Ximenqing loves Wusong [Water Margin]

"Who is this? Why are you dressed like this? Like a monster?"

"Isn't this a man? How could he wear makeup? There are flowers on his temples, and women's clothes on his body? Could it be that a madman from some family has come out?"

"Where does a madman look like this? I think he has beautiful eyebrows and eyes."

"Why does this look look more and more familiar? It seems to be seen before... yo,? He's awake!"

I was woken up by the sound of chattering,? When I opened my eyes, I saw a group of idle men and women gesticulating around my head.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, and found that I was in the busiest market in the county, surrounded by idlers, pointing at me.

He clearly remembered drinking with Wu Er last night, why did he come here now?Raising his hand to touch his head, he was caressing a flower on top of his head, angrily pulled the flower off and threw it aside, opened his mouth and cursed: "Wu Er, where have you been, you bastard?"

It’s okay if you don’t open your mouth,? As soon as you open your mouth, the people around you explode.

A storekeeper dressed strangely: "Hey, isn't this a senior official from Ximen? Senior official, why are you dressed like this today?"

I wondered, "What kind of clothes are you wearing?"

The shopkeeper took out a mirror from behind and pointed it at me: "Your official,? Look at it yourself."

Glancing in the mirror, I almost peed my pants in fright.

I saw a monster in the mirror, with a woman's bun on her head, powder three feet thick on her face, two eyebrows that looked like ink sticks, two lumps of pig blood-like rouge on her cheeks, her mouth There is also a large mole on the side.

I jumped up in fright and covered my face with my hands.

This jump was terrible. I broke away from the woman's dress on my body. The upper half of the sleeves did not reach the elbow, and the lower half of the skirt did not reach the knee, revealing the dense leg hair on the calf, and wearing it on bare feet. The pair of embroidered shoes.

The crowd exploded in an instant, all pointing at me and laughing so hard that I couldn't straighten up.

The shopkeeper suppressed a smile and said, "Did you drink too much yesterday? First go to the small shop and change into better clothes!"

Even a fool knows who is playing tricks on me!

In my stomach, Wu Song cursed fiercely with the eighteen scolding generals I had learned all my life. I lowered my head and was about to follow behind the shopkeeper. : "Your Majesty, it turns out that my mother asked you to wear my clothes?"

It was the horse matchmaker who had the most nosy affairs on the street.

I was so embarrassed that I was about to say that I would pay her some money.

The matchmaker horse sat down on the ground, patted her thigh, and cried loudly: "Mrs. Ma, I am so miserable. I took a bath last night to dry my clothes next to me, but as soon as I turned around, the high officials wore them away. Didn't he take a good look at my mother-in-law and me?

God!My wife, I have been a widow for 20 years, but I have always guarded myself like a jade. Now that I have been seen by high officials, how can I live! "

This embarrasses me, and I said anxiously: "Mrs. Ma, don't talk nonsense! I am not the one who stole your clothes, and I didn't even look at you as a senior official!"

The horse matchmaker raised her head, her face was full of sensuality, but she had a pair of triangular old eyes that were flirting.

"Senior officer, why are you so anxious? I'm not blaming you, but you should give me justice!

Although I am a widow, I have always been innocent. Apart from my dead husband, I have never been seen by a man. A high official is not an unreasonable person!

Now that you are willing to marry me, you are protecting my innocence!Isn't this matter settled? "

Nani?

Looking at her old face wrinkled like a walnut skin, I just felt my stomach churn, and I covered my face and turned around to run.

How could the horse matchmaker let me escape? She hugged my leg and said repeatedly: "Don't be angry, senior officials, I just spoke a little too quickly! I'm afraid you didn't understand, I didn't tell you to marry me as the first wife, I am also willing to ask me to be the sixth concubine in your house!

Although I am not as charming as those concubines of yours, I am a woman who will hurt people when I am old!

By the way, the high official doesn't have a son yet, does he?Woman, I have three sons.

If you marry me, I will discipline them all to take the surname of Ximen's family, and they will all call you your own father from now on! "

Put your head in your hands, want to cry but have no tears!An old thunder from the sky strikes me to death!Calling this kind of old shrew Yinwa to be entangled, it is really better to hit her head to death!

Someone nearby suppressed a smile and came to talk about the matchmaker: "Mr. Ma, are you out of your mind? The official is too drunk to wear one of your clothes by mistake, so you want him to marry you by force?

Tomorrow all the widows in the city will send their clothes to Ximen's mansion for the officials to wear.

Who doesn't know that high officials are born rich and noble, and they will love women.You can have sweet dreams!

Please, your mother-in-law should be 60 years old after the new year, right?An old face like bark is thicker too! "

Matchmaker Ma hugged my leg and did not let go: "Why am I so cheeky that I fell in love with a high official? Anyway, if he refuses to marry me today, I will go to the county government to sue him! According to the laws of the Song Dynasty, humiliation Those who become widows must be punished with death!"

All the women next to me stopped doing it, and snatched me out of her hand: "Shameless woman, you have to kill such a handsome official, it's too heartless. Let go of your hands, your hands Let us loose!"

Another woman bent down to break the woman's hand, and took the opportunity to rub the oil back and forth on my leg.

Pitiful, the black and beautiful hair on the legs was stolen several times by these women!

