REMIX

"Hey."

He raised his chin at me, and I held my head up—I had to do it because of the huge height difference, and I didn't know the proper way to say hello, and I said, "Hello."

He was wearing a dark suit with a woolen coat over his shoulders. The new texture seemed to be as good as it looked, as if he had just left some solemn and solemn occasion; Uncle, their hands kept opening the car door.

Too much black menacingly occupied my field of vision, I finally tried to use body language to express respect, "Mr. Landlord."

Hearing this, there was a flash of hesitation between his brows, and he smiled, "I'm not the landlord..."

Seeing my bewildered face, he changed his words instantly, "...so be it."

"what are you doing here?"

I swallowed his questions wholeheartedly, unable to figure out what motives and reasons this person appeared here, let him stay on the road teeth that would wet and stain his shoes at any time, and asked me some apparently unimportant things question.

"I," I swallowed, "I'm listening to music."

As expected, he turned his wrist and pointed to the video store beside him, with a surprised tone, "This?"

— as if I couldn't hear.

I admit I was a little upset for a second, just for a second.

Similar to the annoyance of being underestimated, but this person did not say anything wrong.

As he listened, he raised one foot and put it on the steps. I vaguely felt that the distance between him and me was getting closer. It wasn't the objective distance of location, but the temperament, the sense of gap that permeated our whole body.It was only then that I realized that his young face was too stern against the indifferent attire, and after a second glance, it was a little daunting.

I've never seen such a good-looking person.

It was so good-looking that the people opposite him were so cautious that they didn't know where to put their hands and feet.I was suddenly desperately cramped, and the inferiority complex that was parasitic in my bone marrow with poverty burst out in an instant, like a virus spread and infected me, and I couldn't stand it, and I felt that my own existence was extremely embarrassing.

I hadn't had such a strong feeling the first time I saw him.

I kind of want to go.

Seeing that he didn't express anything, I said "I'm home, goodbye" with a slippery tongue and ran home with the keys.

The sound of music was left behind by me with the splashing snow.

I spent the entire winter vacation on the electric blanket doing my homework, previewing the books, and occasionally listening to the radio, but often I couldn’t find what I was looking for, only love songs about love between men and women, life and death.

It seems that Li Qianlan has returned to his hometown. I only talked to him once on the first day of the new year. Apart from telling him that I want to save money to buy a record, there is nothing else.

In the first class of school, the teacher asked us to talk about our dreams.

For a teenager, this word that has been used badly today may not mean much.I propped my elbows on the table, and blew the rubber residue from my homework onto the floor. The cuffs of the sweater that exposed my wrists were a bit dirty, so I pulled my school uniform jacket forward to cover it.The lead core has worn the inside of my wrist to gray, and out of the corner of my eye, I can see the phantom figures rising and falling in the classroom, and then, behind me, there is the sound of pulling the stool away when I stand up.

Li Qianlan stood up when his name was called, and I turned to look at him together with the others. His pale face was bathed in unprecedented attention. He stumbled and said, I want to be a DJ, a disc jockey.

I saw the thin early spring morning light covering his shoulders, making him look much taller than me.He spoke words that most people had never heard before, and he spoke very vibratingly and forcefully, like a taut string.Even the teacher fell silent for a moment, unprepared, as if he hadn't expected this response.

I think what she wants are answers like "astronaut", "scientist", "soldier" and "doctor", and the rest does not belong to children, so she made an innocuous ending to this awkward silence.She sat him down.

For a split second I saw his pardoned face.His top-down gaze met mine for a moment, scratched his head, and smiled embarrassedly.

That evening after school, he and I walked to the station without saying a word. When we passed a stall selling spicy hot pot on the street, I stopped and saw him turn around from a few steps away and look at me suspiciously.

Behind him is the bustling and bloated main road, the gray buildings seem to be covered with a layer of dust, it is now the rush hour for returning home, pedestrians and vehicles come and go, intertwined into a dizzying background.He looked at me fixedly, with the modest blue sky above his head.

The music was playing in my head again.

I don't want to talk about my dreams, I'm as weak as I'm coughing.For someone of my origin, that is not a dream, but a fantasy.I never dare to complain to myself, I know that once I open my mouth, I can't stop, there are too many things I want to accuse, and when they all become the reality that is burdened on my body, it is more irrefutable.You can't change it, you can only accept it.

Extreme valuing can lead to overkill protection, so it is also seen as another form of self-abasement.I never told others about my secret desire for music, just like the landlord I ran into at the door of a video store, because it belonged to that "place I've never seen" to me, and it was ridiculously out of reach.

I can't even afford a record.

I don't want to show myself to be treated as a joke, but it's just a desire secretly surging in my heart.

But it was getting hotter and hotter by day, and it burned me unbearably.

I don't want to stand up and announce it to the world, even though they'll all turn around and look at me.

I told Li Qianlan that I might be a rapper.

I mean it.