[Comprehensive English and American] Jason's beautiful day

Jason has been shutting himself in the house for almost a week now.

"Off" in the true sense.

He rejected the doctor sent by Damian. Anyway, after soaking in the Lazarus Pool, he will recover soon. There are ingredients prepared by the servant in the refrigerator in advance, and he can eat it for half a month.

Jason leaned on the bed, took a bite of the bread, and chewed it mechanically, looking like he didn't know what to eat.

System: [It's bread again, can I change it to something else. 】

Jason ignored it, picked up the bread crumbs that fell on the bed twice, and lay down peacefully again. A ray of sunlight shone on Jason's face along the gap between the undrawn curtains, which made him uncomfortable. Hide in the dark.

He is indeed not well.

Although he pretended to be nonchalant in front of Damian, his sanity was already in jeopardy at that time. After ensuring Tim's safety, he calmly greeted Damian and shut himself up.

The moment the door closes—

His feet went limp, and he knelt on the ground uncontrollably, breathing heavily, coughing silently and violently, as if he wanted to cough out his lungs.

System: [Skill has been released. 】

Jason stuck his throat, speaking intermittently: [You, you seem to be useless this time. 】

System: [Sorry. 】

This skill, which can always relieve Jason's emotions at critical moments, failed, but the system didn't mean to explain it. It just released its skills over and over again in vain.

This release continued for several days.

With the blessing of skills, Jason is still plagued by extremely serious sleep problems. His biological clock is completely disordered, and he can hardly enter deep sleep. , Jason would grab the bread next to him and force himself to eat it, so that he would be more comfortable after being too emotional and vomiting uncontrollably.

But he can't eat much.

This time too, Jason stopped eating when he felt pressure in his stomach.

The system paused for a moment: [You know what's going on with you, your physical condition will get worse and worse, and you will always feel very tired...]

Yes.

Jason knew what was going on with him, which sounds ridiculous, but it really happened.

The red hood who took countless lives and was able to suppress the sequelae of the Lazarus Pool with just his will had suffered from one of the most common mental illnesses.

—He has PTSD.

This is ridiculous!Those villains who died at the hands of the Red Hood would probably laugh out loud in hell if they found out.

Explosions, casualties, cries, blood... These things are not enough to scare Jason, so that Jason didn't know that he still had this problem before he was really troubled by PTSD.

What really awakens the memory of death is Jason falling out of mid-air uncontrollably, and then spending a moment with the most powerful man in the world.

Superman is the most immediate stressor.

I don't know if it's because he lost his memory. Jason's nightmares never have a specific image. Every time he wakes up, he can only remember the excited and sharp laughter and the phantom pain on his body.

The system tried very hard to talk to him, talking so much that it could be called nagging, but Jason didn't reply a word, he occupied the small space taciturnly, motionless.

He is in pain.

He felt pain all the time, as if every skin on his body had been broken and every bone had been broken.

He was scared.

But he can't show that he is afraid, this is a kind of unreasonable persistence, always acting impeccably as if it has been engraved in his instinct, even when he is alone, he does not allow himself to be exposed.

Fear means weakness, exposing fear means exposing weakness, and people with weaknesses cannot live.

Jason didn't know why he did this, but the system knew why—it wasn't so much a habit as he was forced to form it. Little Jason had lived with his drug-addicted mother in Crime Lane since he was a child, in that kind of place , He just learned to read, so he had to learn to hold a wooden stick and guard the door all night, so as not to be involved in "accidents" accidentally.

At that time, he still had a mother to rely on, and when his mother died, he would not even have a place to go back to, and there was no other way to survive except by stealing and joining some gangs that would call children.

If there are many bad things, there will always be a day when the car overturns. After being caught by the police and leaving a criminal record, little Jason was thrown into the juvenile shelter in Gotham. To put it bluntly, that place is worse than Crime Alley. Gotham minors who know that they will be protected by the law are far more cruel and barbaric than ordinary people imagine.

Hard as a rock—it was Jason's survival instinct.

I might be a masochist, he laughed at himself in his heart, and forcefully suppressed his fear.

The system is talking again: [I know there is a restaurant that is delicious, are you hungry now? 】

The system babbled persistently: [The spicy hot dogs made by the shop owner are simply outstanding, I can still remember the taste. 】

System: [You have always liked it too. 】

The system seldom discusses issues like mental illness healing with Jason. Most of the time, they just talk about something insignificant. Jason twitched his lips and didn't say a word. If he can remember something, he might be able to talk to him The words of the system resonate or respond, but now?

