Difficult to quit

38

The next day Li Qinghai woke up in a daze, his arms were already empty.

He rubbed his eyes and sat up, looking dazed.

Last night, with the help of Jiu Jin, Zhuang Yi intermittently talked about the past. Although he knew it was impossible to reconcile like this, it was also a good progress.

He got out of bed and saw that Zhuang Yi's clothes that were on the bedside table yesterday were gone.

Li Qinghai pinched the center of his brows. He drank a lot of wine yesterday, and now his head still hurts, and his stomach is not feeling well.

He opened the bedroom door and called out, "Zhuang Yi?"

The house was empty and there was no response.

Li Qinghai's heart was slightly cold, and he raised his voice and shouted again: "Zhuang Yi!"

Still no reply.

He went to the bathroom, living room and kitchen first, and finally searched the whole house, but Zhuang Yi was not there.

Li Qinghai's expression changed slightly, he reached for his cell phone and called Tan Junfeng, "Has Zhuang Yi returned to the set?"

Tan Junfeng was also confused, "Zhuang Yi doesn't need to film today, I'll call and ask later."

Li Qinghai hung up the phone and waited for a few minutes for Tan Junfeng to call back, "Boss, Zhuang Yi didn't return to the set. The production manager said he took five days off... I don't know where he went."

Li Qinghai was furious, and remembered that he took the man away yesterday, so he asked again: "He didn't say where he was going? Liu Han didn't know either?"

Tan Junfeng: "No."

Li Qinghai hung up the phone, thought for a while and called Zhuang Yi.

Zhuang Yi blocked him before, but Sun Chongming broke his phone later, and the address book didn't have time to back it up; he asked Xiao Chen to buy a new one, and saved his number back by the way, but he didn't know that Zhuang Yi Did you block him again in private?

The call was connected, but it was not blocked, but it showed that the call could not be answered temporarily.

Li Qinghai was in a hurry, and asked Xiao Chen to check Zhuang Yi's whereabouts, took the key and went out, went downstairs and knocked on Zhuang Yi's door.

After knocking for a while, there was no answer, Li Qinghai opened the door with the key he had left, went into the room and went straight to the bedroom, he was relieved when he saw that most of Zhuang Yi's clothes were there.

He walked around the room again, making sure that Zhuang Yi didn't take anything else away, and then sat down on his bed as if discouraged.

"Where did you go, and I don't know to tell brother." He sighed, his stomach and head were clamoring to compare who hurt more, he was sweating all over, and his whole body was weak.

After a while, Xiao Chen called and found out that Zhuang Yi had bought a high-speed rail ticket to City A in the morning.

Li Qinghai's heart suddenly moved, he turned on his phone and glanced at the date, September 9th.

Xiao Chen asked him if he needed to call the driver, Li Qinghai suddenly asked an irrelevant question: "According to the information you checked, when did Zhuang Yi's father get into a car accident?"

Xiao Chen was stunned, and recalled it for a while before saying: "It seems to be October, and I didn't write the specific date."

Li Qinghai asked again: "Where is the cemetery?"

Xiao Chen didn't know, it wasn't written in the information.

Li Qinghai closed his eyes, "Check, check now. Also, ask the driver to come over."

The date of the car accident was found out, which was October 10 eight years ago, but the cemetery is not easy to find out, so it has not been found out yet.

After the driver came, Li Qinghai asked him to drive him back to City A. When he arrived in City A, he went straight to the Xishan Cemetery. He asked the person in charge to check the files, but the files from eight years ago were missing. Hours to no avail.

Li Qinghai hadn't eaten since he woke up in the morning, and felt a burning pain in his stomach. After thinking about it, he called Zou Kai.

Zou Kai thought for a while, "He also came back to City A at this time last year and the year before... the cemetery? I don't know about this... Let me think about it. Zhuang Er once mentioned that he was going back to his hometown. His hometown is City A, right? "

No.

Li Qinghai remembered that Zhuang Yi once mentioned that his hometown was in the county, and he grew up in the county before he was 3 years old, but which county?He couldn't remember.

The person in charge of Wanhe Group City A branch was by his side. Seeing his pale face, he leaned over and said, "Second Young Master, why don't you go back to the hotel to rest for a while?"

Li Qinghai waved his hand, "Go to the police station and check his hometown."

The person in charge agreed, and hurriedly called, and then called the secretary to bring some hot porridge over, and then made Er Shao pass out, so he, the person in charge, would not be the person in charge.

City A began to rain at night, Li Qinghai refused the reception banquet arranged by the person in charge, drank a bowl of porridge and went back to the hotel to sleep.

It was still raining in City A the next day.

In the four districts and thirteen counties, half of them are raining, and the autumn rain is continuous, bringing a bone-chilling chill.

Linxiang County is a mountain city, the temperature is 5 degrees lower than the urban area, and it is raining, there are no people on the street, and even small vendors have closed their stalls and gone home to sleep.

The cemetery is located on the Nanshan Mountain in the suburbs. The fire cannot be lit even in the rain. There are no people visiting the grave today. The administrator huddled lazily in the gatehouse and ushered in a young man.

It was raining heavily, and he didn't even take an umbrella. He was wearing a simple white T-shirt and jeans, with yellow mud dripping from his shoes and trousers. It was obvious that he had trekked all the way up from the foot of the mountain.

The administrator glanced at him through the rain-stained window, seeing that he was holding nothing in his hand, thinking that even if he ignited a fire in this weather, nothing would happen, so he left him alone and nestled back in his chair Continue to fight the landlord.

Zhuang Yi walked into the cemetery alone and found his father's tombstone.

On the marble monument, there is a black-and-white photo pasted on it, and the year of Zhuangfu's birth and death is written.

