Cannon fodder refuses to recycle!
Chapter 83
Jian's parents and brother Jian confirmed Jian Ze'an's injury up and down, and they were relieved after confirming that it was only a skin trauma.But still distressed.
Because I felt so distressed, I couldn't help scolding this dead child when I thought that I got involved in the incident on my own initiative and got hurt all over.
Jian Ze'an listened obediently with his head down, not daring to refute a word.
The internal fixation operation for a broken arm is not considered a major operation. Xia Heran finished it and went back to the ward in a short while. His arm was wrapped in circles of gauze, like a cocoon, hanging around his neck for fixation.
Although Jian's parents and elder brother scolded Jian Ze'an for not knowing how to protect himself and being a hero, they actually knew that their child did a good thing, and they were somewhat proud of it, let alone angering Xia Heran.Seeing Xia Heran coming out with his arms hanging, he couldn't help feeling pity, and hearing Jian Ze'an say that he had blocked the fracture for himself, seeing Xia Heran's eyes became more gentle, and he kept asking for warmth.
Xia Heran showed a rare shyness, with a reserved look on his face, he asked and answered each sentence, but he couldn't see the valiant posture during the fight at all.
After a few people chatted in the ward, Xia Heran's mother hurried over.
She ran into the ward at a trot all the way, her hair was disheveled, her pale cheeks were blushed because of running, and there was still sweat on her forehead.
This is a very beautiful woman, although there are certain traces of years of wind and frost, fine lines around the eyes, chapped lips, and blue and black eyes due to fatigue, you can still see the beauty of the facial features.
She hurried over and called Xia Heran's name anxiously: "Of course, how are you? Where's the doctor? What did the doctor say?"
Xia Heran, who was shy and cautious in front of Jian's family just now, seemed to be a different person in the blink of an eye.
He comforted his mother in a very mature and reassuring tone, understated that he had nothing to do, and also changed the subject without a trace and asked if his mother's leave would affect his work.
——Obviously, he was used to taking care of his mother.
So much so that at this moment, there is no movement to shout pain or act like a baby, but to care and comfort my mother instead.
Jian's family watched from the side, obviously feeling the change in him, and they all felt a little distressed.
Not to mention Mama Xia herself.
How could she fail to see that her son was afraid that she would be sad and was trying to protect herself?
The emotions she had accumulated since receiving the call finally broke out completely under the gentle comfort of her son.
"Of course, of course." Xia's mother burst into tears. She wanted to hug her son, but seeing the bruises on her son's body, she was afraid of hurting him, so she had nowhere to do it. In the end, she could only hold Xia Heran's fine left hand with both hands. , Tears fell on that hand one by one, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
"Mom? Mom, don't you cry?" Xia Heran panicked and tried to wipe her tears with her left hand, but was held tightly.
Xia's mother almost burst into tears: "It's all my fault, it's all my fault. I thought it would be fine for her to vent her anger if she had to bear it. I never thought that she would not let you go..."
The meaning in these words made Jian's parents and Jian Zeping, who were embarrassed by her sudden crying, look at each other thoughtfully.
"I'm sorry, Xia Heran's mother, I would like to ask you, do you know who hurt classmate Xiaoxia and my son?"
Mother Jane spoke.
"...It should be her, it can only be her." Mama Xia paused for a long time and said in a low voice.
Mother Jane couldn't help asking: "Who is it?"
Her son was beaten so badly, she would never let her go!
But Xia's mother showed a look of difficulty and struggle, as if she had something hard to say.
Her reaction made everyone, including Xia Heran, bewildered and waited anxiously.Only Jian Ze'an, thinking of the plot in the dream, seemed to realize something.
Xia's mother was finally embarrassed by Xia Heran's questioning, but still slowly expressed her guess.
"Of course, do you still remember... When you were young, you were called a wild child without a father, you were bullied, and you cried and asked me for a father..."
Mama Xia's tone was difficult.
Xia Heran looked at her mother's painful and struggling expression and immediately said: "Mom, I was ignorant at the time. It's been so many years, and I'm not the kid I was back then..."
Xia's mother shook her head: "Let me tell you, your father died in a car accident, but it wasn't true."
Then she painfully revealed the past that she had been hiding deeply and unwilling to reveal.
