masculinity

When I realized it, I was stunned. The three souls and seven souls had already been scattered all over the place. The man Bai Yiyi had a crush on was me. I never thought that Bai Yiyi knew about Chicheng and me. Maybe she won't have the idea of ​​love for me, but Bai Yiyi is an exception.

"Bai Yiyi, don't do this."

I couldn't find any good comforting words for a while, so I could only say something perfunctory in embarrassment. It was actually nonsense, but it was much better than not saying anything.Bai Yiyi is a good girl, but I can't delay her. What I like is the same sex. Even if I am with her, I will still be unfaithful to him, because I still don't like her in my heart.

At the same time, I am also uncomfortable, so I can't accept her feelings even more. I am afraid that it will cause more entanglements. Bai Yiyi walked towards me slowly, staring at me with a pair of bright and clear eyes. More emotional, indifferent and quiet.

"Lin Xi, I like you, love you, it's my business alone." Bai Yiyi said, the crystal clear tears gushed out from her star pupils, poured down, and flowed down the pink cheeks, Then slide off.She sobbed and continued, "Lin Xi, do you know? From the moment I met you, I have feelings for you, but you like men, so I dare not tell you, I am afraid you will reject me."

"Yiyi, I am not your love, I will only hurt you! Let go."

I don't want to be too decisive, I'm afraid I will hurt her self-esteem, so I try to talk to her in a persuasive tone, I'm really not her happiness, she needs a responsible person who will protect her A man comes to accompany and protect, and this man is definitely not me...

"My love for you is not a kind of hurt, but a kind of long-lost warmth. I need you to give me warmth, Lin Xi, I know you are just brothers and sisters to me. I should thank you, but I just can't help wanting You belong to me, and you can stay by my side." Bai Yiyi's words seemed to have been buried in her heart for a long time, and she had the courage to tell me all at once.

"I will believe in you, Lin Xi, one day I will make you fall in love with me...don't let me give up, I won't, I, Bai Yiyi, have only loved you since I was a child, you are my first love and the first A man who gives me warmth."

Bai Yiyi is no longer the weak girl I knew in my eyes. There is a persistent and strong air around her.She told me word by word how she liked me and what my status was in her heart.

Am I the first man to give her warmth?first love?I was even more confused, Bai Yiyi has never dated a boyfriend at such an age?Impossible, is there no one to chase after her so beautiful?I am not as good-looking as her, and I have been chased by others, so I don't believe that Bai Yiyi has no one.

"Why bother? I like men, and this kind of thing can't be changed, let alone I can't hurt you."

I almost tried my best to talk to Bai Yiyi about the stakes. It's fine for her to like me, there's nothing wrong with that.But the point is that I don't like her, even if she is with me, will she be happy?Will I be happy again?

Marriage nowadays is not about getting married when two people like each other. Most of them get married when they reach a certain age. That's why there is the current divorce rate. What's more, Bai Yiyi and I still don't like each other. The days to come will be fine, this is a lifetime, and I don't want to live like this.Knowing that I won't be very happy in the future, how could I promise someone who loves me and who I don't.

"I just like you! It doesn't matter if you don't like me, so please respect my liking!"

Bai Yiyi's persistent eyes conveyed to me an irresistible obsession, and even being looked at by her, I wanted to step back and escape from this forced gaze.

My voice became weak, and a soft voice sounded, "Bai Yiyi, I like Chi Cheng, I have liked him since I was a child, you don't know about this, hehe...even Chi Cheng doesn't know, how do you know? "

As soon as I spoke, the room became much quieter. Bai Yiyi and I were as quiet as a paradise in the depths. We could hear each other's breathing fast and slow. Bai Yiyi clenched his hands, and I continued to talk about my The feelings that have been hidden deep in my heart for a long time.

I have never mentioned such words to anyone, and I have no way of saying them. The subtle love infected me like time, and I couldn't find out how much I loved Chi Cheng.

"I have always only liked him. I lost my memory when I was a child. I don't remember what he looks like. Then I forgot for a short time. For most of my youth, I forgot him, but he didn't come like a prince or a knight in a fairy tale. Protect me, but go far away..." I paused for a few seconds to gather my emotions, and then continued to tell the stories that I recalled not long ago.

"You don't need to rush to say anything, just listen to me first." Bai Yiyi wanted to interject something, but I stopped it, and if I don't say it now, I'm afraid I won't say it in the future.

