Jinnian

After the end of SARS, Bowen Hospital spent half a year dealing with the follow-up of the epidemic. For ordinary people, this was just a small medical emergency. But in the medical field, the emergence of SARS will obviously bring Numerous medical professionals have introduced a whole new research direction.Various discussions and researches have been carried out both internationally and domestically. Therefore, after the hospital work came to an end, at the end of 03, Qiuluo went abroad to participate in a six-month seminar on new international topics.

During the six months abroad, Liang Fengning appeared almost every week, which seemed to be his regular frequency.They didn't talk much when they met, as if they had returned to the relationship of friends at the beginning. The only thing that changed was that Liang Fengning was very familiar with him. He would come to his apartment to cook and cook delicious Chinese food. Grandma sent him some video materials, and talked with him about some things in his family like an intimate chat, and he would even knock on his door in the middle of the night when he was drunk.

Qiu Luo's reaction was as flat as ever, he is not a boy who has not yet left school, he is an adult man who has established himself in society, such flirting is too childish.So, he said directly to Liang Fengning: "Don't waste time, if you knock on the door in the middle of the night, I will move to the shared apartment immediately." This is what he came up with after serious thinking after SARS It is true that he was moved, but it is also true that he did not like it. It is not that Qiu Luo has never been in love, but he hates stories without endings.

Regardless of the gender factor with Liang Fengning, even if he can fall in love with him, the reality gap is in front of him. He thinks he has neither the courage nor the energy to fight, so no matter how he goes, it will definitely be a dead end in the end. Why bother?

Liang Fengning's hand holding the chopsticks paused in the air. He looked at Qiu Luo's flat eyes, and suddenly smiled and said, "Then tell me, why should I..." He felt stuck in his throat and couldn't speak. After a long while, he suddenly stood up and threw the red wine glass on the table against the wall, shouting loudly: "Tell me the fuck, how can I get close to your heart? Tell me?"

Liang Fengning always thought that what Qiuluo lacked was the smell of fireworks, and that such a cold person seemed not a product of the mortal world at all, so after the end of SARS, he spent time going to the place where he grew up, and he wanted to start from the root. I know this person from the Internet, and I squeeze time out of my busy schedule every week to be a grandson for others, hehe, now it seems that what he lacks is not fireworks but a fucking lack of heart at all!

He pushed Qiuluo against the wall, pressed against his body and asked viciously: "Do you have a heart? How can you say such a thing? I..." Suddenly his nose was sore, he wanted to say He has never cared so much about anyone since he was a child. He has done and said everything he can, but he just can't see it and thinks you are in the way!Liang Fengning felt that he was very stupid, just as stupid as that stunned young man!

Qiu Luo quietly watched him go crazy without saying a word, Liang Fengning suddenly understood at that moment, if you don't love, you don't love, no matter how much you do, he won't feel it!There was a fire burning in his chest, he was like a defeated beast, his whole body was full of unwilling hostility, he looked at Qiu Luo, rushed up uncontrollably, held her down and kissed her fiercely, Qiu Luo Obviously startled, they started to resist after being stunned, and then both of them started to exert their strength and fight each other, and Liang Fengning couldn't stop the car at the end, he didn't want to fight, desire was stronger than anger at that moment He was so strong that he couldn't even tell what he wanted to do.

When he was awake, it was the moment when Qiu Luo suddenly fainted. Liang Fengning was terrified, and hurriedly dressed him and took him back to his residence. He didn't return to his original state until the doctor repeatedly told him that there was no serious problem. land.He looked at Qiu Luo's peaceful sleeping face, and thought with a wry smile: "In the first half of his life, he was definitely condemned by God for doing a lot of things, so he found such a guy to attack him, beat him, can't beat him, say, can't say, just It's a fucking waste of time to do this!" Just waste it, anyway, he has plenty of time!

