Two pots of water

As soon as these two words came out of Tan Zui's mouth, a thin electric sound passed through Jiang Chu's ears, and the "buzz" silenced his brain.

"What do you mean?" After a while, he looked at Tan Zui and asked, "Who is tired?"

"You." Tan Zui said, "I won't force you anymore."

"Don't force me anymore?" Jiang Chu heard himself smiling, but the smile couldn't be swallowed, it couldn't move up or down like a ball of cotton, and it choked thickly in his throat.

The arm was resting on Tan Zui's shoulder for too long, and his fingers were a little sore.

Jiang Chu withdrew his hand and stood up, staring at Tan Zui from top to bottom, staring at him without blinking.

"Don't force me now." He repeated.

"Forced until now, and then you said 'tired' and started to think about me, so you don't force me anymore." Jiang Chu raised his finger and pointed at Tan Zui, "Are you really good at it?"

"Brother." Tan Zui frowned, straightened up and wanted to grab his hand.

"Don't call me brother." Jiang Chu flipped the back of his hand and opened it for him.

"Why didn't you think that I was still your 'brother'?" He stared at Tan Zui sharply, "Ah?!"

The corners of Tan Zui's mouth twitched, as if he couldn't speak for a while, and his eyes fixed on his face.

The nerves in Jiang Chu's brain flickered and burned.

Obviously, he wanted to have a good chat with Tan Best in his heart, and Ming Ming looked at him with such eyes as painful as a knife.

But he was overwhelmed by the turbulent emotions in his chest, and he still couldn't control his words and jumped out one after another.

And even if he jumped like this, he couldn't express his current mood at all.

He suddenly felt confused as to what the two of them were doing.

The two good brothers, how did it become such a way of getting along with each other to speculate on each other's words and deeds, and to stab each other in the heart?

Jiang Chu took a deep breath slowly, forcing himself to suppress more sharp anger that was waiting to be erupted, but he was replaced by a deep sense of fatigue.

He didn't feel like talking for a second.

He compared his thumbs to Tan Zui, and nodded softly in a hoarse voice: "Tan Zui, you are so awesome."

After saying this, Jiang Chu kicked the door, turned around and went out.

Zhou Teng was engrossed in gnawing on the buckle straps in the suitcase, when he was startled by the kicking of the door, he suddenly looked up and looked out.

Qin Zui sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes still stopped at the direction where Jiang Chu was standing just now, without blinking or moving.

He heard Jiang Chu looking through the cigarette case and ashtray angrily.

After a while, Jiang Chu kicked the coffee table again.

As the legs of the coffee table dragged their teeth on the floor, Jiang Chu cursed and shouted irritably, "Give me the lighter!"

Only then did Tan Zui come back to his senses, remembering that Jiang Chu's lighter was still in his hand.

He let go of his numb fist and looked down. The four stainless steel corners of the lighter were deeply pressed against the flesh, and he was holding it hot.

Tan Zui took the lighter and got up to go out. Jiang Chu was standing in front of the crooked coffee table with his waist down, with a cigarette in his mouth and drooping eyelids, staring at the shaken cup on the coffee table, without turning his head to look in his direction. .

The cup has slowly rolled to the edge of the table, and it is about to fall down.

Tan Zui went to pick up the cup and handed him the lighter.

Jiang Chu patted the lighter, pushed the cover of the machine with a "click" and wiped the ignition twice, then turned around and was about to leave.

Tan Zui raised his hand to hold his elbow.

"Release." Jiang Chu suddenly turned his head and stared at him.

Tan Zui didn't say a word, and didn't let go of his hand, and even put in more effort to swing Jiang Chu onto the sofa.

"I told you to let go, did you hear me?" Jiang Chu frowned fiercely, shaking off Tan Zui's hand, he was about to stand up and beat him up, "Do you really think I won't hit you?"

Before he could finish the second half of his sentence, Tan Zui had already raised his knees and pressed onto the sofa, put his arms in the gap between his back and the sofa, pulled them in and tightened them, and buried himself in the hollow of his neck.

