my boyfriend is too random

As Luo Yang said, Ding Zimu is a foolish person. He has the clearest goal and the purest mind, so he uses the most direct and honest way to achieve his goal.

He would stay up late with Yang Yiming, one sitting in the study reading materials, the other sitting in the living room reading, with the scent of coffee or supper in between.After three or two times, Yang Yiming was worried that Ding Zimu wouldn't be able to rest well, so he didn't dare to stay up all night. In order to finish his work in the unit, he almost used up his lunch break. Zhou Pei jokingly asked him if he planned to compete for teaching and research next semester member.

He also started to help Yang Yiming tidy up the bedroom. At first, he sorted out the scattered materials on the bed, and later included the sheets and quilts. One day Yang Yiming came home from get off work and found that his dirty socks and trousers thrown by the bed had been washed.So Yang Yiming developed excellent hygienic habits. Dirty socks must be washed on the same day, and clothes should be placed in the washing machine in the bathroom in an orderly manner, and they will not be thrown casually.

He will also help Yang Yiming to appease those half-grown boys who are furious or depressed girls.On the weekend when Ding Zimu was resting, he could spend an afternoon in the living room with a depressed little girl in a daze.Talk to her a few words from time to time, continue to be in a daze if you don't get a response, and slowly lead her to talk when you get a response.Soon, Yang Yiming found that his clients could accept such a gentle and quiet person, and sometimes Ding Zimu, who Yang Yiming couldn't appease, would always receive miraculous results.

Yang Yiming looked at Ding Zimu, and felt a strange feeling in his heart: in the past, he was integrated into Ding Zimu's life, but now Ding Zimu has entered his own world. He has changed from a passive recipient to an active contender. .Although Yang Yiming is very happy to see this change in Ding Zimu, he is uneasy about Ding Zimu's more and more eyes on himself.

In this anxiety, he received an email from Professor Friedman. After the two exchanged their assessment of Ding Zimu, the professor said happily: "Yang, I think you have done a very good job. Now you can try He went to communicate with the other avatars, which will help them understand each other and prepare for the next step."

Yang Yiming wrote: I completely agree with you, I will try to guide him.

Professor Friedman continued: There is another thing. I think it is not enough to help him integrate into normal social life. What is more important is to let him have a complete emotional life. In the final analysis, DID is caused by emotional and psychological trauma, and stable and safe emotional care is very necessary for him.Therefore, encourage him to pursue a normal, safe, stable, and happy emotional life.

Yang Yiming stared at the line of words on the screen and sent in a daze for 5 minutes, and the professor didn't send any more emails, so the screen dimmed slowly, and Yang Yiming felt his heart sinking gradually. The word "normal" hurt him deeply. For the first time, he really thought about what kind of relationship Ding Zimu needed from the perspective of a social person rather than a patient.

It is inevitable to be long and sincere. Ding Zimu's emotional world is blank and deserted, which cannot be nourished by a wave of tide.Normal and considerate, this cannot be ignored. What a child growing up in an abnormal family needs is a normal relationship and life, and he was treated like that by a man.

Yang Yiming feels that he has no right and qualification to drag Ding Zimu's future into an "abnormal" life state, and his duty should be to help Ding Zimu pursue a "normal" life in the next few decades.

It's really painful, Yang Yiming thought, he didn't know how much pain he had to watch Ding Zimu go to a "normal" life, and he didn't know how long it would take to get rid of all this.

***

Ding Zimu didn't know Yang Yiming's pain, he was just anxious.Every morning when he opened his eyes, his subconscious mind would immediately start searching his brain, grabbing out the pictures hidden in the deepest part and scanning them quickly. He was sure that he still remembered every detail of getting along with Yang Yiming, and then he let out a long breath, Allow yourself to relax.

Luo Yang called Ding Zimu to ask what was going on, and Ding Zimu said, "It's okay, but I still dare not tell him."

"Why?" Luo Yang was puzzled.

"He will avoid it." Ding Zimu said affirmatively, "He will definitely avoid it, and he will hand me over to Professor Friedman."

Luo Yang said sadly: "Then what should I do? Mumu, what do you want to do?"

Ding Zimu didn't speak, and said anxiously for a while: "I don't know, I...try hard to make him like me."

In fact, Yang Yiming was even more disturbed than Ding Zimu.

