Bandit Shi Xianyu

"It's too easy for them, isn't it?"

Shiraishi put down his teacup, turned his head and looked out the window.

"I'm not judging good guys or bad guys, it's just a little gross.

From that day on, students Liu and Tang came here frequently. I think they may have found the pleasure of guiding others' lives in the act of "recommendation", and even developed an interest in following and observing for a long time. If Jane Goodall gives If I read a book about chimpanzees, I will follow and observe them in the same way. "

The woman sat behind the desk and looked at him: "In your metaphor, in what ways is your 'tablemate' similar to a chimpanzee?"

Baishi's face froze for a moment, and he frowned impatiently: "I'm not comparing him, I'm comparing them."

The woman nodded, motioning for him to continue.

"Student Liu is a very strict girl. There seems to be a primary and secondary school teacher in the family members. She has not inherited anything else. She probably inherited the potential of an 'educator'. If her body is replaced by a 40-year-old man, it may be more beautiful. It fits her preferred speech type, bossy, condescending, talking about trivial matters in a tone that seems indifferent, unable to distinguish between trivial fun and cumbersome accumulation. As far as I know, in elementary school, the first grade is reserved for the junior high school entrance examination. I went to this school. The grades are probably in the top ten, and I have recently reached the top five. I am in a ranking that can cultivate self-esteem without feeling a crisis. Because I have made progress with hard work, I believe in hard work. Although I have not suffered much, but Passionate about imagining suffering, and often fantasizing that "if it is xxx, it will definitely not be or what will happen", she should really write novels, her preaching style will definitely attract more pre-tax girls who love to be intoxicated and give advice—— I mean, there are girls in the class who worship her very much. She looks like an alien. To worship a person of the same age and the same class, how much self-esteem must be lacking to do it? In this way, the girl may see through the soul under her young skin , this can only prove that the girl worships patriarchy naturally, but she will listen to someone who presses her hands and frowns and speaks; or she is extremely anti-patriarchal, so that she chooses a same-sex body with patriarchal connotations to look forward to. It’s far away, let’s go back to classmate Liu. I observed her for a while and thought about it for a long time. I didn’t think of any way to let her experience the life of my deskmate, and then I’ll write it out in front of a fucking book. The online novel made a lot of comments and spoke lightly. I must emphasize again that I don’t think she is a bad person, I just hate her. Isn’t this contradictory?”

The woman shook her head and put the cigarette out in the ashtray: "I don't think it's contradictory. Where's the other girl?"

"Student Tang is a romanticist, or a writer who thinks she was born in the wrong age. She loves to write lyrical essays. Her pen is not filled with ink, but a tube full of metaphors. She can attack every A piece of paper. I like the accumulation of images, all because of the legacy of Tianjingsha, who likes complex descriptions, and the scourge of Moshang Sang. I can write a pair of shoes in [-] characters, and write a person twisting and twisting in [-] characters. Hundred-character dialogues are all pretentious confrontations. The most contributive thing about exam-oriented education is to drive away a large number of lyrical essays about rape/fornication and robbery, and use argumentative essays to seal up endless metaphors—or I am too dull to I found that Shi Flaubert, but in her words, it is a 'very annoying thing'. Unlike Liu's high-spirited, she came with romantic reformism. The good shape she expects, such as orphans not to be too pitiful, beggars not to starve to death, and workers not to be useless. In this sense, I think she is a good person, but I still hate her. If I need a reason, it may be because I am not so naive, so I think she is so lucky to be so naive. It is a bit too much to say that she has an unaffected face. If there is any shock at her age, it should come from her family. It is hard to say if literature is not literature, But it seems that they prefer the harsh school of literati, and it is only when they are paired with her metaphors that they complement each other. For Bigan to watch, Bigan would rather die the original way than watch and die.

But you can't pretend to be relaxed. There are certain moments when I am at the same table, and there will be an expression similar to "resignation" on my face, but others have never had it. "

The woman folded her hands and looked up at him: "When I said 'you can talk about anything', I really didn't expect you to spend so much time talking about two classmates who are not very close to you."

Bai Shi looked around her office: "Isn't it psychological counseling? They are my heart disease."

The woman smiled: "You are not very tolerant to people, are you?"

Shiraishi was silent and did not answer.

Teacher Shang stood up and opened one side of the window. The noise from the playground outside came in, and she sat back down again.

Bai Shi asked her: "Do I need to fill out any form for a psychological evaluation?"

"I don't think it's necessary, but if you want, I can provide some measuring tools."

Shiraishi shook his head and leaned back in the chair again.

"Talk about yourself, classmate Bai."

"I have nothing to say."

Teacher Shang took out a cigarette again: "As you said, do your peers often observe classmates in this way and draw various conclusions? Or do they have a thinking logic similar to yours, and they speak like you? Discretionary? Has anyone ever told you that your speech is a little too written?"

