Religious Faith

It seems that I haven't slept so peacefully for a long time. When the alarm clock rings, I still miss the temperature on the bed. This feeling of staying in bed is so warm.When I turned off the alarm clock, I saw a note saying: See you at the office of the manager of the real estate company at nine o'clock in the morning.

After washing up in a good mood in the morning, I got dressed and went out. Before I left the room, I saw a note on the table, saying that I was asked to buy a necklace for Manager Dong... um, It seems that there is such a person, such a thing.

The first thing is to go to the jewelry store to buy a necklace. The shopping guide lady asked with a professional smile, "Sir, who do you want to give it to?"

I smiled at her, didn't speak, just picked slowly by myself.To whom?Of course it's a girlfriend... I have to treat her as my girlfriend, a girlfriend in her 50s, but now I don't even know whether I like men or women.Walking to the fifth store, the shopping guide lady had the same question. She looked carefully at the accessories in the window, then pointed to a diamond-encrusted platinum necklace and said, "Wrap it up."

"Okay, please go this way and pay."

After paying, I went out with a gift and went around to the parking lot to find my car, and then asked the driver to take me to a place across the street from the real estate company and stopped.

I walked into the company building and told the front desk lady that I had an appointment with Manager Dong. She checked it and said, "Are you Manager Dong's nephew?"

"Yes."

"This way please, take the elevator to the fifteenth floor and you will find the manager's office."

"Okay, sorry for the trouble." I nodded to her and walked inside.There is only one manager's office on the fifteenth floor, and then there are conference rooms and rest rooms.

The door of her office was closed, and there were still voices talking inside.

I stood outside the door and waited, and the person came out after a while, and she was the only one left in the office.I sorted out the details of the clothes a little, then knocked on the door and went in.

She was leaning against the cabinet and smoking a cigarette. She had her hair in a bun today, wearing a black suit and a pair of dark brown high-heeled pointed shoes.I walked over and hugged her from behind, gently rubbed the tip of my nose behind her ears, and gently slid my fingers on her slightly bulging belly, making her gasp.

"I'm...your nephew...?" I asked in a low voice, my voice was slightly hoarse, and the tip of my tongue teased|tickled behind her ear.

She trembled intermittently, the cigarette between her fingers fell to the ground, her whole body was about to limp in my arms, and her voice was still filled with joy.She said: "Baby, good baby, mother is wrong..."

"Nonsense." I moved my hand to her chest, then twisted it hard, and said coldly, "Tell me again, who am I?"

"Ah..." She panted, "Baby...my baby...!"

Satisfied, I let her go, and said softly, "You are my baby too, a unique baby." Then I took out the necklace, put it around her neck for her, and asked her, "Do you like it?"

"like."

I smiled, and then put a hand under her, the middle finger and the ring finger began to tease, she asked hurriedly: "Are...here?"

"It's right here." After I finished speaking, I took her to the sofa and started to make | love frantically.

Perhaps it is more exciting to do this kind of place in the office, her voice is excited and joyful, a kind of stolen pleasure.

Accompany her until noon, until someone knocks on the door of her office, we quickly change our clothes, this set of movements is like flowing water.In less than a minute, she sat upright on the chair in front of the desk and read the materials, while I randomly pulled out a book from her bookshelf.The book is very new, as if it has never been turned over, but the top of the book is covered with a thin layer of dust.

"Come in," she said.

The one who came in was a young man with a very upright appearance.He respectfully put the document on the table, she took the document and grabbed his hand by the way.He panicked for a moment, and the first thing he did was to look up at me.It seems that they are related, but he still has scruples about me as an outsider, which means he still can't let go.

I smiled at him, a shallow smile, and continued to look down at the book in my hand.

Later she said she had something to do, I understood, and I must understand.

"No need to see me off," she said.

"Okay." I wrapped my arms around her waist, lightly licked the back of her ear, and said, "Honey, I will miss you."

She left the office, and I went out after a while, and there was an extra deposit in my card that night.

And the other side...

Heizi really left. He threw away a lot of luggage, old clothes, unused perfume, unfinished cigarettes, and the original self...

