masculinity

I shouldn't have promised Yue Jiaqi to come to Anxiang today. Seeing them smiling so happily has already covered up my secret pain. At this moment, I am like a stray cat that no one wants, curled up on the sofa, motionless Staring at Chi Cheng and Chi Yajing.

You are engaged, why did you call me, an irrelevant person, and who initiated this event?I was puzzled.

In this way, I was dragged to Anxiang in a daze, but I returned with internal injuries. Even I felt that no one was more ridiculous than me.

They were happy and drunk, a few men had one drink after another, the girls were playing the simplest truth or dare, I don’t like drinking when I’m lonely, one drink is my definition of wine, I don’t even know how to play games, Because I can't tell anyone my secret, so I just kept silent and watched them happy quietly...

On the way, I noticed that Yunlong looked towards me several times, and every time I wanted to meet his eyes, he would quickly turn his head away to look at Chi Yajing, who had a deep expression.

Yunlong, what do you want to prove to me?Are you telling me that you can still be better without me?Then let me tell you, you won, your goal has been achieved, and I know you are doing well now.

Chi Cheng drank too much wine, and he started to retch when he was drunk. Seeing this, Chi Yajing got up and prepared to dissuade Chi Cheng, but she was almost at Chi Cheng's side, but someone stepped on him first, and Yue Jiaqi supported Chi Cheng at the right time, laughing Looking at Chi Yajing who was on the side, she said with a smile: "Sister Jing, let me come, you can play with the senior."

It's the first time I've seen Yue Jiaqi like this. She usually doesn't take the initiative to show others that it's good. She is as proud as her. In front of love, she looks so humble. I feel distressed. Why am I not such a person? , the best in studies, the pearls and ingots at home, and ultimately not worthless in love.

Seeing Chi Cheng like this, Yue Jiaqi volunteered to say to Chi Cheng's cousin Chi Yajing: "Sister Jing, why don't you keep playing, and I'll send Chi Cheng back."

When everyone heard this, they all knew Yue Jiaqi's small thoughts in their stomachs, they didn't speak, and became quiet, waiting for Chi Yajing's answer, and I was waiting too, she probably wouldn't let a girl send Chi Cheng back, it's just unreasonable.Besides, what if something happens, maybe, and Chi Cheng is drunk and unconscious again now.

Chi Yajing looked at Yunlong beside her, and spoke a few seconds later, "Well, yes, the car is outside, just tell the driver, and be careful on the road."

It was as simple as that, Yue Jiaqi helped Chi Cheng go away, seeing their backs were a little blurred. ...

The preparations for this party are coming to an end, and I can finally be relieved. I talked to Chu Keke and the others, and I am going to the bathroom. Now only Chu Keke and those people are left in the room. Of course, Yunlong and Chi Yajing are also Now, going to the bathroom is just an excuse, and there is a separate bathroom in the box.Because I feel that if I continue to stay here and watch them show their affection, I might as well find a quiet place to lick my emotional pain alone.I suddenly remembered that I promised to call my dad and check the time. I was taken aback and thought, "I'm dead... I'm dead, my dad will definitely not let me go, it's already 10 o'clock." I haven't called yet, my dad must be going to be angry.

My father's furious appearance came to my mind at the right time, and I hurried to the corridor, and found an empty box, through the narrow door, I saw the goose yellow light inside.

I called my dad right outside the box, and my dad answered the phone. To my surprise, he didn't yell at me for the first time, and even reminded me warmly.

"It's over, come back soon."

"Ah."

My dad was unusual, so I couldn't find anything to say back to him for a while, I just hesitated for a while, there was nothing to say, and then I said a few more words, and I hung up the phone.

I just went to the bathroom to wash my face, so that I can wake up a little bit, otherwise my face will look like someone owes me money.

Or just go to the bathroom in this box. No one will disturb me quietly. When I opened the half-closed door, I heard a girl’s soft voice coming from the room in the box to my ears. I stopped. I stepped down, turned around and went back to the room. Through the frosted glass, I probably saw the bodies of two people. The flesh-colored bodies appeared in my sight. I naturally understood what was going on?I want to run away now more than I was in the box just now. I don't like to see such a scene, especially now, I just want to be quiet and don't want anyone to disturb me.

Holding the handle of the box door, I slowly closed the door. I thought God would take pity on me and would not break my heart again. Unfortunately, I thought everything was right. I was about to close the door and prepare to leave Anxiang Here, a huge blow hit me, who was fragile, without warning.

"Chi Cheng, don't... Take it easy..."

