[Gintama] Mr. Songyang that day

—had a nightmare.

The 13-year-old purple-haired boy woke up sweating profusely from his sleep.The throbbing that remained in his heart still made his chest ache.

In the dream, there was a dark red light of blood, black crow feathers flying all over the sky, a figure looking back in the endless eternal night, pupils filled with dazzling scarlet.He looked up and saw the icy rain falling from the sky, and he was holding the jade-like blade tightly in his hand.

The picture flashed in front of his eyes fragmentarily, and then quickly disappeared into wisps of cloud and mist.

The boy Gao Shan frowned and recalled for a long time, but he couldn't remember what kind of dream it was, and only the heavy sadness that lingered in his mind.

— must be a sad nightmare.

——It is an endless nightmare of sinking in the mud and falling into the bottomless darkness.

The figure in the dream will one day step on the mountain of corpses and the sea of ​​blood and walk past him far away, casually crushing the pure white epiphyllum he is attached to, and the shattered petals will fall lightly from the river of forgetfulness. sink to the bottom.In the dead night sky, the bright moonlight that shrouded him was lightly shattered to the ground.

But he could only kneel helplessly in the scorched blackness, and use his skinny hands to salvage the empty moon shadow in vain.

——It was a nightmare that I struggled to wake up from.

——What kind of method should be used in exchange for a dream that will not be eroded by pain?

The hustle and bustle fell silent, and Takasugi suddenly opened his eyes.

The Alutana crystal fragments on the verge of extinction are still persistently trying to burn out sparks, flying uninterruptedly on this gradually dying planet, and being attracted by the withering light in front of them, slowly from the He dropped at his feet, sinking into the lightless cavern floor.

The bitter wind swirled in the mountains, and the rolled up gravel brushed against the side of his face, and the sound of falling into the stone surface was as light as drizzle, and the rain in his chest also pattered into a puddle.

The sweet dream sank into the water like ripples, and the tentacles of the nightmare penetrated in at some point, strand by strand, like winding vines, tightly climbing to the white epiphyllum that bloomed again.

——What should I do to make this flower never wither in the moonlight?

The familiar footsteps stepped over the rugged rocks step by step, and the crisp and clear sound stopped behind him.

If there is a sigh that seems to be blown into his ears, the breath swirls leisurely to tease his tender heart, and turns into a lingering call on his lips.

"teacher."

The mountain wind rustled his dark purple hair, and golden butterflies dangled on his purple robes, like a halo that was flickering around him.

The picture reflected in Songyang's eyes is hazy in the halo, it is the back view of an adult with a little loneliness and determination.

"What is Jinsuke doing on this planet?"

"Teacher, why don't you guess?"

Takasugi, who turned his back to her, gave a low laugh.There wasn't much emotion in his voice, as if he was just staring at the front calmly from beginning to end.

"Well... To be honest, I'm not too sure."

Songyang took two steps forward, stood beside him, and looked together with him at the cave in front of him where the stars were falling and blasting sand.

As the distance from the cave drew closer, the dense mist formed by the energy of the alien star Alutana that permeated the surroundings flowed towards Songyang with the air, causing her to shrink her shoulders slightly uncomfortably.

The trumpet in his arms seemed to be affected, he narrowed his scarlet eyes slightly, and shrank his body slightly into the crook of Songyang's arms.

Song Yang was startled, patted her on the head softly, used his sleeve to slightly block the wind blowing from her, and then asked softly.

"At that time, did the Alien Arutana crystal embedded in my heart come from this planet?"

"Yes, teacher, is there anything else you want to ask?"

"Hmm... is there any important thing that must be done here and when I am present?"

"The teacher is pretty close to the correct answer."

"Yes……"

Song Yang let out a long breath and asked in a low voice.

"Has Jinsuke found a way to make me an ordinary person?"

"The teacher really can guess."

Takasugi turned his head and looked over.