He had an uncontrollable sense of boredom, both with the system and with himself.

Boom, boom.

The door was knocked.

System; [There are guests, it's impolite not to open the door. 】

Jason tilted his head slightly, then stopped moving again.

The door was still ringing, and the guests outside the house knocked rhythmically with an unstoppable momentum.

System: [Don't take it seriously, according to my experience——]

System: [Remove this door for me. 】

System: 【I promise she will say that. 】

As soon as it finished speaking, the heavy iron door slammed down with a loud noise, which made people's ears hurt.

"Stay here and don't let anyone in, including Damian." The woman's voice was a little hoarse, but it was too pleasant, and every syllable seemed to hide a small hook.

Thalia approached unhurriedly, looking down at Jason.

Jason sat up quietly, waiting for Talia's reprimand - he knew that he couldn't hide his current state from her, and he also understood how embarrassing it was to be troubled by PTSD.

Thalia never left anyone who was useless to her, and she let her down.

Talia needs an invincible Red Hood, not a coward.

Under the torment of mental illness, Jason uncontrollably seeks a sense of approval and need in others, but this will form a worse cycle: he is not needed, no one needs him-self-loathing The feeling will only get stronger.

This strong self-loathing made him lower his head unconsciously, avoiding Talia's sight.

He stared intently at the beam of light, in which fine dust flew and circled, and scattered to the ground like stars.

The room was so quiet that Jason could hear his own heartbeat.

He lowered his head, his body became more and more rigid, waiting for the judgment to come without saying a word.

But what was ushered in was not a judgment - but an embrace with a cool and metallic smell.

Thalia's body wasn't soft, and she didn't use much force, she just wrapped loosely around Jason so that Jason could lean on her.

"You've done a great job."

Thalia said without the slightest hesitation.

She felt the stiff and cold body in her arms slowly relax. Jason didn't push her away, nor approached her, but just maintained that uncomfortable position.

Thalia let go of Jason and lifted his face.

"Look, boy, it's not your fault—even my father, he'd be crazy for a while when he crawled out of Lazarus' Pool, and I thought you'd be an exception."

She sighed shallowly: "It seems that you are just a little late."

Jason's green eyes looked bewildered, and he whispered, "I thought it was just me being too wimpy."

"Of course not." The beautiful woman opened her eyes slightly, "Why do you think so?"

"You had a terrible death, Jason. Death is different from death. Some deaths are a wonderful dream, but some deaths."

She paused. "That's hell."

Jason shook his head: "I don't remember how I died."

Tagliamos glanced at Jason's side face: "Memory doesn't mean everything. What happened can't disappear. Just because you forget it doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

The woman's slender fingers slid down slowly, resting on Jason's throat, and pressed his thumb on his Adam's apple, "I remember that death here."

Her fingers continued to slide down, stroking Jason's collarbone, "It remembers breaking it."

Then stay where Jason's heart is.

She asked, "Got it?"

Jason nodded slowly. Seeing this, Thalia withdrew her hand and pulled a chair over to sit down.

"You haven't even had a period of buffer time. The personality of people who have soaked in the Lazarus Pool has changed greatly, but you persisted and were hardly affected." Thalia said in an admiring tone.

Jason rolled his eyes: "But everyone thinks I've changed a lot."

"Huh?" Talia looked at him in surprise.

"Please, it's just that I'm too lazy to explore those shitty things." Jason spread his hands, "I just lost my memory, and it's not like I've become a fool... Those people actually covered it up pretty well."

Thalia smiled, the kind of smile you see when you see an immature boy showing off how smart he is.

Thalia didn't lie. When she and Batman were still in the sweet period, the first time she saw Jason, she asserted that Jason, as the second-generation Robin, just hid his own nature in a cage, and was careful not to let the bat How can a kid who grew up on the streets of Gotham be able to do what Dick Grayson did?That's when Thalia can be sure that sooner or later he and Bruce will break up.

It's just that she didn't expect the consequences of that breakup to be so tragic.

Her thoughts drifted back gradually.

“Don’t be ashamed of your pain,” Thalia said, her green eyes holding something unspeakable. “Accept it, admit it’s a part of you.”

She slowly lit a slender lady's cigarette: "With me, you don't have to follow your father's rules."

The author has something to say:

Well, this episode is finally over, and I'm going to continue sand sculpting!