[HP Doujin] 1943

There were more and more petty frictions between me and Francis. Gradually, his attitude towards me became more and more indifferent, and he was completely different from him when we first got married.

It was in this atmosphere that 1948 arrived.Because we have lived in London for a long time, in the middle of February, Melinda was sent back by the nanny and nurses, and Francis' face brightened when he saw his daughter alive and kicking.Originally he was in a cold war with me, and once Melinda came back, he spent all his free time with her shopping for new clothes, riding horses and watching Quidditch, almost completely ignoring my existence.

Melinda doesn't like me.But fortunately, she is not me when I was a child, and she will not use all kinds of tricks to trick me.Like her father, she is a proud Stuart, and she expresses her dislike for me in a cold and distant attitude.

I know the servants at home are talking about our Cold War.One night, I was in a particularly depressed mood, so I went to Leicester Street, where I had been away for a long time, while Becca was not paying attention.

Compared with the West End of London where we live, Leicester Street near Christmas is gloomy and dirty.I was walking slowly on the street, feeling a sense of depression and desolation in my heart.The streets I used to run through are still the same, but my father doesn't live here anymore.After my marriage he went to Italy alone, and left gloomy England forever.

I came from this dirty and sinful world, and I was not born a charming, soft-spoken, masked dame, I was like a gypsy dancing barefoot in a park, wearing The fiery red long skirt, regardless of tomorrow after today, is presumptuous and bold, that is the normal state that my life should have.

I walked around, and unknowingly came to the familiar river.In the cold January, the river was frozen, and a mist came from the slums on the bank. The garbage piled up in mountains. Stray dogs and cats rummaged through the garbage for food, while homeless people strolled along the river. , Looking for spiritual support.

After walking for a long time, I was also tired, so I sat down by the river with a cold body, staring at the foggy Thames in a daze.The sky was gloomy, and a blizzard was brewing in the sky. I looked at the dim lights across the river, and all I could think of were the pictures I saw when I was squatting in the bridge hole when I was a child. The lights in my memory were so gentle, symbolizing the West End of London. Nobility and prosperity, and perhaps the vanity dream in the heart of that little girl.

But all I want is a kiss from that boy in the mud.

"Elizabeth?" an uncertain voice rang out behind me.

I turned around and saw Tom.He strode towards me, took off his thick cloak and wrapped it around me, frowning: "What are you doing here? You are shaking all over."

I wanted to stand up, but when I stood up, my legs became weak. I grabbed his arm so that I didn't fall down.

I gradually stabilized myself, then let go of him, lowered my head and said "I'm sorry", and then asked him, "What are you doing here?"

He smiled: "Come to see a friend."

Seeing that he was still looking at me searchingly, I reluctantly replied: "I'm here for a walk, nothing to do."

"Then I'll walk with you," he said, extending an arm to me.

I stared at him blankly for a few seconds before I reached out and grabbed him.The moment I held him in my arms, a complex and strong emotion rushed into my heart, and my eyes were red.

I turned my head away, not wanting him to see my expression.

We walked in silence for a long time, and he stopped suddenly, pointed to a low wall, and said, "Look, this is where we first met. We all jumped on the roof, and I threatened you, Tell you to stay away from the children in the orphanage."

I laughed out loud, my thoughts were immersed in those long memories, and the scene in front of me was in a trance.Never in my life have I longed to go back to the past as much as I do now.

Suddenly, I blurted out, "Why didn't you come back sooner? Why didn't you tell me you'd be back?"

This is the first time I've asked him this question since he came back.

He stared at the lonely scene of the gray-black street without saying a word.Looking at his familiar side face, all my emotions suddenly collapsed.I pushed him away, crying and said: "When I got engaged, everyone around me was so happy! It seems that I have finally done one thing right since I was a child. Those young female therapists in the hospital The teacher looks at me with envy every day. The news of my engagement with Francis was published in the Daily Prophet. I feel that my vanity has never been so satisfied. But you know, I am not happy. 5 It's been months since I've been pushed forward by countless hands, all the blessings for me and Francis, Tony, my mom, old man Randall, Gillian, I'm overwhelmed by the blessings Mind, I thought I was doing this right too."