His eyes resting on Songyang's smiling eyes are soft and nostalgic, even if there are some imperceptible fanaticism mixed in, he sinks into them carefully.

"I finally found a way to free the teacher from the cycle of fate, so—"

His gaze glides over the child in Songyang's embrace with only half of his face exposed, the tenderness has been weathered away, leaving only a cold chill.

"Teacher, please give this guy to me."

——How much strength and tempering the blade should be used to smash the nightmare that follows you everywhere?

"Dragon-veined creatures will only truly come to an end when the planet is destroyed."

At a certain meeting between the ghost soldiers and the Seventh Division, the space hunter Xinghai Fangzhu came to this conclusion firmly.

"The two people who were originally the same body have been separated into different bodies. Therefore, no matter whether the consciousness dies or not, the only body carrying the energy of the dragon vein will always be resurrected from the dragon's lair at some point."

The calmness in the purple-haired man's expression suddenly collapsed into a piercing murderous intent, and the strong mood swings made the eyes of the Yetu strongman with warlike blood in his bones cool down, and he warned him pointedly.

"No matter what you want to do, it is impossible to destroy the body incarnated by the dragon veins of the earth. If you want your teacher to completely escape the influence of the dragon veins, another incarnation of the dragon veins must coexist with her in the world."

——Which step should I go to correct the upside-down world in my heart before repeating the same mistakes?

On the screen, the old classmates of the past showed a rare expression of seriousness, pointing out the inescapable possibility to the point.

"If it's a teacher, maybe he will bring back the new Xu from the dragon's veins. For the teacher, it is also a part of her. We can't deny this. Besides, the new Xu may not follow the old path. If the teacher chooses this way , we'd better support her."

So what?

Takasugi turned off the communication expressionlessly, thinking indifferently.

Why did he want to watch them bet on a tiny possibility like he did ten years ago?

There is only one unique teacher in this world, and the nightmare has haunted her for a thousand years, and even snatched her away at one point. Now, do you still have to wait helplessly for her to be submerged by that pitch-black crow feather one day?

——What should I do to truly protect and save who?

At that time, he watched the person with crooked brows and eyes slightly expectantly showing relief, and obediently listened to her express her determination that it was okay to be alone, and he quietly let the unstoppable The coldness filled his heart that was burning with love.

Yes, of course the teacher will make such a choice.

For them in the past, then for the man who betrayed her, and now for the awareness of self-salvation, she is willing to fall into nightmares that cannot be ended again and again.

— Just once is fine.

"Teacher, please give Xu to me."

Takasugi repeated it unhurriedly and clearly.

The tone of voice is always gentle and humble, it seems that there is no strong element, but his language is full of unquestionable determination.

"I don't have to bear this kind of shadow that shouldn't be carried by the teacher anymore, and I don't have to face the nightmare that I don't know when it will come again."

He has failed too many times and made too many wrong choices, but his teacher has never blamed him, and has tolerated him without complaint and regret, accepting all the crimes he committed as before, And gave him a home to go back to.

Even if he failed to save her once from the beginning to the end.

So just once, teacher, I just need to make the right choice once.

——As long as I can save you once, my life has the meaning of being redeemed.

"Give this guy to me, and the teacher's nightmare will be completely over."

Song Yang quietly watched her purple-haired disciple who had grown into an adult.

What flashed before my eyes was that year in the courtyard under the sunset, the childish purple-haired boy waited for the blood red in her eyes to fade, then ran towards her without hesitation, accepting her with complete trust.

When they reunited for the first time after a painful ten-year separation, she was genuinely relieved that the brutal pain hadn't destroyed Jinsuke's steadfastness.

It wasn't until those past years flooded back into her mind and made up for the missing ten years that she realized little by little what kind of void eroded by pain was left in the heart of this stubborn disciple by those irreversible losses.

After going through the ten years of ups and downs, and experiencing loss and recovery, the truth of the past has been fully revealed, and I understand the hopelessness and erroneous results brought about by sacrifice.