He didn't go over, just watched from a few meters away, he didn't dare to go over.

When he woke up, his father was gone, and his mother was heartbroken, but still insisted on taking care of the funeral and taking care of him. Zhuang Yi suggested that his father had said before that he wanted to return to his hometown county after retirement, and suggested that he be buried in his hometown.

In fact, he didn't dare to ask his father to stay in City A, he was afraid that he would be disappointed seeing him like this in the sky.

He's gay because he fell in love with a man and caused his father to have a car accident.

For so many years, he came here every October 10st, but never dared to get close. What happened in the car that night became a taboo, and it was an eternal shackle on him.

He couldn't face his father, and he didn't dare to face his mother who was suddenly aging.

It was raining heavily.

Zhuang Yi stood silently in the rain, his body was so cold that he lost consciousness a long time ago, the newly pierced eighth ear hole in his right ear was red, and the whole ear was swollen, as if soaked in blood.

I don't know how long I stood there, but suddenly, the rain disappeared.

He turned his head stiffly, and saw a black umbrella propped above his head, blocking the rain.

The young man holding the umbrella was tall, his black suit was stained with muddy water and looked a bit embarrassed, and he looked at him intently.

Zhuang Yi turned his eyes back to the direction of the tombstone, and said indifferently: "That's my father."

"On your birthday, October 10st, I had a fever. My dad sent me to the hospital. Li Yan called me and said that you were attending a birthday dinner hosted by the Li family. From now on, you will be a member of the upper class. You like me just for fun, I, I am nothing in your eyes..." Zhuang Yi closed his eyes, and after eight years, the darkness and blood in that scene still made it difficult for him to breathe, "This sentence I was heard by my dad and didn't notice that there was a car accident."

Zhuang Yi was rear-ended by a truck transporting timber at the corner, and Zhuang's father was fully responsible. Zhuang Yi had four broken ribs, multiple fractures all over his body, internal bleeding and a slight concussion. When he woke up, Zhuang's father had already left. Did not see the last side.

The last thing Zhuang's father said to him was to ask him with a serious face: "Zhuang Yi, what's going on?"

He also wanted to know what was going on, how it had come to be like this.

He could not answer his father at that time, he had no face to see him.

There was a bit of helplessness in his expression, and he said blankly: "Li Qinghai, I don't have to hate you, but I can't forgive you, do you understand?"

If it was said that he deserved what happened to him at school, he deserved it, but his father's death weighed on his heart, and he couldn't let it go.

Li Qinghai stretched out his hand and gently wiped off the rain on his face.

Then he stuffed the handle of the umbrella into his hand, stepped out of the range of the umbrella, and strode towards the tombstone.

Zhuang Yi was startled, and was about to stop him, when Li Qinghai bent his knees and suddenly knelt in front of the stele!

Zhuang Yi was stunned.

That was Li Qinghai, the Li Qinghai who would not admit defeat when he broke his bones when he was young, the Li Qinghai who taught him not to admit defeat, the Li Qinghai who would not give in even if someone stopped him with a knife.

Never bowed to anyone.

—kneeling in front of his father's tombstone.

"Hi Uncle, I'm Li Qinghai." In the heavy rain, Li Qinghai knelt straight and said, "The one who likes your son."

"Are you crazy?!" Zhuang Yi murmured.

Li Qinghai ignored him, and continued to talk to the tombstone as usual: "I'm sorry to have misled Zhuang Yi, but I really like him, and I can't wait to show my heart to him."

"Uncle, you want to know what happened eight years ago. Zhuang Yi didn't tell you. Let me tell you. I really like Zhuang Yi. It's not just for fun. The woman who called you is Li Yan. It's me. Aunt, she wants me to be her backer in the Li family, so she deliberately said this to make Zhuang Yi sad, so that Zhuang Yi can no longer be nice to me."

The icy heavy rain hit him, and soon drenched him completely.

"I didn't want Zhuang Yi when I went back to Li's house. I wanted to come back when I became stronger. But I was too young at that time and I didn't understand. This matter wasn't solved just after I left. I never thought it would happen." It has caused such great harm to Zhuang Yi and you." Li Qinghai looked back at Zhuang Yi's direction with gentle eyes.

"It's not Zhuang Yi's fault. He has blamed himself until now. If you blame me, blame me. I was the one who fell in love with Zhuang Yi first, and I was the one who provoked him first. He was only 14 years old at that time. He understands What, it's all my fault, if you blame me, come to me."

The rain didn't know when it stopped.

Li Qinghai knelt in front of the tombstone for a long time, Zhuang Yi finally couldn't bear it anymore, and took a few steps forward to pull him up.

"Come here," Li Qinghai knelt without moving, and stretched out his hand to give him a hand, "Here you are, say hello to your father."

For the first time in eight years, Zhuang Yi saw the appearance of the tombstone up close.

He stood there with a complicated expression, his lips twitched, but he couldn't say anything.

"It's okay, brother is in front of you." Li Qinghai then said, "I made it clear to my uncle, I'm all to blame for what happened back then, don't be afraid."

Don't be afraid.

Zhuang Yi suddenly remembered that when he was young, he went skating with Li Qinghai and the others, he fell into the ice hole, Li Qinghai ran all the way to save him stepping on the broken ice, and said the same words.

——"Don't be afraid, brother is here."

He blinked hard.

Then whispered: "...Dad, it's me, I'm here."

After saying these words, miraculously, his tense body relaxed unconsciously.

"Dad, I'm sorry." Zhuang Yi said.

I'm sorry, but I'm not sick, nor perverted, I just fell in love with a man by accident.

On the tombstone, in the photo, Dad Zhuang smiled warmly and kindly.