"Since you are leaving, why don't you go completely? Why do you want to come back? If you don't come back, maybe this is my whole life. I will live a good life and be a Stuart like you said Ma'am, gradually becoming a plump housewife and a central figure in London society...but why do you come back to torture me?"

He turned and hugged me, and I've never hated him more than at that moment, my fists rained down on his chest.He hugged me tightly without saying a word, and I was so out of breath from crying that I finally buried my face in the shirt on his chest, greedily sniffing the faint ink and wood smell on his body that had not been seen for a long time.

I said, "You take me away, Tom, I'm going to the ends of the earth with you."

He hugged me and remained silent for a few minutes before he gently raised my head and looked at me.

His dark eyes were so deep, so bright, so familiar.I looked into his eyes as if looking into the depths of my own soul.A crystal tear fell from the corner of his eye, so slowly, so slowly, it seemed unreal.

I looked at him in disbelief.He actually cried.This is the first time I've seen this tough man shed tears.

"Elizabeth," he said softly in a low voice, "stay well with Stuart. You will have several children, you will be a good mother, and then you will live your life steadily half life."

I stared at him blankly.

"I'm serious about Adelaide," he said. "We were all just messing around. Stop being a kid."

He gently let me go, then gently broke away my fingers holding his clothes, took two steps back, and disappeared.

I hailed a taxi and went back to the Strand.

When I returned home in a daze, it was past nine o'clock, and it started to snow again.When I entered, I took off my wet cloak, changed my muddy boots, and headed upstairs.

The bedroom was dark and empty.I just arrived at the bedside and was about to change clothes when someone gently pulled the light cord and the bedside lamp came on. Francis sat on the sofa with his legs crossed and looked at me coldly.

"where did you go?"

The movements of my hands paused, and I said calmly, "Go for a walk."

"Where did you go?"

Because I was too tired, I didn't have the energy to lose my temper with him, and waves of burnout and impatience flooded my heart: "I don't have wings, how far can I go?"

Francis dropped the cigar in the ashtray, stood up with his hands in his trouser pockets, walked over and looked at me standing beside the bedpost, and squeezed my wrist with one hand, making me gasp in pain.

"Who did you go out with?"

"Myself."

"Then whose cloak did you wear when you came back?"

"What's your business?" I said, "I'm not your house-elf, and I'm under no obligation to report my every move to you!"

"Really?" He sneered, "Even if you cuckolded me outside? Do you think I didn't know your original boyfriend Riddle when we got married? You loved him to death, and then he didn't want you anymore, yes I fished you out of the mire. If it wasn't for—"

He gasped for breath and paused, as if hesitating for a while whether to say what he just wanted to say.

I smiled, raised my head, and got very close to his face, our breath fell on each other's face.

"What else?" I said, "if you didn't think I was pretty, you great Stuart wouldn't have touched me, would you? Oh, and if I hadn't conceived in one night A boy, you will never marry me, will you?"

"Shut up!" His eyes were red with anger, "You don't even know what nonsense you are talking about!"

I sneered, pulled out my hand, turned around and left.

"Where are you going?" He chased after me.

"The farther away from you the better." I said, breaking free from him and walking forward.

We were pulling in the hallway, he was much stronger than me, and I could do anything when I was mad.I bit him hard on the arm and he let go in pain and I pushed him away but I pushed so hard I didn't notice the main staircase behind me.With Francis yelling, I fell down the stairs.

******

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Francis, gaunt and unshaven with bloodshot eyes.He sat by my bed, watched me wake up, and said to me, "The baby is healthy."

I looked at him and didn't speak.I thought the birth of my son was nothing short of a miracle.I rolled down the stairs, but he survived smoothly. As expected of my son, his vitality is stronger than that of a snail.

He said to me: "His name is Charles Stuart, and he was born at one o'clock in the morning on the 2nd of February."

I nodded.

"Are you disappointed?" he said to me. "You never wanted to have this baby for me in the first place, did you?"

I smiled mockingly: "On the contrary, I am very happy. Now my son is the legal heir of all your property. When you die, I am not afraid of insecurity. Even if we divorce, you must at least keep your manor Give me."

He was so angry that he reached out and smashed the pitcher next to my bed against the wall.Several maids and therapists from outside the door ran in to see what was going on.

