through those heavy years

Looking up, I saw a row of low houses. A fence next to the low houses was surrounded by a sharp woolen wire playground. Inside the playground, there was no grass, showing circles of tight loess skin. It was probably the place where the prisoners came out to play in the open air. Traces of digging.Bypassing the low house and walking through the long dark alleyway, you will see three or four tall buildings with six or seven floors, the appearance is old and terrifying.The window opening of the building is not very big, but if you look over a little, you can easily see someone looking at us with wide-eyed eyes through the window.They are all people in prison. After sitting in prison for a long time, their expressions will become dull and their eyes will be dull and lifeless.

I knew I was about to be one of them, facing the same life as them.This kind of life may be six years.If someone wants to ask me, what kind of feeling and feeling does this kind of life have.I would answer that I don't know, as if the trajectory of life is walking in this way, following cause and effect.If someone asks me, if I can always be so impulsive, I will answer no, because I am destined to have that kind of life concept at that age, and I am not sure that I have a strong reason to control my actions at that age for.Everything is ignorant, and only when faced with the impact of reality will one start to be ignorant.

After checking in, we were taken to a room that was slightly spacious but also dark and smelled of decay.The prison guards asked us to take off our clothes, and checked our belongings one by one to see if we had any dangerous items with us.We were raped like dogs by men in police uniforms.

When you are sitting for a haircut, the barber will just grab a handful of your hair and cut it off, no matter how hard you are.My hair was not long, and he grabbed it several times, but he couldn't find one that suited his touch, so he cursed a little, and used the hand-made hair clippers like pliers to push them awkwardly from the back of my head to the front of my forehead.That technique is like a cow eating grass. If the grass is bitten off, then I feel the same as the grass.

After beating someone and breaking the law, I suffered a lot.Maybe these pains should be turned into sadness to affect the loss of my behavior, so that I can cry like the boy who was escorted together, instead of pretending to be calm like I am now.So strictly speaking, maybe no matter how many trials and hardships people like me have gone through, many things are still difficult to get rid of, including the character of vengeance.

I have already looked up and stared at the barber several times.He was wearing a white coat, not a prison guard, but a temporary worker.Seeing that my vicious, old-fashioned eyes didn't hold back, he turned even harder.He was standing on my right side. I felt that he was forcing me, so I complied with him and decided to give him some revenge.I quickly pinched his thigh hard and hard, and then pretended nothing happened.As soon as he finished pinching, he heard a scream of "嗤——", and the barber threw away the artificial hair clippers for a while and jumped away.The cry alarmed the prison guards, and the prison guards hurriedly raised their guns to take precautions.Everyone stared at the barber intently, not knowing what happened.The barber's face was flushed red, he touched his leg and gritted his teeth, looked at me, then quickly looked at the prison guard standing beside him with a gun, hissed twice, but couldn't say anything.The serious atmosphere fell silent for a few seconds, and a prison guard who understood the situation was the first to laugh out loud. , his prison guard also followed suit with a hehe laugh and eased away.After the prison guard finished laughing, he said something fierce to me, telling me to be more honest.When the barber saw the prison guard's reaction, although he only uttered a few words fiercely, it was still seeking some justice for him.So I could only endure the grievance and continue to help me cut my hair.If you don't hit people, you will behave badly, including me.Then the barber was much more honest.

One of the prison guards who kept looking at me was the first one to laugh.I felt his gaze and looked up at him, and he looked at me with interesting eyes.He appeared to be in his 30s, tall, with a large nose and a milder countenance.He looks decent and majestic in a prison guard uniform. He looks ugly, but overall he shows a man's heroic spirit.

After cutting our hair, we leaned over and disinfected the shower.The process also requires vaccinations and preventive medicines for infectious diseases.In the end, the items were distributed, the system was announced, and several items were supervised.

There are five brigades in the prison, and each brigade is divided into two or three squadrons. The first squadron of the second brigade is the "newly recruited" squadron in the prison.Those of us who have been sentenced by the court are called "convicted prisoners" in the detention center.After the [-]-day appeal period, the convicted prisoners will be sent to the prison on the [-]th of every month by the detention center. They will be called "newly received" prisoners and will be managed by the "newly received" squadron.

My prison number is 0523, a plaque that has been hung on my chest for many years.Clothes are provided by the prison, two sets of summer shirts, spring and autumn clothes, and winter clothes (padded clothes), two pairs of shoes, two quilts, one bedding, and one quilt.In summer, there is also a mat, a hot water bottle, a bucket, and a quilt.All are numbered.Winter underwear is not distributed, so you need to bring it in yourself, or have it brought in by relatives outside.It must also be numbered before it can be worn on the prisoner.No one gave me underwear, and for a long time I lived in prison-issued coats.

