Morbid Attachment.
Chapter 44
Even though he understands that Ren Ran's starting point is for his own good, but now Ji Wang can remember this failed relationship and his stupid past whenever he sees Ren Ran.
Just like self-protection after being injured, the subconscious wants to avoid all trigger points about those memories, whether it is objects or people.
Although this is unfair to Ren Ran, Ji Wang wants to be alone now. He knows that he is selfish, but he can't be completely objective.
After refusing Ren Ran to come to accompany him several times, Ren Ran seemed to understand what he meant, and never appeared again.
Compared with Ren Ran, Qi Boyan obviously does not have a higher awareness.He still comes here from time to time, talking to Ji Wang, sending flowers, fruits, and soup made by himself.
Without exception, Ji Wang threw them into the trash can, and Qi Boyan's face became uglier day by day.He didn't bother to deal with the injuries on his face, and Ji Wang, who had always loved him dearly, didn't even ask.
The wishful thinking to win sympathy didn't work out, Qi Boyan had no choice but to come over silently and guard in the ward, the two of them seemed to be playing a game where whoever speaks first loses.
It's a pity that Ji Wang didn't plan to play with Qi Boyan. When Qi Boyan comes next time, there is no one in the ward.
Ji Wang changed a hospital and a ward. In order to live a peaceful life, he asked Song Ge, who was studying far away in City B at that time, to ask someone to contact his relatives who were doctors at home, which was convenient.
He seldom asked others for such things, which scared Song Ge half to death.
The friend asked anxiously on the phone, thinking that he was seriously ill, and finally heaved a sigh of relief when he learned of Ji Wang's real illness. The next day, he helped Ji Wang deal with the transfer to the hospital, and left a message on WeChat: "You don't like to do things. Man, is someone bullying my brother?"
Ji Wang asked amusedly: "Why, you want to fly back to help me out?"
Song Ge: "I can help you hire [-] big men to deal with those who bully you. I can forget about it myself. I am a bata, and even your alpha can't beat me. Wouldn't it be courting death for me to go?"
With Song Ge's blessing, Ji Wang's mood improved a little bit, but this happiness was like mud, and was quickly covered up by negative emotions.
Song Ge said, Ji Wang, if you are really unhappy in City C, come to me, and we can live together for a while.
This proposal moved Ji Wang very much. Now that he is in his junior or senior year, he can go directly to practice, maybe he can leave here and continue to live in a new environment, where Song Ge is still there.
Once this idea fell into place, it grew like a root. Ji Wang even turned on his phone and began to look at the ticket.
A failure in love can't break him, but it can make him want to escape everything for a while.
Ji Wang stayed in the hospital for three days. On the fourth day, Qi Boyan found him, looking even more haggard than before. He rushed to the hospital bed. , he said hoarsely, "I thought something happened to you."
"Why didn't you tell me you were transferred, I've been looking for you for a long time." Qi Boyan pulled a chair and sat down, keeping his eyes on Ji Wang: "You still don't want to talk to me?"
Ji Wang turned his face away and looked out the window.He felt the warmth covering his hand, it was still a familiar touch, but it had a different feeling, Ji Wang waved Qi Boyan's hand away, and hid his hand under the quilt as if to avoid it.
As soon as this behavior happened, Ji Wang himself became annoyed, and finally opened his mouth to Qi Boyan: "Do you still not understand, I am now..."
Qi Boyan seemed to realize what Ji Wang would say next, he stood up suddenly: "I'm ugly now, go back and wash up, and come to see you later."
As if fleeing after speaking, Qi Boyan left the ward, just as abruptly as when he came, and could only swallow the words of breaking up that Ji Wang had in his mouth.
He believes that things like breaking up should be discussed face-to-face, confirming the wishes of both parties, and looking into each other's eyes, just like the solemnity when confessing, and a sense of responsibility when breaking up.
Therefore, even though he didn't want to see Qi Boyan, he didn't say goodbye in the text message.
