REMIX

In the first midterm exam in junior high school, my learning defects were exposed in a rather bad way-serious partial subjects.

How serious is it?

Chinese and English are close to full marks, history, geography and politics are still impressive, physics, chemistry and biology are teetering on the passing line, and mathematics is at the bottom of the miserable list.

It is still the bottom of the whole class.

The reason is that, on the one hand, because I fell in love with rap, I worked extremely hard on English, and the results are remarkable; on the other hand, I am really not interested in science, and I can hardly resist the drowsiness in mathematics class. Memorizing formulas like this can at least get a basic score, but I don't have a clue about the calculation problems that are said to be solvable. The multiple-choice questions even guessed, and the hit rate is poor.

I feel a little bit guilty, especially when Xia Jie came back after the parents' meeting and comforted me in turn, the feeling of guilt for not being able to meet the other party's expectations was even stronger.

Because I really don't care, I don't care about the grades, I don't care about the rankings, I don't care about other people's eyes, I do my homework with headphones plugged in every day, and I don't hear things outside the window with my ears. This is what I really feel ashamed of.

Something must be done to change this situation.

On the day when the results of the single-subject quiz came down, the 13-year-old me was triggered to think about life for the first time in my life.

After school, Li Qianlan and I walked to the blue-gray stone bridge on the moat. His school uniform jacket was draped over his shoulders, and his pure white T-shirt neatly outlined the arc of his back. He lifted up his clothes and wiped the sweat on his face. Khan, nonchalantly, "Let your deskmate teach you."

——Oh, I almost forgot, the third grader was sitting next to me.

I don't know Qiao Xinxin well.

Her complexion is very fair, her clothes are clean and elegant, like a meticulous and precise turnover machine, there doesn't seem to be any extra programs in her daily life, she listens to lectures, studies, reads books, and she will lie on the table and close her eyes between classes to rest, and don't talk to those words Many girls went to the bathroom together, and were occasionally called up by the teacher to answer questions, with a sickly ethereal voice.

Although it can't be said that people are rejected from thousands of miles away, it is certain that they are not easy to approach.

But the only woman I have had in-depth contact with since I was a child is my mother.

Boys and girls of this age are very fond of booing, but anyone who wants to strike up a conversation and show affection, everyone will show an awkward expectation for this kind of "taboo" that they know but don't say; There are really a few couples who are "in love", so it will be broadcast live every day, enriching everyone's after-school life with self-sacrifice.

So even though what I wanted to say was "can you tutor me in math", it seemed like a ridiculous confession.

But soon I found out that the two of us have a rare thing in common, that is, to do the questions with earphones plugged in for evening self-study.

This was originally not allowed. The school once explicitly prohibited the carrying of various electronic products-of course it was useless.Every school has its own set of rules and regulations, but the witty and brave students can still take advantage of the loopholes.

And evening self-study is the moment for everyone to liberate themselves.In places where the teacher can't see, chatting, reading extracurricular books, eating, passing notes, playing mobile phones, and even playing poker in the back row. Existing, as if the original shape appeared as soon as it got dark.

Even a good student like Qiao Xinxin can learn while listening to songs, and a top student like her who is like a textbook is already quite out of the ordinary.

On this day, the teacher assigned homework that had to be completed before the end of the evening self-study, and invited class representatives to sit at the desk, and whoever finished the work could go home.The huge amount of exercises made people panic, those who chatted had no time to chat, and those who played cards were in no mood to play. For a while, there was only the sound of writing and writing in the classroom, which made people panic.

Qiao Xinxin still listened to the music with her earphones plugged in.

Then it was the first homework handed in in the class.

In a period of time that I think is unattainable for normal people, she put down her pen, took off her earphones and stood up.

The heads of the whole class turned around her like a sunflower, and whispers were heard from time to time, and I could almost imagine the content and tone of the conversation.But my focus is on the two earphones she placed on the open book.

Black Sony, looks expensive.

Due to the overly quiet surroundings, I heard a loud and intense crushing sound coming from the speaker at close range, which was as vitriolic and corrosive as sulfuric acid, which made my skin crawl.

Qiao Xinxin handed in her homework and came down from the podium. She reached out and pulled her shoulder-length black hair behind her ears. She had a pretty face and walked calmly.

When she was seated, I asked very naturally without thinking, "Are you listening to... rock?"

Under the incandescent lamp in the classroom, she stretched out her bloodless hands and laid them on the pages of the book. Hearing the sound, she turned her face slightly, and looked at me with smoky gray pupils.

I actually saw some frightening cold light from it, which was more thrilling than silence.

"Acid Rock, psychedelic rock," she whispered, "and black metal."

——For many years after that, when I want to know a person, I must listen to the secrets in his earphones.Whether it’s a love song or a folk song, whether it’s country or punk, music is a cross-section of the human heart, cutting through his love, his pain, his pursuit of his past, all his unspeakable tyranny and tenderness, only the songs he likes will never lie .

I can hear it all.