masculinity

Youth is as contradictory and entangled as doing bad things. It is obviously very exciting and exciting, but after masturbating, I feel deeply guilty.

This is the case for me. In my youth, I had a crush on someone, a man, and I was also a man.

This kind of tangled relationship makes me only live in the gloomy little corner of my secret love, relying on secretly looking at his silhouette and back to live every day, although there is a kind of sadness that I can’t get, I feel a kind of happiness from it guilt.

He is my classmate with a nice name, called Chicheng, sitting in front of me, tall, the same height as me, with distinct facial features, comparable to crooked nuts in Europe and America, tall and straight The bridge of the nose and the eyes are as deep as a pool of deep water, which together with the thin and affectionate lips create a charming appearance.

I, Lin Xi, a famous figure in the school, it can be said that there is no one in Xinghai Middle School who does not know me.

The story between me and him started from the fact that I like him and I want to be masochistic by him. I spent countless nights alone, in the dormitory of the school, holding certain utensils and imagining that he was He loves me very much; at home, I comfort myself and sprint to the clouds, and I call his name in my mouth...

In reality, he regards me as a buddy, but in my heart he regards him as my love, as my man, and I just want to be with him.

Chicheng, I am willing to be locked in your city by you. I will live for you all my life, and I only love you!

This is my personal love, which girl Chicheng likes, I will help him to chase after him, what flavor of candy he likes to eat, I will always secretly prepare it and put it in my pocket.

He always treats everyone with an air of arrogance and indifference, and he was also cold towards me at the beginning, until after that time...

In fact, I have serious contempt for Chicheng's arrogance. I have never seen a boy who is more indifferent and taciturn than him. He doesn't like to talk and does his own way.

Ah!Even so, I still can't find a reason to ignore his existence, and even he is becoming more and more important in my world, seriously affecting my study.

Now I understand that when you deliberately want to forget someone or something, the result is that the deeper you remember it.

Is this the opposite of everything?I don't know, I just know that I can't forget him now, unless there is someone who disturbs me more than him, and I think the chances of that will be very small.

After all, I am not the kind of person who loves the new and dislikes the old, and the characteristics of Scorpio are not covered.

I finally said the first sentence to Chi Cheng on a certain Tuesday, just three words...

"Please be quiet."

His voice was a bit lacklustre, but he still managed to achieve the desired effect, and he didn't say a word, he just told me with his actions that he was willing to obey my wishes.

The fifth class that afternoon was originally a math class, but the math old man suddenly had something to do, and I happened to be the math class representative who was resented by many people for collecting homework.

So I have to play the role of my class representative. I wanted the students to study by themselves. After all, everyone doesn't have a strong feeling for mathematics, and I don't want everyone to have any more prejudice against me.

The head teacher may have received a call from the math old man, and he came to the classroom at a very bad time, which completely disrupted my thoughts.

"Lin Xi, the math teacher asked you to supervise everyone to do a set of small tests. This is the paper that the math teacher gave me just now, you can send it out."

Lao Ban handed over more than 50 thick papers with one hand, and I had no choice but to accept them, not daring to say anything. Lao Ban is a devil.

It is Laoban's usual style to leave after giving orders. He doesn't like to hear others resist his decision, and to resist writing a 5000-word proposal first, this is what he often tells us.

According to the requirements of the old class, I distributed the test papers to the students. During the process, there were always a few troublemakers complaining to me that this is not true, and that is not true.

I can't say it, I was wrong if I said it, and I was wrong if I didn't say it, so I decided not to say it, just smiled and said nothing.

Because a smart person will not accuse a person who executes an order randomly.

Doing test papers requires quietness, but there are always rustling voices in the classroom, mixed with some disharmonious factors such as eating and snickering.

I said it no less than 20 times, and half of the class had passed. I kept warning them to be quiet, and I hadn't even completed half of my own test papers.

Every time I saw him, I felt a strong desire to talk to him in the past.I didn't even know what this feeling meant.

Every time I look up from the test paper, I can see that Chi Cheng is either sleeping, or secretly looking at someone in a daze.

But this time, he was on the phone, and the voice was a bit loud...

"Can't you just not cause trouble for me?" From the voice, he was very angry and angry. At first, I pretended that I didn't hear him. He was just one of so many people talking, and there was not much more than him.

The whole class became quiet all of a sudden. When the students heard Chicheng's roar, they all lowered their heads in a sensible way to do their own test papers. Even the troublemakers in the class were quite calm.

I don't know who Chicheng is calling with or what made him so angry. This is the first time I've seen him like this, and it's also the first time I've heard such a tone.

But still can't reduce the feeling I have for him...

It's impossible for me to ignore him talking alone, and the anger and anger are getting bigger and bigger.

I walked to Chicheng, not far away, he was right in front of me.

"Please be quiet."

