[Gintama] Mr. Songyang that day

Songyang asked Gui, who was tired from crying, to go back to rest for a while, and she went back to her room to change her clothes. When she came out, she saw Yinshi guarding the door of her room, with the knife held obliquely in his clasped arms.

Yinshi looked up at her, and Songyang noticed that there were inconspicuous bruises on his face.

"Silver time, your face is..."

"Ayin is fine."

Yinshi just glanced sideways at the expression on her face, then turned around and left.

"Go and see that guy Takasugi, Ah Yin finally knocked him out, if he didn't wake up, he should still be in the dojo."

Even though Songyang didn't understand the reason, he followed Yinshi's words and went to the dojo.As soon as she entered the door, she saw two wooden knives thrown on the ground, and Gao Shan was sitting on the corner of the wall with her head lowered, her whole person was enveloped in a gloomy atmosphere.

Songyang walked over and knelt down in front of him.

"Jinsuke?"

A shadow was cast before him.Gao Shan raised his head, met his teacher's worried eyes, and avoided them unconsciously.

"I'm fine. The teacher must have worked very hard today. Please go to rest."

Seeing him like this, Songyang couldn't help sighing.

"Why did you fight? Did you quarrel with Gintoki?"

Gao Shan shook his head, but didn't answer her question, only his lips seemed to move, but he still didn't say a word.

Songyang didn't know how to comfort him, so he talked to him softly about other topics.

"As for me, I have already been to the hospital. Ms. Shan seems to be in good spirits. Let's go and see her every day. I plan to take a period of time off for the private school—oh yes, Miss Shan gave me the photo It's-"

But Gao Shan suddenly made a sound, interrupting her words.

"How much longer?"

"Eh?"

"I mean, it's Granny Shan's illness."

Takasugi didn't look at her.He stared at the shadow in front of him with an unusually calm tone.

"The teacher didn't say it, and I know it, it's serious, right?"

"It's a little serious."

Songyang recalled the paper-like pale face of Granny Shan lying on the hospital bed, her eyes dimmed slightly.

"Miss Shan's son... died in battle, which was a great blow to her. But it will get better, and I believe that Miss Shan's body will recover."

Even if the god of death must take this kind woman away, she can—

The fingers hanging on the instep trembled unconsciously.

It's just saving one more person, it's not a big deal, and you may not be found out about your abnormality, even if you can't avoid it, these children have grown enough to protect themselves, and Miss Shan will take care of them in the future——

"It will be fine."

She didn't know whether she was trying to comfort Takasugi, or just comforting herself, wanting to be more resolute in making choices.

Human life is too short.

Even if there were those pleasant memories, in the long river of thousands of years, these warm fragments will slowly sink into the boundless darkness, and can no longer illuminate her heart.

And she has already lost it once, so she doesn't want to do it a second time and can only watch helplessly but can't do anything about it.

"So, don't worry."

Song Yang said almost confidently.

"It will definitely get better."

——Grandma Shan hasn't been awake for long.

Dr. Hisaka's clinic is already considered the best hospital in Hagi City. Even so, he couldn't keep Granny Shan's consciousness clearly, and could only barely maintain her weaker and weaker breathing with the instrument of heaven and man.

They stayed temporarily at Granny Lvzi's hotel.Songyang stayed outside the ward most of the time, and Gaoshan and Gui followed suit. When Granny Shan woke up, Songyang led the two of them in to chat with her.

Yinshi hardly showed up, and every time Songyang wanted to ask him to go with him, he ran faster than anyone else, and Songyang couldn't do anything about him.

Yinshi has such a temper, she thought.

He is affectionate.

Even if he had seen many corpses on the battlefield and turned a blind eye to the death every day and night, it was different.

No one can turn a blind eye to those close to them who are about to die, not even her as a monster.

Songyang knew that he was just in too much pain.

Apart from escaping, he has no other way to relieve this inescapable pain.

Granny Shan is wearing a ventilator, and she usually doesn't talk much when chatting. More often, she will use her eyes to signal Songyang to drive out Gaoshan and Gui who are depressed, leaving Songyang alone in the ward.

She loses weight very quickly.Songyang can hardly remember her original appearance, the hands that would often pat her shoulders are now as dry as rotten branches, the blood vessels on the back of the hands are exposed, revealing a dark shadow.

Humans are such pale and fragile things.

Dr. Hisaka would occasionally come in to check on Grandma Shan, and record a series of data in the notebook that Songyang couldn't understand. When he came out, he shook his head heavily at Songyang.

"It won't be long, you have to be mentally prepared."

"Is there no hope at all?"

Takasugi stubbornly grabbed Dr. Hisaka's sleeve and asked him.