Just because you didn't say it doesn't mean you don't want to do it, Ji Wang planned to wait for his body to recover before he had a good talk with Qi Bo.
Now it seems that Qi Boyan doesn't understand at all that under such circumstances, normal people should acquiesce in breaking up, instead of entangled and thinking about going back to the past.
Trust will be overdrawn, and Qi Boyan's trust with Ji Wang has gone bankrupt.
Whether it's the absurd reason to humiliate him in order to protect him, or the fact that he still loves him and cares about his words, Ji Wang doesn't believe it anymore.
When Qi Boyan came back in the evening, he had already taken care of himself, the wounds on his face had been treated, and the swelling had subsided.It's just that he still looks like he hasn't had a good rest and is mentally and mentally haggard.
Qi Boyan knew that Ji Wang didn't want to drink the soup he made, so he packed the hospital's food and came over.
The ward he arranged for Ji Wang earlier was a VIP room, and the meals were delivered by special nurses.Although Ji Wang now lives in a single room, his treatment is not as good as before.
Qi Boyan unfolded the small table and put the things on the table. He was unskilled and clumsy in taking care of people. When the soup lid was opened, he spilled the soup everywhere.
Ji Wang didn't say anything, picked up the chopsticks, he should eat and drink, and he was no longer full of repulsion as before. This change made Qi Boyan's eyes light up, and a smile appeared on his mouth.
Perhaps because of his softening, Qi Boyan saw some hope. Qi Boyan didn't pester him to talk like before, but waited for Ji Wang to finish eating before he gently packed his things. He built a small bed next to his bed to accompany him.
Only then did Qi Boyan learn how to take care of others.
No one could let him take care of him like this before, but now Ji Wang doesn't want to enjoy this care.
In the middle of the night, the pampered Qi Boyan of course didn't sleep well, woke up tossing and turning, and even sneezed in the middle of the night, when Ji Wang opened his eyes, Qi Boyan was curled up in front of him on a useless folding bed, the quilt was so thin.
He just closed his eyes again and said, "You're disturbing me, go out."
Qi Boyan didn't reply, but quickly got up from the bed and left the ward.
Ji Wang tossed and turned on the bed unable to fall asleep, got up and wanted to get some hot water for himself, but opened the door to find Qi Boyan sitting on a bench in the aisle, holding a phone in his hand, the hallway was very cold.
It's a May day, it's not completely hot, and it's cold in the middle of the night.
Qi Boyan saw Ji Wang standing up and saw the thermos in his hand, so he stood up, took the water glass in his hand, and said in a nasal voice, "Let me fetch water for you."
The fingertips touched the back of Ji Wang's hand, and it was very cold.
When Qi Boyan brought the water back, Ji Wang had already closed and locked the door of the ward.
Ji Wang was lying on the bed, when he heard the slight knock on the door, the movement was very quiet, as if he was afraid of waking up the people in the next room.After knocking a few times, it stopped.
He closed his eyes and fell asleep again.
On the second day, Ji Wang was woken up by the nurse's voice. The other party told him not to lock the door. In case something happened in the middle of the night, the nurse had to find the key first, which was very troublesome.
While apologizing, Ji Wang asked the nurse if there was anyone outside when she came here in the morning.
The nurse checked his IV: "People? Who?"
Ji Wang shook his head: "No, I'll just ask."
In the afternoon, Ji Wang went downstairs to the hospital to bask in the sun. He was still in a bad mood, but he began to persuade himself to look away and think about how to deal with Qi Boyan's matter.
He was sitting on the bench, and Qi Boyan came again, and found him with a guitar, and told Ji Wang that when he was thinking about him, he composed a song and wanted Ji Wang to listen to it.
Ji Wang didn't say he wanted to hear it, nor did he say he didn't want to hear it.
He just felt that Qi Boyan seemed to have changed, but in reality he remained the same.His attitude was to dismiss those things as if they hadn't happened.
No matter how ridiculous the reason is, it needs to be rationalized with some thought in order to deceive the person who wants to be deceived.
