Mr. Chen walking the dog

He was sitting overturned on the parapet, with one leg hanging outside.

In the eyes of others, this is a very dangerous posture - as long as there is a slight shake, or a slightly stronger wind blows, the person will fall and be smashed to pieces.

But Fu Junzhuo didn't have the slightest fear in his heart, he seemed to be sitting on the sofa as usual, just staring blankly at the busy traffic in city A below his feet.

Cars are not as big as matchboxes, one after another strung together on the road, moving, moving; pedestrians are so small that there is only a small black spot left, and they can't see clearly even if they squint their eyes.

It's easy to get dizzy if you stare down from a very high place for a long time.

Fu Junzhuo didn't eat breakfast or lunch, and was in a state of not having a drop of water.So for a moment, Fu Junzhuo's eyes turned black, his chest was tight, he almost fell over, and then fell straight from the 34th floor, ending this young but messy life.

However, it does not.

Poor breathing.

He took a deep breath on the parapet for a minute, his hands trembling uncontrollably and nervously, however, he didn't fall off until the end, and he still sat peacefully.

What kind of mood is this?

Just sitting here, whether you are full of joy and laughing facing the sky, or you are dying of grief and jumping from the top floor, the result is the same, and there will be no waves.

The former is happy with himself.What about the latter?They fell into a ball, only the melon-eaters and the police were summoned, and then the family members, and then shoveled and shoveled, dealt with, and then set on fire.

In this life, no matter whether it is mediocrity or mediocrity, there is nothing left.

The people who eat melons are all watching the fun, and those who really want him to see and really want him to regret it will not be there.

Trying to imprint a lifetime on someone's mind by committing suicide—don't even think about it, that's impossible.

People are creatures that seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. They will subconsciously want to forget those pictures or memories that cause harm to their psychology.

You died for him, just hoping that he will be engraved forever, but you know?There is a debt of life and love on him, as long as it is a debt, he will run away.The final result is often that when he dreams back in the middle of the night, he thinks of you who are bloody and bloody, and breaks out in a cold sweat. He looks around again, and all that is left is terror, and the disgust of fear that he will never be able to shake off in this life.

In the end, the probability of you ending up with a sentence of "lingering ghosts" is probably far greater than a sentence of "sorry".

This was the only conclusion Fu Junzhuo had come to after being rescued these days.

Although in fact, he still felt that living was meaningless.

Whether it's life or death, it's just a matter of these few days.

He took back the hanging leg, panted for a while on the top floor, and finally breathed normally again. Looking at the south of City A from a distance, he seemed to be able to see his university and hear the sound of the university. The ringing of the bell, and a group of students leaving get out of class with books.

Fu Junzhuo suddenly cried like a fool.

After the accident, he was like a walking dead. He didn't shed a single tear, but his heart was depressed and numb.But at this moment, something seemed to roar into the memory, it seemed that the past passed by clearly, holding a banner of "you can never go back" in his hand, and smiled at him unscrupulously .

If anyone watched, no matter how hard-hearted he was, he would probably have a sore nose when he heard the cry of the man on the parapet and looked at his profile again.

I don't know why this person is crying so heartbreakingly.

In fact, with Fu Junzhuo's physical and mental state, he couldn't cry.

Very weak, no physical strength.

Then crying and gasping for breath, he rolled off the parapet.Fortunately, he didn't fall to the tall building outside, he fell to the top of the building, and fell to the place where he was standing just now - just now it was completely physical and psychological collapse, the string was finally broken, Fu Junzhuo cried so much Not very sober, so the direction of rolling down was not decided by himself.

If it rolled in the wrong direction, there would probably already be people watching under the building.

Get a life back.

Lying on the cold concrete floor, my whole body hurts, facing the sky, and the sun is very dazzling.

Fu Junzhuo wanted to go back to school.

Walking on the campus, the students passing by are either in groups, or holding a book alone, or young lovers holding hands, each with their own demeanor, what is thinking in their hearts, but no one else can see clear.

Fu Junzhuo bought a portion of milk at the school snack station, and then walked slowly to the library.

In the library of University A, you need to swipe your student card inside, but not in the public areas outside.

Fu Junzhuo found a seat by the window, hugged his milk, sat quietly on the stool, and looked at the youthful college students outside the window.

When he was in college, a person like him who didn't like to study never entered the library, but when he returned to his alma mater after graduation, he stepped into the library for the first time.

It's quiet here, he wants to rest.

After not eating for a long time, his stomach hurt. After drinking a sip of warm milk, his first reaction was not to warm his stomach, but a tingling pain.

