After I became a divine judge [Comprehensive]

This is the second time I have come to Wanwu, maybe because of the relationship between being retreated and holding hands all the time, the road that I thought was extremely long and unbearable before has become less difficult, and even when I came to Wanwu Give birth to a long-lost feeling of a little joy.

Candlestick cut, Jiang Xue, and Xiaoye went to the food area with us at the entrance to buy the ingredients needed for everyone who came back from the battle. Sanriyue proposed to go to the home appliance area alone, and I followed the original plan. Go directly to the entertainment area to pick up new game discs and cassettes, and add a batch of critically acclaimed "JUMP" to put back on the public bookshelf.

If... hadn't met that person, everything should have gone smoothly and happily like this.

"San Tiao?" When a familiar face appeared in front of me and a familiar voice rang in my ears, the buried sad memories about the past suddenly emerged, almost freezing my blood into ice instantly.

I lowered my head, fighting back the urge to cry, and took a step back.

"I didn't expect you to become a god judge."

"I..." The thin words stuck in the throat could not continue.

"I haven't seen you for two years, you are even more annoying than before." "What are you talking about!?"

I held Luan in front of me with one hand, and retreated with the other. After a long silence, I finally choked out a word: "Go".

Even if I knew that my best friend was just a lie two years ago and used and exploited, I still feel very sad when I hear her say that she hates me so bluntly, as sad as I almost died two years ago.And maybe there is something wrong in my mind, or maybe it's because I really liked the gentleness of friendship given by Shizumi Nakamura so much that I am still the same at this moment, just sad, but not half angry and unwilling Emotion of blame.

I want to be liked, I hope to be recognized, and I am afraid of being hated, so I have to try my best to be submissive and docile, wear off all tempers, and accept all unfair treatment.These are the words I have held as truth.

How stupid.

But now I am also, so humble and stupid looking forward to other people's likes, just like I can't get rid of the influence of that sentence, and I can't get rid of the shadow she brought to me two years ago.

Before going out, I rarely thought optimistically that maybe everything was going in a good direction, and I probably got a little bit of approval from others.

But now, just because of Nakamura Shizumi’s words, I started to feel scared and shaken, afraid of the unknowingly born trust in them, afraid of liking for Mikazuki, afraid of being moved by quitting them, and shaking their love for them. My kindness... Or rather, I am afraid of encountering the same thing as in the past.

Feeling this fear, while being afraid, I also clearly realized my cowardice and uselessness, and I was still the coward who was anxious and unable to face reality in the past.

The book says yes, if you don't face the past and believe in the present, and they have been gentle during this period of time, so the only person who has problems is me.

The one who clearly recognizes the problem but is powerless and dares not change——me.

"My lord..." I turned my head in a daze, and gave a comforting smile to the worried retreat.

What should we do?Very scared, really scared.

……

I don't know how I got back to Honmaru in the end, what other people said and bought on the way, when I came back to my senses, I found that I was already in the bedroom.

The curtains in the bedroom were drawn tightly as always, so no light could come in. I turned over on the bed, hugged the quilt beside me, and buried my face in it.

what time is it?I do not want to see.I felt like my throat was being strangled by something, and I couldn't breathe. The position of my heart was heavy, and I couldn't restrain myself from crying, but I couldn't shed a single tear.It seems that the life I have been experiencing has always been like this, a little bit of hope, and then overwhelming despair, the next second to confirm something, it will be overthrown by reality, and then appear in front of me from time to time to wake up, reminding me of the past. How ridiculous, and how useless I am now.

I feel like I have been divided into two people, one is lying on the bed, tearing my heart in pain and pain, with a distorted expression that seems to want to cry and unloved, and the other is standing by the bed, with an indifferent and desperate expression .

Who will... help me?Once bitten by a snake and afraid of well ropes for ten years, I don't want to be like this either.

But, will you really get real love?This kind of me is like a clown but I can't make people feel happy and joyful like a clown.

"My lord, may I come in?" It was Sanriyue's voice.

I don't want to see anyone now, and Sanriyue is no exception, but after hesitating for two seconds, I grabbed my hair and trotted to open the door.

Because... I can't refuse, especially him, if it is Sanriyue, no matter how difficult the request is, I will still willingly do it without complaint.

The light from outside the door poured into the room the moment the door was opened. I stood on the boundary line between half dark and half bright, lowering my head to watch the unique texture of the fabric on his dark blue coat, and his distinct appearance under the incandescent light. Fair and beautiful fingers.

"Minghu has brought some fried tofu, the Lord will eat it too." His calm, gentle voice made it hard for anyone to refuse.

"...Yes." I took a step forward and walked to his side. My eyes, which had been in the dark for too long, almost overflowed with tears due to the stimulation of the too bright incandescent light.

He said he wanted to eat deep-fried tofu, but Sanriyue didn’t take me to the corridor where I usually stayed, but took me to the hillside with beautiful cherry blossom trees where he had brought me before. Looking at the teapot and cup above, he doesn't seem to be doing it on a whim.

I didn't ask or say anything else, I just quietly poured tea for him and myself, and imitated his posture and sat cross-legged at a distance of one person away from him. ——You can secretly see the distance between his fingers, wrists, neck, face, and hair.

"It's also a very good view from a close distance."

"Yes." Holding the hot tea that was still a little hot, I couldn't help looking at him who was concentrating on watching the scenery.

It’s so beautiful, no matter how many times I look at it, I can’t help sighing, just like the crescent moon in the night sky, its moonlight is gentle and beautiful, and the color is also gentle and beautiful, even though I know it’s far away, it’s still because of that tenderness An illusion that can be touched.

"Let's eat fried tofu together." "Yes." The moment he turned his head, I quickly retracted my gaze and lowered my head. I reached out and took a piece of fried tofu in a little panic, and stuffed it into my mouth as if to cover up something.

……so spicy.

The unspeakable pungentness exploded in the mouth, and rushed straight into the nasal cavity almost instantly, even the Tianling Gai seemed to be penetrated by the pungent smell, choking tears to burst out instantly.

I drank the tea in my hand while crying, but instead of reducing the spiciness, it became even more tormenting. The irritation made my tongue almost curl up into a ball, and my throat felt a burning pain.

It's hot water.I covered my face and burst into tears, crying like a child, without any scruples, ugly as hell.

Sanriyue got up and sat beside me, hugged me gently, and patted my back again and again to comfort me.

If there were other people present, they would definitely find this scene very funny. Afterwards, the spicy taste was gone, but I was still crying, with tears and snot all over my face, but I was sitting upright, and Sanriyue just hugged me like this Patting the back rhythmically, there is an insurmountable gap between intimacy and intimacy.

The author has something to say:

This chapter is a bit heavy, but believe me, the main theme is healing. The so-called healing is to heal the wounds of the past, not to pretend to forget the peace.When I was writing this chapter, I remembered that I heard my best friend say bad things about me in junior high school, which actually annoyed me. I still feel very sad when I think about it, and because of this incident, I was very uneasy when I made friends later.But I was angry for a long time at that time, but now I see her again but I am not angry anymore, I just feel sad.

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