It's only because Ximen's official is too charming, all the women on the street are crazy at this time!Just out of the claws of the horse matchmaker, I don't know which woman fell into the arms again, rubbing against my body with her strong chest, almost throwing me up.

When I was hopeless, I saw a man sitting on the roof not far away, with a pancake in his mouth, staring at me with a smirk while gnawing on it.

A burst of anger rushed to the door, and I yelled: "Black-hearted Wu Er, you actually trap me like this!" I grabbed the woman beside me by force, flew into the room, and punched me.

He flinched back lightly, still smiling with a pancake in his mouth: "Don't high officials love matchmaking most of the time? I'm going to change you into a matchmaker, are you still angry?"

I was annoyed: "I'm a matchmaker for you out of good intentions, but you're playing tricks on me like this, it's a pity that I still treat you as a friend!"

He spread his hands: "You love matchmaking, so I'll dress you up as a decent matchmaker, aren't you happy?"

Stop talking nonsense with him, and kick him with [-]% force value. At the moment, he grabbed my ankle and whistled at the people below: "Look at the bottom of the official's skirt!"

I almost forgot that I was still wearing a matchmaker's skirt, and there was a pair of shorts below the knee. When I raised my leg, most of my legs were clearly seen by the people below, and all the women in the street were screaming: "The official has good legs!" Bai! I love to kill you!"

I really didn't expect the women in the Song Dynasty to be so open!

I forcefully covered the bottom of my skirt to get my feet back, but Wu Song didn't let go, grabbed my leg with his hand and blew on it: "White is white, but my legs are too hairy, it hurts my hands!"

There was another round of laughter underneath, and many women jumped up and rushed to catch the leg hair!

I grimaced from the pain, I really wanted to kill him, I kicked him in the chest and cursed loudly: "Wu Er, you are too much!"

The pancake in his mouth was kicked away by me but he was not annoyed, he turned around and ran away with all his white teeth bared.

I chased him after him, and the guy ran quickly along the beams of the house, and led me to the river outside the city in a short while.

As soon as he landed on the river beach, his feet hurt from the sand and stones. He ran too fast just now, and the pair of little shoes of the matchmaker had already been run away.

I jumped on the spot a few times and endured the pain to hit him. This time he stopped hiding, looked at me and laughed, "Hey, you haven't calmed down after running for so long?"

"I can't wait to eat all your flesh and drink all your blood!" I grabbed his arm and bit down on it. He tensed his shoulder, not only couldn't bite, but he got a toothache.

I didn't give up, I bit his arm all the way up until it bit on his shoulder, and then he frowned and hummed lightly, saying: "Hey, it's almost done!"

I loosened my teeth and glared at him angrily.

He laughed again: "Are you kidding me, why are you so angry?"

"You are making a good joke! From now on, I will never be able to live in the city!"

Jumping on his legs and scolding him, he was stung by the stones under his feet, so he found a big stone by the river and sat on it. Seeing the strange face reflected in the river, he felt ashamed and angry again. !

A man who is nearly 30 years old is so ugly in public, tomorrow the whole city will regard me as a laughing stock!

Hastily washed off all the powder on his face, untied all his hair and rinsed it in the water, and then drove away the smell of low-quality powder on his body.

He tore off the matchmaker's blouse and threw it far away, and sat on the stone with shirtless arms and sulking.

He sat down again, holding a pancake and shaking it in front of my eyes: "Hey, you've been running for a while, aren't you hungry?"

What are you hungry for?I'm full of gas!

Turn your back and ignore him.

He rubbed his arm against my back again: "Isn't it cold without a shirt? Do you want to take off mine and wear it for you?"

Hmph, hypocrisy!

Seeing that I ignored him, he smiled cheekily again: "Why is it harder to coax than a woman?"

I sneered at myself: "You speak as if you have coaxed a woman?"

He nodded: "Don't tell me, I really haven't coaxed the second master! Women are too troublesome, and it's too late to escape? How can I coax her?

But some people even came to my house to talk about the matchmaker, do you think he is busy? "

Ah?What an ignorant person!

I stood up and twisted the corner of my skirt, and said with a sneer, "Yes, I am troublesome. I am not only troublesome, but also sentimental. I know that Master Wu has never used me as a dish. Do people worry about it? You really have too much time to spare. From now on, the two of us will be as good as the river, so let’s just let it go.”

I turned around to leave, but he grabbed my wrist: "Isn't it?"

Too much!

From the day I met you, I knew you were my nemesis.

The trip to Tokyo made me realize that we are not the same kind of people at all.

Along the way, I have carefully managed and calculated everywhere, firstly to avoid disaster, and secondly to get close to you.

Now I realize that I was wrong.

In your eyes, you look down on me just like Ruda.

I am a mercenary businessman, and you are all heroes.

Kindly welcome me, it just makes you despise me even more, treat me as a plaything, as a joke!

It's ridiculous, but I was fascinated by lust, and only now can I see everything clearly.

It's time to let go of the affection you shouldn't have, and teach the rest of your life to be safe!

Fortunately, that's exactly what I planned...

He insisted on leaving, but felt another tightness on his wrist, the man suddenly said coldly: "If you want to leave, wait a moment before leaving, I will kill someone for you first!"