As Qi Boyan said, his family is very complicated, and there is one reason or another, so he kisses other alphas in that box and insults his boyfriend.
Even those scumbags who are caught in bed in film and television dramas will immediately choose to tell deceptive lies to their lovers.
If the lover is a little stupid, he will believe it.
Ji Wang wanted to believe it, but he wasn't stupid enough, and Qi Boyan didn't want to spend his time trying to deceive him.
Qi Boyan sat on the other side of the bench, plucking the strings lightly with his fingers. He might have caught a cold, but the young man's clear voice was a little hoarse, but it had a different taste.
Ji Wang finally took a look at Qi Boyan, seeing that handsome side face, soft long hair, moving melody and charming eyelashes.
He felt a hopeless heartbeat. The person he once loved so deeply made him feel so sad, but he couldn't choose not to love him immediately.
It would be great if there was a switch in love, as long as it is turned off, all feelings can be easily withdrawn.
If there is such a thing, Ji Wang is willing to trade everything.
After humming the melody, Qi Boyan said to Ji Wang, "Brother, what do you want to do in the future?"
Ji Wang ignored him, but Qi Boyan didn't care: "I want to be a singer, only sing the songs I want to sing, and then hide your name in every melody I have."
The words of love are very touching, but they have no warmth. No matter how sweet the fake thing is, it will be bitter in the mouth.
Qi Boyan felt that Ji Wang didn't want to talk, and he didn't care. He put down the guitar and took out a flower from his bosom. He didn't know where he picked it. He hid it in his clothes for a long time, but now he became wilted. of.
"It seems that we have been together for so long, and I have never sent you flowers. It looks beautiful when you pick it off, why is it like this now." Qi Boyan said to himself, and put the flowers in the middle of the bench. He and Ji Wang distance.
"I'm going to have my birthday soon, do you have anything that brother wants to give me?"
On May [-]th, Qi Boyan's birthday, Ji Wang started to prepare a gift one month in advance, a pair of rings carefully made by him, for which he fused the longevity lock left by his parents.
Now Ji Wang is sorry to his parents, because he used their relics, but he will not give the ring away.
Just like self-protection after being injured, the subconscious wants to avoid all trigger points about those memories, whether it is objects or people.
Although this is unfair to Ren Ran, Ji Wang wants to be alone now. He knows that he is selfish, but he can't be completely objective.
After refusing Ren Ran to come to accompany him several times, Ren Ran seemed to understand what he meant, and never appeared again.
Compared with Ren Ran, Qi Boyan obviously does not have a higher awareness.He still comes here from time to time, talking to Ji Wang, sending flowers, fruits, and soup made by himself.
Without exception, Ji Wang threw them into the trash can, and Qi Boyan's face became uglier day by day.He didn't bother to deal with the injuries on his face, and Ji Wang, who had always loved him dearly, didn't even ask.
The wishful thinking to win sympathy didn't work out, Qi Boyan had no choice but to come over silently and guard in the ward, the two of them seemed to be playing a game where whoever speaks first loses.
It's a pity that Ji Wang didn't plan to play with Qi Boyan. When Qi Boyan comes next time, there is no one in the ward.
Ji Wang changed a hospital and a ward. In order to live a peaceful life, he asked Song Ge, who was studying far away in City B at that time, to ask someone to contact his relatives who were doctors at home, which was convenient.
He seldom asked others for such things, which scared Song Ge half to death.
The friend asked anxiously on the phone, thinking that he was seriously ill, and finally heaved a sigh of relief when he learned of Ji Wang's real illness. The next day, he helped Ji Wang deal with the transfer to the hospital, and left a message on WeChat: "You don't like to do things. Man, is someone bullying my brother?"
Ji Wang asked amusedly: "Why, you want to fly back to help me out?"
Song Ge: "I can help you hire [-] big men to deal with those who bully you. I can forget about it myself. I am a bata, and even your alpha can't beat me. Wouldn't it be courting death for me to go?"
