I'm in Delingha tonight

Zhou Hengwen contacted him after blocking him.

Ridiculous, ridiculous, even helpless... In an instant, it surged up and wrapped him up.

Chi Nian was standing on the balcony, this realization made him dizzy suddenly, and his feet were a little soft, so he had to grab the edge of the balcony to stand still.Night Breeze shuttled among the tall buildings, and after a while, he regained his strength.

"It's a lie, he has long been unable to control and manipulate you..." Chi Nian comforted himself silently.

Compared with people who don't know where to hide, Xi Shan is outside and can be caught at a distance of a few meters.

Don't be afraid.

Bending over to pick up the phone and open the previous interface, Chi Nian's eyes turned black, as if a sign before the onset of hypoglycemia.But he knew it was all a psychological effect, he exhaled slowly, and crouched down to reconfirm the WeChat account that sent the friend application - birthday, initials, it was definitely Zhou Hengwen.

Because of the carpet, the phone didn't break, and it didn't even make a sound.Chi Nian stared at the line with red eyes, thought a lot, and finally clicked "Reject".

After thinking about it, refusing was not enough, he should be blocked.

Chi Nian squatted down covering his eyes, feeling a little headache,

Even without wearing any memory filters, Chi Nian had to admit that they were not having a hard time.When we first met, Zhou Hengwen was a gentle and excellent senior who took care of him everywhere, and spent a long honeymoon period after we got together.But he also admitted that he didn't know when his relationship changed, from "care" of the other party to pleasing himself everywhere.

Zhuo Pei'an said that Zhou Hengwen was good at playing with emotions, but he didn't realize it either.

In July, not long after discovering that the other party was missing, Chi Nian came back to his senses, his mind was full of "Can we meet again".With his personality, he certainly couldn't do the thing of getting back together after being abandoned, but at that time, if he really saw Zhou Hengwen, he would most likely want to ask him a question:

"You used five years to tease me, 40, is it enough?"

But in Delingha, he said to himself, now is a new life.

Don't talk about Zhou Hengwen any more, just treat it as the summer when this person died in Beijing, and treat it as a lesson spent for money...

Others may love money, but Chi Nian fell in pain, and after an impulsive trip to the Northwest, now he feels that it is the best result for his life to be on the right track, otherwise he should have been trapped to death in that Gobi Desert.

Probably, he has never been short of money since he was a child, so he took this aspect lightly, but he is extremely dependent on feelings, too dependent, so he couldn't think about it for a while after they separated.

Seeing that name, past titles, many memories filled Chi Nian's mind instantly.Memories are both sour and sweet, but more of them are painful, stabbing Chi Nian one after another, insisting on making him bruised and bruised.

This news made him feel as if he had suddenly returned to his small hotel room in summer in Beijing, dull, dusty and uncertain.Chi Nian's nose was sour and his eyes hot uncontrollably, and when he reached out to touch it, it was full of water marks.

what am i doing...

"Chi Nian?" Xi Shan's voice came from the living room, "Are you asleep?"

Chi Nian hurriedly rubbed his face: "What?"

Xuebi responded and ran to the door of the second bedroom, standing in a small group in the light, as if sensing that he was in a bad mood, she hurried over, her little nose rubbed Chi Nian's hand hanging by her side, asking him to touch her.

"...Naughty." Chi Nian said in a low voice, laughing through tears.

When going out with the dog in his arms, Chi Nian secretly looked at himself from the black vase next to the TV cabinet.The tip of the nose was still a little red, but the tears were no longer visible.

He sat down next to Xi Shan, and Xuebi stopped hugging immediately, and climbed onto Xi Shan's lap, lying on his stomach and rubbing around.Chi Nian glanced at Xi Shan's iPad on the other side, which was vaguely the beginning of a movie.

Can't make out which movie it is, the picture quality is a bit old.

In the next second, Xi Shan noticed his gaze, turned his head, and his eyes curved gently when he smiled again: "I found a movie to pass the time, do you want to watch it together?"

Of course Chi Nian would not refuse.