A lot of things, when you have no doubts, it is a mass of void; once you have the slightest doubt, that doubt will expand infinitely, Yang Yiming can feel Ding Zimu's ubiquitous gaze, but he quickly hides as soon as he touches it. He found that Ding Zimu would avoid his own touch. In the past, he could hold Ding Zimu's shoulder casually, but now Ding Zimu's ears would turn red as soon as his hand was stretched out; he found that Ding Zimu was getting more and more He likes to stay by his side, in the living room, dining room, and bedroom. By giving a cup of tea, borrowing a pen, or asking a question, Ding Zimu follows him in an unobtrusive way.

Yang Yiming is caught in a dilemma: one step forward or one step back will bring unpredictable consequences.So he became cautious when contacting Ding Zimu, he no longer dared to easily hug his shoulders, nor indulged his eyes to entangle him, but he also dared not blatantly alienate him.

Yang Yiming was so entangled that he wanted to go to Zhou Pei for a consultation.

Ding Zimu didn't know Yang Yiming's entanglement, but he faintly felt that Yang Yiming was alienating him, and this alienation was just a specious feeling.Several times when he caught Yang Yiming's eyes, Yang Yiming no longer raised his eyebrows at him and asked "what's the matter" like before, but turned his eyes to look elsewhere.So Ding Zimu was a little uneasy. He suspected that he was too active to annoy Yang Yiming, and he also suspected that Yang Yiming thought he was ready and wanted him to go.

Ding Zimu became more and more nervous, so that sometimes he would be in a daze when making dim sum, and his mind was full of Yang Yiming's shadow.Yuan Qiao stood at the door of the operating room with arms folded and asked, "Mumu, if you wait a while longer, we can throw away all the pineapple buns."

Ding Zimu frantically turned on the oven, trying to grab the plate without gloves.Yuan Qiao yelled and rushed over, grabbed Ding Zimu's shoulders and put them in his arms: "Be careful!"

Ding Zimu was a little dazed by the sound of drinking, and when he came to his senses, he found that Yuan Qiao had embraced himself in his arms, wrapped his left hand around his chest to hold him firmly, and stretched his right hand across his cheek Pushed it back against the oven door.

"Uh...thank you, Brother Yuan." Ding Zimu looked at the refrigerator door with lingering fear.Probably because of being frightened, Ding Zimu's back broke out in a layer of sweat, and he felt warm against Yuan Qiao's chest.

"What are you thinking?" Yuan Qiao said dissatisfied, "Look how dangerous it is."

Ding Zimu shook his head and thanked: "I didn't think about anything, I was just a little distracted."

Yuan Qiao called a pastry chef to take over Ding Zimu's remaining work, and then dragged Ding Zimu to the office.He asked Ding Zimu to sit down, brought him a cup of milk tea from the front desk, then sat beside him and said with a smile: "Speak!"

"Say... what?" Ding Zimu blinked, a little confused.

"Tell me what's bothering you recently," Yuan Qiao said, "Mumu, look, I've eaten more sugar than you for a few years, and I have seen more people. I can almost understand your little troubles." Guessing is close to ten."

Ding Zimu coughed in embarrassment: "Brother Yuan, what's bothering me?"

"No?" Yuan Qiao rolled his eyes and looked at the ceiling, sighed exaggeratedly, and said in a flowery voice: "Ah! Love, you are the last rose in summer, beautiful and depressing .”

Ding Zimu's heartbeat suddenly accelerated, and he blushed so much that he was too embarrassed to deny it.

"How is it?" Yuan Qiao said triumphantly, "Admiration for me, I am quite rare for a smart person."

"Brother Yuan, I have goosebumps." Ding Zimu rubbed his arms and lowered his head.

Yuan Qiao put away his unscrupulous face and said seriously: "Would you like to tell me?"

"I, I don't know what to say."

"Then let me give you a head start." Yuan Qiao said in a tone, "'Brother Yuan, I like Teacher Yang, I don't know what to do', well, you can continue to talk about the rest."

Ding Zimu looked up at Yuan Qiao in shock: "Yuan, Yuan, Yuan..."

"I'm not round," Yuan Qiao interrupted Ding Zimu's stammer, "I think I have a good figure, but I'm not round at all. Don't you think I actually look like a baguette?"