"Until that year in high school, he appeared unexpectedly. I was young and green at that time, and I was still in amnesia. I couldn't remember him at all, and Chi Cheng couldn't remember my appearance. I just liked watching him very much, and I didn't know until later I am gay, and then I started a dark youthful crush. At that time, I just wanted to secretly like him, but my desire to possess Chi Cheng became more and more intense. Later, I got close to him, and I was hurt by myself. The girl he likes, and the most ridiculous thing is that that girl is my best friend, and I actually agreed to help him chase that girl..."

Speaking of this, my heart ached, my whole body trembled slightly, and a sense of powerlessness spread throughout my body.

"Lin Xi, stop talking! Enough is enough! I don't want to hear... I don't want to listen!"

With a painful expression on Bai Yiyi's face, she growled at me, tell me not to say it, don't say it... But I just want to destroy Bai Yiyi's feelings for me, I don't want myself to become another Chicheng, I once did If you like someone like Bai Yiyi now, that person doesn't like you.

It is precisely because I have experienced that kind of pain and felt exhausted physically and mentally, so I don't want Bai Yiyi to taste that kind of feeling again, long-term pain is worse than short-term pain!

"Later, I couldn't stand the hurt from Chicheng. I agreed to my parents to go abroad, thinking that I could live a peaceful life after leaving the place where Chicheng lived, but the result was not satisfactory. Chicheng even knew that I had lost my memory, so he also found me. The school." I calmed down, not letting my eyes get wet, I am a man now, and now I am in front of a girl, I must not cry.

"Told me everything. I was a little confused at the time. I couldn't believe what Chicheng said was true. Later, I tried hard to think about it, but I came up with some scattered memory fragments. After a week, and then a month, the memory became clearer and clearer to me. I finally remembered, but Chi Cheng left again, so I still pretended nothing happened, and I didn't tell him, I recovered my memory."

"You said that he left you and hurt you so much, why are you still with him? Why am I inferior to him? At least I like you, I really love you!"

Bai Yiyi confides her feelings to me tearfully, she doesn't understand why I choose Chicheng, it's not important, I just want her to give up on me...

"I just like him, whether it's gentle or cruel, I still like him. I like him like this. I'm just such a ****. You like me? Are you not afraid of me like this?"

In order to let her leave, I would rather let her despise me and disgust me, as long as she leaves and gives up on me, I can do whatever I want!

"Lin Xi! You make me sick!" Bai Yiyi angrily pushed me away, and then ran towards the door. I felt mixed feelings in my heart instantly. Many emotions were mixed together, and I couldn't tell whether it was bitter or sweet.

There may be a bit of relief hidden in the complexity, but even so, I think Bai Yiyi may have begun to despair of me, and I may have broken the perfect image of Lin Xi in her heart.

In this way, she will not like me anymore, and she will find a man who can love her and take care of her to replace me in her heart, because I don't believe that someone will always love someone who doesn't love herself, just Because she hasn't met the person who changed her heart yet.

I heard the sound of Bai Yiyi opening the door, and I turned around to look at her with some heartache. After I turned around, I saw another person at the door, a well-tailored man in a well-fitting suit—Chi Cheng!

There was no wave on his indifferent cheeks, he looked at me calmly without any surprise, and met my gaze, I blinked guiltyly, afraid that he would hear what I said to Bai Yiyi just now.

Bai Yiyi opened the door and saw Chi Cheng, she was obviously surprised and stopped running out, I can only see Bai Yiyi's back, I don't know what kind of eyes she is looking at Chi Cheng at this moment, is it resentment?still resentful...

It is superfluous to think about these things now. Now that everything has been clarified, who cares about who treats whom?I care about the meaning, and I can't decide who is good to whom. It's their business that they like me, and it doesn't seem to have much to do with me.

"Please." Chi Cheng shifted his gaze to Bai Yiyi in front of him, with a sneer on the corner of his mouth, in my opinion, it was a twitchy mouth corner.He actually bastardly gestured to Bai Yiyi for her to go out...

"Chicheng! Enough is enough!" I shouted angrily at Chicheng at the door.

Bai Yiyi disappeared at the door as quickly as possible after my words fell to the ground. She made the guilt in my heart even more painful. I agreed not to hurt her, and now she is the most hurt.

"Lin Xi! Tsundere? You don't even want your husband anymore? If you like me, just tell me! Don't hold back, it's bad, my husband feels bad..." Chi Cheng walked towards me as he spoke in a strange way, and then stretched out his claws under my chin caress.