masculinity

Day by day, after the autumn of Canada’s red maple leaves, it began to enter the winter of white snowflakes. I also got used to Finn often sitting next to me in class. Finn still abided by our agreement and never provoked me again. However, I occasionally invited Bai Yiyi and I to dinner, and then asked us to go out for an outing. I gradually got to know Finn, a rich man, and when I heard his story, I turned my previous resentment towards him into sympathy and comfort.

I never thought that Finn's mother would be a bar girl, and I always thought that his parents should be famous figures in Canada, but in the end...

Finn was the illegitimate child of Finn's father who had sex with Finn's mother when he was drunk in a bar. At that time, his mother was working in a bar and met his father who was drunk to the point of unconsciousness. His father was drunk alone. Falling down in the member room of the bar, I saw a slender and graceful woman in a haze.

The man who was just drunk couldn't stand the provocation of his body, and the manic anger in his heart gathered in his forehead. His body had endured the pain for a long time, and now he could finally release it. So his father used the strength of alcohol to suppress Fei. En's mother.

How could his mother, a woman, resist a 1.8-meter man, and she finally became pregnant with Finn. Due to the rules of the family, Finn's father did not dare to take the initiative to marry his mother, and dared not tell the family, so he could only use The money was sent.

His father sent money to his mother and child regularly every month for them to eat, drink and drink. This kind of life lasted for 3 years, and it didn't last long. His grandma found out, and then Finn's mother got married to a domestic dog. With the ending like a romantic drama of a wealthy family, he was cruelly dumped by his father, and Finn was taken to his father's house by his grandmother and father.

Because Fein's mother couldn't accept it, and because she didn't have much money, she contracted a serious illness and was a little weak. Four years later, on the day of her death, she couldn't see the child she was thinking of, and she lay in her bed with regret. In fact, if it weren't for the young Finn, his mother might have died without a place to bury her.

The 7-year-old Finn came to see his mother secretly. He hadn’t seen his mother for a long time, so he couldn’t help but sneak out. He also used the pocket money he had accumulated over the years to buy fruit chocolates for his mother. He remembered that his mother liked to eat them. Chocolate, but when he opened the door, he saw that the house was barren, and he felt a sense of desolation. This place used to be the warmest place for him, but today it is indeed a desolate and quiet place. The young Finn could not see his mother. He yelled into the house, "Mom?"

I haven't called these two words for a long time, and it's so awkward to call them all at once. There is no warmth and intimacy with my mother in those years. There is an invisible wall between my mother and him, which is not the same as before.

The young Finn didn't get a response from his mother, so he ran to his mother's bedroom to look for it. The bedroom door of the cubicle was pushed open with his little hand.

In his little eyes appeared a pure white woman lying on the bed with disheveled hair, motionless.Quiet, like the Sleeping Beauty in the fairy tales he had heard, Jingmei lay there peacefully, as if waiting for someone to kiss her to wake her up.

There was a happy smile on the corner of Finn's mouth, and he trotted towards his mother's bedside. He stood on the bedside and looked at the "sleeping" mother. After a while, he stood on tiptoe, bent his little body, and leaned over. He lowered his head and kissed his mother's side face.

What Fein felt was not the warmth his mother gave him when he was dragged across the road, nor the warm body temperature when his mother hugged him to sleep, and the way his mother was lying on the bed so cold.

Little Finn, he warmly helped his mother tuck the corner of the quilt to make her warmer. He murmured softly in his small mouth, "Mom is not cold, Finn helps you cover the quilt, the baby guards mother, Stay with mom."

The mother lying on the bed didn't respond to such a caring little Finn, and she didn't even move her body. The poor and innocent Finn didn't even know that her mother had passed away.

Fortunately, a kind neighbor came to visit. Neighbor Lingda saw that the door was open, so she came in curiously. Like Finn, she went to the bedroom when she saw that there was no one in the living room.

"Fin, oh?! You're back? What's wrong with your mother?" Linda saw Finn standing by the side of the bed, and was surprised why Finn came back. Didn't she hear that Finn was picked up by that rich man? up?Linda noticed Mama Finn's closed eyes again.

"Shh! Mom is sleeping." Little Finn made a sensible gesture to ask Linda to keep her voice down, like a little adult, Linda smiled kindly and walked to Finn's side.

She asked Finn in a low voice, "What's wrong with your mother? Tell auntie." Linda saw the pale, bloodless face of the woman on the bed with a stiff expression, and felt something was wrong.

"Mom, she's very cold, her body is icy cold, I'm covering her with a quilt." Finn innocently said, looking at Linda with big bright eyes.

