REMIX

"What about you."

One second I was still joking with Fatty He, and the next second all expressions faded from my face.She stood at the door for an unknown amount of time. I thought I must have looked flustered at this moment, as if I had been caught doing something wrong. "What are you doing here?"

But neither of us did anything wrong, it was just an accidental intertwining of two lives that were separated by me.

I looked back at He Gu, and wanted to bring Le Xiaoya into the house, but her sleeves were wet from the rain, and she grabbed me when I approached.I don't know what she wants to do, including why she is here, how to find here, these are all things I don't know.But I don't want to know either.

"I know it's wrong for me to follow you...but I want to come to you..."

She looked up at me, her eyes sank a little bit, hanging in a position where I couldn't see, and finally cried aloud.

I took off my coat and put it on her shrugging shoulders because of her sobs. Her hand was still holding the corner of my clothes, and with a lot of effort, I didn't push it away.I probably shouldn't have pushed.

"...you won't even let me say..."

"I really have always liked you, and I want to tell you well, instead of being teased...you said it doesn't matter..."

"But I was wrong. You don't want to hear it at all."

I reached up and pulled the hood over her head.

"Because I'm fine with it," I said, "it won't change anything, so there's no point."

This is the closest we've come, and it won't get any closer.It is the first time that I come into contact with "feelings" at such a distance. It comes from another life other than me. It is body temperature, radio waves, a lonely planet, and the bitterness that I have spoken countless times but swallowed alive. There is no end. The story is a one-man show from beginning to end.

I was destined not to be able to sing any more that night, even though time on Friday was extremely precious, so I had to say goodbye to He Gu who was forced to wait and see the whole process, made an appointment for tomorrow's rehearsal plan, and sent Le Xiaoya back despite the light rain.

At that time, the sky had already darkened and the rain was warm and cool. I walked with her all the way until the rain stopped, and no one said a word.

When I got downstairs to her house, it was not convenient for me to go up, so I waited for her to return the clothes to me at the door of the corridor.

That's when she said, I think I'm starting to hate you.

I said oh.

She was startled, is that your reaction?

I laugh, it doesn't matter to me whether you like it or not, so it's okay to hate it.

She stood on a higher step, and when she blinked, her eyes were filled with tiny lights, and then she laughed.

She said Xia Xi, you know, since the first time I saw you, I have fallen into that kind of idiotic fantasy like a novel.Girls all believe in fate, I guess boys may not believe it, anyway, I believe it because of you.Now do you understand what it means to me?

At that time, besides thinking that you were good-looking, what else did I have? You couldn’t see that you actually had a lot of attractive temperament on your body, so you were just... pretty handsome, unlike other boys. Low level joke.You look good sitting there by yourself with your headphones on.

But deciding why you like someone won't be that simple—well, it might be simpler than that.The important thing is, now that I know the outcome, I'm not afraid to speak up, not anymore.

You see, I dare not say anything in front of you, because I am worried that if I say something wrong, you will hate me. This feeling is quite uncomfortable.Especially the person I like is not smart at all, no matter what I give him, he doesn't know how to respond to me, and he doesn't know how to hang me.Maybe I should thank you for not even giving me the chance to walk into your world.

You see, I'm thinking so many things where you don't know, and you don't know them all.You don't want to know either.

……

Her voice was slightly hoarse after crying, like a small crack on the surface of porcelain.After brushing the hair on her forehead, she went on to say, I won't like you tomorrow, just say something, I'm so desperate.

——I can’t allow me to digest the previous words, and feel as if a loaded gun has been stuffed in my hand.

I said, sorry, but you are beautiful today.

She looked at me for a while, then slammed my shoulders and pushed me out, saying, you go, I like it for another 10 minutes.Just 10 minutes.

I stopped looking at her, turned around and walked away in her eyes.

The air was still after the rain, and I walked on the deserted road at night, thinking about many things, what happened and what might happen.

Finally, he took a deep breath and started to run.

I ran back home without taking a step, and it was only when I walked in that I remembered that Xia Jie went to dinner with a few friends in their store today, and I guess I will go to sing in the evening. She told me when she went out in the morning that I almost forget.

There is no one in the house. There are two bags of coffee beans on the bar outside the kitchen. From a distance, they look like two black balls. There are ribbons tied on the net bag and labels of different varieties. One bag is called Mandheling, and the other is It's called Santos.

I poured a glass of iced milk, and went back to the bedroom with the glass. I dug out a mobile phone that I hadn’t used a few times from the drawer, and drank a couple of sips while waiting for it to turn on. Take a breath.

I bought this mobile phone less than a month ago. The reason is that the previous Walkman broke down. I happened to be short of a mobile phone. Just sing.

When I went to school, I didn’t take it out to play very much. I didn’t save a lot of numbers. They were all close acquaintances around me. The most frequent text messages to me were phone charge reminders.I played with it over and over for a long time, took out a piece of note paper from the lyrics book, and entered the number copied on it-even though I had memorized it long ago.

I sent him a text message, three days later at eight o'clock in the evening, will you come to Black Reef 19 to listen to my singing?

Strangely, this time I seemed to say what I wanted to say with ease, probably thanks to the calming effect of that glass of iced milk.I stood in the middle of the room for a while, jumped in place twice, and the text message was sent back.

In fact, the moment I sent it out, I was ready to send it to the wrong person.

But he won't lie to me.

He replied with one word, yes.

I touched my face with my hands, and only dared to laugh when I threw myself on the bed.