Summertime
Chapter 15
In the afternoon, the sky is no longer rainy, but the outside is still gloomy, the cloud has not dissipated, hovering in the low sky, floating with the breeze, changing the distance from far or near, there is no warm sun, and the air is full of damp coolness , making people tremble unconsciously, shrinking their shoulders, it is already May, but this day is not the weather in May.
Su Xi came out of the bathroom wearing a bath towel. The coldness of the room and the warmth of the bathroom, the not too small temperature difference between the two caught Su Xi off guard and sneezed. She opened the closet beside her and took out a clean He put on his pajamas, picked up the white bath towel that was still on the bed, and gently wiped the dripping hair, while dragging down the stairs.
In the kitchen on the side of the living room, the crackling sound of heating grease came from far and near, and Su Xi vaguely smelled the sweet aroma of rice and meat.She suddenly had a strange illusion, as if Mi came back, maybe he is busy cooking for her in the kitchen now, but she quickly laughed at her inexplicable illusion, the figure in the kitchen with her back facing her , thin and petite, with a wide apron on her body, it was ridiculously empty, she was lowering her head and vigorously cutting a strangely shaped potato with a kitchen knife, and there was an irregular and dull chopping sound from the thick chopping board.Su Xi's nose suddenly felt sore, she bent down and hugged the thin figure into her arms, her wet head was like a kitten, buried in Xizao's warm neck, she was so infatuated that she refused to get up.
Su Xi thought that she would never be able to eat the meals that Xizao cooked for herself, because she was so stubborn that Xizao was no longer the same person she used to be, but at this moment, they seem to have returned to the past.
"The whole body is full of oily smoke, are you afraid of getting it?"
"No, all I smell is the smell of shampoo on your hair, it's fragrant."
"Are you hungry?"
"Ah."
"It's almost ready, the last dish."
"I'm waiting for you."
Su Xi was indeed hungry. Su Xi ate this belated lunch with great relish. After all, it was cooked for her by Xizao herself. Even Su Xi, who usually doesn't like rice, ate a whole bowl today. And the jujubes on the dinner table seemed to have no appetite, and the chopsticks didn't move much. She just looked at Su Xi who was opposite and smiled without saying a word.
"Why don't you eat? You were so tired just now, aren't you hungry?" Su Xi raised her head and asked jokingly.
"I don't have much appetite, just watch you eat." Xizao smiled shyly.
"It's boring to eat alone, eat with me."
"okay."
Xizao couldn't help laughing as she looked at Su Xi who was pouting in front of her. She picked up a piece of green vegetable with her chopsticks again.
"We will be like this in the future, right?"
Just as the chopsticks in Xizao's hand were moving back, the person opposite said this sentence unexpectedly.Xizao's hands couldn't help trembling slightly, she raised her head, and what she met was Su Xi's expectant and anxious face, she seemed to be lying on the bedside waiting for her parents' New Year's money in the middle of the New Year's Eve, full of heart Looking forward to the child, it is a kind of cautious urgency.
"I... um."
"Well, let's eat."
Su Xi got her thick red envelope, and contentedly stole the hard-won thing into the depths of her pillow, waiting for the arrival of a new day with joy.
But the person who sweetened Su Xi couldn't empathize with her.
Xizao wanted to say that she didn't know, it was the truth and reality, because she didn't know how long the shady relationship between her and Su Xi could last.It's just that she has already got what she wants, and the direction to the future is already close to her whimsical daydream, why should she have mixed feelings after getting it.
Maybe she is still afraid of the ending covered by the gauze, she can't see or touch, she hates this feeling.But Xizao is still on the way. She wants to jump out of the process and reach the end point. She wants to see whether she wins or loses. But there is no such good thing in this world. The current painstaking worries are just asking for trouble. But why did the bewilderment in Xizao's heart prevail over Xinhuan, obviously she finally got the feelings she wanted.
Obviously... but why?
Su Xi said that Xizao could come to the house often to accompany her in the future, Xizao said that she didn't want to meet Zhou Mi, Su Xi said again, then, can I go to your house, Xizao was stunned, and agreed.
Three days later, Zhou Mi came back, and on the night he just came back, he decided to cook for himself in order to reward Xizao for taking care of Su Xi in the past few days.Xizao had mixed feelings in her heart. With her shame and her current status, how could she have the face to accept such a gift from Zhou Mi? Xizao was embarrassed and had to politely refuse.These are all things I should do. When Xizao said this, she felt that her ears were boiling and almost spontaneously combusted. Her outrageous words made her feel sick.But Su Xi actually spoke in the group of three people, she said that millet is willing to cook some decent dishes, just for this kind of heart, let's come over for dinner.
Su Xi's push made Xizao have no choice but to bite the bullet and go to the banquet.