Jiang Chu really wanted to say "Get lost", but also really wanted to punch Tan Zui in the ribs, throw him aside and beat him hard.

His words rolled down to his throat, and his fists were clenched.

But feeling Tan Zui's tighter and tighter arms, and the warmth and breath tightly pressed against his neck and shoulders, he couldn't open his mouth no matter what.

She also subconsciously tilted her head to the side, fearing that Tan Zui would hit him so recklessly, and get her ears stung by cigarette butts.

"Brother." Tan Zui called out into his neck.

Jiang Chu frowned and ignored him.

He couldn't tell what he felt, his arms relaxed and tightened for a while, and he was still thinking about whether to push him.

Tan Zui didn't say much, after calling "Brother", he continued to tie Jiang Chu like this, and buried him on his shoulders.

Jiang Chu didn't break Tan Zui's arm until a cigarette was stuffy to the butt, and Jiang Chu flicked the cigarette end into a puddle of water that splashed out on the coffee table.

"Let go." He said in a low voice.

Qin Zui still didn't move.

"What exactly do you want?" Jiang Chu raised his hand to grab the back of Tan Zui's head.

"Give me some time, let me think about it." Tan Zui said.

Jiang Chu's hand paused.

"What are you thinking?" He asked Tan Zui.

"It's right to think about what I should do." Tan Zui let go of his hands, instead supported the back of the sofa, and looked up at him.

Jiang Chu had a lot to say.

He wanted to say that you don't have to think about it, I am not willing to tell you anything but I am not willing to let you think about it.

I want to say that it is enough for you to maintain yourself, and no one can tell right from wrong in matters of relationship.

I also want to say that brother really doesn't have those intentions, I don't think you can't do anything, and you can't take what I say when I get angry.

You are not my stress, you are my puppy.

So many things he wanted to say were turning around in his mind, but he was still held back by his emotions, and the words he opened his mouth were still thorny: "I'll give you time, what about me?"

"I'll give it back to you." Qin Zui said.

Tan Zui had thought about it many times these days, but he didn't expect to actually say these words. Every word was like a blade, cutting out piece by piece from his heart to his throat.

"I know you need to think about it too." He had to look firmly into Jiang Chu's eyes so that he could continue without ambiguity or regret.

"You were forced to be like this step by step by me, and I forced you to feel different..." Tan Zui's eyelids trembled imperceptibly, and he tightened his jaw muscles, "You treat men, or other people Same sex, not really... like that."

Jiang Chu opened his mouth hesitantly.

What Tan Zui said was like farting, he wanted to refute, but miraculously he couldn't find the entry point.

"I don't want you to regret it." Tan Zui continued.

After a pause, he changed his expression: "I'm afraid you will regret it."

"I'm afraid that when I really have no room left, it will be really hard to see you one day." Tan said with difficulty all the meaning he could express.

"I'm flustered, brother." Tan Zui wrinkled his eyebrows vigorously, his voice was hoarse just like that.

This is not the "have a good chat" that Jiang Chu imagined before going home.

The "chat chat" he envisioned was all focused on Tan Zui.

In the end, he never expected that he would go around in a big circle when he entered the house, and finally it came to him.

What made him even more flustered was that, following Qin Zui's words one after another, he became more and more unable to open his mouth to give a decisive answer directly.

Jiang Chu couldn't forget the scene of Tan Zui reaching out to him these days.

He didn't think of Tan Zui in the same way, and this matter stuck in him like a mental block.

No matter whether Qin most can think of it or not, he still has a sense of guilt that cannot be overcome, which is also one of the reasons why he has become more and more irritable with Tan most unpredictable attitude recently.

At the same time, there was another thing that Tan most absolutely didn't know about, and Jiang Chu couldn't lie to himself.

On the day he "can't do it", Tan Zui asked him over and over again if he was uncomfortable, kissed him, tried to coax him, but he didn't get any response, because he was thinking about something in his mind.

