I'm in Delingha tonight

In the summer night, the faint chirping of insects could be heard from time to time in the shadow of the trees.

Delingha seldom has piercing cicadas, and the temperature gets lower the later the night, and even people can't stand the cold wind that stays the same throughout the seasons.

Xi Shan stepped onto the side of the road from the embankment, and found that he was indeed boasting secretly: not to mention people coming and going, in the dark environment, people's vision is far worse than in the daytime.Xi Shan almost gave up this idea, thinking about asking "Where are you?" Chi Nian probably wouldn't think so much.

But at this moment, he saw a familiar bird's nest head lying on the edge of the river bank, facing the gurgling water, with its head lowered, as if resting on its arm in a daze - Chi Nian's hair was soft, maybe it was naturally curly, maybe it had been permed later, and was When the wind blows, it can become a bird's nest.

The bird's nest moved its head and turned half of its face, it was really Chi Nian.

That appearance made Xi Shan couldn't help laughing, and walked over there without disturbing him.

There were very few people setting up stalls by the river, Xi Shan passed by a little girl's hand-held fireworks stall, and seeing that her market was not doing well that night, he bought a few.

He walked around with the plastic bag, then quickly tapped Chi Nian's left shoulder: "Hey Chi Nian."

Chi Nian turned around in confusion, and when he saw him, he showed vivid joy: "Wow, why are you... What a coincidence!"

"Well, what a coincidence." Xi Shan said, lying on the bank of the river with him.

The wind made my head hurt a little, Chi Nian couldn't stand it at first, and sat back on the steps instead.They tacitly agreed that none of them mentioned going back to the hotel first, and they never said anything about taking a break. They just sat side by side, as if they were sending out their negative emotions.

Xi Shan lit another cigarette, put it in his mouth and tilted the case towards Chi Nian: "Huh?"

"No." Chi Nian shook his head, he didn't want to smoke.

"Then this is for you." Xi Shan opened the plastic bag in front of him.

With great interest, Chi Nian took out a slender, unattractive firework stick from the inside, shook it in front of his eyes, but couldn't figure out what it was: "Did you buy it?"

"Well, just play casually." Xi Shan held a cigarette, "It's been a long time since I saw you."

It was only then that Chi Nian discovered that it was a firework stick, and called it another name: "Oh! Fairy stick... I played it when I was a child, but they stopped playing it for me later. My parents thought it was not good for boys to play with it, and they treated me There is a stereotype. I didn’t expect to see it here, let me relive my childhood.”

Hearing him crackle like pouring beans, Xi Shan just smiled and said nothing, Chi Nian poked the back of his hand with an unburned fairy stick: "Use the lighter."

With his hands in his pockets, the sound of running water continued in his ears, Xi Shan suddenly changed his mind.

He was in a sitting position, with his body bowed lower and the cigarette between his lips and teeth.Chi Nian didn't understand what he meant and didn't move. Xi Shan simply grabbed Chi Nian's left wrist holding the fairy stick and asked him to raise it up.

The sparks of Yuxi smoke brightened and dimmed, Xi Shan exhaled a puff of smoke, the smoke was sandwiched between two fingers near the top of the fairy wand.

When the smoke cleared, a cluster of golden fireworks quietly bloomed in the night wind.

"Crackling", the sound of burning.

The temperature of Xi Shan's fingertips still remained on his wrist, and Chi Nian stared at the fairy stick with his mouth curled up.His eyes were also reflected with light spots of the same color, which danced and were unbelievably beautiful.

Chi Nian's eyes were originally beautiful, round, innocent and coquettish when he looked at someone seriously, and he couldn't refuse no matter what he said.But Xi Shan always felt that something was missing, now he looked at Chi Nian, and Chi Nian looked at the fairy wand, these golden sparks just rightly filled the inexplicable gap.

Quiet, gentle, and a little bit very beautifully cute.

When the fairy stick burned to a third, Chi Nian suddenly said, "I found my parents' circle of friends today. They are in Chengde for summer vacation. There is also my cousin's family, and they are having a good time."

Xi Shan bit his cigarette and asked, "In a bad mood?"

"It's hard to say, it's quite complicated." Chi Nian waved the fairy wand, drawing a circle of golden smoke in the air like a scribble, "I thought I would be very, very upset, and you still have the mind to escape the summer heat after my son ran away? But in fact, after those few minutes, I felt a little overwhelmed... Isn't the most important thing in life is to be happy?"

"..."

"Anyway, I'm dead, and they don't care." These words were a bit angry, "They're so disappointed in me." It was rare for him to dig out a little hesitation, Xi Shan usually didn't bother to care about others, but now he seemed to be caught by Night Breeze and The weak fireworks were soaked in emotions, and asked along Chi Nian: "So, what happened at that time...can you tell me?"

"It's... nothing."

"It doesn't matter if you don't say it."

Chi Nian shook his head, the fairy wand was almost burnt to the end, so he took a new one to light, shook his hands together, and drew a sticky puppy in mid-air: "Because I broke up with the person I like."

Xi Shan was thoughtful, and said vaguely: "Break in love?"

"I've liked him for five years." Chi Nian didn't seem to hear his question, "I've liked him since I was 17. I listen to everything he says, and if he says something's wrong with me... I'll change it."

The possessiveness is too strong, Xi Shan vaguely feels that this is not something that ordinary girls can do.

Or, was she not a girl in the first place?

Chi Nian continued: "My friends are very disapproving, thinking that he is kidnapping me, restricting my social circle, and forcibly stipulating what kind of person I should be. But I didn't graduate from high school at the time, and I didn't meet anyone else. What he said was right, and he didn’t listen to what his friend said.”

"What happened later?" Xi Shan asked, but thought in his heart: Have you regretted it? Why can't you figure it out?