Unexpectedly, such a waste will take another two years. When Qiu Luo returned to China in July 04, Liang Fengning directly tied him up from the airport and brought him back to his home. Now the game was so hot that it burned to the tail of a tiger. Qiu Luo was very angry, and the two inevitably fought again. There was a fight, but this time it wasn't him who fainted but Liang Fengning, to be precise, it wasn't fainting but...a broken bone.

The news of Liang Fengning's broken arm was quickly spread back to his own family. Wrestling can cause some people to speculate without reason, which is ironic, but this is the charm of power!At this point, Qiu Luo also saw that this was a game, and he asked him: "Are you threatening me with this?"

Liang Fengning leaned leisurely on the head of the bed, looked at the white gauze on his wrist and said indifferently: "Aren't you threatening me with your own life?"

Looking at each other for a long time, Qiu Luo suddenly smiled: "What if I don't care?"

"Then you can go out immediately, as long as you get out of this room, you should know what the consequences will be for me and you." Liang Fengning stared at him, he was betting, fighting for his last hope.Once Qiu Luo walks out, it is just a punishment for him, but for Qiu Luo, this life is over, he knows very well how easy it is for a family like them to abolish a person, especially when others In his eyes, Qiu Luo is just his lover.

Qiu Luo looked at him, and finally there was a hint of imperceptible anger in her plain eyes. After a long while, he said: "Since I have already taken on a false name, then why should I care about it!"

In the end, Liang Fengning found other excuses to cover up the matter. Of course, he also achieved his goal, and Qiu Luo finally became his man.

It took less than two years from when they confirmed their relationship to breaking up. During these two years, Liang Fengning thought that he could win Qiu Luo's heart, that he could change this person, but in fact he overestimated himself Yes, he also underestimated Qiu Luo's endurance.

Qiu Luo could live with him every day, sleep in the same bed with him, and even have sex with him under his coaxing, but Liang Fengning never felt that this person cared about him in his heart. Feeling distressed and annoyed by the overtime operation last time, he can be overwhelmed because Qiu Luo doesn't care about his body, but Qiu Luo doesn't, he doesn't even care about his nights away.Liang Fengning had to admit that in this relationship, he gave far more than he got, but he didn't want to let go, as long as he saw this person by his side, he didn't want to let go, even though the relationship had come to an end.

Gu Chen looked into Qiu Luo's drunken eyes, and he asked, "Have you ever liked him?" After five years of entanglement, both of them were exhausted in this tug-of-war, and it was he who was the one who formally brought him to Qiu Luo. When he returned to China, Gu Chen couldn't imagine how much unknown sadness and helplessness was hidden behind the meticulous person who was able to impart knowledge to them every day and stood silently on the operating table.

Qiu Luo's eyes wandered, have you ever loved?He lowered his head and smiled slightly, thinking of Liang Fengning's sleeping face in his mind. When he woke up several times, he saw him sleeping behind him, with straight eyebrows, gentle breathing, and a kind and harmless appearance.However, he can't ignore some things. He can't watch a woman who is six months pregnant being pulled to induce labor and pretend he doesn't know anything. He can't bear to sleep with a man and tell himself that nothing happened, he can't watch Liang Fengning marry a wife and have children in the future while he can sleep beside him with peace of mind, he can't watch himself change Cheng Sang Qiuluo, whom he didn't even know.

So, he said to Gu Chen, "Probably."

Compared to liking, he cared too much, otherwise he wouldn't think of letting himself bleed in the end.He has been anxious for a long time. In the bathroom, he was accidentally cut by a broken tooth cup. He felt refreshed when he saw the bright red blood flowing through the white tiles. When he was young, he had to take various medicines. To prevent disasters that may occur at any time, his grandparents regard his body as a piece of fragile glass and dare not damage it easily, so he has no friends since he was a child, because others dare not play with him easily. The brothers have been in the army all year round and have almost no way to contact them. Today, before meeting Liang Fengning, Qiu Luo never realized that he would live so lonely.

