door to happiness

"I'm broken in love!" Liang Yan said this inexplicably when she came out of KFC.There are so many people who are broken in love, every day, if I want to manage it, can I manage it?I really don't understand why she told me this, what's the matter with her?

The two walked towards the bus station silently, the atmosphere was very strange.

"Li Xiangyu looks very indifferent, I didn't expect him to be so courageous and loyal, it's really unexpected!" Xu was embarrassed, she wanted to break the dead silence.

Yes, man is the most elusive animal in this world!We can't see through Li Xiangyu, we can't see through Zhang Lan, we can't even see through ourselves!Man is such a mysterious animal!

"My heart—" I sighed.

There are people coming and going on the street, everyone has their own unique story, everyone is interpreting their unique self, who can see through whom?

"You said, why do people get married?"

She seemed very surprised by my nonsensical question.

"Why do you ask this all of a sudden?"

"Nothing, just asking casually!"

"Oh!" Then there was another long silence.

The reason why I asked this was because I thought of Liu Lei's mother.During her illness, her son waited on her attentively; when she left, another son completed the last ceremony for her.However, there are so many unmarried comrades hidden in this vast China, how did they complete this ceremony?

In the past, I always felt that "oldness", "sickness" and "death" were so far away from me, but today I feel that they have always been around us.

Where will the answer be?Where can I find it?I've been thinking to no avail.

"Because of love!" This is Liang Yan's answer, but this is not what I asked.

After parting with Liang Yan in a hurry, I came to the "Blue House" bar, a gay bar hidden in a bustling city.How many times have I walked at the door, lingering, reluctant to leave, but I still have no courage to step in.

I always pretend to be elegant, and think that the people who come and go there are filthy, but in fact, I have never understood them.Perhaps, they are synonymous with this group who hang around every day!

In the bar, there is no chaos like I imagined.I always thought that Gay Bar was a place where demons danced wildly, there were men in coquettish dresses everywhere, and someone would hook you up at any time, and the topics that cannot be avoided in the adult world were everywhere...

But no, people just sip wine quietly, and a few people move their bodies to the music on the dance floor.

On the stage, a reverse actor dressed in women's clothing, quite charming, is singing hard - what he sang is actually "The Song of Burying Flowers" by Lin Daiyu in "A Dream of Red Mansions" in which she hurt herself by sweeping flowers!

"360 days a year, the wind, the sword, the frost and the sword are fierce. How long can the bright beauty last?" Yes, how long can the bright beauty last!He sang so sadly, could it be that he hurt himself?He is young and young, and now is the time when he is proud of his spring breeze, but how many years can he eat this youth meal?After hanging around here all year round, has he understood the true meaning of life again?

There is a special smell in the bar, which makes people feel a little confused.I was a little dazed, I just felt that someone was holding my hand and whispering something in my ear.When I cheered up, I found that I had come to a private room, with a man in his early forties sitting beside him, and two glasses of cocktails on the table.

The man was well dressed, an Armani suit.I think, just this set of clothes is enough for Li Xiangyu to work part-time for a year.It seems that as a gay, you will naturally pay attention to the appearance of others.I looked it over carefully: Although he looks a little old, his skin is still smooth, and it is obvious that he has taken care of it every day; what makes me a little uncomfortable is the few forehead lines on his forehead, which show his age everywhere.

"It's hard to see new faces here, you should be new here!" He also looked me up and down, showing a satisfied look.

I was surprised: Did he regard me as MB?

I was very angry at his abruptness, and got up to leave!He grabbed me and said in a begging tone: "Just talk to me, just talk to me—just talk to me!"

His tone was a bit sad, a bit sad, like a wounded lion.

"There are a lot of..."

"It's too dusty!" He interrupted me, "Those people are too dusty, I don't like it! I like your simplicity and cleanliness! You don't have to do anything, just talk to me, okay? "

Gotohell! Damn fag!But when I finished cursing his words in my heart, I realized that even I was discriminating against "fags"!I hate that kind of self righteous person, he likes me, do I have to accompany him?

But by coincidence, I didn't leave!Maybe it was the phrase "just talk to me" that moved me!I was very depressed that day, and I really wanted to find someone to talk to. We may call this "coincidence"!

I sat down quietly and he began his telling, which seemed to be a sad story.He didn't introduce himself, only that he was the boss of a company.