That was the past she didn't want to look back on, and she thought that the pain and suffering of these years was her own retribution.But now...now that even her child and even another innocent teenager were involved, she couldn't continue to hide it.
So Xia Heran knew for the first time, he always thought that his father who died in a car accident when he was five years old was not dead.
Everything that happened that year was nothing more than a poor but happy young woman who was knocked at the door by an imposing woman. While her home was smashed to pieces, she learned a piece of news that shattered her soul:
My husband is not my husband.The man she thought she loved and supported each other had a wife and children long ago, and he was not a clerk who often traveled on business, but a "son-in-law" who was promoted step by step in the famous Huatian Group by marrying the daughter of the Hua family. ".
As for himself, he was actually a "little three".The precious son I thought was the crystallization of love turned out to be an illegitimate child.
At that time, household registration information was still relatively confusing, and the information in different places was often inconsistent.
Xia's mother and her "husband" have a marriage certificate, and she doesn't believe what people say.But the daughter of the Hua family took out a marriage certificate that was issued in another city three years earlier than her marriage.Although the names are different, the man looks very familiar in the photo.
The young mother Xia was burned inside, she didn't believe it, and she didn't want to believe it, and she didn't even care about the group of big men who beat up at home, she just dragged the Hua family's daughter in despair:
"You lied to me! Tell Gu Yuanxin to come out! I want to hear from him, from his own mouth!"
The proud woman smiled contemptuously: "Gu Yuanxin? A joke. I only know Gu Mingcheng. Gu Mingcheng, get out."
In Xia's mother's eye-opening eyes, a timid figure walked in from the corridor outside the door, never daring to meet the eyes of any woman: "Wan Yun, I'm sorry."
...It turned out that the "husband" with whom she had been together for six years even had a false name.
Xia Wanyun looked at that familiar but strange man, and her world completely collapsed.
"... Gu Yuan... Gu Mingcheng's wife told me to take my son and get out of City W. She is the daughter of a rich family, and I am just an ordinary woman with only a junior high school education. I can't resist. And I feel ashamed, too shameful. "
Xia's mother shook her head and shed tears, "Although I am not from a scholarly family or a wealthy family, I was taught by my family to live a clean life since I was a child... I never thought that I would become a 'little three'. I I couldn't stay in City W, so I took Ranran and moved away. But I didn't expect that Ms. Hua would not let me go. Every time I couldn't stay in a place for two years, someone would come to my door and say that I owed money and asked I will pay back the money; others say that I... that I am in that kind of business..."
Xia Wanyun couldn't express such dirty water that was too despicable and shameless for a woman.But her broken expression also let others see what she was talking about.
Xia Heran's whole body tensed up, like a bow that was fully stretched, and the bowstring was about to break.
"Mom! Why didn't you tell me!"
He didn't know what his mother said.Although he always moves in his memory and always meets unfriendly neighbors, he has never seen anyone come to his house to ask for debts, so he really doesn't know that such harassment has lasted for so many years, and the haunting of moving is still lingering .
And his mother covered her face and dared not look at him: "You are a child, can I tell you? Besides, you are too sensible, so sensible that I think I am not worthy of being a mother. Because of me, you are constantly Moving, no friends; also because of me, those kids scolded you for not having a father, and you were always bullied by them. But what about you? Never cried to me, but comforted me. I’m not good at being a mother, I know I’m useless , so that you can't live a good life. But I can't offend the Hua family. I called the police, but those people said that they were debt collectors. They cheated at the police station. I didn't suffer any substantial personal injury, and the police basically didn't care. What else can I do besides taking you to keep moving... But I didn't expect it, I didn't expect it..."
She put down her hands, showing a face full of tears: "It's fine if they come to me, why do they want to harm you?"
Xia's mother cried until her shoulders trembled, and Jian's family was filled with righteous indignation after hearing the experience of the mother and son.
"Too much deceit!" Jane's mother said angrily, "It's obvious that the surname Gu is shameless and cheating. This Ms. Hua didn't settle accounts with that man, so why should she bully the victim?"
They didn't suspect that Mama Xia was lying.
First of all, in terms of temperament, Xia's mother is a woman with a good temperament all over her body.Furthermore, if it is the kind of person who wants to get something for nothing and become a mistress, even if he steals the chicken and gets rid of the rice by the other wife, he still cannot survive more than ten years of poverty and raise a child.