Each cell must be filled with twelve people.There are six iron frame beds in the cell, each of which is next to each other.I was the bottom bunk, near the door, with a thin layer of hard grass on it.It was very late at night when we entered the cell, and only two or three inmates half stood up and looked at us, and soon fell asleep on the bed again.After making the bed, I didn't feel sleepy for a while, and sat on the edge of the bed in a daze.On the opposite bed is the new prisoner who came in with me, and it happens to be the boy who looks about the same age as me who took the prison car to the prison together today.His name was written on the sign hanging on his chest—Jiang Haoran, who committed the crime of rape and was sentenced to eight years in prison.

He, like me, made his bed and was not sleepy.Sitting down on the edge of the bed.His mood has been unstable, and his depression makes people feel very sad, and he seems to be crying silently until now.

It was really hard to see that such a quiet and weak boy would actually commit a crime.Of course, I didn't look like a savage thug either.

He twitched for a while, during which time he didn't look up.I was disturbed by his convulsions and couldn't be quiet for a moment. After watching him for a while, I still didn't feel sleepy, so I began to look around the cell.Fortunately, unlike the detention center, there is no bed at all, and people have to lie on the ground crowded.Except that it is not as spacious as the iron house on the construction site, the rest of the facilities are not that bad.I just feel that my small rented house has not cleaned up my sorrow, and I have been squeezed into the public again, so I inevitably feel a little conflicted in my heart.

In the dead of night, the forced daze was unsatisfactory, the thoughts became clearer, and the roles gradually became clearer.Grandma's warm smiling face and expectant eyes came to my mind.Suddenly, the heart seemed to be tightly clenched by a ruthless big hand.I failed grandma.She failed to have a good grandson.On the contrary, she has a grandson who is in prison, a grandson who is indeed a mad dog in the eyes of the villagers, and a bad grandson who has no future without studying.

Grandma once said that a sinful person must have a pair of parents who can't teach.So she said that she didn't dare to blame her youngest son for not being filial to her.On the contrary, she was afraid that her youngest son would lose face because he would not know how to be a human being outside. It would feel as if she had lost face, so she slapped him abruptly, which felt very uncomfortable.Now I can pretend to be calm, but there must be one person who is heartbroken and tears like rain.But who can say that this is because grandma did not teach well.

Life in prison may be said to be the same as working on a construction site, repeating itself.It's just that there is no salary, no human rights, no freedom, and it is difficult to see the light of day.

Get up at six o'clock in the morning, tidy up the housework after waking up, arrange the items, fold the quilt into tofu cubes, and remove other sundries in the cell except for daily necessities and a change of clothes.Then he sat on the stool and waited for the prison guard to open the cell door.

The next day, all twelve people got up, finished their work neatly, sat side by side on stools and began to look at us.Jiang Haoran kept his head down, maybe crying all night.When he was tidying up the housework, he was weak, and the quilt was crooked.Some other people looked disgusted at Jiang Haoran. They generally didn't like such soft people. Those who came to prison were poor people. If they didn't want to stay, they would die. What a miserable situation.They actually look at me quite disgusted, because they think I am young and immature, not like an old fritter in prison, but pretending to be as deep as an old prisoner who has been in prison for many years.They were not used to my appearance, they felt that I was too good at pretending and became hostile to me in their hearts.I don't feel anything about them, and I don't have much anxiety about prison life.Still uphold the idea of ​​living together if you can get along, and if you can't get along, you should be quiet.In fact, there are no specially designated bullies in the prison. Of course, they are fierce and not easy to mess with. There are several everywhere.But everyone will restrain themselves a bit on the scene. After all, beating someone in a cell will be punished. If you don't particularly want to beat someone, just endure it first.I took a few glances at these people. Among the twelve people, the oldest was over 70 years old, and the youngest was Jiang Haoran.The rest are either more than 40 or more than 30.In general, there are still more than 30, and there is only one more than 70.

The old man looks kind and well-behaved.The two are very silent. They should have been taught a lesson before they came in. Now basically, if people don’t offend me, I will keep silent, and if people offend me, I will hide.The rest all put on a dismissive look, and it didn't feel easy to get along with.

Prison and labor, in my opinion, are actually one word, or two close brothers.Inmates in the prison have to work every day, and the work they usually do is very complicated.There are manual work, machine work, and heavy work such as going out to repair railways and move stones.To be in prison is to work.