The food cooked by Zhou Mi is very good, but the jujube is tasteless. The scene of a happy family of three is so dazzling, Zhou Mi's considerate care, Tong Tong's well-behaved and sensible, Su Xi's gentle and easy-going, everything that exists is so beautiful It is reasonable, but Xizao is an outsider, she listens as an outsider, and responds to the family trifles that are happily talked at the dinner table. This is their due happiness, Xizao has no reason to get it, let alone destroy it.
Destruction, Xizao said with a wry smile to herself, the destruction had already begun the moment she reunited with Su Xi, and she was the one who initiated it, she was not ashamed.
Why do you have to step in a successful relationship, you must get what you want, when did you become so selfish.
Xizao still can't understand some things, she needs time to understand slowly, but time waits for no one.She seems to have grasped some things, but she doesn't seem to have them. Everything is like the moon in the mirror, illusory and ethereal, and she can only do nothing if she is deeply trapped in it, as if there is a mess in the dark. The rope bound her tightly, and the more she struggled, the tighter the shackles on her body became, so tight that she couldn't breathe. Since she couldn't escape, she had no choice but to resign herself to fate.
Xizao also knew that Su Xi didn't do it on purpose, it was her role, the role of a man and a wife, her laughter at the dinner table, her virtuousness, her pride in her daughter, her slow talk, her love for her. Zhou Mi's tenderness comes from the heart and is natural, because that is her life.
What about Zizao, at the dining table, among the four, what is her role, a familiar friend?A regular guest?
She is nothing.
That night when he got home, Xizao suffered from insomnia again.
I come and go again and again, but in the end I still can't get rid of the ridiculous fate, married woman, unethical love, why do I always fall into such unclean and unclean love, Mo You before, Su Xi now, Xizao think All my feelings so far are just a pale joke, those she gave her heart, can't make it public, and the ending is always embarrassing, those she muddled through, awkward and reluctant, those she was unmoved, ended hastily, in the end, some People have drawn deep wounds on her body, and she has also hurt others severely, which is really karma.
For Xizao, if a relationship cannot be fulfilled, then Xizao will cut off all related connections, throw away the gifts from the other party, erase the traces left by the other party in his life, and clear everything. Before the other party noticed it, the two had already separated.Xizao always stubbornly believes that since they broke up, they can't be friends with each other. Xizao's principle has persisted in her several unresolved relationships over the years, except for the one with Moyou.
Perhaps, from the very beginning, she knew that the initial contact between the two was a deal of what you want, and everyone knew that this relationship was just some kind of short-term mutual comfort, and it would not last long.And in that romantic story, Moyou is the employer, Xizao is the lover, both of them perform their own duties, Xizao got what she deserved from Moyou, and Moyou also got what she deserved from her. Xizao physically filled the loneliness and emptiness of that period.
One day, the contract expires, and all transactions will be terminated immediately, but their relationship is no longer pure at first, they just want to get what they need, and they don't know when they find themselves trapped, maybe the time is not right Wait, maybe Moyou is earlier and Xizao is later, maybe it's just the opposite, but the ending is that both of them are obsessed with the days when they keep each other warm like that. When they realized this, neither of them said anything about this change. Both of them thought that they should stay the same, but in the end, the contract was terminated, Moyou returned to the family, Xizao entered the society, Xizao thought she would leave, but unfortunately no, neither did Moyou, the two developed from an embarrassing relationship at first Became an ambiguous friend.Maybe, if you can't be lovers, you can only be friends.Later, without knowing it, the friendship also turned into a vague family relationship. Xizao always thought that his heart was well received. At the beginning, Moyou was also indifferent, keeping a distance that was neither far nor close, and treated him gently The sad Xizao used his own way to deal with the relationship between them. Xizao became at ease and enjoyed the rare warmth. Of course, fate also created many coincidences for them. Xizao was always in a place where no one could talk to. At that time, I found that Moyou happened to be there, and Moyou always felt the warmth of Xizao inadvertently. The inexplicable relationship between them continued like this, but no one disturbed each other's lives, and Xizao could not. Define what kind of emotion this is, but she thinks this is not the best of the best.
Xizao can't deny that at the beginning, she chose to accept the disgraceful role from Moyou because Moyou has Su Xi's shadow on her body, but the two are different after all, Xizao discovered this At that time, her initial indifference had turned into liking and sincerity, but everything was of no avail, her employment relationship with Moyou had ended, so before Xizao had time to have that person, she had to choose to turn around and let go.
In fact, now the two of them treat each other as relatives, they often greet each other, and they are well with each other, which is also a good result.
As for her and Su Xi, Xi Zao didn't know where the two of them would go in the future and what the ending would be.
The only thing Xizao knows is that Moyou is just an attachment to her, because she has learned to let go of her previous feelings.