People who are used to taking shortcuts and letting go of the bottom line do not have this tenacity.
Just by looking at the rough hands of the other party, you can tell how miserable she is.
To put it bluntly, this woman is still very beautiful. If she really wanted to take a shortcut, she wouldn't be so miserable these years.
And Papa Jian and Jian Zeping looked at each other, both pondering.
Father Jane said: "The Hua family you are talking about is the Hua family of the Huatian Group in W City? Is Ms. Hua's name Hua Jingnan? The husband is Gu Mingcheng?"
Mama Xia nodded.
"Speaking of which, at the beginning of this year, the Huatian Group's palace changed. Mr. Hua passed away, and his wife passed away the year before last. Their only daughter is Hua Jingnan. After some fighting, the Huatian Group is now basically a success. It is an empty shell, only non-performing assets are left, and high-quality companies and businesses have been transferred to Chengming Group, which is controlled by Gu Mingcheng. Last month, a financial magazine also speculated that Gu Mingcheng is already the richest man in City W."
Jian Zeping introduced.
Xia's mother has a relatively low education, so she has very little knowledge in this area, and she doesn't quite understand: "What does this mean?"
"It means that after Mr. Hua's death, Gu Mingcheng used various methods to transfer and embezzle the assets of the Hua family. Now the dust has settled in the struggle. Between him and Ms. Hua, Gu Mingcheng now has the upper hand."
Jian Zeping explained.
"So, why?" Mama Xia asked blankly.
"So if you want to solve this problem simply, it's actually not difficult. The easiest way is for us to contact Gu Mingcheng for you - we still have this channel."
Mother Jane said that although she said this, she actually disagreed in her heart, but thinking about the miserable experience of the mother and child, she really couldn't speak up with any backbone.The misfortune of the mother and son was caused by Gu Mingcheng in the final analysis, and he should have taken the responsibility, as well as the child support.
"Maybe Gu Mingcheng didn't know that his wife was causing trouble for you before. Maybe he knew but didn't dare to take care of it. But no matter what the situation is, now his and Ms. Hua's positions are reversed. If he wants to protect you, Ms. Hua can't help it."
However, Mother Xia reacted violently when she heard the words:
"I don't look for him! What am I doing if I look for him? My suffering for so many years is because I became a 'little three' back then. I hate Hua Jingnan, but I hate Gu Mingcheng even more! No matter how cruel Hua Jingnan is to me She is kind to Gu Mingcheng. It wasn't for her to marry Gu Mingcheng. How could Gu Mingcheng live a good life and be a manager? Now that Huajingnan's father is dead, he can't wait to swallow her property, white-eyed wolf! I want to find He protects me, what have I become? Then he is a white-eyed wolf who sucks the blood of his wife's family, and I am a shameless mistress who wastes money from the white-eyed wolf's wife? Am I still a human?"
She finished talking in a sudden, without panting in the middle, and realized that this was not her own business, so she went to see her son cautiously:
"Of course. I'm sorry, mom forgot to ask you. You... What do you think? Do you want a father?...Actually, your biological father should indeed support you..."
"I don't have a father." Xia Heran's eyes were deep and heavy, "My father died in a car accident when I was five years old. I only have my mother."
He looked at his mother, as stubborn as a little wolf cub.
Xia's mother couldn't hold back, the tears that had been shed before were stained all over her face again.
Jane's family watched with respect and distress.
"If that's the case...then if Gu Mingcheng is slightly affected when we seek justice for our family, Ze'an, you two shouldn't have any objections, right?"
Jian Zeping calmed down the mother and son and asked.
Xia's mother was stunned, and looked at the Jian family one by one, only now did she realize that this family seemed to have an extraordinary temperament, and then heard that they were so calmly going to face Gu Mingcheng, the richest man in City W, and suddenly realized that the energy of this family might be very high generally.
She felt a little uncomfortable: the same child was beaten, and the parents could speak so confidently to seek justice for the child, but she could only hold her son and cry... She felt sorry for Xia Heran for a while, but it was nothing With other thoughts, I don't feel at all that Jian's family will affect Gu Mingcheng.
That person, after so many years, not to mention love, even hate, because of the struggle in life, he can't take care of it.
She nodded: "You can do whatever you want at home, Gu Mingcheng has nothing to do with us."