Ding Zimu couldn't help laughing, his eyes were red when he smiled.

"Hey, hey," Yuan Qiao grabbed a tissue from the table and patted Ding Zimu's face, "Don't cry, if you let Teacher Yang know that I made you cry, he will kill me."

Ding Zimu sniffled and said in a muffled voice, "No."

"Yes, he can eat me to death, you know, I've never seen a man who can eat desserts like that."

"He's a man." Ding Zimu picked up Yuan Qiao's words, raised his eyes to look at Yuan Qiao, "Brother Yuan, although I know this is wrong, I don't want to..."

"Wait, tell me what's wrong first?" Yuan Qiao asked jokingly, "What's wrong with liking a man."

"Where... where?" Ding Zimu froze for a moment, "Men, you can't get married, you won't have children, everyone will gossip."

"Is there a law that stipulates that people who love each other must get married? Are there marriages and divorces? Are there social security regulations that couples must have children? Gossiping? Let me tell you, there is no one in this world who is not gossiped. You, Brother Yuan Don't mind if you speak badly, you are alone, you have no parents, no relatives, if others gossip, as long as you can handle it yourself, who do you care about?"

Ding Zimu stared at Yuan Qiao dumbfounded, and muttered for a while: "Brother Yuan, in fact, the second part of my sentence is 'I don't want to give up on him either'."

Yuan Qiao looked at him for a while and said, "Boy, can I give you a hug?"

"What...for what?"

"No reason." Yuan Qiao took Ding Zimu into his arms and patted him on the back vigorously while talking, "That's great, I just like your stubbornness."

"Stubbornness... is it a compliment?"

"You can just take it as a compliment." Yuan Qiao let go of his hand and looked at Ding Zimu with a smile, "Well, tell me, if this is the case, what else do you worry about?"

"I think Teacher Yang...maybe..."

"Don't like you?" Yuan Qiao continued for him.

"Yeah. And I'm afraid Teacher Yang will let me go. Consultants can't have emotional entanglements with patients... What should I do?"

Yuan Qiao looked at him and said, "Mumu, actually I don't think Yang Yiming is suitable for you, no, to be precise, you are not suitable for Yang Yiming."

Ding Zimu's face turned pale instantly.

"In addition to what you just worried about, in fact, you have been ignoring a very important issue, that is, he is a teacher, regardless of whether he teaches classes or not. He holds a teacher's professional qualification certificate, works in the district education committee, and goes in and out every day. In primary and secondary schools, social morality and public opinion are fatal to his career. If this happens, he will definitely lose his job, and with such a history, it will be difficult for him to engage in related occupations in the future. What do you think Have you been?"

Ding Zimu shook his head in a daze, his eyes were empty and unfocused.

Yuan Qiao stretched out his hand to hold Ding Zimu's hand in his palm, Ding Zimu trembled slightly, lowered his eyes to look at the two pairs of intertwined hands, then raised his head to look at Yuan Qiao in a daze.

"Mumu, do you remember what I told you in the operating room a month ago?"

Ding Zimu shook his head.

"I said I like you. At that time you were so scared that you even used honorifics." Yuan Qiao raised Ding Zimu's hand, put it on his lips and kissed it gently, very lightly, so light that Ding Zimu Wood barely notices.

"Mumu, I like you." Yuan Qiao said solemnly, "I don't have any family burden, I can be responsible for all my words and deeds today, I have an independent financial foundation, I have this store. I can give you a Home, let you own this bakery, where you can do what you want. You see, with me, you have a shop, a lover, and every day is sweet. If you don't want to work, we can close it If you want to bask in the sun, we can put a swing chair in the sun room at the back; if you want to make a sandwich with a strange flavor, I can make the sauce for you; Take you to Switzerland; if you want to get married, we can try immigration..."

Yuan Qiao smiled and said: "Look, how suitable we are! We won't put pressure on each other, won't cause any trouble to each other, our life goals and interests are all the same, even... I don't care much about up and down. "

Ding Zimu blinked his eyes lightly, trying to make a smile but tears flowed down his face.

Yuan Qiao took out a paper towel to help Ding Zimu wipe it, but soon he found that it was futile, and Ding Zimu's tears couldn't be stopped no matter what.

"Okay," Yuan Qiao sighed, "Looks like I will definitely be beaten by Teacher Yang tonight." He held Ding Zimu's hand in his arms, hugged him and said, "Cry, cry enough."