The light was turned off, and the room was instantly filled with the light from the screen, making Chi Nian feel uncomfortable for no reason, as if he had been locked in a closed space.He didn't touch the glass of water that Xi Shan poured, and the large piece of color in the movie that was burnt yellow by the sun didn't catch his eyes - Chi Nian couldn't stop himself from thinking about the verification message at all.

The illusion of the screen is intertwined with memories, and his whole body is as light as floating.But this time because of panic, Chi Nian couldn't step on the ground, and his eyes became red again with anxiety.

Sweat, desire, Beijing.

The summer sun is so hot that it is so bright that the eyes are blackened in bursts.

Chi Nian couldn't take it anymore, he stood up abruptly, and Sprite let out a hum when he raised his head, stopping the shaking picture on the screen.Xi Shan straightened up and pulled Chi Nian's wrist.

"What's wrong?" His voice seemed to be separated by a layer of fog.

"...It's okay." Chi Nian tried to be brave, but his legs were limp and he sat back on the sofa, and Xi Shan said in an almost begging tone, "Can I stop watching the movie about 'Beijing'?"

Just like when he was going to take him to see National Highway 315, Xi Shan seemed to understand that he was in a bad mood, but he pressed the button to turn off the TV without asking any further questions.

There was no sound and no light.

The lights were still off, so that his breakdown could not be hidden.Outside the window is the river view, and the dark blue night pours in, alleviating the withered yellowness left in the vision.

Xi Shan couldn't see his expression clearly, Chi Nian thought, that's great.

He knows that he must be weak and helpless now, although he hasn't cried yet, as long as he is looked at, he can find that he is holding back, maybe when Xi Shan turns around, he will lose control of his tear glands on the spot - just like the first time they met.

Even if it is not in the Gobi, there will be no low temperature and wolves, Chi Nian now seems to be submerged in yellow sand and is about to suffocate.

And Xi Shan in front of him was something he could catch.

His eyes slowly adapted to the darkness, and he saw Xi Shan's deep eyes were bright, staring at him intently.This perception made Chi Nian even more sad, and also disappointed that his withdrawal from negative emotions was about to fail.

"I can..." Chi Nian's throat trembled uncontrollably as soon as he spoke, "Can I give you a hug?"

The black eyes moved slightly, and erratic confusion and questions flashed in them, but Xi Shan was only silent for a while, then approached Chi Nian, and opened his arms calmly.

"Come here, crybaby."

As soon as the words fell, he didn't wait for Chi Nian to take the initiative to lean over, and pulled Chi Nian's wrist.The center of gravity on the sofa was unstable, Chi Nian couldn't help leaning towards Xi Shan, and his bodies were pressed together tightly.

Xi Shan hugged him, patting his back lightly with his palms, in a completely comforting gesture.

Chi Nian's nose soured, and he couldn't care less about their relationship now and whether it was appropriate to do so. His eyes pressed against Xi Shan's collarbone, and his tears wet Xi Shan's clothes silently.

The knitted sweater is soft, but it will leave marks after being attached to the face for a long time.Chi Nian had a very light smell on the tip of his nose, probably the base note of some kind of perfume, with a bit of unknown sweetness, not greasy, like a ripe fruit that naturally exudes a fragrance.

Is it Xi Shan's breath?

Chi Nian thought, and finally found himself from the boundless suffocation.

He didn't hold her for a long time, and after crying and his mood eased, he took the initiative to let go.Chi Nian was no longer afraid of being seen crying by the other party, rubbing his eyes and laughing at himself: "I don't know what's wrong..."

The night and the dark environment made Xi Shan's voice extraordinarily quiet, and Chi Nian could clearly hear his breathing when speaking: "It's okay to cry, but—"

"Ok?"

"If you feel so sad that you can't bear it anymore, you can tell me, it will feel better." His hand was still on Chi Nian's shoulder, and while talking, Xi Shan lifted it up and rubbed Chi Nian's hair .

When his fingertips touched his red ears, Chi Nian's nose sore, and he almost cried again.