"Grandma Shan was fine that day, and made us sakura dumplings..."

"I'm really sorry, the patient's will to survive is not strong, and there is nothing we can do about it."

--"why?"

Songyang asked the emaciated woman lying on the hospital bed seriously.

"Why are you unwilling to survive?"

Human life is obviously so short, like fireworks, it disappears in the blink of an eye.

It was like every warm moment she had ever met.

"It's... difficult to understand. Your words."

It was very difficult for Granny Shan to speak, but she still had to take advantage of the limited time to speak out the words that had been hidden for a long time.

"I know. I've always known that you're special, you're not—"

"But, it's okay, you've always been a good boy, a good boy, so, it's okay, they are all, good boy, okay, you will be fine."

"unnecessary--"

The old man seemed to be returning to the light, and he grabbed her hand with astonishing strength, forcing her to stop cutting her wrist.

"I have nothing left to miss, just let me go with them."

The last sentence stayed in her ears clearly.

"She's dead."

Xu Xu's voice rang in his ears like a ghost.

"Humans are like this. You see, she doesn't need you to save her. Humans don't want to be infected with monsters."

No, it's not like that.

Songyang frowned, suppressing those dark and hazy emotions.

The woman in front of her closed her eyes.The hand that was holding her hung down, and the knife in her hand fell to the ground with a crisp sound, and the two children who were guarding outside rushed in immediately upon hearing the sound.

She actually remembered everything that happened afterwards in a trance, only vaguely heard Gui calling for doctors and nurses, and Gao Shan seemed to carefully pick up the knife and throw it away where she couldn't get it, and then helped her go out, letting her Sitting on a stool outside the ward.

She heard Gao Shan talking to Gui in a low voice, saying that she looked very depressed, and she was afraid that she would not think about hurting herself or something like that.Songyang thought, only this point, even she can't do it.

She can try to experience the sorrow, joy, and pain of human beings, but there is only death.

In any case, this is not the kind of redemption she can get.

And she just couldn't figure out why the human beings she cherished always went towards death, and thought that those who stayed would be happy.

Is it the same for Oboro?

she thinks.

At that time, it was also with such a mood that he did not hesitate to ignite the gun that was enough to smash him to pieces?

And now, has she found happiness again?Did Oboro really gain human happiness because of Oboro's sacrifice?

Can this also lead to happiness?

——People in the village who have been favored by Grandma Shan come to help Songyang handle the funeral.

Before she was alive, Grandma Shan was still thinking about Mei Tailang who could not return home, so they buried Grandma Shan on the cemetery facing the village entrance, so that she could look at the other side of the road and wait for the unknown time when she would return. The soul of Umetaro at home.

Yinshi was still nowhere to be seen, Songyang searched all day, went to all the places where he skipped class and slept but did not see him, so he had to give up.

Gao Shan and Gui leaned on her left and right, and she watched the coffin being buried in a daze, and was covered up by the soil dug up by the shovel until it completely sank into the loess.

The last thing to stand on the land is a gray tombstone.

"The Tomb of Sugitaki, Matsumoto Murura."

A few pale words are the birth, old age, sickness and death of this person's life.

Songyang put down the flower heels and fruits in front of the tomb, quietly took the spiritual tablet from the priest in the village, held the small spiritual tablet in his arms, and thought, the spiritual tablet is so light.

The death of human beings is such a light weight, without any sense of reality.

But why is her heart so heavy, as if a hand is holding her heart, making her feel almost death-like suffocation.

Songyang put the spirit tablet into the shrine behind the private school, and put it neatly together with the spirit tablet of Mrs. Shan and her husband.If there is a so-called heaven in this world, then kind souls will meet again there.

Must be, she thought.

——When she walked out of the shrine, several children who were in the dojo ran over in a panic and shouted anxiously when they saw her.

"Teacher! Takasugi and Brother Gintoki are fighting!"

"It's not the kind of sparring, the two of them didn't hold a knife at all, they just used fists like punks fighting!"

"It's so scary! As soon as Senior Brother Yinshi came in, Gao Shan rushed over and punched him blankly, Senior Brother Yinshi didn't even fight back!"

"Wait, isn't Senior Brother Yinshi being beaten unilaterally?"

The children were chattering and couldn't tell what was going on, Songyang anxiously followed them to see, and when they got to the dojo, they saw Gao Shan rushing over with his head down, brushing against them and running down the stairs without looking back .

"Jinsuke!"

Songyang couldn't call him, so he had to give a few instructions to the leader, Chongichiro, telling them to let Guixian go to give Yinshi medicine, and chase Gaoshan who ran away without seeing anyone.

Fortunately, she was always good at finding people, so she quickly found Takasugi who was lying quietly on the roof of the barn.

