a winter fire

01

I believe everyone was asked the same question when they were kids - what do you want to be when you grow up.

I remember the first time I answered this question was in primary school. On the first day of school, when I introduced myself, I said: "I want to be a writer when I grow up."

This ideal is very inconspicuous among scientists and astronomers, but my class teacher smiled and said: "Come on."

She cheered for me very seriously, but I didn't work hard in this direction for many years afterwards. More often than not, I forgot that I had such an ideal, and just drifted with the flow, being pushed forward by my parents and teachers.

When I was in high school, my math grades were terrible, and I didn't like learning.

Read novels secretly in class, and hide under the covers to read novels after returning home.

At that time, I watched Gu Long and Jin Yong, and after watching it, I began to think about the differences between the two of them.

I also read some romantic novels and youth pain literature borrowed from the girls in the class. Youth pain was the mainstream in those years.

Of course, I also read the classics. My saliva soaked the pages of "Reminiscence of Things Past", not because it was so beautiful that I drool without knowing it, but because I watched it lying on my stomach. fell asleep on the book.

At that time, I only knew how to watch, and only knew how to think wildly, but if I were a writer, I had already seen through it when I was a teenager, and I couldn’t make money as a writer.

I really thought so at the time.

My dad is a lover of literature. When I was young, I lived in a bungalow with a big yard. There was a separate house in the front yard that was used as a study room, which was full of books.

He likes to read poetry, from ancient times to the present, at home and abroad.

He always told me about Haizi, and he liked it, so when I was very young, I knew the phrase "Facing the sea, the spring is warm and the flowers are blooming".

My dad also told me: "Being a writer or a poet, you don't make money when you suffer, it's hard work and it's not rewarding."

He told me this sentence when I was ten years old, and I remembered it later. At the age of 17, my ideal was no longer to be a writer, but I had no other ideals, just an empty mind.

However, if I knew that the author of the book whose protagonists were all burned to death that I borrowed from the girl at the same table at that time made a lot of money, maybe I could still struggle a little longer.

I'm just a vulgar person, and after reading so many books with my dad, I still haven't been able to get rid of the vulgar interests, and I only want to make money.

I studied liberal arts in high school, and the range of majors I can choose when filling out the application for the college entrance examination is indeed not as wide as that of science students. When I applied for the exam, my dad asked me again: "Have you thought about what to do in the future?"

"No." At that time, I was squatting in the living room and eating watermelon, with a book I just picked up from a bookstore near the school in my hand.

The title of the book is "Wild Crossing", and it tells the story of a small village.

I don't know much about domestic literature, and I don't have that strong interest. The reason why I bought this book with my meager pocket money is entirely because my father mentioned this author to me.

He said he knew it.

This person is Zhou Hanzhang, his teacher's son, and he had dinner with him many years ago, but since my dad's teacher passed away, he has never contacted him again.

If there is anyone I admire the most since I was a child, it is definitely my dad. It seems that no matter what I say, he knows. The world I have seen is only the size of a fist, but he knows more than the world.

So, when I saw this book written by someone my dad knew, I bought it unconsciously.

I bought it when I was 17, and it has been kept in my dad's study ever since.

At that time, I never imagined that seven years later, I would be able to sit down and chat with that man named Zhou Hanzhang and drink tea.

I studied Chinese in college, and so did graduate students.

The school is very average, but I study very energetically.

But all the fun came to an abrupt end upon graduation, employment was difficult, and the salary was meager.

I have interviewed in many places, or people think I am not good, or I look down on the other party.

I got my graduation certificate, but my job has not been settled yet.

Worrying and anxious, bumping around like headless chickens.

When talking to my dad, he told me to calm down and think about what to do first. If I have difficulties in life, my family can support me, but I must know where I am going.

Not long after that, I finally got a job.

A senior I met when I was an undergraduate worked in a good publishing group. Through internal recommendation, I finally got a job.

The probationary period for fresh graduates is six months.

In the first three months of the internship, I just helped out with some trivial work, and many times I didn't have a share in the discussion in the group.

When it came to November, I was thinking about whether to talk to the team leader, hoping to send me some decent tasks. Although I was in the probationary period, I really hoped to stay.

Just thinking about it, the task has really come down, and it is still a "steel board".

The team leader found me and said that a writer they were very optimistic about was writing a new book, and if I could get this manuscript, I could become a regular.

The subtext is, if I can't get it, I will lose my job to you.

This industry is already very sluggish, unless those "big IPs", such purely literary things really can't make much money, the company has limited conditions for its own considerations, and it is estimated that it may not be possible to negotiate, so it sent I go.

When I went back and thought about it, this could be regarded as an attempt to drive me away in disguise.

It's very uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable is uncomfortable, but you have to bite the bullet.

The next day I went to the team leader to take orders, and was told that the writer was Zhou Hanzhang.

"This is Teacher Zhou's contact information," the group leader handed me a piece of paper, which was crumpled and I didn't know what it meant, "He has a weird personality, so you must be careful when talking to him. "

They only told me it was weird, but they didn't tell me how weird it was.

"The team leader," I said, "this is just an e-mail address and an address, is there no other way of contact?"

"No more," said the team leader, "Mr. Zhou doesn't have a mobile phone, and he never answers the phone at home. You should send him an email and make an appointment with him for a visit. Don't just say that you are going for the manuscript, just say that it is the end of the year. Go see him on behalf of the company."

In this way, I sent Zhou Hanzhang an email for the first time.

Three days later, I received his reply.

He said: I have received my heart, no need to visit, thank you for remembering.

Twelve words, I am disheartened, I am afraid that I am really going to lose my job.