Shiraishi stared at her bright smoke and nodded.

"Are you allowed to smoke?" Shiraishi looked at her.

"Can I guess this way, when you are disgusted by Liu's words and deeds, are you standing at the same table? Because some people must be able to understand this idea of ​​'demanding progress', speaking from an absolute dimension , this is not wrong. Or further, you just found your own shadow from the "type of people" criticized by classmate Liu, and found that you were classified into the so-called "people who lost to suffering" to some extent ?”

Baishi smiled: "I'm not that moral, so why should I stand out against my deskmate? Besides, there's no need to think about my background, which is pretty decent."

Teacher Shang nodded: "Really."

"Are you allowed to smoke?" Shiraishi asked again.

Teacher Shang tilted his head: "Do you want me to pinch it off?"

Bai Shi paused, staring into her eyes.

In the office at five o'clock in the afternoon, the sky outside was darkened, only a green desk lamp developed a yellowish light, reflecting on her face, the cigarette was held between her slender fingers, trembling slightly, tail The ash at the end fluttered down.The woman bent her red lips, rolled her eyelashes up and down, leaned forward, curled hair on one side, and smooth neck on the other, and asked again like a whisper: "Do you want me to pinch it off?"

Like a gazelle asking the lion's permission.

Baishi's tooth hurt a bit, he stared at her in a deep tone that he didn't notice, and said, "Pinch it off."

Teacher Shang smiled, put out the cigarette, sat back in her seat, and changed her usual tone: "You are very controlling."

Shiraishi didn't answer.

Teacher Shang looked at him with folded arms: "To understand yourself, you must start by looking at yourself."

Baishi glanced at his watch, and suddenly stood up: "I thought about it, I don't hate Liu and Tang that much, it's probably because I think too much."

"yes."

"I am leaving."

Teacher Shang got up to see him off: "Then, see you next time."

Baishi stopped holding the door's hand: "I don't plan to come again."

Teacher Shang laughed and said goodbye to him.

***

Bai Shi left Teacher Shang's office with a heavy heart, telling him his recent thoughts did not make him feel better, but instead made him feel strange that someone had seen the murder.

He went to wait for Pei Cangyu at the school gate, the land where Pei Cangyu squatted when he transferred to another school.Baishi saw his gloomy face from the window on the side of the road, and then remembered that he was always lifeless, to the point where he even hated himself.

But if he really wants to change it, he seems unwilling.

This Friday, Pei Cangyu left late because of homework, so Baishi went to the teacher's place first, and only now came out to wait for Pei Cangyu.It was getting dark now, and the lights on the side of the road were turned on. Baishi saw Pei Cangyu, the class monitor, and Qi Shuo. The three of them came out of the teaching building talking and laughing, and walked towards the school gate.

The squad leader is a gentle person, with patience from good education and empathy from good nature. She and Baishi are like two extremes. Baishi deeply doubts that if he bites himself and tastes blood, even his blood It was all bitter, and he was such an angry creature.

Go to Teacher Shang and make him suddenly realize this.

So Baishi hid for a while, he hid in an alley, and did not wait for Pei Cangyu under the agreed street lamp.

Even he himself didn't know why, but subconsciously hid when they approached.

He watched Pei Cangyu come to the school gate, but he didn't see Baishi under the street lamp, turned around, but couldn't find Baishi either.

Qi Shuo suggested in a low voice: "Is it possible that Bai has already left?"

Pei Cangyu said, "No way."

Qi Shuo said again: "Would you like to walk with us and call Bai classmate while walking?"

Hearing what she said, Baishi wanted to stand up suddenly and appear in front of them, and then Pei Cangyu would definitely refuse to go with them, and choose Baishi instead, and go with the person he had agreed to, but Baishi didn't move.

Sure enough, Pei Cangyu refused after thinking for a while, saying that it would be better to wait, because maybe Baishi would come later.

Qi Shuo blushed and said to wait with him for a while, anyway, the chat just now is not finished yet.Pei Cangyu happily agreed, he was not comfortable being so scattered in the middle of what he said just now.

The squad leader smiled and bumped Qi Shuo's shoulder, and stood with her under the streetlight.

Shiraishi standing in the shadow looked at them under the light.

At this moment, he suddenly realized what a contradictory person he was. He was both arrogant and cowardly, which made him a kind of pathological self-willedness. Things just didn't go as he wished, always like ants gnawed at his nerves, making him feel that the world wouldn't make him feel better.

Baishi squatted down against the wall, and he remembered a line in Pei Cangyu's favorite movie, saying that everyone is like a ship sailing on the sea, and needs an anchor to dock.Baishi himself doesn't want an anchor, but he also knows that Pei Cangyu's anchor is here.