His long hair has been cut into short hair, and it was the first time I saw his clean and tidy courtyard, plus this period of time to recuperate and spend a lot of money on skin care, I feel that he is different from the sunspot I was familiar with before. same.And I was still as dirty as ever, not to mention indulgence, just drugs ruined me.

He hugged me and said, "From now on, you should touch those things less. If you can, go as soon as possible. I think the weather is going to change." The last sentence was his whisper.

"Understood." I suddenly felt my eyes a little sour. In fact, I really didn't want him to go. Nothing else, just a child with a temper and didn't want him to go.Jinze has become so thick that I was forced to grow up and be forced to accept some things that I shouldn't accept. The only person I can rely on in my heart is him, but he is leaving, he is saying goodbye to the past, and so am I. his past.How much I want to say that I don't want you to go...even if it's just a willful sentence, but.

I said, "Let's go."

He stroked my hair with a smile and said, "Don't cry."

I held the corner of my mouth, looked at him and said, "I didn't cry."

"Don't look at me like that, I'm shivering with that look in your eyes." He thought for a while and said, "This is what happens when a perverted killer decides on a target. Be gentle."

I kicked him: "Fuck off, I'm going crazy, I'm going to chew you up bit by bit."

He smiled helplessly and said, "We can still contact you."

I turned my back to him and said, "Okay."

"Um...you have nothing to say to me?"

"Let's go, I'll see you off." I went to the sofa to get my clothes.

When we were in the car, we always made jokes that didn't make sense, it was very boring, and no one mentioned the past.But even so, we still like to talk, because it is always good to listen to one more sentence...

At the airport, he hugged me again before he left.I said, "Heizi, I want to fuck you."

He didn't speak.

He boarded the plane, and I suddenly cried, crying very hard.I don't know why I'm crying, I just know he's gone, and I'll never be able to call him, so now I'm the only one left.It seems to be accompanied by our own breathing all the time. We rarely realize its importance, but if you can't breathe for a moment, the feeling of suffocation will make your life worse than death.

The driver dragged me to the car and asked me where I was going?I ignored him and slumped on the seat, and he sent me home without saying anything else.

I have been smoking in the living room.I have many kinds of cigarettes, but there is one kind of cigarette that I don't give to others easily, because there are some things that shouldn't be caught in this kind of cigarette.I nestled on the sofa, smoking one after another.Poison is such a good thing...it always allows me to forget a lot of pain...but there is a kind of humiliation behind this happiness.I killed Brother Xian and ruined Ah Song, but I didn't have that much influence with those clients that day. To put it bluntly, I still need a backer who is stronger than them, but to be hypocritical, it's because of Jinze. Or it is my last bottom line for my dignity.So they can force me to do drugs, or they can come to play with me again.They hung me from the ceiling and humiliated me to their heart's content. They made me pee in turns. I had to open my mouth to eat, and if I couldn't eat, I would be punished.Of course, I will never be able to eat it, because the distance between us is too far.

Drugs made me forget about depression, but after waking up, I always regretted it, and then became extremely negative.

This is not good, I know.

But I'm already very bad, and I know better.

So there is no mismatch between bad and worse.

By the way, I always imagine that there is someone who shares the same body with me, maybe my memory is really bad, and I always forget how some time is gone...

So who am I? ?

This question is so profound that I think I'm going to go crazy if I think about it any more.

It's just that sometimes I look in the mirror and ask myself, "Will you protect me?"

Maybe it's because I need protection and breathing space too much?That's why the idea of ​​someone sharing a body with me was born.

……

If winter comes, can spring be far behind?

Well, now not only is spring here, but summer is almost here.

The top spot in Hongdu has always been mine. One day when I saw the newcomers, I said to Dianli: "Looking at them is like looking at myself back then."

Dian Li smiled lightly and said, "It's not like you."

"Huh?" I raised my eyebrows.

"They are not as pretty as you."

I couldn't help but laugh.