The voice was calm and powerful, but I was still a little uncomfortable. I always hoped that the first sentence I said to him would be the other three words.

Chicheng noticed that I was standing by his desk, and looked up at me from the corner of his eye. The delicate silhouette, coupled with the deep and ethereal eyes, had such an aura that I could only hold my hands tightly, waiting for his answer.

To my surprise, I thought that Chicheng would not ignore me, and he still did his own thing. He said to the phone: "Wait for me at the school gate in the afternoon!"

He glanced at me meaningfully, then hung up the phone call quickly, stuffed the phone into his pocket, picked up a pen and quickly wrote on the test paper.

His indifferent disapproval made it even more obvious that I was not sympathetic, and now I was embarrassed, so I had no choice but to return to my seat in silence and bury my head in writing my test paper.

About 15 minutes later, I heard Chicheng say, "I'm done, remember to hand it in for me."

When I looked up, he had already left the classroom, and I couldn't see him. He just said it to his deskmate.

Well, the whole class is used to Chicheng's style of work, and he always does not follow the rules. I heard that his family is the richest real estate developer in the city. I don't know which one it is. Anyway, his family is rich. up.

What's more, I usually don't pay attention to any current social affairs. My father and mother don't care about me. They believe in my self-control ability. In fact, they never tutor me in my studies.

When school was over, when I passed by the playground, I heard the sound of someone talking, and I approached it curiously.

"Why is he here?"

I was a little surprised when I saw Chicheng on the playground, and couldn't help talking to myself, I heard him say that he was waiting for him at the school gate before, why is he in the playground?

There were several boys with Chi Cheng, all of similar stature, and shorter than Chi Cheng.

"Brother Cheng, what if we injure someone later? It won't be... be arrested, right?"

Behind Chi Cheng, a boy asked submissively.

"Then are you still going?"

Chi Cheng didn't have any expression, he was cold, showing no displeasure at all, but the words he said exuded an aura that could not be resisted.

When I heard the hurtful words, I guessed that they were going to fight later, and I began to feel that this is not good. It is not good for students to gather crowds to make trouble like this. If the school finds out, Chicheng will definitely be expelled.

I want to go over and persuade Chicheng not to fight, no matter what the reason is.

I walked up to them and was about to speak when I was spotted.

"Isn't this Lin Xixueba?!" One of the boys recognized me and said to the others.

The boy who spoke was not from our class, but from the class next door, because some of them looked familiar, and the others were all my classmates.

"Why are you here?" Chi Cheng looked at me expressionlessly and asked.

With cold eyes, I couldn't see the meaning in his eyes clearly, it was pitch black, there was no revealing emotion on his face, it was indifferent.

Several other boys also looked at me curiously, and their eyes all fell on my face. Being stared at by so many people made me feel uncomfortable all over.

"It's nothing, I passed by the playground and heard someone talking, so I came to have a look."

I still didn't have the courage to say, I knew they were going to fight, but I was scared, so I pretended I didn't know anything.

"Brother Cheng! He must have heard it." The boy who was afraid of death just now seemed to want to settle accounts with me, afraid that I would hear it, and then told the student office in the school.

I smiled sarcastically in my heart, I am indeed a guy who is greedy for life and afraid of death, no wonder Chi Cheng said that just now, hey, you can only be a subordinate who runs errands.

I still made a lot of fake plays on the surface, I was afraid that if I stopped Chicheng's actions, he would dislike me, and then I would have no chance to get closer to him.

"You can leave now, we still have something to do." Chi Cheng coldly issued the order to evict the guest, and I had no choice but to leave his area slowly by myself.

I got farther and farther away from them little by little, and vaguely heard them all talking.

"He must have heard it, Brother Cheng."

"Brother Cheng... yes."

"Forget it, we're leaving now."

I heard Chicheng's voice in the last sentence, and the warm temperature hit my ears.

I don't know what's wrong?I actually followed Chicheng and the others to an abandoned site in the suburbs.

Chicheng and they rode motorcycles, and I hailed a taxi and followed them. When I arrived, I realized that this place was deserted like a remote area.

"Huh? Where are they?"

I got out of the car, but I didn't see any of them. I looked around, but still no one saw a figure. When I entered the venue, a noisy sound came from the back of the venue. I quickened my pace and followed the sound to find the past.

"Chicheng! Don't think that we are afraid of you because you dominate Xinghai Middle School. We Zeren Middle School are not easy to mess with!"

"Heh! Fatty Lan, don't show off your verbal prestige, single or group?"

Chicheng didn't like to talk nonsense with his fat blue man who looked so sexy, and he just said, heads-up or group.

I like this kind of boldness. Although I have never fought since I was a child, I am still a good student. I have no interest in fighting. Hehe, I am actually afraid that I will lose...

I heard a group of people in Chicheng talking one by one, it seemed that the blue fat man wanted to scare off Chicheng and the others with words, and was delaying the fight.