So Ding Zimu really kept crying.He didn't really understand why he was crying, but the tears couldn't stop.He also wanted to straighten up like a man and talk to Yuan Qiao freely, but he didn't know where to start when he was full of words.His mind slid through the violent childhood scenes, Mr. Feng's pity eyes flashed, and Yang Yiming's smiling face flashed. Finally he thought of Brother Zheng. He remembered that Brother Zheng once touched his head and said: "Mu Mu Ah, who else but me can truly love you?"

After an unknown amount of time, Ding Zimu's crying gradually subsided.His red and swollen eyes could hardly be opened, Yuan Qiao got up and went to the refrigerator, wrapped a pack of ice cubes in a towel and handed it to him: "A cold compress, the rabbit's eyes are prettier than yours."

Ding Zimu took it over and covered his eyes. In fact, he didn't care whether he looked good or not, but he knew that if Yang Yiming found out that he had cried, Yuan Qiao would definitely be accused; moreover, there were some things he couldn't say when he looked at Yuan Qiao.

"Brother Yuan," Ding Zimu whispered, "I..."

"If you want to reject me, think about it and say it softly." Yuan Qiao said.

Ding Zimu suddenly didn't know how to speak, and Yuan Qiao blocked his words by retreating.

So the room became quiet, the sunlight outside the window slanted down little by little, and the heat from the heater made Yuan Qiao feel a little dazed.He glanced at Ding Zimu who was always covering his eyes and smiled wryly, what did he say?The result is already known, isn't it?From the first day when I met Ding Zimu, this handsome boy's gaze never stayed on him for a minute!No matter how much I did for him, what I got in exchange was just a "thank you". He called himself "brother", and perhaps the best ending in his life would be to become Mumu's "big brother".

Are you willing?Of course not, but life is such a fucking thing, one step earlier or one step later, what is missed is a lifetime.If, just if, I can get to know him earlier than Yang Yiming, will this boy be able to spend his life safely under his protection?

Yuan Qiao couldn't help sighing.

Ding Zimu spoke softly: "Brother Yuan, I don't know how to say it..."

Yuan Qiao couldn't help but rolled his eyes and sighed even louder: "Dare you kid really think about how to reject me."

"I……"

"Okay. In fact, I always knew that you liked Yang Yiming. From the beginning, you never let others go in your eyes."

Ding Zimu remained silent.

Yuan Qiao said: "Mumu, let me ask you, what do you want to do after hearing what I just told you?"

"I don't know..." Ding Zimu said awkwardly, "I... afraid of hurting him."

Yuan Qiao sneered: "Boy, do you want to listen to my advice?"

Ding Zimu nodded.

"First of all, Yang Yiming is an old man in his 30s..."

"29."

"Fuck!" Yuan Qiao gave Ding Zimu a hard look, "Okay, a 29-year-old man. He has education, diploma, culture, experience, and IQ. Do you think he understands what I just said?"

Ding Zimu nodded.

"OK, if a man knows that homosexuality will ruin his career prospects for the rest of his life, but still plunges into it, tell me, what does that mean?"

Ding Zimu didn't say anything.

"One word, cheap!"

"Do not……"

"I love you too much, so I'm cheap, just like me." Yuan Qiao said viciously, "Take you in, comfort you, let you go on holiday, give you a raise in salary, make you look like a girl, and even help you find a way to chase after being rejected by you." Man, bitch!"

Ding Zimu twitched his nose, and felt his nose sore again, tears behind his eyelids.

"So, the bitch deserves to be laid off and lose his job, starving and starving, that's what he asked for. Understand!"

Ding Zimu nodded, and muttered: "I can raise him."

"Fuck!" Yuan Qiao yelled furiously, "Get out, get out of my office, get out of my office, get out of my house, I don't want to see you again within 24 hours."

Ding Zimu stood up embarrassingly: "I'm sorry...Brother Yuan."

"Tell you to be tactful and let you be tactful, and you are so fucking tactful?" Yuan Qiao walked around the room, "This month's bonus is gone, and that idiot Yang Yiming's words are useless. I want to deduct your bonus. Now, Hurry up and go home, you are not allowed to be late the day after tomorrow, if you dare to be late, I will fuck you, believe it or not!"