But for Su Xi, Xizao's understanding of what kind of feelings she has is always hovering between ambiguity and half-knowledge.
After all, she didn't have the courage to figure it out.
Su Xi came out of the bathroom wearing a bath towel. The coldness of the room and the warmth of the bathroom, the not too small temperature difference between the two caught Su Xi off guard and sneezed. She opened the closet beside her and took out a clean He put on his pajamas, picked up the white bath towel that was still on the bed, and gently wiped the dripping hair, while dragging down the stairs.
In the kitchen on the side of the living room, the crackling sound of heating grease came from far and near, and Su Xi vaguely smelled the sweet aroma of rice and meat.She suddenly had a strange illusion, as if Mi came back, maybe he is busy cooking for her in the kitchen now, but she quickly laughed at her inexplicable illusion, the figure in the kitchen with her back facing her , thin and petite, with a wide apron on her body, it was ridiculously empty, she was lowering her head and vigorously cutting a strangely shaped potato with a kitchen knife, and there was an irregular and dull chopping sound from the thick chopping board.Su Xi's nose suddenly felt sore, she bent down and hugged the thin figure into her arms, her wet head was like a kitten, buried in Xizao's warm neck, she was so infatuated that she refused to get up.
Su Xi thought that she would never be able to eat the meals that Xizao cooked for herself, because she was so stubborn that Xizao was no longer the same person she used to be, but at this moment, they seem to have returned to the past.
"The whole body is full of oily smoke, are you afraid of getting it?"
"No, all I smell is the smell of shampoo on your hair, it's fragrant."
"Are you hungry?"
"Ah."
"It's almost ready, the last dish."
"I'm waiting for you."
Su Xi was indeed hungry. Su Xi ate this belated lunch with great relish. After all, it was cooked for her by Xizao herself. Even Su Xi, who usually doesn't like rice, ate a whole bowl today. And the jujubes on the dinner table seemed to have no appetite, and the chopsticks didn't move much. She just looked at Su Xi who was opposite and smiled without saying a word.
"Why don't you eat? You were so tired just now, aren't you hungry?" Su Xi raised her head and asked jokingly.
"I don't have much appetite, just watch you eat." Xizao smiled shyly.
"It's boring to eat alone, eat with me."
"okay."
Xizao couldn't help laughing as she looked at Su Xi who was pouting in front of her. She picked up a piece of green vegetable with her chopsticks again.
"We will be like this in the future, right?"
Just as the chopsticks in Xizao's hand were moving back, the person opposite said this sentence unexpectedly.Xizao's hands couldn't help trembling slightly, she raised her head, and what she met was Su Xi's expectant and anxious face, she seemed to be lying on the bedside waiting for her parents' New Year's money in the middle of the New Year's Eve, full of heart Looking forward to the child, it is a kind of cautious urgency.
"I... um."
"Well, let's eat."
Su Xi got her thick red envelope, and contentedly stole the hard-won thing into the depths of her pillow, waiting for the arrival of a new day with joy.
But the person who sweetened Su Xi couldn't empathize with her.
Xizao wanted to say that she didn't know, it was the truth and reality, because she didn't know how long the shady relationship between her and Su Xi could last.It's just that she has already got what she wants, and the direction to the future is already close to her whimsical daydream, why should she have mixed feelings after getting it.
Maybe she is still afraid of the ending covered by the gauze, she can't see or touch, she hates this feeling.But Xizao is still on the way. She wants to jump out of the process and reach the end point. She wants to see whether she wins or loses. But there is no such good thing in this world. The current painstaking worries are just asking for trouble. But why did the bewilderment in Xizao's heart prevail over Xinhuan, obviously she finally got the feelings she wanted.
Obviously... but why?
Su Xi said that Xizao could come to the house often to accompany her in the future, Xizao said that she didn't want to meet Zhou Mi, Su Xi said again, then, can I go to your house, Xizao was stunned, and agreed.
Three days later, Zhou Mi came back, and on the night he just came back, he decided to cook for himself in order to reward Xizao for taking care of Su Xi in the past few days.Xizao had mixed feelings in her heart. With her shame and her current status, how could she have the face to accept such a gift from Zhou Mi? Xizao was embarrassed and had to politely refuse.These are all things I should do. When Xizao said this, she felt that her ears were boiling and almost spontaneously combusted. Her outrageous words made her feel sick.But Su Xi actually spoke in the group of three people, she said that millet is willing to cook some decent dishes, just for this kind of heart, let's come over for dinner.
Su Xi's push made Xizao have no choice but to bite the bullet and go to the banquet.