I have been living a luxurious life, and on the other hand, I am constantly wooing powerful people.I also know that the sky is really going to change, and Hongdu will suffer sooner or later, but Hongdu and I are really involved too deeply, and I can't escape.As I said before, I have offended too many people, and Hongdu can be regarded as my wife, and we can be regarded as mutually beneficial symbiosis, otherwise, if I break away from it, I might run away, even if I go to the ends of the world, I will be killed , died so silently.So I kept wooing them, as if I had come to a point where I worshiped gods and Buddhas when I met them.They all accepted my benefits unceremoniously, but I knew in my heart that it was one thing for them to accept it, and it was another thing for them to help me, so I was still betting.Because even if one of them helps me, I will suffer a lot less.

The fact is that, in the face of death and living, I choose to live.Because of being alive, there is hope, because only if I live, my Jin Ze will live.I owe him a life, even if I fall into hell, I will send him to heaven, because it is his right to live, he deserves to live, and he should live well.I wait for him to wake up and choose his own path.

Mr. Zeng hasn't been here for a long time, and I don't know if he is busy with something or if he has forgotten me.

It's so strange to say that I can only be serious when he's around, otherwise I'm a libertine.It's a pity that he hasn't been here for a long time.

Mr. Zeng seems to be a very powerful person. Sometimes I feel that asking him for help is the most reliable, but on the other hand, I worry that he will not care about me. After all, our status is very different.

I really don't know what he does, but I just know that he is very good.But I used to praise him for being great, but he said flatly, "What is so great."

I said, "That's great."

"Fucking shit," he said.

I:"……"

Hongdu is bustling day after day, but there is always a vague uneasiness behind this bustle.For example, I panicked when some clients didn’t come, or Dianli disappeared.

I guess he may have known something so he left early.But two days later we heard the news of his death, saying that he died in a car accident.

The wine glass in my hand dropped with a clang, and all the wine was sucked into the carpet.

"The body...was found?" I forced myself to ask calmly.

"found it."

"Is it really him?"

"Yes."

I went to the supervisor's office, and he was sitting on the sofa alone, tears streaming down his face. He was holding a hair tie in his hand, which I knew was from Dianli.I originally thought that Dianli had created a fake car accident to make himself disappear, but seeing the supervisor like this, it doesn't seem like a fake.

"Brother Li." I knocked on the door.

He didn't speak, just looked up at me and nodded.

I went into his office, sat next to him, and said, "I heard..."

He gave a wry smile.

"You... take care of yourself."

He kept crying and didn't speak, so I had to stay with him.

His shoulders trembled more and more, and finally collapsed suddenly, hugging me and crying loudly.He cried and asked, "Why!!!"

I stroked his back lightly, without saying a word.

"Why did you leave just like that!" He stared at me with red eyes, tears covering his face.I've never seen him sad and mad.

"Don't go... I can't bear it... Li..." He cried and kissed me.

I sighed and didn't push him away.A colleague, as long as he feels better.He said that I was very similar to Dianli, and now he must be sad and confused, and regarded me as Dianli.

When he wet my shoulders from crying, he was also tired from crying and passed out in my arms.I laid him flat on the sofa, then pinched him hard, and he woke up after a few pinches.I don't know if this method is really useful or painful to wake up.

He looked at me for a while before saying, "It's you..."

"It's me." I picked up the headband he dropped on the floor and put it in his palm, and said, "My condolences will change."

A few days later, Dianli held the funeral.

I went there that day, and it was indeed him lying in the coffin. Although his face was blurred, it was still his outline.

The director's condition is not very good. After all, his lover died. How can he be comfortable?

……

I knew the weather was going to change, but I didn't expect the day when it really came, which made me very overwhelmed.

In June [-], Hongdu was seized.

We squatted in the corner in a panic to be checked and questioned, but at that time there were still people who had taken drugs and were still awake.I also smoked, but I actually woke up.

As I left, I took one last look at Hongdu.

Like when I first came, I finally took a look at the giant relief in Hongdu.

I suddenly thought, did one of the 81 koi die?

Outside the door, the dragon plate is the pillar, and the prosperity is blooming.

Hongdu lives in heaven, Leshi Xinfu.

Hongdu Tianju,

Leshi Xinfu...

The author has something to say: finally back, this chapter is 4400 words, there should be another chapter tonight.

Hongdu seized it, and Hongdu Juan wrote another chapter and it would be over.

Now Jiang Cheng's personality is a bit chaotic, but the main personality has not disappeared, but it will disappear soon, and the next volume will make it very clear.