The author has something to say: Xiaoxia is really suffering, the more I write, the more distressed I feel.
Because I felt so distressed, I couldn't help scolding this dead child when I thought that I got involved in the incident on my own initiative and got hurt all over.
Jian Ze'an listened obediently with his head down, not daring to refute a word.
The internal fixation operation for a broken arm is not considered a major operation. Xia Heran finished it and went back to the ward in a short while. His arm was wrapped in circles of gauze, like a cocoon, hanging around his neck for fixation.
Although Jian's parents and elder brother scolded Jian Ze'an for not knowing how to protect himself and being a hero, they actually knew that their child did a good thing, and they were somewhat proud of it, let alone angering Xia Heran.Seeing Xia Heran coming out with his arms hanging, he couldn't help feeling pity, and hearing Jian Ze'an say that he had blocked the fracture for himself, seeing Xia Heran's eyes became more gentle, and he kept asking for warmth.
Xia Heran showed a rare shyness, with a reserved look on his face, he asked and answered each sentence, but he couldn't see the valiant posture during the fight at all.
After a few people chatted in the ward, Xia Heran's mother hurried over.
She ran into the ward at a trot all the way, her hair was disheveled, her pale cheeks were blushed because of running, and there was still sweat on her forehead.
This is a very beautiful woman, although there are certain traces of years of wind and frost, fine lines around the eyes, chapped lips, and blue and black eyes due to fatigue, you can still see the beauty of the facial features.
She hurried over and called Xia Heran's name anxiously: "Of course, how are you? Where's the doctor? What did the doctor say?"
Xia Heran, who was shy and cautious in front of Jian's family just now, seemed to be a different person in the blink of an eye.
He comforted his mother in a very mature and reassuring tone, understated that he had nothing to do, and also changed the subject without a trace and asked if his mother's leave would affect his work.
——Obviously, he was used to taking care of his mother.
So much so that at this moment, there is no movement to shout pain or act like a baby, but to care and comfort my mother instead.
Jian's family watched from the side, obviously feeling the change in him, and they all felt a little distressed.
Not to mention Mama Xia herself.
How could she fail to see that her son was afraid that she would be sad and was trying to protect herself?
The emotions she had accumulated since receiving the call finally broke out completely under the gentle comfort of her son.
"Of course, of course." Xia's mother burst into tears. She wanted to hug her son, but seeing the bruises on her son's body, she was afraid of hurting him, so she had nowhere to do it. In the end, she could only hold Xia Heran's fine left hand with both hands. , Tears fell on that hand one by one, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
"Mom? Mom, don't you cry?" Xia Heran panicked and tried to wipe her tears with her left hand, but was held tightly.
Xia's mother almost burst into tears: "It's all my fault, it's all my fault. I thought it would be fine for her to vent her anger if she had to bear it. I never thought that she would not let you go..."
The meaning in these words made Jian's parents and Jian Zeping, who were embarrassed by her sudden crying, look at each other thoughtfully.
"I'm sorry, Xia Heran's mother, I would like to ask you, do you know who hurt classmate Xiaoxia and my son?"
Mother Jane spoke.
"...It should be her, it can only be her." Mama Xia paused for a long time and said in a low voice.
Mother Jane couldn't help asking: "Who is it?"
Her son was beaten so badly, she would never let her go!
But Xia's mother showed a look of difficulty and struggle, as if she had something hard to say.
Her reaction made everyone, including Xia Heran, bewildered and waited anxiously.Only Jian Ze'an, thinking of the plot in the dream, seemed to realize something.
Xia's mother was finally embarrassed by Xia Heran's questioning, but still slowly expressed her guess.
"Of course, do you still remember... When you were young, you were called a wild child without a father, you were bullied, and you cried and asked me for a father..."
Mama Xia's tone was difficult.
Xia Heran looked at her mother's painful and struggling expression and immediately said: "Mom, I was ignorant at the time. It's been so many years, and I'm not the kid I was back then..."
Xia's mother shook her head: "Let me tell you, your father died in a car accident, but it wasn't true."
Then she painfully revealed the past that she had been hiding deeply and unwilling to reveal.
That was the past she didn't want to look back on, and she thought that the pain and suffering of these years was her own retribution.But now...now that even her child and even another innocent teenager were involved, she couldn't continue to hide it.