From a very young age, he knew he was different. At the age of 30, he took over the family business. At the age of 36, due to family and social pressure, he married a blind date girl.Soon after, he had a pair of children.

From the day he got married, he knew that his marriage was destined to be unhappy.But he still worked hard to maintain it.However, life without emotion is bound to be full of quarrels - although he also sympathizes with his wife very much.As a wife, she is unfortunate.

He has many lovers, the longest one spent the longest but shortest ten years in his life with him.The reason why the man left him was because he married the girl on the blind date.

The night before the wedding, his lover said to him: "Since you have chosen marriage, let's go on! I will not come to you again, and I will not compete with a woman for love! Your love for me, I will hide it deep in my memory! My love for you is to leave! Whether it is marriage or love, they are all sacred, and I don’t want to tarnish this term!”

He repeated what he had said, and the sadness flowed like a river!

I think his lover is right!At least, in my heart, his lover is a "clean" person, if the word "noble" is not used to describe it!There are too many "chaotic" stories in the circle, everyone is doing all kinds of despicable things for their own desires, such as the man in front of him, who used "difficulties" to tear himself a hole in indulgence.

His lover is gone!Ten years of true love can only be buried deep in my heart!

There are men who are willing to compete with women for men, and there are men who are willing to share men with women, and there are many, many, but the longest relationship with him is only two years.And among them, many people are just greedy for his money.This is what he expressed to me——As for whether he is really rich, how much money he has, and whether those people are greedy for his money, it is not important to me!

"Marry, do you regret it?"

"If you say you don't regret it, you'd be lying! But looking at a pair of lovely children, sometimes it's quite gratifying. It's just that humans are a kind of strange animals, and they always want to seek spiritual comfort. If you feel lonely, I Always come to this hidden shop!"

In one day, I seemed to touch two heavy topics: marriage and old age!As a gay, these are two topics that cannot be avoided no matter what, and hurdles that cannot be avoided.

I thought that these two problems might be solved by simply marrying obediently.Looking at the man in front of me now, it dawned on me that I might be wrong.Choosing to get married means choosing to fight against your own nature for the rest of your life!

"If you don't get married, how will you arrange the rest of your life? I have thought about this question many times, but I can't find the answer. You have been married and have more life experience than I do. I want to hear from you the opinion of."

He was silent—the man who asked me to talk to him was silent!

"Why do you think so much? Come on, if you have wine today, you will be drunk today, and you will worry about tomorrow! It is best to live in the present!" He raised his glass and drank.

escape!This is escape!There is a voice in my heart reminding me like this!He didn't give me the answer, maybe he has the answer, but he just doesn't want to tell me!I think, he should be a rich man, and he should be able to solve many problems. For example, if he has no children, he can find someone to be a surrogate, although it is against the law!

If I have a son, it seems that all my worries will be solved!In this way, since ancient times, reproduction has been ranked before love.People just think that "reproduction" is an instinctive activity, which is too vulgar, so they artificially add a high-sounding "ritual" to it - love.This is nothing more than a deceitful behavior!

Some people say that heterosexual love is not necessarily true love, but homosexual love is true love, which comes from the heart rather than instinct. I think, maybe it is true!

Although surrogacy can solve the problem, will a child really be happy when he lives in a couple's home?Will he be at a loss?Is this fair to that child?

On this night, I at least understood one thing: In this life, I will never get married again!Although I was shaken when Liu Lei's mother passed away, after seeing this man and hearing him tell about his marriage, I knew that I shouldn't get married.Maybe the things I worry about will still happen, but "the boat will be straight when it reaches the bridge", at present, I can only believe this sentence!

"Look at your sad face, you've lost your love. It's okay, people like us, it's common to lose love! If you have to die every time, you can't live! Come on, cheers!" He drank half a glass The cocktail touched another glass on the table, and then he drank it all.

Maybe it was because I was unhappy, or maybe I didn't dislike him, but I drank the cocktail obediently.Although I don't know how to drink, I drink with friends on weekdays.It's not the first time I've drank this cocktail, but why do I feel so strong today?

I just felt dizzy and dizzy, and my eyelids kept fighting.I tried hard to open my eyes, but I couldn't help but hang them down.In a daze, I seemed to see him coming, bent down, and kissed me on the face.I wanted to avoid it, but I couldn't.