The void that was difficult to fill made him turn this attachment into a self-torturing obsession, the road was twisted into an inextricable knot, and he couldn't get an answer after repeated questions.

Before she made up her mind to find Xu, she actually thought about it for a long time, and she still didn't know how to help Jinzhu get over this hurdle, even if she took him back to his past home and told him that everything was not meaningless, it was just Temporarily suturing the bloody wound, once faced with the possibility of tearing the wound open, the problems in front of him are the same as before.

——In any case, I don’t want to reconcile with myself.

Looking at Jinsuke like this, she thought of herself who was immersed in despair and killed by Xu.

As masters and apprentices, the two of them may be surprisingly similar in this regard, both of them are equally stubborn. She once hated herself who was lost in hatred and killing and vented her pain indiscriminately. The fact that nothing can be redeemed for revenge.

He believed that the one who saved her might be Gintoki who inherited her will, or Kotaro who never changed himself, or Oboro who first met her as a human being, and thought that he alone was not qualified to be her salvation.

At that time... as early as when he was at a loss to face the other her... why couldn't she embrace the confusion and anxiety that Jinsuke had hidden in the face of the unknown?

"Jinsuke has already prepared everything, right?"

"Yes, as long as the Xu is locked in a place where it cannot affect the teacher, the students can safely let the teacher accept the operation of stripping the dragon's veins."

"Is that so..."

Songyang sighed, then pursed his lips and fell into deep thought.

Takasugi waited for a while without saying a word. Seeing that Songyang's arm holding the light-colored short-haired child did not show any signs of letting go, he agreed that this was a signal of rejection, so he took the Alien Star Alutana hidden in his sleeve. Sliding it into the palm of his hand quietly, he quietly took a step closer to Songyang.

When he was about to press the controller, Songyang lowered his eyelids and sighed softly, and put down the child in his arms.

"Jinzhu, I have something to tell you."

Takasugi was slightly taken aback.His gaze involuntarily fell on the unobstructed immature face, and quickly moved away as if being scorched by those scarlet pupils.

He rubbed the finger on the trigger repeatedly, and the muscles in his palm remained in a state of pressing stiffly, he hesitated for a few seconds before speaking.

"What does the teacher want to say? Do you want to persuade me to let this guy go? Or do you want to tell me that this guy cannot be killed? It doesn't matter, I have made the best preparations."

The dead alien star will become the perfect cage to imprison the earth's dragon-veined creatures, and his teacher will spend a hundred years of peace and security as an ordinary human being, and there will be no shackles in the world that can restrain her body.

"The students have already made up their minds not to be forgiven by the teacher, so—"

The arm holding the injection was held by Songyang.

Perhaps it was disturbed by the energy of Alien Alutana, the person who grabbed his arm didn't use much force, but calmly and gently stopped him.

"Jin Zhu, I should have told you this story a long time ago."

Probably because he guessed what she was going to say, the man paused for a while, then said in a deep voice.

"I know what the teacher is going to say, and I also know the teacher's past."

"Well, Oboro told you guys, right? Want to hear my own story?"

Seeing that Gao Shan was silent, Songyang bent his lips, slowly let go of his arm, bent over and picked up the child squatting at her feet, and put the child's face against hers with a smile.

Gao Shan lowered her eyes to escape, and she didn't care. She put the child down and touched her head, signaling her to hide behind her to avoid getting hurt by sand and stones, and then continued to talk softly.

"A long time ago... Well, it should be 1000 years ago. There was no interstellar travel, and everyone didn't know what Arutana was. They were just ordinary human beings who lived on this planet and ended in life, old age, sickness and death. , so no one has ever seen an existence that can be resurrected from the dead, even if the other party is just a child like this, he will still be regarded as some terrible monster... very distressed, right?"

Am I doing something wrong?

The child whose hands were not stained with blood asked himself over and over again.