So Xia Heran knew for the first time, he always thought that his father who died in a car accident when he was five years old was not dead.
Everything that happened that year was nothing more than a poor but happy young woman who was knocked at the door by an imposing woman. While her home was smashed to pieces, she learned a piece of news that shattered her soul:
My husband is not my husband.The man she thought she loved and supported each other had a wife and children long ago, and he was not a clerk who often traveled on business, but a "son-in-law" who was promoted step by step in the famous Huatian Group by marrying the daughter of the Hua family. ".
As for himself, he was actually a "little three".The precious son I thought was the crystallization of love turned out to be an illegitimate child.
At that time, household registration information was still relatively confusing, and the information in different places was often inconsistent.
Xia's mother and her "husband" have a marriage certificate, and she doesn't believe what people say.But the daughter of the Hua family took out a marriage certificate that was issued in another city three years earlier than her marriage.Although the names are different, the man looks very familiar in the photo.
The young mother Xia was burned inside, she didn't believe it, and she didn't want to believe it, and she didn't even care about the group of big men who beat up at home, she just dragged the Hua family's daughter in despair:
"You lied to me! Tell Gu Yuanxin to come out! I want to hear from him, from his own mouth!"
The proud woman smiled contemptuously: "Gu Yuanxin? A joke. I only know Gu Mingcheng. Gu Mingcheng, get out."
In Xia's mother's eye-opening eyes, a timid figure walked in from the corridor outside the door, never daring to meet the eyes of any woman: "Wan Yun, I'm sorry."
...It turned out that the "husband" with whom she had been together for six years even had a false name.
Xia Wanyun looked at that familiar but strange man, and her world completely collapsed.
"... Gu Yuan... Gu Mingcheng's wife told me to take my son and get out of City W. She is the daughter of a rich family, and I am just an ordinary woman with only a junior high school education. I can't resist. And I feel ashamed, too shameful. "
Xia's mother shook her head and shed tears, "Although I am not from a scholarly family or a wealthy family, I was taught by my family to live a clean life since I was a child... I never thought that I would become a 'little three'. I I couldn't stay in City W, so I took Ranran and moved away. But I didn't expect that Ms. Hua would not let me go. Every time I couldn't stay in a place for two years, someone would come to my door and say that I owed money and asked I will pay back the money; others say that I... that I am in that kind of business..."
Xia Wanyun couldn't express such dirty water that was too despicable and shameless for a woman.But her broken expression also let others see what she was talking about.
Xia Heran's whole body tensed up, like a bow that was fully stretched, and the bowstring was about to break.
"Mom! Why didn't you tell me!"
He didn't know what his mother said.Although he always moves in his memory and always meets unfriendly neighbors, he has never seen anyone come to his house to ask for debts, so he really doesn't know that such harassment has lasted for so many years, and the haunting of moving is still lingering .
And his mother covered her face and dared not look at him: "You are a child, can I tell you? Besides, you are too sensible, so sensible that I think I am not worthy of being a mother. Because of me, you are constantly Moving, no friends; also because of me, those kids scolded you for not having a father, and you were always bullied by them. But what about you? Never cried to me, but comforted me. I’m not good at being a mother, I know I’m useless , so that you can't live a good life. But I can't offend the Hua family. I called the police, but those people said that they were debt collectors. They cheated at the police station. I didn't suffer any substantial personal injury, and the police basically didn't care. What else can I do besides taking you to keep moving... But I didn't expect it, I didn't expect it..."
She put down her hands, showing a face full of tears: "It's fine if they come to me, why do they want to harm you?"
Xia's mother cried until her shoulders trembled, and Jian's family was filled with righteous indignation after hearing the experience of the mother and son.
"Too much deceit!" Jane's mother said angrily, "It's obvious that the surname Gu is shameless and cheating. This Ms. Hua didn't settle accounts with that man, so why should she bully the victim?"
They didn't suspect that Mama Xia was lying.
First of all, in terms of temperament, Xia's mother is a woman with a good temperament all over her body.Furthermore, if it is the kind of person who wants to get something for nothing and become a mistress, even if he steals the chicken and gets rid of the rice by the other wife, he still cannot survive more than ten years of poverty and raise a child.
People who are used to taking shortcuts and letting go of the bottom line do not have this tenacity.