"Get out!" He yelled loudly with red eyes, and they scrambled out in fright.

"You're disappointed I didn't fall to my death?" I said meanly. "If I died, you could marry that woman named Jacqueline back, wouldn't you? Oh, yes, and Ellie No, your illegitimate daughter can also come back to be with Melinda."

He was trembling with anger, and seemed to have exhausted all his strength to control himself from jumping up and strangling me to death.

After a few minutes, he said coldly: "I found a house for you in Yorkshire. You can live there alone when you are better. I don't want to see you again. You don't want to see your house again." Son and Melinda."

"You can't stop me from seeing my son."

"Really?" He sneered, and he clenched his hand into a fist and propped it beside my pillow. There was a faint smell of cologne on his wrist. I saw platinum cuff buttons on his striped shirt, and on the cuffs Engraved with "FS" motif.

"Only you?" he said. "I'm not divorcing you, I just don't want everyone to know that Charles and Melinda have a ruined mother. You live in York alone, and everyone else will know that you are unwell." , recuperating in York. If there is a public occasion where the two of us need to be seen together, my assistant will let you know the itinerary in advance. Do as I say. Otherwise, I can assure you, I will let you and your Mr. Riddle All dead."

I know I'm no match for him.The most I can do is gain the upper hand in words.

I lay on the Strand for more than two months before my body gradually recovered.During this period, Francis had been living in Scotland, and ignored me.

When I got better, I moved to the red brick house in Yorkshire, with only Becca by my side.It was the spring of 1948, and the Yorkshire countryside was beautiful, but my heart was cold and confused.When asked, we say that I was unwell after childbirth, could not stand the London air and the Scottish cold, and lived first in the York countryside.

It never occurred to me that a woman would have a motherhood after giving birth to a child.Francis wouldn't let me see the kids, and every night I dreamed about little Charles, my first son.Many times I woke up crying and lay in the dark until dawn.

The early summer of 1948 arrived, and the London summer social season began, and Francis had countless entertainments.He is the most face-saving person. Every time there is a banquet that cannot be rejected, he will send an assistant to take me to London. Sometimes there are several dinner parties in a row, and I will live on the Strand Street.He slept in the master bedroom, and I slept in the guest room. The two of them did not interfere with each other, and they didn't say a word.

In early August, I went to London again.This time it was because Sylvia had given birth to a daughter, and the Black family planned to throw a big party for the new arrival.

On the night of the banquet, I was wearing a long crimson dress, holding Francis' arm, and walking in the brightly lit banquet hall.

Many reporters stood guard at the door, and cameras flickered towards us as we walked by.He took my waist leisurely, stood in front of the camera and asked them to take pictures, with a bright smile on his face.

Tom was there, too, with Adelaide the whole time, and Hepzibah Smith, the old Hufflepuff octopus.

I am like a legendary vampire, talking and laughing in the bright lights, dressed in bright clothes, showing the best side to my heart's content.But when the lights went out and the curtain fell, all the smirks on my face disappeared. Looking around, I suddenly found that the hall and the dance floor were all ruins with cobwebs hanging under the moonlight.

This is the real life of those of us who live inside.

Sylvia was in great spirits, sitting in the garden, discussing with everyone what to name the girl.

This is the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen and I laughed out loud as I teased her by the stroller.

"That's a pretty little girl," Georgiana said aside.

"I like the name Joyce," Sylvia said, and many people echoed.

At this time, a person came up behind me, looked down at the baby, and a familiar smell came, and I was caught off guard and shuddered all over.

Tom's deep voice whispered in my ear, "Bella. Bellatrix."

My smile froze on my face, and Sylvia was also startled. She raised her head, and for some reason, the expression on her face became a little panicked, and the roots of her ears turned red.

Seeing Sylvia's expression, I was shocked in my heart - I remembered what she once said to me: "Tom came to me after he came back from you. He made love to me."

Sylvia soon married her cousin, Cygnus Black, and there was no doubt that the dark-eyed baby was Sylvia and Cygnus' eldest daughter.

"That's a good name indeed," she whispered, with a complicated smile. "Then she'll be called Bella. Thank you, Tom."

Tom bent over behind me, looked down at the baby, and almost wrapped me in his arms.