So lonely that he was delighted to see his own blood.

Liang Fengning finally found out about this matter. From the first anger to the later silence, they no longer had much energy to quarrel.Qiu Luo didn't explain, nor did he get angry, he said calmly that he wanted to play outside.He changed his vacation and took a self-driving trip to Xinjiang. This was Qiuluo's only way of pastime. He had no one to talk to, so he could only go out. It can be said that he traveled farther than he did since he was a child. I have more friends.Liang Fengning didn't say anything. He knew his character well after knowing him for so long.

He went there for a month, and the day he came back was midnight. He went back to his home, but the moment he turned on the light, he saw Liang Fengning sitting on the sofa, but he told him that the plane would arrive tomorrow night. The two had nothing to say. After watching for a long time, Liang Fengning said, "How long do you want to hide from me?" His voice was rough like sand.

Qiu Luo put down her things, poured a glass of water, turned her back to him, and said slowly after being silent for a while, "Liang Fengning, I think this is the best I can do, but sorry, we are not suitable."

"Auntie will cook some southern dishes tomorrow night, pack up your things, and I'll wait for you downstairs." Liang Fengning left after speaking.

On the second night, Qiu Luo sat alone with a table of food until one o'clock in the morning, and he returned to the room without moving his chopsticks.

Liang Fengning came back drunk. He sat on the sofa and asked Qiu Luo: "What else should I do? As long as you say it, why the hell don't you like me? I can do it if you like me." Can't you?"

Qiu Luo took a sip of the wine and didn't speak. He leaned on the sofa and sat opposite him, looking elegant like a nobleman.

Liang Fengning rushed up like a wolf angrily. He tore his clothes and gnawed at his collarbone. He pressed his hands desperately to kiss his mouth. Let's fight!"

Then they got entangled like two wild beasts, Liang Fengning didn't dare to hit hard, he wasn't really drunk, but Qiuluo really attacked him every time, the things in the room were scattered all over the floor, like his own The heart is the same, broken in pieces.

That night he hardly closed his eyes, watching Qiu Luo fall into a deep sleep, just looking at him, for a long time, he lowered his head to kiss those beautiful eyes, licked and rubbed his lips, this body was his future Si Ye thought about it, but he couldn't deceive himself anymore, Qiu Luo didn't like men, he didn't like having sex with him at all.

Same as the first dream, hot and dizzy, Qiu Luo felt as if she was in the hell of ice and fire. Opening her eyes, Liang Fengning's face was infinitely enlarged, and his body was squeezed so uncomfortable, he pushed He, however, was accidentally kissed on the lips, and Qiu Luo was dying in that sex scene, and every time he felt that it was impossible, he could always experience the trial in the world of ice and fire again.He didn't know how long it lasted, but when he woke up, he felt as if he had died once, and the room had been tidied up as before, as clean as if everything that happened last night was a dream.

After that, he never saw Liang Fengning come back, and later, he returned to his home alone.

Eye-catching closed, the story ended, Gu Chen looked at Qiu Luoxiang's peaceful sleeping face, and sang a song softly, it was a song his mother often sang when he was a child.

What is forgotten does not understand sadness, it is the fireworks of fear

sad don't cry those are happy tears

my lost dream darling it hid in your dream

He remembers your smile, he listens to your singing

He said darling I've been waiting for you to come back

·······

When he returned to the hospital early in the morning, Gu Chen simply washed his face. He didn't feel tired after not sleeping all night. When he was hanging up his coat, he suddenly saw lilies of the valley in front of the window.

Qiu Luo only puts it in the office as a medicine and a decorative plant, but he doesn't know that the flower language of lily of the valley is: the return of happiness.

Haruki Murakami said: Everyone has a forest. Those who are lost are lost, and those who meet will meet again.

Gu Chen didn't know who Qiu Luo's fate would make him meet again, but he sincerely hoped that this lonely and kind man would eventually return home.