Chicheng? !All of a sudden, I was shocked by the body that I left. Is the man and woman inside Chi Cheng?I can only speculate that way, then?Who will be the girl in it?

It suddenly dawned on me that just now Chicheng vomited from drinking, and Yue Jiaqi said she would send him home, now...

why treat me like this! ?Where did I go wrong, fate always played tricks on me one after another, am I wrong?Didn't I just fall in love with a boy of the same gender as me?ah!

My heart hurts so badly that I can’t breathe. This feeling is like someone holding a knife to twist my heart repeatedly. There are bursts of throbbing pain. Unspeakable despair enveloped my whole body. It's as heavy as lead water, and I can't move my heart that wants to escape.

Chicheng's masculine breath was heavy and rough, like the excitement and excitement of a beast that had been imprisoned for a long time being released, Yue Jiaqi was still talking carelessly like that.

I can't take it anymore, I really can't take it anymore!With tears all over my face that had been so cold, I closed the door weakly and gently. The men and women inside the door continued, and their voices and figures began to appear in my mind, overlapping and crisscrossing.

Since I don't belong to your world, why should I bother trying to squeeze into the world where I don't have a place? That's called self-indulgence, and I can't blame others. I don't belong there, but I think that if I go in, there will be me Location, yes, I came in, only to find out that my location was a clown-playing jack-of-all-trades.

I wish you happiness and grow old, I will not bother you again, Chicheng, you said, I have done it for you, but why did you lie to me that you like men? If you didn't lie to me, then you are now How to explain, no see!people i used to love...

Instead of going back to the box, I sent a short text message to Chu Keke, "I'm going back first, there is something urgent at home."

Sitting on the bus going home, silently watching the neon lights flickering outside the car window, and the tail lights of the flowing traffic flashing slightly, it seemed to be talking to me, but I couldn’t understand, it was so late, and there were not many people in the car , Only the sound of the car engine and sudden brakes remained silent, which I habitually ignored, and I was indifferent to these.

After that, I deliberately alienated Yue Jiaqi and Chi Cheng, I don't know why I alienated them, I hate them?I blame them?I thought about it carefully, maybe not, I should be afraid that when I look at them, I will think of my unbearable love, different love, unspeakable love, seeing them, I will only feel like a monster, actually like men, In the past few weeks, when I go to school, I will seriously review and do the questions. In my spare time, I will lock myself in the room, or hide in a place where no one is listening to the song.

I'm about to graduate, and Chi Cheng and I may not see each other in the future. Didn't he say that he will find a girlfriend after the college entrance examination?That should be Yue Jiaqi, otherwise who else...

I alienated them, and they didn't think there was anything wrong. Every time they came to talk to me, I pretended to work hard on the questions and didn't look at them. No matter who they were, I was the same, even Chu Keke was the same.I don't plan to apply to Nanxi University anymore, because there are Yunlong and Chi Yajing there, so I choose to escape. The important thing is that I heard that Chicheng is going to that university, so Yue Jiaqi will definitely go too.

What a good age, there is such a person that I love, and it happens that that person also loves me, and then work together, slowly move towards the siege of love, and then grow old, the love that is natural is always love and hate.

The ringing of the college entrance examination bell is also a watershed for us as students. Who will do well in the future, and who will be the superior leader in the future? This is what teachers think in the eyes of teachers. Good prospects, thousands of years of traditional thinking about official career culture have paralyzed generations of Chinese people.

I didn't take the college entrance examination because I decided to leave and go to a place where I don't know anyone. I started my new life, met strangers, and then became friends, shaping a brand new Lin Xi and being a man.

Don't go to recall the past, those are just a fleeting moment, only memory, why not live well, let yourself become better and better, and you can meet a better self in the future.

I went abroad. In fact, after that party, when I came home, my dad told me that because the inspections were strict recently, my dad was afraid of getting into trouble. After all, no one in the officialdom is absolutely clean, as the saying goes Said, often walking by the river, there is no way to not get wet shoes, I believe that my father did not embezzle anything, at most he received some gifts.

Dad said: "Lin Xi, your dad and I are getting old, and I don't want to stay there for a long time. Your mother and I have already completed the Canadian immigration process, and we didn't notify you. I hope you don't blame us. We are also doing it for your own good."

While listening, I looked at my father's face seriously, and suddenly noticed that my father was old, his face had many wrinkles, and the beard around his lips became so conspicuous.Dad continued: "Your school has been arranged, so you don't have to go for the college entrance examination. You can go back to school to go through the formalities, and we will leave at the end of June."

Aside from the accident, I had nothing to miss. The relatives I cared about were all by my side, and they didn't leave. Naturally, I went abroad with my dad freely.