Linda's face changed suddenly when she heard it, and she quickly reached out to touch Mama Fein's forehead. Just as she touched her forehead, Linda's brows and eyes were tightly wrinkled, and then her pupils shrank with shock.

She put her trembling hand on Mother Fein's nostril, and then withdrew her hand suddenly, her face was only pale with horror, and there was no other superfluous expression.

Linda didn't tell Finn that his mother was dead, and asked someone to take him back to her home. Finn only remembered that Aunt Linda said that his mother had gone far away.

It wasn't until Finn went to high school that Aunt Linda told him that he really wanted to. Since then, Finn often went to his mother's grave alone, and stayed there alone until the sun went down, refusing to leave.

He started hating his father!He hates everyone in the family now, but he doesn't reveal anything, spends money lavishly, often stays out at night, learns to smoke and drink, is full of scandals, and has learned to play with men...

Fein's father also felt ashamed of his son, so he didn't say anything more. Everything was tacit, as long as Fein didn't threaten his status and power, it seemed that he could be forgiven.

These stories about Finn are all told by several friends of Finn. We often go out together. They found out that Finn likes me. Together, Bai Yiyi, who went with me, was often dismissed by them. I smiled bitterly at their behavior. Don’t think that there is any excuse to be alone when you tell me about Fern’s childhood. It is said that it is sugar-coated, so I don't eat it.

Bai Yiyi is unwilling to leave every time, and she also finds various reasons to stay with me in embarrassment. I am funny watching them push and push back and forth. Yiyi is afraid that they want to pick her up, so she refuses so hard Agree to their invitation.

In order to reassure Bai Yiyi, I comforted her and said, "Go ahead, call me if you need anything." After hearing this, Bai Yiyi gave me a reassuring look, and then went with some of Finn's friends .

Looking at the backs of the few of them leaving, Fein's magnetic male voice rang in my ears, "Why would Bai Yiyi live with you?"

I shook my head and smiled, "She has no place to live, so I'll help her."

"Can't you see that she likes you?" Finn raised his eyebrows and asked me, as if his eyes could see through everything, I didn't believe it.

How could Bai Yiyi like me? Last time he bought a wallet for her boyfriend. There is no basis for Fein to say that. "He has a boyfriend. Mind your own business."

I muttered something, thinking that Fein didn't hear it, but this guy can hear such a small voice, it's ridiculous, did he hear it in the bar that time, and he deliberately pretended not to hear it?definitely is!

"What do I care about? I'm concerned about the number of my rivals in love." The provocative tone, a bit ruffian, cynical and scumbag tone, made me want to punch him.

"Hey! Stop it! It's your business that you like me, but I don't want to hear it, unless you want to break the contract..." I remind someone of the promise we made, don't forget...

"Lin Xi, why do you still remember that incident? It's been so long..." Fein suddenly started to act like a rascal to me, looking at me like a child.

"Of course I remember!" No matter what happens to Fein, I will not be shaken at all. I can't accept someone who loves me and someone I don't love.This is a matter of principle, not a law of long-term love, that kind of thing is not what I want, it is better to lack than to abuse!

"...Okay." Fein was disappointed and discouraged, and sat down on the ground on one side with a listless face. Looking at his tall and straight back, the scene of little Fein standing next to his mother appeared in his eyes, and he thought it was so cute. , and the current Finn is very different.

I began to feel the heart of the Virgin, sympathizing with how Fein has lived these years, is it lonely without a mother, and I have to face the indifference and strangeness of the family.

"Hey! Lin Xi, what are you thinking?"

I was just thinking about it, and I was startled by a tree branch that fell out of the blue. I heard the sound and looked at me. I saw Finn looking at me and laughing. He threw me a tree branch in boredom.

"I miss you being abused!" I blurted out without thinking.

I thought that Fein had been tortured badly by those rich and powerful families all these years, and in the end he blurted out what he was thinking in a moment of anger.

But Fein didn't understand it that way, he was too dirty, he thought wrongly, and actually thought in the direction of abuse, it's like a dog can't spit out ivory!But what can I do with him?The most humble people are invincible!He has surpassed the realm of invincibility!

"Are you going to decide to counterattack and abuse me? Okay! I'll take it off and wait for you!"

Fein looked at me with an innocent face, what the hell, how can such a shameless man be so brazen and not ashamed to speak, counterattack?abuse?off?wait for me? !

I couldn't use normal human language to describe the man in front of me. I was at a loss for words, and I didn't know how to reply to Finn's shocking words.

"I was speechless and continued to stare at him and gave him a big blank stare. It seemed that the agreement between me and him was not enough. There was an omission, hey! Mistake...