With Song Ge's blessing, Ji Wang's mood improved a little bit, but this happiness was like mud, and was quickly covered up by negative emotions.
Song Ge said, Ji Wang, if you are really unhappy in City C, come to me, and we can live together for a while.
This proposal moved Ji Wang very much. Now that he is in his junior or senior year, he can go directly to practice, maybe he can leave here and continue to live in a new environment, where Song Ge is still there.
Once this idea fell into place, it grew like a root. Ji Wang even turned on his phone and began to look at the ticket.
A failure in love can't break him, but it can make him want to escape everything for a while.
Ji Wang stayed in the hospital for three days. On the fourth day, Qi Boyan found him, looking even more haggard than before. He rushed to the hospital bed. , he said hoarsely, "I thought something happened to you."
"Why didn't you tell me you were transferred, I've been looking for you for a long time." Qi Boyan pulled a chair and sat down, keeping his eyes on Ji Wang: "You still don't want to talk to me?"
Ji Wang turned his face away and looked out the window.He felt the warmth covering his hand, it was still a familiar touch, but it had a different feeling, Ji Wang waved Qi Boyan's hand away, and hid his hand under the quilt as if to avoid it.
As soon as this behavior happened, Ji Wang himself became annoyed, and finally opened his mouth to Qi Boyan: "Do you still not understand, I am now..."
Qi Boyan seemed to realize what Ji Wang would say next, he stood up suddenly: "I'm ugly now, go back and wash up, and come to see you later."
As if fleeing after speaking, Qi Boyan left the ward, just as abruptly as when he came, and could only swallow the words of breaking up that Ji Wang had in his mouth.
He believes that things like breaking up should be discussed face-to-face, confirming the wishes of both parties, and looking into each other's eyes, just like the solemnity when confessing, and a sense of responsibility when breaking up.
Therefore, even though he didn't want to see Qi Boyan, he didn't say goodbye in the text message.
Just because you didn't say it doesn't mean you don't want to do it, Ji Wang planned to wait for his body to recover before he had a good talk with Qi Bo.
Now it seems that Qi Boyan doesn't understand at all that under such circumstances, normal people should acquiesce in breaking up, instead of entangled and thinking about going back to the past.
Trust will be overdrawn, and Qi Boyan's trust with Ji Wang has gone bankrupt.
Whether it's the absurd reason to humiliate him in order to protect him, or the fact that he still loves him and cares about his words, Ji Wang doesn't believe it anymore.
When Qi Boyan came back in the evening, he had already taken care of himself, the wounds on his face had been treated, and the swelling had subsided.It's just that he still looks like he hasn't had a good rest and is mentally and mentally haggard.
Qi Boyan knew that Ji Wang didn't want to drink the soup he made, so he packed the hospital's food and came over.
The ward he arranged for Ji Wang earlier was a VIP room, and the meals were delivered by special nurses.Although Ji Wang now lives in a single room, his treatment is not as good as before.
Qi Boyan unfolded the small table and put the things on the table. He was unskilled and clumsy in taking care of people. When the soup lid was opened, he spilled the soup everywhere.
Ji Wang didn't say anything, picked up the chopsticks, he should eat and drink, and he was no longer full of repulsion as before. This change made Qi Boyan's eyes light up, and a smile appeared on his mouth.
Perhaps because of his softening, Qi Boyan saw some hope. Qi Boyan didn't pester him to talk like before, but waited for Ji Wang to finish eating before he gently packed his things. He built a small bed next to his bed to accompany him.
Only then did Qi Boyan learn how to take care of others.
No one could let him take care of him like this before, but now Ji Wang doesn't want to enjoy this care.
In the middle of the night, the pampered Qi Boyan of course didn't sleep well, woke up tossing and turning, and even sneezed in the middle of the night, when Ji Wang opened his eyes, Qi Boyan was curled up in front of him on a useless folding bed, the quilt was so thin.
He just closed his eyes again and said, "You're disturbing me, go out."
Qi Boyan didn't reply, but quickly got up from the bed and left the ward.
