love healing

Back home, Fang Zhou had already fallen asleep.An Feng didn't say anything, just changed his clothes and took a bath silently.

Hearing the sound of water, Fang Zhou's tears flowed out again.The sound of the water stopped, and a few minutes later An Feng entered the quilt with the scent of shower gel.

An Feng turned off the light, and the two of them lay down quietly without saying anything.

When was our relationship like this?This is not the desired result at all...

Half an hour later, Fang Zhou couldn't stand the silence anymore.

Taking a deep breath, he turned around and lay on his side to look at An Feng, "Don't you have anything to say to me?"

"You've seen it all, what else can I say." Actually, he had done nothing wrong, and An Feng's tone was calmer than expected.

Fang Zhou looked at An Feng's side face, the days had worn him down, and it seemed that he still had inconspicuous edges and corners, "Why didn't you tell me in the first place?"

An Feng also turned his head to the side, and looked into Fang Zhou's eyes by the moonlight, "Would you still let me do it after I told you?"

"You know I don't like it, so why did you do it?" Fang Zhou's tears flowed onto the pillow.

"Fang Zhou, I don't think it's a big deal. I studied national standard for eight years, and now it just comes in handy. If I don't have a diploma, no one will ask me for an interview. I have no other way to make money except dancing." This is Ann Feng's true psychological thoughts, he said while thinking, "What's more, this job earns a lot of money."

"Then you can't dance on a normal occasion?"

Before Fang Zhou finished his sentence, An Feng interrupted him, "Do you think homosexuality is abnormal?"

"I..." Fang Zhou knew that he had said something wrong.

"Then why are you following me? Heh." An Feng laughed at himself, sat up and leaned against the head of the bed.

He knew that the conversation between the two had begun to hurt each other, but this time he couldn't calm down, and he couldn't take the ark away from the war zone that was about to break out as usual.

"So it was me who insisted on following you, thank you for reminding me, I almost forgot." Fang Zhou turned sideways, turned his back to An Feng, and closed his eyes sadly.

"Isn't it? Huh, who is dragging me to Chongqing."

The words cut Fang Zhou's heart like a knife, and at the same time cut An Feng's own heart.

An Feng looked at the wall on his side, maybe he couldn't see the other person's face, it would be easier to say hurtful words.

Slowly lying down under the quilt, An Feng turned sideways to face the wall.

The two stood back to back, and neither of them spoke anymore.

After a stalemate for almost an hour, they all knew that the other party was not asleep.

Fang Zhou was not good at quarreling, and it was okay to quarrel with each other, but when something happened, even if he was trembling with anger, he could only wait for An Feng to admit his mistake and forgive him.

At first Fang Zhou was crying and sniffing his nose, but after thinking about it, Fang Zhou gradually calmed down.

This time, after such a long time, An Feng did not apologize to himself.Does that mean, maybe this time, I was wrong?

Fang Zhou is very simple and kind, thinking about this way of thinking, he gradually blamed himself for all the mistakes.

Fang Zhou felt that An Feng was right. If he hadn't been self-willed, An Feng would still be living a comfortable life in school, so he didn't have to force himself to be like this.

Let the person you love pay for your own impulse, when did you become so hateful, so difficult for others.

Fang Zhou wishes An Feng well, and hopes that he can live happily every day instead of being so burdened by himself.

I got hotheaded and ran away from home, but why did An Feng get in here for him?

An Feng loves himself, and he loves him too, so he can't drag him into the water so cruelly.

If An Feng continues to complete his studies, he will definitely get a good grade at the end of the semester.He is the favorite student of the head of the department, and his graduation evaluation will definitely not be bad.By June next year, An Feng should be able to graduate smoothly and find a good job.

Thinking about it, even though it hurts, Fang Zhou actually had the idea of ​​letting An Feng go...

On the other side of the bed, An Feng was also thinking about something.He thought about saying sorry to Fang Zhou for a minute.I was wrong first, I shouldn't hide it from him.

Although Fang Zhou followed me and he didn't believe me, it just showed that he cared about me.

It's better to say sorry, every time Fang Zhou can't help himself, he can only sulk, and then wait for himself to apologize, isn't it.

An Feng thought about how to coax Fang Zhou, and was about to speak, when Fang Zhou's small voice came from behind.

"An Feng, are you asleep?"

"Um...no..."

After a pause, Fang Zhou continued, "You... go back tomorrow."

──Tomorrow, go back─────

Time was stopped, and Ark said that he would go back tomorrow... let him go...

He wants to separate from him...

Fang Zhou's love for him will never be less than what he has given.But this time, she really made him sad.

How much thought work did Fang Zhou have to say to let him go?

Emotionally, Ark is very weak.An Feng knew very well how much Fang Zhou relied on him.Ark is the kind of flower that will wither without watering with love.No matter how you tease Fang Zhou, as long as he hugs him at the end and kisses him deeply, Fang Zhou will turn into a soft bird again, perched in his arms.

For more than three years, this is the first time Fang Zhou has told him that he wants to separate.

As if struck by lightning, An Feng's heart ached so badly that he couldn't breathe.