Chi Nian took the fairy wand and continued to scribble without thinking, with a soft and soft voice: "Then he did something that I couldn't bear, and left without saying hello.

"It wasn't until then that I realized, oh, I was abandoned by him. I don't want me anymore. It's like throwing away a kitten or puppy... I can't think about it, and I feel very uncomfortable. If I want to come here to relax, it's okay. I was preparing to go back, but now I came out, and found out that this relationship has never been equal before."

Xi Shan didn't speak, Chi Nian came to a conclusion for himself: "I'm so stupid."

"Should all relationships be equal?"

As Xi Shan finished speaking, a fairy wand happened to be extinguished in Chi Nian's hand, leaving traces of black carbon on the ground.

"When it's unequal...it's all because of liking." Chi Nian pursed his lips, his voice seemed to sink into the dust, and he relaxed quickly, "But it doesn't matter, I don't like him anymore."

Xi Shan didn't dare to think about the pain behind Kailiang.

He would like to hug Chi Nian and give him comfort, but now Chi Nian cuts open the most painful scars to show him as if nothing happened. After bleeding, he will heal soon, and probably doesn't need him to hug again—sympathy Sometimes it can be painful, reminiscing until you drown in negativity.

Like his mother, she always scolded people at home in those days.In the past few years, she has gotten better, she is calm, and even started to take the initiative to go out with friends, trying to get out of the failed marriage.

Reassurance often has the opposite effect.

So Xi Shan didn't show his sympathy, just put out the cigarette, and said to Chi Nian, "Congratulations."

"Congratulations?" Chi Nian smiled, stretched out a hand towards him, and clenched it into a fist, "Then start from today, I'm going to start a new life!"

A new life, these four words come out lightly, but what is the struggle behind it?But it's good to be able to say it, and it's good to be young, and have the opportunity to make mistakes and wake up.

Xi Shan propped his face, and bumped his fists with Chi Nian in an unclear manner.

In the night wind, the number of pedestrians walking on the embankment began to decrease.

Xi Shan's legs felt a little numb from sitting, but there were still three or four fairy wands left.There is a wall between him and Chi Nian, transparent but always there, avoiding some words that neither of them would like to mention.

Chi Nian revealed his scars, and wanted to heal well, as if opening a gap in communication.He told Xi Shan many things in a bitter manner, such as his parents were too strict with him, and he could enroll in eight interest classes in one go when he was a child—even including flying chess—for example, a neighbor had a 16-year-old student studying electronics at Peking University. A playmate in the department, this incident is still a lingering shadow of adolescence, because he could not be admitted to Qingbei anyway.

If Chi Nian doesn't mention relationship issues, Xi Shan doesn't have to ask.He didn't talk much, most of them followed Chi Nian, and when he talked about rising, he also exchanged some insignificant personal experiences.

The topic came to an abrupt end when Chi Nian was about to go to college, Xi Shan made up his mind, thinking that he might have recalled that not-so-happy relationship, and he didn't want to share too much.

Xi Shan took the initiative to remain silent, and when he took the cigarette to light again and was about to bring it to his lips, Chi Nian said stop smoking.

"The last one." Xi Shan shook the cigarette case to show him.

Chi Nian smiled for a while, then raised his head to look at the water of Bayin River: "To be honest, I used to hear about the place name Delingha, but I didn't have any impression of it. I just realized why it sounds familiar today."

"why?"

"I went to the memorial hall in the afternoon and saw that poem."

After finishing speaking, Chi Nian was a little embarrassed, grabbed the remaining fairy sticks and asked Xi Shan to hand over the lighter and light them all in one go.Surrounded by gorgeous golden flowers, he quietly added: "It turns out that I have always remembered this poem, read it and memorized it, but I don't know it was written by Haizi, and I haven't checked the origin."

Xi Shan said naturally: "I'm in Delingha tonight."

"That's right..." Chi Nian was fascinated, and held up the golden flower, "Sister, I'm in Delingha tonight, and the night is shrouded... This is the only, last, lyric."

"This is the only, last, grassland." Xi Shan smiled lightly, and continued.

"I return the stone to the stone, and let the victorious victorious... The barley tonight belongs to her alone, and everything is growing. Tonight, I only have the beautiful Gobi, empty."

Blooming to the last second, after a moment of flickering, the fireworks go off.

A faint sulfur smell lingers in the air.

When Xi Shan heard Chi Nian's voice, it seemed to come from far away when it matched the singing of the wind and the passing of the water, but it was clearly beside him, and he could hug him as soon as he stretched out his hand.

"...Sister, I don't care about human beings tonight." Chi Nian finally said softly.

Poetry Solitaire was interrupted at this point, Xi Shan was smoking, and the red light in his vision was about to disappear.Those four words seemed to block his throat, making his heart beat faster, his legs and feet numb, his tinnitus filled his mind, and then he became speechless—it was some kind of guilty conscience, and he seemed to be escaping from something.

So none of them said the four words at the end of the poem.

But the fireworks disappeared, the lights were dim, and under the starlight, Chi Nian's eyelashes revealed a small feather-like shadow on the eyelids, and the color leaking from his eyes was more moving than the sparkling water on the lake.

I don't care about humans tonight—

I miss you.

miss you……

His thoughts came to a knot, and Xi Shan stood up as if waking up from a dream: "Shall we go back?"

"Let's go." Chi Nian wiped off the dust from his pants, stepped over the steps of the embankment, and stood on a high place.

He threw the cigarette butt into the trash can and followed Chi Nian as if nothing had happened.

Life is very long, maybe he and Chi Nian only intersected under the sky in the northwest after all, but this summer night, Xishan, the fireworks by the Bayin River, will always be remembered.