It doesn't belong to him, nothing in Baishi's life belongs to him.His parents' care, his so-called friends, and the way others look at him, all don't give him.

Baishi thought, what he needs to do to make himself feel better, to make himself more sure about things, so that he will not drift around and let things develop according to his own ideas.He needs to do something.

Qi Shuo and the others have been with each other for a long time, Pei Cangyu was a little embarrassed, looked at his watch, and said why don't you go first, it's too late.

The girls tried to get Pei Cangyu to come with them again, but Pei Cangyu refused, and his phone calls to Baishi couldn't get through.

Eventually the girls left first.

Baishi stood up, looked at Pei Cangyu leaning on the lamppost, looking at a small stall selling things on the side of the road, as if he really wanted to go and have a look.

A boy came from behind, brushed Pei Cangyu's shoulder and walked over, Pei Cangyu didn't see clearly, recognized the wrong person, grabbed the boy's schoolbag, and yelled at him: "Baishi! Baishi! Damn it! Slow down!"

The boy looked around him in a daze, took off his hat, and shook off Pei Cangyu's hand: "Who is it? Is it sick?"

Pei Cangyu realized that she had admitted the wrong person, so she quickly apologized: "Oh, I'm sorry, I admitted the wrong person."

The boy is obviously a jerk, he raised his chin: "Yo, that's fine?"

Pei Cangyu turned upside down when she heard that, curled her lips, and showed the aura of the first brother of Hepinglu: "That's the fucking thing. Get out quickly, be careful I'll beat you."

During the conversation between the two sides, the boy quickly judged the strength of the enemy and the enemy, put on the hat, laughed, and walked away quickly. Pei Cangyu snorted when he saw his back, and kicked the telephone pole irritably.

"Kicking the electric pole, isn't it good?" Baishi appeared behind Pei Cangyu.

Pei Cangyu clutched her heart and jumped to the side: "I rely on you to be so elusive that you scared me to death."

Baishi smiled, and Pei Cangyu kicked his schoolbag: "Where did you go, you're slow to death."

Baishi pointed to the stall on the side of the road that Pei Cangyu had stared at for a long time: "Do you want to go and have a look?"

Pei Cangyu put his arms around his shoulders: "You want to go too? What a coincidence."

They walked shoulder to shoulder towards the stall, which was a roadside stall selling handmade decorations, selling all kinds of odds and ends, from woven bamboo birds to ten yuan toy mobile phones, everything that one expects to find.

Pei Cangyu looked over carefully, Baishi followed behind him: "What do you want to buy?"

"Look, look."

Pei Cangyu went shopping around, and finally bought a music box, opened it to see a little angel singing——There is no way, the others are just two little people who are married.

"Why are you buying this?" Shiraishi asked.

Pei Cangyu didn't hear it. After paying the money, he found that his budget was still a little bit, and bought a necklace at the booth, which was very in line with his usual preferences. It was a skull pendant, which had a rough feeling visible to the naked eye.

Pei Cangyu specially asked the merchant to wrap the music box with a ribbon, then happily took it, put it carefully in the schoolbag, put Baishi on the shoulder, and smiled with satisfaction: "Let's go."

"Hey, we are planning to go mountain climbing during the winter vacation, when are you free?" Pei Cangyu gave Baishi a mouthful of stinky tofu.

Baishi frowned and didn't want it, but Pei Cangyu was very persistent: "Try it, you won't be disgusted if you try it, it's best to put this thing in your mouth."

Baishi had no choice but to eat a piece, and was so smoked that he didn't want to talk for a long time. After swallowing it with difficulty, he replied: "I don't have time during the winter vacation. I have to follow the arrangement at home."

Pei Cangyu was a little regretful: "Ah...haven't you been there for a day?"

Baishi shook his head. The end of the year is a good time for the Bai family to entertain guests and cultivate social connections.

Pei Cangyu could only nod his head.

Baishi really wanted to say, "You should have more fun without me", but looking at Pei Cangyu's bulging cheeks, he didn't say it. He suddenly wondered, would it be easier to get along with others if he imitated the monitor?

When they reached the intersection, Baishi said hello and was about to turn around, but Pei Cangyu grabbed him.

Pei Cangyu pursed her lips, her eyes sparkled, and pressed her voice to Baishi's ear: "I'll tell you something."

Baishi looked at him, there was no one around, he didn't need to be so close and no one could hear him, but he didn't pierce, and nodded.

A smile appeared on Pei Cangyu's face: "My father is coming back."

Baishi immediately understood who he was going to give the music box Pei Cangyu bought just now.

"When?"

Pei Cangyu thought for a while: "I don't know, it's time for school to start soon."

He hesitated for a moment, "Grandma said, it should be released by then."