The food cooked by Zhou Mi is very good, but the jujube is tasteless. The scene of a happy family of three is so dazzling, Zhou Mi's considerate care, Tong Tong's well-behaved and sensible, Su Xi's gentle and easy-going, everything that exists is so beautiful It is reasonable, but Xizao is an outsider, she listens as an outsider, and responds to the family trifles that are happily talked at the dinner table. This is their due happiness, Xizao has no reason to get it, let alone destroy it.
Destruction, Xizao said with a wry smile to herself, the destruction had already begun the moment she reunited with Su Xi, and she was the one who initiated it, she was not ashamed.
Why do you have to step in a successful relationship, you must get what you want, when did you become so selfish.
Xizao still can't understand some things, she needs time to understand slowly, but time waits for no one.She seems to have grasped some things, but she doesn't seem to have them. Everything is like the moon in the mirror, illusory and ethereal, and she can only do nothing if she is deeply trapped in it, as if there is a mess in the dark. The rope bound her tightly, and the more she struggled, the tighter the shackles on her body became, so tight that she couldn't breathe. Since she couldn't escape, she had no choice but to resign herself to fate.
Xizao also knew that Su Xi didn't do it on purpose, it was her role, the role of a man and a wife, her laughter at the dinner table, her virtuousness, her pride in her daughter, her slow talk, her love for her. Zhou Mi's tenderness comes from the heart and is natural, because that is her life.
What about Zizao, at the dining table, among the four, what is her role, a familiar friend?A regular guest?
She is nothing.
That night when he got home, Xizao suffered from insomnia again.
I come and go again and again, but in the end I still can't get rid of the ridiculous fate, married woman, unethical love, why do I always fall into such unclean and unclean love, Mo You before, Su Xi now, Xizao think All my feelings so far are just a pale joke, those she gave her heart, can't make it public, and the ending is always embarrassing, those she muddled through, awkward and reluctant, those she was unmoved, ended hastily, in the end, some People have drawn deep wounds on her body, and she has also hurt others severely, which is really karma.
For Xizao, if a relationship cannot be fulfilled, then Xizao will cut off all related connections, throw away the gifts from the other party, erase the traces left by the other party in his life, and clear everything. Before the other party noticed it, the two had already separated.Xizao always stubbornly believes that since they broke up, they can't be friends with each other. Xizao's principle has persisted in her several unresolved relationships over the years, except for the one with Moyou.
Perhaps, from the very beginning, she knew that the initial contact between the two was a deal of what you want, and everyone knew that this relationship was just some kind of short-term mutual comfort, and it would not last long.And in that romantic story, Moyou is the employer, Xizao is the lover, both of them perform their own duties, Xizao got what she deserved from Moyou, and Moyou also got what she deserved from her. Xizao physically filled the loneliness and emptiness of that period.
One day, the contract expires, and all transactions will be terminated immediately, but their relationship is no longer pure at first, they just want to get what they need, and they don't know when they find themselves trapped, maybe the time is not right Wait, maybe Moyou is earlier and Xizao is later, maybe it's just the opposite, but the ending is that both of them are obsessed with the days when they keep each other warm like that. When they realized this, neither of them said anything about this change. Both of them thought that they should stay the same, but in the end, the contract was terminated, Moyou returned to the family, Xizao entered the society, Xizao thought she would leave, but unfortunately no, neither did Moyou, the two developed from an embarrassing relationship at first Became an ambiguous friend.Maybe, if you can't be lovers, you can only be friends.Later, without knowing it, the friendship also turned into a vague family relationship. Xizao always thought that his heart was well received. At the beginning, Moyou was also indifferent, keeping a distance that was neither far nor close, and treated him gently The sad Xizao used his own way to deal with the relationship between them. Xizao became at ease and enjoyed the rare warmth. Of course, fate also created many coincidences for them. Xizao was always in a place where no one could talk to. At that time, I found that Moyou happened to be there, and Moyou always felt the warmth of Xizao inadvertently. The inexplicable relationship between them continued like this, but no one disturbed each other's lives, and Xizao could not. Define what kind of emotion this is, but she thinks this is not the best of the best.
Xizao can't deny that at the beginning, she chose to accept the disgraceful role from Moyou because Moyou has Su Xi's shadow on her body, but the two are different after all, Xizao discovered this At that time, her initial indifference had turned into liking and sincerity, but everything was of no avail, her employment relationship with Moyou had ended, so before Xizao had time to have that person, she had to choose to turn around and let go.
In fact, now the two of them treat each other as relatives, they often greet each other, and they are well with each other, which is also a good result.
As for her and Su Xi, Xi Zao didn't know where the two of them would go in the future and what the ending would be.
The only thing Xizao knows is that Moyou is just an attachment to her, because she has learned to let go of her previous feelings.
But for Su Xi, Xizao's understanding of what kind of feelings she has is always hovering between ambiguity and half-knowledge.
After all, she didn't have the courage to figure it out.
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