The film finally freezes at less than halfway through.Chi Nian was physically and mentally exhausted, went to bed early, and the bedding in the second bedroom was washed cleanly. In the autumn in the south, there was no smell of being exposed to the sun.

Only the sweet smell of Xi Shan's clothes permeated his dream bit by bit.

Chi Nian slept very peacefully.

A few days later, Chi Nian had another biological clock in his life:

Get up early, use a leash to take Sprite around the community to meet your physical needs, and then stop by to buy breakfast for two, usually small noodles or soy milk fritters.After tidying up, Chi Nian took the light rail to go to work in the studio. Xi Shan was handicapped, so he didn't go to the two restaurants to prepare for business, so he took the light rail to Lanshan to stay for a while.

They would have dinner together on a regular basis, sometimes it was simple home-cooked dishes made by Chi Nian, and sometimes takeaway.After dinner, Chi Nian took Sprite out, and Xi Shan washed the dishes.

Xi Shan has no bad habits, rarely smokes at home, and does not drink too much.Every night they said good night suddenly, and then each fell into a dream—a little closer than a shared roommate, but still more distant than a lover.

It sounds very regular. If Zhou Hengwen hadn't disturbed him, Chi Nian would have felt that he and Xi Shan had already started living together in advance.

After the first harassment was fruitless, Zhou Hengwen sent another friend request the next day.Chi Nian was blocked, and he immediately changed his account not long after, praying for forgiveness and saying good things.

This lasted for a week, and Chi Nian's mood kept fluctuating.

In October, Beijing is sunny and golden autumn, and the southern cities are foggy, and the coolness of the wind far exceeds other perceptions of humidity.Xi Shan's leg is recovering well, and after reexamination, there is basically no serious problem.

"I'm wondering whether to move out."

When he said this, Xi Shan was having dinner with Chi Nian.Bone soup, scrambled eggs with tomato, and strict implementation of the light recipe prescribed by the doctor, made Xi Shan a little depressed.

The night before yesterday, I went to the supermarket to buy a discounted large stick bone. Chi Nian got up early and put it in the pot and stewed it slowly for a whole day. The meat was shaved off, and the bone and the small pieces of meat that could not be torn off were thrown to Sprite Moya .The puppy was rewarded with a big bone, and happily huddled under the dining table and gnawed.

"Ah?" Xi Shan raised his head, his thin lips were a little greasy from drinking the soup.

"You're almost fine..." Chi Nian observed his expression, thought for a while, and said, "I'll be able to move out in a few days."

"Is it not good to live here?" Xi Shan asked back.

Chi Nian was embarrassed and found a few reasons: "No, I... Now that the season is changing, I only brought some clothes. Anyway, you can move around freely. It may be a little inconvenient for me to be here. For example, if you want to bring clothes People come back..."

That being said, he knew in his heart that Xi Shan was not the type who would take the initiative to take someone home for the night.After staying for more than a week, Chi Nian didn't even meet any friends who came to visit.

He was just making excuses, if he continued to hold back, in case Zhou Hengwen did something again, it would be difficult for him to lose control again and again in front of Xi Shan.

As an adult, it’s best to hide a breakdown and digest it alone.

Xi Shan stared at him steadfastly, put down the white porcelain bowl, as if sighing: "I thought about whether to mention it before, but actually—"

"I don't think so..."

"Actually, it's totally possible to move here." Xi Shan ignored Chi Nian's weak struggle, "Look, if you live here, you can save a few thousand rents every month."

Chi Nian's heart was warm, he pursed his lips, and broke an egg into pieces.

"Is this an invitation?" He asked Xi Shan in a low voice.

"Yes." Xi Shan held his chin, and at an angle that Chi Nian couldn't see, there was a gentle spring wave in his eyebrows, "Nian Nian, come and be my roommate."

Chi Nian chuckled.

As if he had been confessed so sweetly, he regained his appetite and ate with big mouthfuls.Xi Shan occasionally said, "Don't eat so fast", and handed a piece of packed salt-fried meat to Chi Nian's bowl.

For the second time, Xi Shan pulled him back.