After everyone started talking again, he whispered to me in a barely audible voice, "See you in the conservatory in 10 minutes."

After 10 minutes, I found an excuse and left the lawn, and came to the greenhouse on the side of the manor where raincoats, rubber shoes, gardening tools and other sundries were placed.

The greenhouse was quiet and cool. Tom was standing by the wooden partition with a row of ceramic vases, playing with a withered tulip in his hand.He was wearing a simple white shirt and had a tall and handsome figure.Hearing my footsteps, he turned around, looked at me, and asked hoarsely, "Elizabeth, are you okay?"

I was slightly taken aback, I didn't expect that he called me out just to ask me this question.I couldn't speak a word.I looked at him, nodded, then shook my head again.

He looked at me, hesitant to speak.

I turned around and left, but he followed in one step, slammed the door of the greenhouse, and locked the door with a click.His movements were astonishingly fast. Before I could react, he pushed me against the door, wrapped his arms around my waist, and held me tightly in his arms.

He lowered his head and began to kiss me slowly.His breath was hot and lingering. I hugged his neck and fell into his breath. At that moment, all worldly views left me, and I only wanted him.Even if someone opens the door and comes in, I don't care anymore.Even if I am completely ruined from now on, I don't care anymore.

I gasped in his ear and said, "Tom, help me."

"In the beginning, you were the one who wanted to jump into the fire pit."

"I knew you would save me."

"why?"

"Because I love you."

He looked at me with a smile: "You can only go to hell if you follow me."

"I do not care."

It started raining again.The fine raindrops surrounded the black lamppost, dense and urgent, flying and spinning in all directions.The warm and humid air reverberated with laughter, voices and music, and faint singing came from the record player in the corridor, like drops of water dripping from stalactites. But endlessly.

Heartscall, heartsfall, hearts are calling, hearts are falling,

Swallowed in the rain. Swallowed in the rain.

Whoknows, lifegrows,

Hollowandsovain. Floating in the endless void.

Wandering in the winter light,

The wicked and the sane, the wicked and the sane,

Bearwitnesstosalvation, witness to salvation,

And life starts again. Life starts again. 【26】

"I love this song," he said.

I said, "I like it too."

He smiled wickedly, held out a hand to me, and said, "Don't regret it."

He took my hand, pushed open the door, walked out of the greenhouse, and walked towards the most brightly lit and crowded hall.

Crystal chandeliers shone bright and sparkling above the dance floor.He put his arms around my waist with one hand, clasped my fingers with the other, and started dancing in the middle of the dance floor.

I look into his eyes.There was a dark smile in his eyes.I know he's kidding me.

At the end of the song, the band began to play the king of Spanish tango "PorUnaCabeza" [27].The violin plays a sexy and seductive melody, enchanting and charming, with a torrent of wildness and desire rushing in the lingering, it seems that our love and hate for so many years are all burning and blooming in this deep winter dance music.

Tom wore a white shirt with sleeves turned up to the elbows and tucked into suit trousers.Such a simple and casual dress, but it set off his almost perfect tall and slender figure.The two of us are natural dance partners. Even if we have never practiced, we can dance this tango smoothly and freely. I spin faster and faster, and the smile on my face becomes more and more wanton and real. Spin down and fly.

He stared at me closely, the corners of his mouth raised in a familiar arc, with a smirk, and his dark eyes shone with an incomparably powerful arrogance.

At the end of the song, I noticed that there were only the two of us left on the dance floor, and everyone else surrounded the dance floor, looking at us dumbfounded.After a few seconds, people gradually came back to their senses. The applause first broke out at random, and then flooded the entire hall, as if a thrilling drama had just kicked off its gorgeous prelude.

Tom put his arms around my waist and stood in the center of the dance floor with the brightest lights. At that moment, I suddenly understood that what Francis gave me was a prison with soft walls, but what Tom gave me was the freedom of the whole world.

【26】From Linda Ronstadt, Winter Light, 1993;

[27] Taken from the famous Spanish tango song Poruna Cabeza (Poruna Cabeza), this gorgeous, noble and moving tango song appears in many film soundtracks. Familiar with and deeply in love with the tango melody, composed by Carlos Gardel, the most famous uncrowned king of Argentine tango in the history of Argentina.