand holding the glass sheet were white from the force, and there was a faint tendency to be scratched.

Breathing almost stopped, the lips of Atsushi Nakajima who was hiding under the body trembled slightly, and finally pulled out his body.He saw a smile like a spider's silk hanging from above.

Star Palace Shiori...

The name is the shortest mantra, and what is hidden behind the name is the increasingly clear past.

It's real, it's not a dream.

"Nakajima-kun? Want to have breakfast together?"

"I'm sorry, I may not be able to come back today, so let's have a meal with Nakajima-kun next time."

The "Nakajima Atsushi" he lived in was still so passive and forced, he could only stand quietly on the side, watching her walk away from him step by step.

It's unbearable.

It is only natural that a fragile child who has just escaped from the orphanage will lose to him in terms of body control, right?

The strange and unknown changes in the body are enough to make "Nakajima Atsushi" start to suspect whether there is a mental disorder.

However, it took a lot of effort to completely seize the body. The reason is that this world is too exclusive. As early as the moment he entered, the invisible law of causality in the world had already firmly locked him, and he tried everything to do it. way to expel him.

but.

but?

As long as you fooled the world, as long as——

Killing the original Atsushi Nakajima will do the trick.

Cracks began to appear in the sky over Sensoji Temple, and the world trembled at the violation of the rules.

In the distant Yokohama, in the staff dormitory.

Atsushi Nakajima, who was sleeping, was awakened the moment the phone turned on, his pupils dilated, he sat up abruptly, panting heavily, and lowered his eyes to look at his palms.

Is clean, no scars and blood on the palm.

After a long time, he laughed slowly, a silent smile appeared on his face.

"Clap-clack-"

One tear after another slid down his cheeks.

Finally, he was able to stand in front of her like that.

The author has something to say:

next chapter ending

It will feel very black mud orz