71 km

After dinner, the two found a movie to watch on the bed, "The Life of David Gore", a very old movie, Lu Kun said he hadn't seen it, and Jiang Ming clicked on it.

When the movie came to the line when David Gore was in class at the University of Austin, Lu Kun was deeply attracted. The reason why he said this was because Jiang Ming found that Lu Kun’s hand that had been touching his back suddenly didn’t move. up.

"The point of Lacan's philosophy is that fantasy must transcend reality, because at the moment you have it you can't and won't want it anymore, in order to continue to exist, the object of desire must never be attainable, what you want is not "it" itself, but fantasies about "it". Desire and wild fantasies complement each other"

"This is what Pascal called true happiness, which comes from daydreaming about future happiness, otherwise how would we say, 'It's more fun to hunt than to kill', or 'Be careful what you wish', not because you'll get it , but because once you get it, you never want it again"

"So the lesson Lacan taught us is: People who achieve what they want will never be happy. The most human truth is to try your best to live in your thoughts and ideals, and don't measure your life by how many desires you achieve. It's measured by how many moments of sincerity, compassion, reason, and even self-sacrifice, because in the end the only yardstick of our lives is how you look at the lives of others."

The bell rang for the end of get out of class, and David's class was over.

Lu Kun stretched lazily, turned over, put one hand under his head, and stared at the ceiling in a daze.

"What's wrong?" Jiang Ming asked him.

"The lectures taught by the professor are quite reasonable"

"Then why don't you watch it?" Jiang Ming moved the mouse and pressed the pause button, and the room was suddenly quiet.

The two of them didn't turn on the light, and the computer screen shook Lu Kun's face. Looking at it from Jiang Ming's perspective, his strong nose was exposed to the cold light source, which divided his handsome face into two parts, half blurred and half dark, like The images in the old projector exude a faint style.

In the quiet time, the man with nice lip lines whispered slowly: "There are many people who can reason, and everyone has their own philosophy of life, so they rarely listen to other people's advice. If you can live your life well, then I guarantee that no one will dislike school.”

"However, there is one thing the professor said that I quite agree with."

Jiang Ming: "Which sentence?"

"The only measure of our life is how you look at the lives of others"

Jiang Ming teased him: "You speak your lines so quickly, you have a good memory."

"I have an IQ of [-]"

"Cut!", Jiang Ming believed him and he was out of a ghost.

Lu Kun turned over, put his hand into Jiang Ming's clothes, touched his delicate and smooth back, and said, "I used to study very well when I was in high school, and I was basically one of the more than 1000 students in the whole year. First, there was a basketball game in the monthly exam, so I slipped to second place, but it wasn’t because I didn’t review well, it was because I was too tired from playing basketball, and I fell asleep before I finished answering the last subject of the exam.”

"At that time, the class teacher always praised me in front of the classmates. The most common sentence he said was: "Student Lu Kun, he must be a very promising person in the future. With his current grades, there is no problem in taking Tsinghua University." , if my current appearance is seen by the teacher back then, he will definitely not recognize me, even if he remembers, the Lu Kun in his memory should not be mixed up like this now."

A movie caused Lu Kun to talk about the past, which was all a surprise to Jiang Ming, but besides the surprise, he was also a little worried, not knowing where Lu Kun would freeze his past.

Jiang Ming closed the computer screen, lay down next to Lu Kun and asked him, "Then why didn't you get admitted to Tsinghua University? Didn't you perform well in the college entrance examination?"

Lu Kun turned his head, arched his body and lay down flat, and said, "Who said I didn't pass the exam? The admission score for Tsinghua University was 687, and I got 702."

"Fuck!"

Jiang Ming was surprised from the bottom of his heart. He recalled his scores when he took the police academy entrance examination, and was dropped by Lu Kun by several blocks.

Lu Kun touched Jiang Ming's chin, smiled, and said, "Do you think I'm bragging?"

"......No"

It's not that Jiang Ming doesn't believe it, it's just that the contrast between all this and Lu Kun's experience is too strong. The top student of Tsinghua University was imprisoned for intentionally hurting someone? !

"and after?"

Jiang Ming couldn't help but ask questions first out of curiosity.

"Later... Really want to listen? Brother Kun's past is not glorious"

Lu Kun smiled self-deprecatingly, he was also uncertain, he wasn't sure what Jiang Ming would think of him after the words were out, and maybe kicked him off.

"Tell me, I want to know"

With a pleading tone, Jiang Ming has never done this to anyone before.

"Then you have to pay some class fees."

Jiang Ming turned his head, and saw Lu Kun approaching slowly, and then his lips and teeth touched, with his unique smell, in this dusk, the clouds and rain were about to come, and all Jiang Ming's perceptions were suppressed, and he couldn't escape. .