Ji Wang tossed and turned on the bed unable to fall asleep, got up and wanted to get some hot water for himself, but opened the door to find Qi Boyan sitting on a bench in the aisle, holding a phone in his hand, the hallway was very cold.
It's a May day, it's not completely hot, and it's cold in the middle of the night.
Qi Boyan saw Ji Wang standing up and saw the thermos in his hand, so he stood up, took the water glass in his hand, and said in a nasal voice, "Let me fetch water for you."
The fingertips touched the back of Ji Wang's hand, and it was very cold.
When Qi Boyan brought the water back, Ji Wang had already closed and locked the door of the ward.
Ji Wang was lying on the bed, when he heard the slight knock on the door, the movement was very quiet, as if he was afraid of waking up the people in the next room.After knocking a few times, it stopped.
He closed his eyes and fell asleep again.
On the second day, Ji Wang was woken up by the nurse's voice. The other party told him not to lock the door. In case something happened in the middle of the night, the nurse had to find the key first, which was very troublesome.
While apologizing, Ji Wang asked the nurse if there was anyone outside when she came here in the morning.
The nurse checked his IV: "People? Who?"
Ji Wang shook his head: "No, I'll just ask."
In the afternoon, Ji Wang went downstairs to the hospital to bask in the sun. He was still in a bad mood, but he began to persuade himself to look away and think about how to deal with Qi Boyan's matter.
He was sitting on the bench, and Qi Boyan came again, and found him with a guitar, and told Ji Wang that when he was thinking about him, he composed a song and wanted Ji Wang to listen to it.
Ji Wang didn't say he wanted to hear it, nor did he say he didn't want to hear it.
He just felt that Qi Boyan seemed to have changed, but in reality he remained the same.His attitude was to dismiss those things as if they hadn't happened.
No matter how ridiculous the reason is, it needs to be rationalized with some thought in order to deceive the person who wants to be deceived.
As Qi Boyan said, his family is very complicated, and there is one reason or another, so he kisses other alphas in that box and insults his boyfriend.
Even those scumbags who are caught in bed in film and television dramas will immediately choose to tell deceptive lies to their lovers.
If the lover is a little stupid, he will believe it.
Ji Wang wanted to believe it, but he wasn't stupid enough, and Qi Boyan didn't want to spend his time trying to deceive him.
Qi Boyan sat on the other side of the bench, plucking the strings lightly with his fingers. He might have caught a cold, but the young man's clear voice was a little hoarse, but it had a different taste.
Ji Wang finally took a look at Qi Boyan, seeing that handsome side face, soft long hair, moving melody and charming eyelashes.
He felt a hopeless heartbeat. The person he once loved so deeply made him feel so sad, but he couldn't choose not to love him immediately.
It would be great if there was a switch in love, as long as it is turned off, all feelings can be easily withdrawn.
If there is such a thing, Ji Wang is willing to trade everything.
After humming the melody, Qi Boyan said to Ji Wang, "Brother, what do you want to do in the future?"
Ji Wang ignored him, but Qi Boyan didn't care: "I want to be a singer, only sing the songs I want to sing, and then hide your name in every melody I have."
The words of love are very touching, but they have no warmth. No matter how sweet the fake thing is, it will be bitter in the mouth.
Qi Boyan felt that Ji Wang didn't want to talk, and he didn't care. He put down the guitar and took out a flower from his bosom. He didn't know where he picked it. He hid it in his clothes for a long time, but now he became wilted. of.
"It seems that we have been together for so long, and I have never sent you flowers. It looks beautiful when you pick it off, why is it like this now." Qi Boyan said to himself, and put the flowers in the middle of the bench. He and Ji Wang distance.
"I'm going to have my birthday soon, do you have anything that brother wants to give me?"
On May [-]th, Qi Boyan's birthday, Ji Wang started to prepare a gift one month in advance, a pair of rings carefully made by him, for which he fused the longevity lock left by his parents.
Now Ji Wang is sorry to his parents, because he used their relics, but he will not give the ring away.
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