——If time can be turned back, if he can know the follow-up in advance, and know what changes Qin Zui will bring to his life, will he still make the same choice.

At the time he couldn't come up with an answer.

Not only because he was interrupted by Tan Zui, but also because his head was in a mess and he didn't dare to continue thinking.

Jiang Chu was also afraid that he would "regret it".

Silence was like today's theme, once again enveloping the two of them.

Jiang Chu remained silent, and Tan Zui turned over and got off the sofa.

He dragged the coffee table back, wiped off all the spilled water on the table, lit another cigarette and sat down beside Jiang Chu, dragging his long legs and raised an arm over his eyes.

"If you need time to think clearly, you have to go to school to think about it?" Jiang Chu waited until Tan Zui's cigarette was burned down to the end of a cigarette, and then asked dryly.

"I can't control it when I'm by your side." Tan didn't move the least, he had forced himself to finish the most difficult words, and no matter what he said at the moment, he felt numb in his heart.

"If you can't control it, it will affect you." He added.

"...Then what about yourself?" Jiang Chu asked again.

At the first glance, the question was confusing, but Tan Zui understood it immediately.

He thought for a while, then put down his arms and turned to look at Jiang Chu.

"I don't know, so I have to think about it." He smiled at Jiang Chu.

"If you really..." He opened his head, lowered his eyelids again, and squeezed his cigarette again before continuing, "I really figured it out. As long as I don't stay by your side, maybe I will figure it out too. "

"I have to think about it too." Qin repeated it in a low voice, as if emphasizing it for himself.

Qin is the best at "figuring it out", and it has always been Jiang Chu's wish before.

At this time, I heard that he wanted to "figure it out", but it was as if his heart was being hit with a hammer, which made him feel distressed and upset all at once.

"Then think about it." Jiang Chu raked two handfuls of hair and stood up irritably.

He was full of clues that he couldn't figure out, raised his arm, wiped his clothes, and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower: "Let's both think about it."

Tan Zui has always been like this, either he doesn't think about anything, and once he has made a decision and made up his mind, he doesn't care about anything.

It was as if suddenly shaking out an "accommodation application form" for Jiang Chu to sign.

It's also like he didn't charge a piece of luggage on the snowy night last winter, bought a ticket with the last bit of battery on his mobile phone, and ran back to see him.

When Jiang Chu was strangled awake by Tan Zui again the next morning, he was still dazed thinking about taking Tan Zui out to eat something good today, and almost forgot that he was leaving today.

As the night passed, he looked at the ceiling and recalled what Tan Zui had said to him yesterday, and he couldn't help being in a daze.

Ming Mingtan is like a real dog every day, he can't do without pestering him, even if he says he wants to "think about it", he distances himself to "think about it" without saying a word.

Like a fucking dream.

And the tickets for this dog thing were bought too early.

It seemed that staying at home with Jiang Chu for half a day would make him suffer, he didn't even think about discussing it, and directly booked a ticket for the departure at [-]:[-].

When Tan Zui pulled out the packed suitcase, Jiang Chu almost couldn't resist throwing it back for him, then locked Tan Zui at home, and didn't let him think about anything.

"You didn't tell your mother." On the way to drive Qin Zui to the station, Jiang Chu tried to stay with him for a few more days, "Stop having dinner with her?"

"Called her." Tan Zui answered him, while quickly pressing his fingers on the phone to send a message.

Jiang Chu glanced at it, and suddenly remembered the important question that he had ignored until now: "Is your school open?"

"Not yet." Tan Zui put the phone away with a "click".

"Then where do you live?" Jiang Chu was a little unhappy, "Sleeping on the floor in the laboratory?"

Qin glanced at him the most, as if hesitating for a moment.

"Live with Kang Che." He still told Jiang Chu the truth.

Anyway, it's impossible to stop calling Jiang Chu before going to bed, it's impossible to hide it, and there's no need to try to hide it.

Jiang Chu really didn't expect this answer.

He was stunned, resisting the strong urge to frown, and turned to stare at Tan Zui.