But Fu Junzhuo didn't seem to feel it, he took a second sip and a third sip, and then he tasted the consequences, the severe pain grabbed his full attention, he fell on the table, unable to lift it for a long time beginning.

After the pain passed, the hunger slowly climbed up, Fu Junzhuo slowly drank the milk, there seemed to be some blood in his mouth, and he seemed to have recovered some strength.

The screen of the phone was always black, Fu Junzhuo stared at the phone, and nothing happened that he expected or didn't expect.

He lived alone. For several weeks, he had not made a call from his mobile phone, nor had he received a call.The last call was from my uncle a few weeks ago. At that time, he was lying on the hospital bed, listening to his uncle say, "Jun Zhuo, happy birthday."

It was clearly a birthday, Fu Junzhuo himself had forgotten it at that time, and Fu Shenyan seemed to have forgotten it too.

At that time, Fu Junzhuo remembered all the things they had been together before, and for the first time wanted to bow his head to Fu Shenyan and apologize to him, but when he struggled to sit up, he stretched out his arms to hug the edge of the bed and guarded him. When he saw someone, Fu Shenyan turned his head away and gently pushed him away.

I couldn't say my apology, so I couldn't say those soft and loving words in the follow-up.

That's it.

Fu Junzhuo threw the milk paper cup into the trash can and walked out of the library.

There was a gust of cold wind, and it was clear that the sun was still good at noon, but now it was cloudy. When Fu Junzhuo raised his head, as if echoing his mood, it began to rain.

Drop by drop icy into the hair.

If it was still in that ostentatious college era, Fu Junzhuo would have already stepped out without hesitation, but now - he stood back under the eaves and trembled.

Winter rain is very cold.

The rain became heavier and heavier, and Fu Junzhuo hid from the rain and stood like a statue.

The layer of publicity faded away, and now he lowered his head, his brows and eyes were lowered, not very energetic, and his thin figure looked a little bleak.

Fu Junzhuo returned to the library. Although the temperature outside the library was not high, it was much better than outside.

He decided to wait here, raised his eyes, the seat he was sitting on had already been taken by someone else, Fu Junzhuo found a random place, sat down, and concentrated on resisting the cold.

Later, when the sky darkened and the library got colder and colder, the rain still didn't stop. Fu Junzhuo ran out in the rain, and after returning home, he lay there like a dead person for two days.

Time flies, spring goes and autumn comes.

Two years have passed, and Fu Junzhuo has achieved this. He didn't look back to find Fu Shenyan. Fu Shenyan was frightened by the three knives on his wrist, so he avoided him from then on, and of course he didn't look back.

Fu Junzhuo got rid of Feiyang who had been with him for many years, found a job, and commuted to and from get off work step by step. He raised many kinds of succulents on the balcony, which almost filled half of the balcony.

In daily life, apart from work and overtime, there are only these succulents left.

In fact, time cannot heal the wounds in a person's heart, not for a long time, even if the so-called cure is only on the surface, with a light pressure, the inside of the epidermis is intact, and I don't know what the festering looks like.

On the surface, Fu Junzhuo looked fine.

He is quiet.

I am not arrogant anymore.

He is already well.

But sometimes when I open my eyes in the morning, what happened two years ago still appears, happy things, painful things, times I want to go back to and past times I don’t want to recall, mixed with Fu Shenyan’s smiling face and indifference.

He woke up with tears on his face from the very beginning, biting the quilt and crying into convulsions, asking himself why he didn't die, and then woke up numb, unable to breathe or even move.

Fu Junzhuo didn't even know whether he was obsessed with Fu Shenyan, or was he brooding over what happened two years ago?

In the reincarnation of heaven, everything is his own fault, he is very clear.

People have obsessions, and once they have obsessions, it is easy to draw them into prison.

Unable to get out, I trapped myself, fell asleep on sleeping pills every night, and was awakened by the inner torment every morning.

Fu Junzhuo was going crazy.

No matter what kind of mistakes I made, this kind of punishment, two years, more than 700 days and nights of suffering, is enough!

Why can't I get better?I have been taking medicine, why can't I control it?Why does this kind of pain have to wrap itself tightly?

why? !

Let me go!

Let me go please……

There are so many people living in a brightly lit city.Which corner, which house, what kind of things are happening inside, what kind of mood are the people inside, whether they are happy or sad, whether they are embracing and sleeping with the one they love, or crying bitterly at night in helplessness and despair, only they know.

Only oneself knows, only oneself faces, only oneself solves.

In this world, some things may be helped by others; but some things, no one can intervene except yourself.

No one will save you except yourself.

If you succeed, you will stand up, if you fail, there will be no more.

