This situation

"The wind blows from the west, the linden tree sighs, and the moon peeks into my little chamber through its branches.

I wrote a long letter to my sweetheart - she has left me, and the moonlight illuminates my love letter.

The clear brilliance of the moon sprinkled between the lines, I cried bitterly, unintentionally

Think of moonlight, night prayers and sleep.

——Hesse "Letter"

Opening Hesse's anthology of poems "The Wanderer's Shelter" casually, this "Letter" came into view, "I wrote a long letter to my sweetheart—she has left me...".

What to write?Write a long attachment, reluctance?Sigh when writing to the moon?Write about her thoughts about her body temperature?

Or write that she has learned about her past with her mother?

Picking up the pen and putting it back, Guan Ning clicked on Fang Congwen's WeChat account - no matter what, she would not drag her into the blacklist.

Guan Ning: Some things that you know my mother knows but think I don't know, do I have the right to know?If you have time, see you at the old place at three o'clock in the afternoon.If you have something to do, it's okay to choose another time.

Fang Congwen would often take her to a quiet shop with wine and coffee.The two sat in the corner, ordered a drink each, and talked softly.At times like this, Guan Ning likes to listen to Congwen talk about the places she has been to, the books and music she likes, the cultural relics she has seen, and her collection.It is most convenient to speak here.

There was some sarcasm between the lines of the message, Guan Ning didn't want to do this, so he changed the words a few times, deleting and changing them, but this is the most appropriate expression.She did have grievances, and she concealed them for the sake of self-righteousness "for her own good".If you really want someone, you should let her know the truth.Since she was a child, she has been tired of all kinds of things her parents and relatives do in the name of "for her good".She wasn't so vulnerable that she couldn't face the truth, even if the truth was her worst guess.

Fang Congwen's reply will arrive soon.

"Ahhh, how can there be someone I like so much in this world?": See you at three o'clock in the afternoon.

Guan Ning could not help but speculate maliciously, whether Fang Congwen would mention this meeting with his mother, and whether his mother would appear at the meeting place.

At five minutes to three, Guan Ning showed up at the appointed shop. Fang Congwen had already arrived, sitting where they usually sat, with a glass of latte in front of him.She was wearing a white shirt, a light green cashmere sweater, and her coat was placed on a chair beside her, with a calm face.When going out, Guan Ning greeted her parents, she always took the initiative to explain where she was going, this time she did not say, Yun Jin and Guan Yan did not ask.But Guan Ning felt that his mother should know her whereabouts, and looked at her with a hint of sadness.

Guan Ning sat in front of her, and ordered a cup of latte made with skim milk and a piece of cheesecake as usual as Fang Congwen.

Fang Congwen looked at her and said nothing, and neither did she.

The clerk brought coffee and cake, and Guan Ning brought the first bite to Fang Congwen's mouth. Fang Congwen stuttered. The movements of both of them were very natural. When they realized it, they were startled.The time we spend together is not long, but we have developed a lot of habits.Guan Ning's eyes were a little wet, she turned her eyes, and pretended to look at the chandelier on the ceiling, and only looked at Fang Congwen after the wetness faded away.

How could this little action escape Fang Congwen's eyes, she sighed from the bottom of her heart, which was also sad.

"Will I be good then?"

"It's very good. Others vomit and vomit all kinds of nausea. I don't, and my diet is normal. I only vomit when I have milk and soy milk. I think you don't like it. I'm older. You like listening to pipa and classical music. When you hear the saliva song, you protest..."

"Hehe, it's actually the same as now."

"When I was pregnant with you, my mother passed away, and I was a little depressed—she was the only relative in the world, so the premature birth caused you to be congenitally deficient. I promised your parents to give birth to you and make you healthy. I'm really sorry After knowing Guan Ning's identity, the red thread on her hand was a thorn in Fang Congwen's heart, and she blamed herself.

"What does the problem of the soul have to do with the body? It's none of your business. Without you, I wouldn't have been born at all. Maybe it's better if I wasn't born, so you don't have to worry about it."

"Guan Ning, I didn't think so, nor would I think so."

"So..." Guan Ning took a deep breath and asked, "So, just because of this?"

only?This fact had worn her down. "What else do you think?"

"Do I look like my mother?" Guan Ning carefully looked at Fang Congwen, not wanting to miss any expression on her face.

This time Fang Congwen didn't understand Guan Ning's meaning, thought for a while and said: "You are the daughter of your parents, completely inherited from them. I just gave birth to you as a container and an intermediary, and didn't..."

"Ah... so you know it too. So, do I look like my mother?"

Sensing the hostility in Guan Ning's words, Fang Congwen frowned, "Yes, but not to the extent that I think of your mother when I see you."

"Then, do you think that you see me associating with my mother?"

"No." Fang Congwen took a sip of his coffee, and found that the latte was a bit bitter for the first time, "Guan Ning, what do you want to say."

"I thought you regarded me as my mother, and I thought you liked my mother—your neighbor's sister."

"……you……"

"You guys are acting sneaky, I can't help but I don't think so, and at the beginning, you and my mother had a good relationship, and my father also had such thoughts." Without hesitation, Guan Ning sold her own father.

"Heh...you are...absurd."

"I also think, but who told you to break up with me, you went on a date with my mother, and she comforted you. Oh, we met today, and you must have reported it to my mother. Look, I can't help but wonder what our affairs have to do with her."

"Guan Ning..." Once reminded, Fang Congwen almost understood the whole picture of the matter, including Guan Ning's phone call that day.Fang Congwen found that the angry girl in front of her was much smarter than she imagined, and she could bear it.She didn't feel that when she was 20 years old, she could watch her mother comfort her lover without changing his face.

