The story of forest cultivation

This is the last holiday of our three years of high school, and we will no longer belong to this school in the next holiday.The third year of high school is tight, the holidays are late and the holidays are early, and there are still 20 days of vacation, which is the best of humanity.I planned it in advance so I didn't want to worry about the same thing at home every day.On the morning of the second day of the holiday, I left a note for my brother:

I don't want to leave my friends, this school, or the person I like. I hope my brother won't force me anymore. I just want to go out and be quiet now. My brother doesn't contact me, and don't worry about me.

At 10 am, I boarded a flight to the UK and landed at Heathrow Airport at [-] pm London time. It was very cold in the UK in February. I was lucky. There was still some winter sun here. I looked up at the sky, dazzling The light was blocked by thick clouds, the sun was bright and soft, and then I took a taxi to the hotel by myself.I want to experience my brother’s life alone outside. I began to try to eat alone, drink alone, go shopping alone, and walk in strange places alone. Now no matter what I do, there is really only one person. This is Isn't it the independence that my brother said?Independence means only one person?Why am I not proud of this so-called independence, but feel that this kind of independence will make people alone, desireless and ruthless.

In the early morning, I stood on the Tower Bridge in the cold wind and looked at the Thames River. The wind was still mixed with moisture, accompanied by the low-pitched whistle of the ship. No matter how you looked at it, it was an unfinished picture; In the coffee shop, listening to light music, staring at the mechanically rotating hour hand of Big Ben, and looking at the leisurely blond tall man on the side of the road; at dusk, I wandered the streets and alleys of London, feeling the "sunset in a foreign country is infinitely good" , It's just a different style of 'near dusk'; I also went to my brother's university and walked the way he walked.How scary it is to be out there alone, to empathize, to blur the vision.

A week without him was long enough for me.On the sixth night, I lay on the bed and looked at the ceiling quietly. The ceiling here is not as white and clean as the one in my room. Although it has been painted repeatedly, there are still traces of the years, and most importantly, there is no smell of him.I simply turned on the phone, and the notification sound kept ringing as soon as I turned it on. It turned out that my brother left a few messages:

Xiuyu, you are so headstrong, where have you been?

Xiuyu, at least give me a message back, don't worry me!

Xiu Yu, I know you are angry with your brother, if you want to be quiet, you can be quiet, my brother will wait for you to come back.

Xiuyu, are you okay?It's cold outside, have you brought enough clothes?Pay attention to your body, don't get sick, brother is waiting for you to come back.

Xiuyu, I told my father, if you don’t want to go, you can’t go, come back soon, I miss you very much, and I am very worried about you.

Xiuyu, it's been a few days, you still don't plan to go back to your brother?Stop making trouble, come back quickly, brother will make you the cake you like to eat, and you can also hug you to sleep, brother will also ask for leave to play with you, you can do whatever you want, come back quickly.

His smell, his arms, his chest and his soft lips, everything fascinates me so much, if there is teleportation at this moment, I will immediately go back to him and tell him, I miss him, I love him, I don't want to leave him, but I can't!It is now 23:07pm in London time, and it is about 30:[-]am in Beijing time. My brother has already woken up. I sent a message to him:

Brother, I will come back tomorrow and arrive at the airport at eight o'clock in the morning the day after tomorrow.

My brother replied to me after 2 minutes:

Okay, I'll pick you up the day after tomorrow. The temperature in city A has dropped in the past two days, so put on more clothes and wait for my brother to pick you up.

I closed my eyes all night, but I just couldn't fall asleep, and my mind was excitedly simulating the scene where I could meet my brother soon.I took a sleeping pill, and at three o'clock in the morning, my stomach was overwhelmed and I vomited everything I had eaten.I woke up in the morning with a headache, drank some hot water, and went to the airport without breakfast. After twelve hours of traveling, I finally returned to this city. It was not as cold as London, because he was here.When I got out of the waiting hall, I saw my brother's figure.

"Xiu Yu, you are finally back, where did you go this time?"

"London,"

"How did you remember going there?"

"Going to see what my brother's life is like there alone, I found it very tiring, I hate this feeling,"

"Xiu Yu, what's wrong with you?"

"Brother, let's go home!"

When I got in the car, I felt my eyelids stick together, and fell asleep on the road.My brother drove the car to the garage, and seeing that I wasn't awake, he just stared at me like this.10 minutes later I opened my eyes,

"Aren't you home yet?"

"It's already here, I didn't call you when you fell asleep,"

"Why are you staring at me, brother? Is there something wrong?"

"No, all right, let's go upstairs."

When I got home, I dragged my luggage into the bedroom and lay down. My whole body was sore and weak, and my eyes were burning.My brother helped me pack my luggage and walked to my bedside,

"Xiu Yu, what's wrong with you? Your head is so hot, you have a fever, let's go, go to the hospital,"

"It's okay, just take some medicine and get some sleep."

"Playing crazy, don't you even want your body?"

My brother brought me antipyretics, I took one and drank half a cup of hot water, shrank under the quilt and held his hand,

"Brother, stay with me,"

My brother leaned against the head of the bed, put his hand on my chest and patted it gently, coaxing me to sleep like a baby.

"Okay, brother, don't go, go to sleep, just sleep for a while."

I looked at my brother, and he showed a smile that can only be seen when he is drunk. Looking at it, everything around him was blurred, and I only had him in my eyes.I pulled my brother and kissed his lips. He didn't dodge or react violently. He just froze for a moment and looked down at me.

"Xiu Yu, what are you doing?"

That's right, what am I doing here? He's my brother. Whom did I take him for? Mu Xiuyu, you must have a fever and get dizzy!

"No, I'm sleepy, I'm asleep."

I quickly closed my eyes, afraid that my eyes would betray my inner self.

Ever since I kissed my brother last time, I never dared to look him in the eyes again. My brother didn't take it to heart, but I felt guilty first.My brother still cares about me as before. He always protects and loves me like a glass doll, for fear that it will be broken accidentally.If this is a dream, I would rather not be woken up and be a glass doll that never grows up, but ask myself now: I am 17, am I still a child?Am I really satisfied with just my brother's care and love?What more can I ask for?What am I chasing?

More than half of the holidays have passed, and I try my best to hide my cowardly feelings every day, but the more I hide, the more obvious I am. I am worried that one day I will make some stupid behaviors and make my brother hate me completely, so I made a decision to move out !That day I called Xiao Junhuai and asked him to accompany me to find a house.

"Are you really willing to move out?"

"Well, I've decided,"

"He will definitely ask you why you moved out. Now that you've reached this point, why don't you just tell him? You still have half the chance if you tell him. If you don't tell him, you really have no chance. "

"I can't let my brother find out, even if this secret is rotten in my heart, I don't want to let him hate me with the other half of the chance because I can be with him,"

"Isn't it uncomfortable to hold back like this?"

"It's uncomfortable, but if it will cause him trouble, I'd rather bear the pain myself,"

"Can you live outside alone? How about I live with you, we can share the rent together, and prepare for the college entrance examination together. You won't be too lonely. This semester is destined to be too difficult,"

"Will Du Yunfeng be angry? You two have such a good relationship now. I don't want to destroy your relationship."

"It's okay, I told him well that he would agree, he understands me very well now, and I can go to him often when I move out, don't worry."

Xiao Junhuai was able to accompany me when I was in the most difficult time. I am really grateful to meet such a caring friend. I can tell any secrets and confide all my anxieties with him, just like when I fell into the water and was caught by a cat. Clinging tightly, even if you can't go ashore, at least you won't be drowned.So this kind of gratitude is to thank him for saving his life, because my brother is my life to me.