Just by looking at the rough hands of the other party, you can tell how miserable she is.
To put it bluntly, this woman is still very beautiful. If she really wanted to take a shortcut, she wouldn't be so miserable these years.
And Papa Jian and Jian Zeping looked at each other, both pondering.
Father Jane said: "The Hua family you are talking about is the Hua family of the Huatian Group in W City? Is Ms. Hua's name Hua Jingnan? The husband is Gu Mingcheng?"
Mama Xia nodded.
"Speaking of which, at the beginning of this year, the Huatian Group's palace changed. Mr. Hua passed away, and his wife passed away the year before last. Their only daughter is Hua Jingnan. After some fighting, the Huatian Group is now basically a success. It is an empty shell, only non-performing assets are left, and high-quality companies and businesses have been transferred to Chengming Group, which is controlled by Gu Mingcheng. Last month, a financial magazine also speculated that Gu Mingcheng is already the richest man in City W."
Jian Zeping introduced.
Xia's mother has a relatively low education, so she has very little knowledge in this area, and she doesn't quite understand: "What does this mean?"
"It means that after Mr. Hua's death, Gu Mingcheng used various methods to transfer and embezzle the assets of the Hua family. Now the dust has settled in the struggle. Between him and Ms. Hua, Gu Mingcheng now has the upper hand."
Jian Zeping explained.
"So, why?" Mama Xia asked blankly.
"So if you want to solve this problem simply, it's actually not difficult. The easiest way is for us to contact Gu Mingcheng for you - we still have this channel."
Mother Jane said that although she said this, she actually disagreed in her heart, but thinking about the miserable experience of the mother and child, she really couldn't speak up with any backbone.The misfortune of the mother and son was caused by Gu Mingcheng in the final analysis, and he should have taken the responsibility, as well as the child support.
"Maybe Gu Mingcheng didn't know that his wife was causing trouble for you before. Maybe he knew but didn't dare to take care of it. But no matter what the situation is, now his and Ms. Hua's positions are reversed. If he wants to protect you, Ms. Hua can't help it."
However, Mother Xia reacted violently when she heard the words:
"I don't look for him! What am I doing if I look for him? My suffering for so many years is because I became a 'little three' back then. I hate Hua Jingnan, but I hate Gu Mingcheng even more! No matter how cruel Hua Jingnan is to me She is kind to Gu Mingcheng. It wasn't for her to marry Gu Mingcheng. How could Gu Mingcheng live a good life and be a manager? Now that Huajingnan's father is dead, he can't wait to swallow her property, white-eyed wolf! I want to find He protects me, what have I become? Then he is a white-eyed wolf who sucks the blood of his wife's family, and I am a shameless mistress who wastes money from the white-eyed wolf's wife? Am I still a human?"
She finished talking in a sudden, without panting in the middle, and realized that this was not her own business, so she went to see her son cautiously:
"Of course. I'm sorry, mom forgot to ask you. You... What do you think? Do you want a father?...Actually, your biological father should indeed support you..."
"I don't have a father." Xia Heran's eyes were deep and heavy, "My father died in a car accident when I was five years old. I only have my mother."
He looked at his mother, as stubborn as a little wolf cub.
Xia's mother couldn't hold back, the tears that had been shed before were stained all over her face again.
Jane's family watched with respect and distress.
"If that's the case...then if Gu Mingcheng is slightly affected when we seek justice for our family, Ze'an, you two shouldn't have any objections, right?"
Jian Zeping calmed down the mother and son and asked.
Xia's mother was stunned, and looked at the Jian family one by one, only now did she realize that this family seemed to have an extraordinary temperament, and then heard that they were so calmly going to face Gu Mingcheng, the richest man in City W, and suddenly realized that the energy of this family might be very high generally.
She felt a little uncomfortable: the same child was beaten, and the parents could speak so confidently to seek justice for the child, but she could only hold her son and cry... She felt sorry for Xia Heran for a while, but it was nothing With other thoughts, I don't feel at all that Jian's family will affect Gu Mingcheng.
That person, after so many years, not to mention love, even hate, because of the struggle in life, he can't take care of it.
She nodded: "You can do whatever you want at home, Gu Mingcheng has nothing to do with us."
The author has something to say: Xiaoxia is really suffering, the more I write, the more distressed I feel.
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