When there was nothing left on Jiang Ming's body, he pushed Lu Kun away, gasped and said, "Wait a minute"

Lu Kun raised his head from his neck and asked, "What's wrong?"

Jiang Ming faltered, "There seems to be no... nothing at home"

"I think it's a big deal," Lu Kun said quietly, then lowered his head again, "If you don't have it, you won't wear it."

"..."

Every time Jiang Ming recalls this time afterwards, it coincides with their first meeting a few years ago like a time dislocation. They were strangers that night, and they surrendered each other's bodies without hesitation. Ming couldn't explain why he left with Lu Kun, the only thing he could say was that if he did it all over again, he would still be the same as before.

When Lu Kun stopped the movement of his lower body, he lay on Jiang Ming's back for a very long time, and refused to leave for a long time.

Jiang Ming, who was also exhausted, didn't bother to move, and just let him hold him down. The two of them didn't speak, savoring the process of lust fading at night, wanton, indulgent, scratching their hearts. . . . . .

They are always used to smoking a cigarette afterward, and it was the same tonight. Lu Kun let Jiang Ming lean on his shoulder, and each of them lit a cigarette. The smoke drifted away, like a mushroom cloud rising at the same time.

Then after the first puff of cigarette, Lu Kun talked about the past that he didn't mention to anyone.

"My dad found a stepmother for me and Lu Yuan in the third year after my mother passed away. That's what he said in name. Anyway, Lu Yuan and I didn't call her "mother" for a day, and she even brought a son. , you should be able to imagine what kind of chaos my family was at that time. She treated me and Lu Yuan very badly. She beat and scolded us behind my dad's back. Maybe it's because I'm older. She never beat me. I, at most, just scolded a few words, but Lu Yuan was not so lucky. I didn’t want to go home during the first summer vacation of the year I went to Tsinghua University, because our supervisor helped me find a good part-time job, but Just the day before I was going to work, I received a call from Lu Yuan, who was crying on the phone and asked me to go home and see him.”

"After I bought the ticket and went home, I heard the sound of beating and scolding in the room. Lu Yuan was lying on the floor of the living room, trembling and terrified, and his nose was bleeding. My stepmother and her The sons held a stick in each hand. When my stepmother saw me coming back, she yelled at me, saying that Lu Yuan stole the money from the family, and that the money was for her son’s piano lessons. I didn’t care about it at the time. Thinking about going straight up, she kicked her son on the ground, then grabbed the stick and sent them both to the hospital."

"She was concussed by me, and her son broke a leg and was disabled for life"

"When my dad found out, he was so angry that he was admitted to the hospital. My stepmother took me to court while my dad was in the hospital. I was convicted of intentional wounding for eight years... and then I became a Prisoner, I can't go to school, I was nineteen that year, and Lu Yuan was only seven years old."

Lu Kun spoke very calmly, as if he was telling someone else's story. Maybe it was a long time, the pain was compressed to a minimum, and he almost forgot that he was the person involved.

"You said I don't know what it's like inside? I may know better than you. Adult prisons are much darker than juvenile prisons. I suffered all kinds of hardships in the years I was there, and then I met a big brother, who is me now. The owner of this store is called Chen Juncheng. I don’t know why he went in. He didn’t tell me and never let others inquire. He went out before me, and he got me a hand by the way.”

"After I came out, I followed him. I have been here for the past few years. If there is any change, it is because I met you."

This should be the end of the matter. Lu Kun carefully watched the change of expression on Jiang Ming's face. He wanted to know what Jiang Ming thought of him, good or bad, even if it was disgusting, he would gladly accept it. .

These pasts will never be erased for no reason, so we still have to tell them sooner or later, and keeping them secret will only make Jiang Ming look down on them. . . . . . .

At this time, Jiang Ming had other worries in his heart, he raised his head and asked Lu Kun: "Why did that Chen Juncheng treat you so well for no reason, he didn't ask you to do anything for him, did he?"

Lu Kun smiled, stroked the top of Jiang Ming's head with his palm, patted it twice, and said, "I was beaten for him in prison, he was very loyal, and besides, I helped him run the store for a few years. I earned him a lot of money, just for mutual benefit, but he is also good to me, and the salary he pays me is several times that of you civil servants, and it is better than me looking for a job outside."

Jiang Ming still insisted on his point of view, and said: "No one will treat you well for no reason, you should be careful, and that guy named Mao Mao in your store, he has to be more guarded than Chen Juncheng."

"how to say?"

Jiang Ming said, "He smokes marijuana."

This is what Jiang Ming suddenly thought of just now, in the store, when he passed by Jiang Ming, what Jiang Ming smelled was marijuana.

Obviously Lu Kun didn't know about this matter, he frowned tightly and said, "How do you know?"

"I have sucked Wenwen before"

"..."