In the dark night, happy people are happy, and painful people are suffering.

Fu Junzhuo wanted to break free, but he couldn't, as if he didn't have the ability yet, so that's all.

Anyway, not dead yet.

At six o'clock in the morning, the man with bloodshot eyes woke up, went to the balcony, sat on a small bench, looked at the succulents all over the balcony, Fu Junzhuo suddenly realized that he seemed to have lost his memory of Fu Shenyan.

He had a headache, so he found a photo of Fu Shenyan on his phone to look at.

Recently, the photos on his cell phone were full of meat, and after searching for a long time, he found Fu Shenyan's photo.

When he saw the photo, Fu Junzhuo was in a daze for a moment - it was clearly the face and smile in his memory, and it was clearly the person in his memory, but looking at the photo, Fu Junzhuo found that this person had already So far away and strange.

He locked the phone screen and closed his eyes, unable to think.

So I watched it again, turned it off again, and thought about it again, but I still couldn’t remember what that person looked like.

No matter how many times he looks at it, as long as he turns off the phone screen, as long as he is not looking at the photo, he will not remember it.

Already... I can't remember.

Fu Junzhuo thought about it for a week, and finally made a decision to delete all the photos of Fu Shenyan in the phone.

Maybe he still loves this person, maybe he doesn't love him anymore, he doesn't know, but the only thing he knows is that he will never see him again in this life.

There is nothing left but photos.

Do you want to delete it? If you delete it, you will probably never remember this person again for the rest of your life.A delete button is sometimes equivalent to a knife, to dig out a certain memory bloody from the brain.

Think about it, I can't bear it.

But don't delete it?It's been two years, everything needs to be changed, and the photos don't represent anything.

Before Fu Junzhuo made up his mind, he pressed the delete button with his finger.

In an instant, all the selected photos were deleted, and Fu Junzhuo felt empty, as if he wanted to have a sore nose, but in the end, he just quietly looked at the album that didn't have a single photo of Fu Shenyan left. Flip through the pages to see his succulent.

One by one, green and small, plump and transparent, one by one, plump and thick, it looks very comfortable to hold.

Why, there is no sadness as imagined, and even at this moment... there is still a feeling of relaxation in my heart?

This relaxation gradually became real in the following days - after deleting the photos, Fu Junzhuo's heart gradually improved.

When I went to see a psychiatrist, the doctor also said that the condition was very good.

Human emotions are a strange thing.

Just deleted the photo.

Spring goes and autumn comes, another year.

This year, Fu Junzhuo's succulents have almost occupied the entire balcony. He also raised a tortoise, and he stared at the tortoise every day when he was free.

At 06:30 in the morning, Fu Junzhuo got up, brushed his teeth and had breakfast, ran to the balcony to look at his succulents routinely, the more he looked at them, the more he felt, ah, succulents are so cute.

He stretched out his hand to touch one of them, feeling the little plant life in his fingertips, and his mood could become very good for a day!

Facing the rising sun, the man addicted to succulents curled the corners of his mouth and showed a big smile.

It turns out that time can't heal you, but it can make you slowly forget everything you should have forgotten.

Is forgetting another kind of cure?

Human beings are very fragile, especially those with mental illnesses. A little carelessness may become a tragedy.

But even so, people can be strong, and people can fight against all kinds of things.

Looking back on the two years when I could die at any time, there were so many pains and collapses, didn't I still come here?

Believe in yourself, life is long, nothing is impossible.

Look, the sky is so blue, isn't it beautiful?

Even if there are sometimes dark clouds, do you know that above the dark clouds and beyond the clouds, the sky is actually an endless, clean and dazzling blue?

The future is still far away, and tomorrow is waving to myself.

Therefore, no matter where you are, no matter what you experience, you must be strong, please, and be full of hope for yourself.

The author has something to say:

When writing Fu Junzhuo's episode, my nose got sore many times, and I don't know why (please ignore my snake spirit disease 23333).

Everyone makes mistakes. From the very beginning, I didn't write about Fu Junzhuo as a villain, but just as a lunatic who doesn't understand love or a bad child.

In the end, he was given such an ending, instead of letting others heal him, he let him heal himself.No one can cure him like this, and no one can bear it. No matter how much love he has, it will be consumed, so he can only save himself.

As for the future, whether he can learn how to love and be loved depends on himself.

Thank you for watching Fu Junzhuo's episode.

The words in the article are actually what I want to say to everyone, no matter where you are, no matter how you live now, you must believe in the future and persevere.

I love you guys (see how I have a big heart? hmm~o(*￣▽￣*)o).