Jinnian

"Do you know what love is?"

Hehe, he doesn't understand, he never understands what love is.

He couldn't figure it out even more, how should two men love each other?

From childhood to adulthood, there was no complete love around him to teach him, how to love?

Therefore, he doesn't know how to love, let alone how to love a boy.

He pushed away the boy's hugging arm, shouted with red eyes: "Lu Chuxiu, I will never love you! Don't do these things again!"

With such cruel words in his mouth, he used a tone of grievance and crying!

Lu Chuxiu put down the medicine bottle in his hand, and sighed, "Okay, if you don't love it, then don't love it." I still have four years to chase you.

The helplessness and fear of more than ten years burst through tears, his uneasiness, pride, and weakness were exposed at this moment in an absolutely safe but self-deceiving way!Can't you let me live an ordinary life like a normal person?Why do you force me like this?

From childhood to adulthood, he has been called an illegitimate child countless times. In his memory, although Uncle Min protects him like a father, the polite and distant relationship between him and his mother has long buried his identity.That is a matter of blood and certainty.The Chinese people place the most importance on righteousness and righteousness. After 16 years of not being recognized by Gu Chen, no one has systematically taught him by example what is the correct way to love someone.

Is it a love that is given silently but never reciprocated like Uncle Min?

Or is it the love that is guarded hard like a mother but does not need a name?

Or is it a love that has to be let go, built with power and loneliness like that man?

Which one is correct?He had no way of knowing, the only thing he knew was that it was very tiring, really really tiring.Therefore, how much he wished that his love would be like that with Lin Zijin, a clean and pure mutual understanding without impurities.

And when this little desire for beauty was also destroyed, Gu Chen really didn't know what else he could believe in?

Lu Chuxiu's strange, strong love terrified Gu Chen and made him even more at a loss.He has not yet learned how to love a woman, but is forced to accept a man's love, even sex.Moreover, this person taught him the same-sex intimacy in such a humiliating and indisputable way. This kind of shock was too severe both psychologically and physically!

Lu Chuxiu looked at the trembling boy, and his heart suddenly softened. He was only 16 years old, how could he know so much?Gently wiped away the tears for him, the big fluttering eyes showed confusion and helplessness with tears in them.Lu Chuxiu gradually understood that the uneasiness behind the pretense of being strong and the weakness that has nowhere to rest are the true face of this person.

Sighing, no matter how much love is, after all, it's not enough to feel distressed.

Gu Chen had cried enough, picked up his sleeve and wiped his face, Lu Chuxiu brought water for him with a funny face, and asked cautiously, "Do you want to take the medicine first?"

When Gu Chen regained his senses, he realized that the place he was staying in was not a school, but a very clean living room and a very tidy house.

"Where is this?" he asked.

"The house I bought outside the school." Lu Chuxiu said while squatting down to apply medicine for him.

Gu Chen was startled, dodged, and said in a loud voice: "I'll do it myself." Unknowingly, he left the school, and the journey was as unreal as if he was in a dream.

After applying the medicine, the room was too silent.

"Didn't you go abroad?" He finally asked.

Lu Chuxiu thought about it, and he really wanted to go abroad. Even his despair when he said "staying in the same room with you, I feel disgusting", or his obvious refusal and timidity when he approached, made him want to leave , but, after all, stayed.There is no reason, except that I can't bear it, I can't bear to give up this rare fate, and I can't bear to miss this person.

So, he opened his eyes and said calmly: "Gu Chen, I have four years to wait for you, can you fall in love with me?"

He didn't want to force him anymore, but he still hoped for a result.

Gu Chen didn't speak. It would be a lie to say he wasn't moved, and it would be a lie to say he wasn't moved.He never thought that this person could do this for him.I never thought that I would be moved.

But but, who can tell him how the two boys should be together?

Before waiting for the answer, Lu Chuxiu laughed at himself. He stood up and said calmly, "Eat something." When he walked past the boy, he was suddenly grabbed by the arm, and his fingertips were slightly cold.

Lu Chuxiu remembered the last time he caught him, the boy had a cruel look in his eyes, so his heart suddenly trembled, and he didn't dare to listen to the decisive harm he said.

But looking down was Gu Chen's timid and confused gaze, he looked at him so quietly without saying a word, Lu Chuxiu caught a faint hope in that clear pupil, even though it was elusive, even though he knew more about him maybe It was exhaustion, but at that moment, my heart was still as warm as the sun in late spring, extremely warm and bright.So, he turned around and hugged him, hugged him tightly, smiled softly, and whispered softly in the boy's ear: "Gu Chen, stay with me!"

With a bit of temptation, hiding a bit of trembling, hiding eight points of wholehearted waiting.

Gu Chen leaned his head against his shoulder, and could even feel the beating of this person's heart through the warm body temperature, as warm and stable as that injured night.

Grabbing him may be a subconscious and unprepared action, but he can't deny his heartbeat and instinct for love, or he can't bear to see the loneliness and pain in this person's eyes again.

If all this is preordained, then so be it!

He chose to compromise with the impermanence of fate!

Leaning against him undefended like this, maybe it's not as hard to accept as you think, is it?

When the trembling body he was holding was completely relaxed, Lu Chuxiu showed a bright smile.

Rarely did his eyebrows show such a happy and humble expression, he said silently in his heart: "Gu Chen, in this life, I have finally got you!"

But no one told them how long this life should be?

Zhang Ailing said that life and death are in harmony with each other, being happy with the child, holding the hand of the child, and growing old together with the child.How small, how small we are compared to the powers outside!But we just want to say: 'I will always be with you, we will never leave for the rest of our lives'. — as if we were in charge of ourselves.

Isn't that what people are like?Even though I know that the future is bleak, even if I know that one day all the sadness and happiness will leave me, I still want to seize this second of happiness.

Although the relationship of love has been established, as far as the matter of falling in love is concerned, it is the first time that both of them are older girls on the sedan chair.You need experience but no experience, you need ideas but no ideas.Don't look at Lu Chuxiu's kung fu in bed, but at such an age, our Mr. Lu has never chased people seriously, but he is good at seducing people, but the two of them are not doing shameful piay every day when they are together!Besides, even though Gu Chen accepted him now, he was still a straight guy who liked girls before, and now that he is going to be suppressed by a boy like him, it's probably not enough in the short term!

The dim yellow lamp by the bedside was on quietly and serenely, shining on Gu Chen's sleeping face through the gap of shadows. Lu Chuxiu lay beside him and watched obsessively. On his chest, the long eyelashes touched slightly, looking defenseless.

He lowered his head and kissed the eyelashes carefully, Gu Chen trembled subconsciously, and moved closer to the warm embrace beside him, Lu Chuxiu smiled at his natural blank reaction, and took his own Full of affection that was about to overflow, he hugged him and fell asleep.

If one-third of the gifts of the years are such still waters and deep currents, then how can life be afraid of the two-thirds of thorns and scallions that are too late to predict?

Because I know that even if the world is dark and has no end in sight, even if the pain is turbulent and cannot be relieved, there is always a person behind me who will silently guard you, with the strongest posture and the warmest chest, With the most enthusiastic heart, I tell you silently: "Don't be afraid, I am here."