Too much nonsense, and it seems that the blue fat man is not very manly, too ink-stained.It might be that Chicheng didn't like to listen to the ink marks of those people, so he walked up to Fatty Lan by himself.

Lan Fatty saw Chi Cheng walking over, and was still talking nonsense. Chi Cheng inadvertently, Chi Cheng first slapped Lan Fatty, then left hooked him, and then hit him again. Uppercut.

Fatty Lan was caught off guard, and he was beaten to the ground before the fight started.

If it was a normal fight, I think Lan Fatty and Chi Cheng should be tied, unless there is any accident, just like the current accident.

Fatty Lan is dizzy now, with paint on his face, lying on the ground and shouting angrily: "Brothers! Why are you still standing there?! Give it to me! Fatty Lan got up from the ground in embarrassment. He patted the dirt on his body, and touched the place where he was beaten in pain.

How can he care about these things now? As the boss, when has he been in such a mess? He didn't expect that Chi Cheng would dare to attack secretly. It's too treacherous!Thinking of the situation where Chi Cheng beat him just now, Fatty Lan couldn't help cursing:

"Son of a bitch, if I don't play you to death today, I won't be a blue fat man!"

When Fatty Blue's brothers saw their boss beaten to the ground by Chi Cheng, all of them showed surprise expressions. When did their boss receive such treatment.

Four or five people trotted over to stand next to the fat blue man's boss. After a thin boy whispered something to the fat blue man, I saw the fat blue man twitching the corners of his mouth fleetingly, making a wicked smile.

After the blue fat man snapped his fingers, I suddenly heard the surrounding chaos. I was so frightened that I quickly shrank behind a pile of sundries, and a large group of people jumped out of nowhere, probably more than 10 people.

That group of people rushed towards Chicheng with machetes. I was so frightened that my body became stiff for a moment. The blue fat man actually had an ambush. Then there are so many of them, what should Chicheng do? Four or five people fight against a dozen or so people ah!

Sure enough, Chicheng's so-called brothers saw these knife-wielding men and ran away one after another, but Chicheng didn't.

I secretly scolded those boys, they were greedy for life and afraid of death, they even fled when their brothers were in danger, it's worth noting such brothers, it's a waste of emotion.

But I can't watch Chicheng being beaten by them. Fatty Lan and the others probably won't kill Chicheng, after all, they are all students of the school.

Unexpectedly, they really hacked with knives!I suddenly didn't know where the courage came from, and rushed out directly from behind the sundries.

"Stop! I've already called the police!"

When I yelled this sentence, everyone present stopped their movements and turned their heads to see me.

When the fatty blue heard me say that the police were coming, he took a few steps back in fright, then looked at me suspiciously and said, "Who are you?"

Before I could answer Fatty Lan, Chi Cheng preemptively asked: "Why are you here?!"

The tone was full of surprise, and when I heard Chicheng's magnetic voice unique to men, my heart suddenly felt sweet and warm.

Is he caring about me?Are you concerned about my safety?I recalled the meaning of this sentence happily in my heart.

"Are you following me?"

There is a kind of stupidity, that is, being too sentimental, such a self lifts himself up to the clouds, leaving opportunities for others to throw himself down.

Hearing Chicheng's cold words, I didn't pay too much attention to such a sense of indifference and alienation, but I still felt lost for a moment...

"I just happened to go the wrong way, and then I heard voices, so I came here."

I myself have no confidence in what I said, and even my voice is very low-key when I feel guilty. This excuse is too lame, but I can't make up any seamless excuses at once. Do I have to say, "I like you, that's why I told you Come here, I'm worried that something will happen to you..."

I don't have the courage and guts now, because if I say it, I may not even have the chance to be friends. I am not an open-minded person, and I am not a boy who is easy to empathize with others.

Forget it, maybe this discriminated love will be buried in my heart forever, and no one will know.

"Hey! Boy, don't scare me. It's been so long. Where's the police?"

Fatty Lan interrupted my conversation with Chicheng impatiently. I looked at Chicheng. After hearing my so-called wrong way, he didn't have any expression on his face. His face was still as cold as ice.

I waved my hand helplessly, and then shouted domineeringly at the blue fat man opposite: "Then just wait, the police will be here soon!"

"Hahaha! Boy, are you stupid? Do you know what my dad does? My dad is a policeman! Hahahaha!"

Fatty Lan's smile can be described as wretched, it's too shameless, what should I do?They have a powerful father, and Chi Cheng and I...

He must have died a miserable death today, I heard Fatty Lan's words, and looked in the direction of Chicheng with desolate eyes.

"Fool!"

No, even Chi Cheng said that about me.But I didn't feel bad in my heart, on the contrary, I wanted to jump up with joy. This tone, these words, were too domineering and gentle.