After saying this, Guan Ning didn't feel satisfied, but instead leaned on the sofa in depression, as if he had exhausted all his strength. "I don't know what to do. Congwen, I love you, I miss you, but this is not enough reason for you not to leave me." She cannot control Fang Congwen's decision, just like she cannot control Fang Congwen's decision. The decision was made to protest the same.After protesting, she still needs to obey her parents' decision, because they always have a reason - "for her own good", and she can't deny this, they have indeed done a lot for her.Compared with their companions, Yun Jin and Guan Yan are impeccably open-minded and caring.

When Guan Ning realized that he was powerless, he was a little dazed.She understands many truths better than her peers, and she can't ask Fang Congwen to love her with her own love.She was even afraid that she would bring more pressure to Fang Congwen who was already tired.The more she understands, the more helpless she becomes, like falling into the void, with nothing to rely on, nothing to cling to, she doesn't know where she is going to fall, she only knows that she is falling, falling, as if there is no end .

"Oh, it turns out that I really can't do anything." Guan Ning smiled with a corner of his mouth and tears in his eyes. "Obviously you all know that I have no kinship or legal relationship with you. You and I are two independent individuals."

Fang Congwen didn't make a sound, her pain was no less than that of Guan Ning.It's one thing to know, another to mind.Guan Ning did not have her experience, facing the person in front of her, she couldn't help but remember how she conceived and gave birth to her.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can continue the conversation. I can't control my emotions. Next time...if there is a next time." Guan Ning stood up and called the waiter.

Fang Congwen said: "Just let me pay. Be careful on the road. We will talk about it in a few days. Please understand that I have no other thoughts about your mother, except that I love her daughter. I feel a little sorry for her."

"Congwen..."

"Well, let's talk about it another day."

Before Guan Ning got home, Yun Jin had already heard the news about Guan Ning's knowledge from Fang Congwen's office.Guan Yan did not ignore his wife's dignified expression after answering the phone, her whole body seemed to be shrouded in dark clouds.What can make a wife so gloomy?Daughter or Fang Congwen?

"Is there something I should know that you didn't let me know?"

Yun Jin sighed and nodded, "You really should know. Ningning knows that she belongs to Fang Congwensheng."

"What's her reaction?" Guan Yan didn't think her daughter would not understand. The biological parents are always the biological parents. At most, the other party would be kinder and more grateful to Congwen. That's not a big deal.

"There was no reaction. She didn't feel that she and Congwen were related by blood or family."

Guan Yan's face relaxed, "I knew she understood the truth."

"Oh, why do you think she is so sensible?"

"It's not because we teach well." Guan Yan joked.

Yun Jin gave him a hard look, and sat down on the sofa angrily.Guan Ning will go home soon, what she wants to say to her, and what she will say to her.She was in a state of disarray, always feeling that nothing was good, nothing was right.

"My wife?" Guan Yan sat next to her and squeezed her shoulders to flatter her.

"Do you still remember that I asked you what to do if Ningning and the little girl are together?"

"Remember, we all agreed to let her go. It's not a big deal. It mainly depends on how the other person is."

"What do you think of Congwen?"

"It's good, she was a bit hostile before, but you didn't mean that she became a mature woman, and I haven't seen her now." Guan Yan's hand rested on Yunjin's shoulder, "Wait, you mean Ning Ning and Cong Wen Together? You mother and daughter have quite a taste..."

"Guan Yan, do you want to quarrel?" Yun Jin really doesn't understand, every time when it comes to Congwen, Guan Yan's understanding can be skewed to outer space.

"How dare you." Guan Yan pondered for a while, "Damn it, if we can get married in China like abroad, wouldn't Congwen want to call my father your mother?"

"Guan Yan!" Yun Jin slapped her husband's thigh, "Do you mean it?"

"Oh, my wife, I'm not seeing you helpless, so I'm telling you a joke. Don't be angry, don't be angry."

"Ningning is indeed your own, and you two are mad at you."

"It's none of my business. Blame her, blame her. There are so many people on earth, it's not good for her to just pick someone else. It's her fault. We'll educate her when she comes back."

"Guan Yan, you can be more serious! Ningning can't let go of Congwen, even though Congwen broke up with her, he didn't let her go."

Only then did Guan Yan restrain his smile, and sighed, "I've thought about it, but there's nothing I can do. Let them solve it by themselves, we can't control this matter. There is one more thing..."

"What?" Yun Jin was nervous.

"Ahem, I heard from Guan Shuo that he has some interest in Congwen, and asked me to ask you to lead a bridge before."

"...Isn't this just adding to the chaos? If he doesn't pull or pull, he has to be determined to make an appointment on his own. Congwen has always had his own opinions. If he likes it, he likes it. It's useless if we don't like it. Besides, he is so much younger than Congwen. It’s not deterministic, if you like it now, you won’t like it later.”

"Hehe, you said that Guan Shuo is a set of things, and Ning Ning is younger than him. So, let them deal with their affairs. Who knows what will happen in the future." The daughter is obedient, but her personality is as stubborn as Yunjin , They will say what should be said, but they can't force her to listen or not.Besides, the child is still young, just like what Yun Jin said, there is no determinism, love life today, what about tomorrow?He couldn't make things worse for such an unpredictable situation.

The author has something to say: When I wrote this chapter, I asked my mother, if your daughter was with a 19-year-old good-looking woman when she was 38 years old, this woman was her surrogate mother (the fertilized egg came from her own parents, no kinship), what about you.

My mother didn't even think about it: suicide. (She has an expression on her face that you are going to die

Me: Oh, I can only wish you a happy death.

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