It clearly looks like a human child. There are no scary vertical pupils in the eye sockets, no ugly scars or weird colors on the cheeks, no sharp thorns on the fingertips, no beast-like teeth in the mouth, no skin on the hands, feet and body. They are all soft, and the blood spattered from the chest stabbed by the knife is also bright red, and they can clearly feel the pain after being injured.

——Why does no one come to love me?

"Although it's a bit embarrassing to say it, at that time, that child really thought so sincerely. It would be great if... he had never appeared in this world. If he was born as a monster different from human beings, then he would be feared and rejected by human beings." , It is also a matter of course, so no matter what kind of treatment I suffer, I have been enduring it... But, it hurts too much."

The man with his head slightly lowered in front of her trembled, his shoulders tightened to the point that he seemed about to explode.Songyang also knew that talking about these cruel memories would be a torment for both of them, she pursed her lips and said with difficulty.

"What is the limit of human beings' pain perception? That child doesn't know this. No matter how hard he endures the physical pain, the day will never end. He can't achieve death even if he wants to. What should he do? Who can give that child the answer. What should I do to get rid of this pain? That child spent hundreds of years wandering aimlessly in the mountains of corpses and seas of blood, but he couldn't find the answer."

——Too painful, and too lonely.

Confused selves were born in the body one after another, wanting to share this endless pain together, such a void consciousness has gradually lost the meaning of existence over the long years, and no longer pray for relief from this pain , but the heart that once longed for human beings still shone slightly in the corner submerged in pain.

——What were the children in the village doing at that time?Why did the look on their faces warm the cold heart in the monster's chest?The corners of the mouth are raised, and the eyes are bent into arc-shaped crescents. Is this the expression that human beings will show when they feel happy?Is it possible to have human happiness by imitating a smile like this?

Try again, take another step forward, reach out beyond the pile of corpses overhead, grab something.

——One day, someone will hold this hand.

"At the end of the story, the child met a group of her disciples and finally found the answer. Although her eldest disciple was a stubborn and stupid child who was carelessly lost by her, she finally found it with great difficulty. .”

"The second disciple is a soft-hearted and awkward little brat. She irresponsibly entrusted him with various embarrassing things, but he still gritted his teeth and persisted, becoming a super reliable adult."

"The third disciple is a good boy who is more mature than her teacher. He always follows the path in his heart and moves forward without fear. He is shining and handsome."

"What about the fourth disciple..."

Song Yang smiled lightly.

Her purple-haired disciple quickly raised his head and glanced at her, with some embarrassment overflowing in his eyes, the corners of his tight lips twitched slightly, and the uneasiness between his brows and eyes made him look like a confused child .

——What should I do to make the right choice?

"That fourth disciple is a stubborn fool."

——Why didn't she find out that as long as she could watch him grow up and be by his side, that was the result she was most looking forward to?

"When I think about it, I want to find a way to save a person, but I don't know that for his teacher, he obviously doesn't need to do anything."

The man froze in place suddenly.

The eyes of the person in front of him staring at him were as warm and soft as ever.

Time leisurely moved forward with a smile like a spring breeze, from the barren desolation to the Japanese room exuding the smell of book ink and tea. Xiang Xiang was dumbfounded, and when she raised her head, she saw this man bathed in the bright sunlight coming in through the window, and gently bent the corners of his eyes towards him.

The boy's heart, which was worn down by the injustice of the world, was left with panic, confusion and struggle, and it was filled completely by that warm smile in this golden afternoon.

Time passed through the war-torn battlefield, the dark and cold prison, the gurgling river under the bright lights, the eternal night and the silent universe, and fell into that unchanging smile again.

——Because of meeting people, the whole world has vivid colors and light.

"As long as I can stay by Jinzhu's side, I have been completely saved."

The author has something to say: Gao Gao's attitude towards Xu must go through some twists and turns...

After all, this fact cannot be denied, there would be no Songyang without Xu, so...

Please be happy!

I feel that I am not good at writing emotional dramas in the main text, so... Fanwai can let go as much as he wants (it's terrible ooc)