Cannon fodder's self-cultivation

Light……

The light in front of his eyes swayed with the water waves, getting farther and farther away from him, the cold water wrapped his body, like a pair of invisible hands, dragging him towards the colder water bottom.

He stretched out his hand towards the dazzling light in front of him—help me...

In the pain of suffocation and cold, he slowly closed his eyes, his slender eyelashes fluttering with the water waves, gurgle—the last breath of air turned into bubbles from his mouth, and gradually rose from the bottom of the water to the shining light... I am longing What?no one will come to my rescue...

Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed his hand, he opened his eyes, and saw the child coming from the light, his eyes soaked in the water were bright and clear as water, and the light behind him was also disturbed by the churning waves Shattered, like... like he was born from that light.

The child pulled his sinking body, and gave him the air in his mouth under his astonished eyes. The moment his lips met, he didn't know what could be more beautiful than the child's lips in the world. soft.

At this point, he discovered that all his hatred these years turned out to be because of his desire to be loved.

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Have you ever seen a moth?

A sad creature born in darkness but yearning for light.

The green smoke curled up, Xiao Yi half-closed his eyes and shook the ash in his hand, his distant eyes seemed to be looking at something else through the smoke.

When Xiao Yi was seven years old, he was taken to Xiao's house from the orphanage. He was hit on the forehead by a toy car as soon as he entered the door, and then he heard the child laughing loudly. "You are Xiao Yi?" The child sized him up and announced in a domineering tone, "My name is Xiao Di, and you must obey me from today on!"

He thought he hated the kid.Very.

Xiao Yi didn't have a mother. It was said that his mother died of dystocia when giving birth to him, and they sent him to the orphanage.In fact, he was very happy when he knew that his father came to pick him up. He hoped that his father would like him as much as he imagined. He stood behind the dean and quietly looked at the person who came to pick him up, and carefully called him "Dad" .

But the man bowed to him and said, "Master, I was sent by the boss to pick you up."

oh.It turned out that his father didn't come.

The first time I saw the man called "Dad" was at the dinner table, the man looked him up and down, "I'm back." After sitting down, he called the child named Xiao Di to eat quickly, without giving him another look.Xiao Di was a picky eater, quietly put the green pepper into his bowl, and ordered him to finish eating in a low voice.Then he was picked up by the man twisting his ears and eating all the green peppers as punishment.

Xiao Yi would not admit that he was a little envious.This kind of relationship, this kind of lesson, he also thought when he was in the orphanage, if he had a father, then he must be very naughty, picky eaters, mischievous, and cause trouble everywhere, and then he would be taught a lesson by his father pause.

But although he didn't want to admit it, he was indeed an embarrassing existence in this family.He carefully caters to his father's preferences, carefully plays the image of a good boy in this family, carefully prevents himself from making any mistakes, and tries his best to do his best no matter what he does.He longed for the man called Dad to give him a look, hoping to use his excellence to win his love, and hoping that he could be as proud of his son's excellence as other people's fathers.

Useless.

No matter what he did it was useless.

He is a stain on his life, this is a fact that no matter how hard he tries, no matter how good he is, it cannot be changed.

Dad always only had eyes for the younger brother who could only cry and get into trouble.

Even if he holds a 100-point test paper, it is not as good as the child's occasional pass, even if he helps him complete the difficult business, it is not as good as the child's care on the phone.

He will never be able to live as unscrupulously as Xiao Di, and he will never be loved by his father. Although he has a "father" now, he still has no home.

He hates, he is angry, he is jealous, he wants to use the destruction of the Xiao family to fill the anger in his heart.

If...my excellence can't make you look favorably, then what if I destroy everything you cherish?

If I destroy the company, the Xiao family, Xiao Di, and finally you, will you notice my existence the moment before you die?Notice you have a son like me?

However, he never knew that all his anger and jealousy would be easily shattered by that child's small move.

Just one kiss, and it's over.

At that moment, he told himself, if no one loves me, then I will love others.

Xiao Di.Xiao Di.Xiao Yi said silently in his heart, after Xiao Di passed away for so long, he realized that he had never been able to see through this younger brother who seemed to be just an idiot.

At that time, every time Xiao Di used some clumsy methods to tease him, he was actually a little happy in his heart. He only needed to move his hands and feet a little, and he could reap the fruits of his own. Xiao Yi thought it was very funny, and called him "idiot" in his heart.

He still remembered that night, the moon was as cool as water, and the breeze brought the insects to be soft.He opened his eyes and saw the little boy clumsily bringing the glass of water in his hand to his mouth, but the most common water was sweet in the mouth, like jade dew nectar slowly flowing into his heart blackened by jealousy, Under the moonlight, the boy's black eyes were so black that there was no impurity, and his appearance was reflected in it, as if he was the only one in his world.

It's just that Xiao Di like this left him forever.

"boom--"

Following a sharp explosion sound in his memory, Xiao Yi, who was in a trance, shook his hand, and the long ash accumulated in front of the cigarette all fell to the ground.

He still remembered the moment before the car rushed down the cliff, Xiao Di's expression in the car when it passed him, with a mocking smile on his face——Do you like me?

"Do not--"

Looking at the explosion smoke rising from the cliff, he realized at that moment that Xiao Di was the way he wanted to live the most, the way he loves and hates unscrupulously.

He is so envious of him, jealous of him, yearning for him, loving him...

Like a dazzling and empty light in the darkness, he tried his best to fly and chase it desperately, but accidentally extinguished it at the last moment.

The cigarette flame flickered on and off, Xiao Yi was fascinated by the light, and suddenly seemed to return to the first time they met, the arrogant and domineering young man looked at him domineeringly, "My name is Xiao Di, from today onwards you must listen to me. of!"

Xiao Yi smiled.

good.I listen to you.

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Author: So what Bazahei and Xiao Di were analyzing in the system space was a mess!

Xiao Di: Is that so... so I messed up the show as soon as I went up?

Bazahei: Huh!idiot! ! !