Without waiting for a second, An Feng turned around abruptly, hugged Fang Zhou tightly from behind, and buried his face in Fang Zhou's shoulder.The big hands hugged Fang Zhou's body tightly, as if his lover would disappear in a second if he didn't hug her tightly.

……

They have been together since freshman year, when they were assigned to the comprehensive dormitory together, and have never been separated.

The comprehensive dormitory is very large, with six people.Both Anfeng and Fangzhou are upper bunks, and they are the ones that are next to each other.

The favorable terrain made them quickly become good friends.Every night they would sleep head to head, talking in low voices until late.

The first time An Feng saw Fang Zhou, he was attracted by his clean and innocent eyes.

This cute little guy is very dissatisfied with being assigned to a comprehensive dormitory.

Thin and small, but with a face that has been greatly wronged.

Probably a spoiled child, An Feng has been observing him with a smile on his face.

From the moment he saw Fang Zhou, An Feng felt that it was great to be assigned to the comprehensive dormitory!

An Feng studied architectural design, while Fang Zhou studied advertising.They have all learned sketching, so they have a lot of common topics.

When school starts for one month, there is a total of seven days off for National Day and weekends.The other four people in the same dormitory all went home.An Feng didn't want to go home, he didn't want to waste money.

Ark is a local and is also preparing to go home.An Feng said that if he lived alone in the dormitory for seven days, he would be afraid, so he asked Fang Zhou to accompany him, and Fang Zhou agreed.

Fang Zhou has no ups and downs, his emotions are written on his face.An Feng asked him to accompany him, and Fang Zhou's secretly delighted expression gave An Feng some confidence.

Maybe Ark is just as weird as I am?An Feng hopes that what he thinks will come true.

One night, An Feng told a ghost story, and Fang Zhou wanted to hear it but was afraid. It was the first time they talked in the same bed.

The two of them were sideways, huddling together on the single bed and telling ghost stories. An Feng will never forget that night.

That night, An Feng deliberately wanted to scare Fang Zhou, and also wanted to test Fang Zhou, to see if Fang Zhou also had a good impression of him.

When he reached the climax of the story, Fang Zhou was already pinching the blanket with sweaty hands and half covering his head.

When Fang Zhou asked tremblingly, "And then?"

An Feng calmly looked above Fang Zhou's head and said, "Then...he will ride on your shoulders!"

"Ah—"

Unexpectedly, Fang Zhou screamed and fell into An Feng's arms.

Fang Zhou was frightened to death, huddled in the blanket and grabbed An Feng's clothes tightly.

An Feng plucked up his courage, hugged Fang Zhou back, and confessed his love silently.

"Fang Zhou, I like you!" An Feng said softly.

Fang Zhou froze, An Feng was extremely nervous, afraid that he didn't hear clearly, so he said it again, "Fang Zhou, I like you..."

After a few seconds, a small voice came from the quilt, "I like you too."

"Are you serious?" An Feng was overjoyed, and immediately pulled Fang Zhou out of the blanket, looked into his eyes, "I, I fell in love with you from the first time I saw you!"

"Me, me too..." Fang Zhou was very shy, he had never told anyone that he was gay.

The moonlight shone through the window onto Fang Zhou's face, and his big eyes shone like glass.

An Feng felt that he had won the first prize, and he was very excited. He hugged Fang Zhou tightly, and he was so excited that he didn't know what to say.

Since then, in the eyes of outsiders, they are good brothers who are like glue, but they know in their hearts that each other is the only existence of love in their hearts.

For three years, they never had a fight.An Feng can tolerate all of Fang Zhou's petty willfulness, and Fang Zhou regards An Feng as a big ship on the sea. In the ocean of love, this big ship is his only shelter.

……

Memories made people unable to calm down, An Feng's tears flowed down Fang Zhou's neck, his big body visibly trembled.

"No, I'm not leaving!" the hoarse male voice said with a choked voice.

An Feng's voice made Fang Zhou's eyes red again.

Holding the big hand hugging her chest, Fang Zhou groped lightly, "An Feng, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dragged you to Chongqing by force. I was too naive to do things without consideration. It turns out that life and love are two different things. , but I didn’t make a clear distinction. I’m sorry, I’m the one who got you in trouble, you’d better go back, you’ll be graduating in more than one semester, you’ve got your certificate and you can find a good job.”

"Stop talking." An Feng couldn't listen anymore, Fang Zhou apologized calmly, like a blunt knife, cutting the flesh of his heart back and forth.

"Then find someone who loves you..."

"Stop it!!" An Feng hugged Fang Zhou tightly, and it was already hard to tell whose body was shaking, and Fang Zhou was almost strangled by him.

Fang Zhou didn't say any more, tears were choked in his throat, and he couldn't make a sound.

"I love you, Fang Fang... I won't go anywhere without you. Really, don't tell me to go... Without you... I can't live at all..." An Feng begged in a low voice with a hoarse voice.

Why isn't it like this?Fang Zhou burst into tears, turned around, buried his head in An Feng's arms, and cried loudly.At this moment, he couldn't speak a complete sentence in a normal tone. Fang Zhou could only use crying to express his reluctance and dependence on An Feng.