The roof near where he was lying collapsed, and there was no space, Song Yang climbed up, trying to find a place to sit beside him, Gao Sugi didn't speak, just looked at the sky without saying a word.

In the end, Songyang could only sit down next to him with his knees in his arms, and looked at the sky with him, watching the clouds in the sky gradually take on the color of the tragic sunset, the sky gradually darkened, and the moon slowly revealed half of his face on the other side, Starlight twinkled and opened his eyes from the night sky, bringing out a bit of bright light.

"teacher."

The 13-year-old boy's voice is no longer as immature as when he was a child, and it also has a somewhat deep taste.

"Can a person really let go of the emotion of losing an important relative?"

"I do not know either."

Songyang answered truthfully.

"I've seen people who didn't care that their loved ones were killed, but that's because they didn't care."

"Is there no other possibility?"

Takasugi's tone was a little confused.

"According to common sense, they spend more time together than me and care more than me, so I don't understand, can people really be indifferent to that."

Songyang understood what he meant, thought about it, and told him.

"Grandma Shan told me before that there was a silver-haired kid who always came to her ward in the middle of the night to water the flowerpot on her window sill. She couldn't tell who it was, but it should be a student from our private school— —Ah, yes, I saw a plate of red bean dumplings in front of the grave, which one of you put it there?"

"I don't understand any more."

Takasugi said.

"If you care, why do you still say such indifferent things. I asked that guy why he didn't go to the funeral. He said, what's the point of a funeral when everyone is dead."

"I was very angry, so I beat him, but he didn't respond at all. I used to be forced to hide my emotions and not be affected by others at will. It was the teacher who told me that people are free and can follow their own. Heart. That guy, the teacher thinks he is a samurai, but he never obeys his heart, I don’t understand, does the teacher really think that a guy like that is a samurai?”

"Not everyone reacts in the same way to pain."

Songyang explained to him softly.

"Jinsuke is the kind of person who is willing to face up to the pain of his loss, bear this sadness, and live seriously. Euntoki is a little different. He doesn't like to show his emotions so much. He He is a sensitive idiot, he cares but can’t say it out, because he takes it too seriously, and is afraid of being overwhelmed by the pain of loss, so he subconsciously chooses to escape, but in the end, he will definitely be able to face this loss, so let’s move forward. "

"Can you be a samurai if you escape from your own heart?"

"Well, how should I put it, it has nothing to do with being a samurai or not. Everyone faces pain in a different way, and I'm also the kind of person who can't do anything about pain."

"Ah, what the teacher said..."

Takasugi seemed to remember something, was silent for a moment, and said.

"The teacher scared me that day, I thought..."

"What are you thinking?"

Songyang felt it was funny and patted him on the head.

"I wouldn't do that kind of thing, I just accidentally dropped the fruit knife on the cabinet."

"Because it really looks like..."

Takasugi retorted softly.Songyang looked at him helplessly, flicked his forehead with his fingers, and sighed.

"I... I really have to admit that I am different from the two of you, and I can't do it either. Whether it is to face up to it or avoid it, the pain in my heart has not been reduced, and it is still so heavy. Both of you are worse than me. Brave, I may be the kind of person who will be crushed by pain, but for you, I will not be defeated by pain casually."

"Does the teacher suffer a lot?"

"Well, it seems that there are quite a lot, although I am also asking for trouble."

"Teacher's pain...what's there?"

The young man beside him asked cautiously.

"This, it's a secret."

His teacher smiled and winked at him, as always, hiding all the pain behind that moonlight-like smile.

If Songyang didn't say anything, Gao Shan obediently stopped asking.

It was still a bit chilly in the spring night, when Takasugi came out wearing little clothes, he couldn’t help but sneezed at this time, seeing this, Songyang also felt that when it was time to return, he asked Takasugi to stand up first, holding her hand and moving slowly .

The roof of the abandoned barn has been falling tiles, and this year there are few places where people can lie down. Takasugi also climbed up impulsively, and now he is a little terrified to see the hollows everywhere.

The two of them walked very slowly, walking down the most complete roof, Songyang held Gao Shan tightly, and was afraid that his feet would slip and fall, so his eyes kept following his feet.

"Slow down, try it with your toes first, and then step on it after making sure it is firm."

There should be no surprises, she thought.

——When the roof that Takasugi stepped on suddenly collapsed, Songyang actually reacted very quickly, and the strength in his hands never let up, so as soon as he felt something was wrong, he immediately pulled Takasugi back, but maybe it was because of too much movement, The roof under her feet also collapsed suddenly.

"teacher!"

The two fell down together.

The author has something to say: the biggest difference between these two children... hey.