Immediately after the death of the master

I don't really care about my mother, and she doesn't even bother to give me the slightest look. It turned out that my stepfather was good to me, but after having my own child, I instantly became a superfluous existence in the eyes of my stepfather. He will compete with his son for the hidden danger of inheritance.

But my stepfather is a scholar without much courage, so he can't be cruel. He didn't kill me, who was still weak, without a sound, and he didn't cut my diet. He only talked to my mother after hesitating for a year. They discussed sending me to the blacksmith as an apprentice. The purpose was obvious. I hoped that I would quickly establish myself after I learned a skill.

I am willing to believe that the original intentions of stepfather and mother may be good.

I am also very grateful. My stepfather taught me how to read and write, and my mother gave birth to me and raised me.

But because of this incident, I will never forgive them for all my life.

to me.

The days of working as a helper at the blacksmith have become the deepest nightmare of my life.

24,

There are many villages beside the city of Wuchao, one of them is Lijia Village, which is where I grew up. Our village couldn’t afford blacksmiths, so they had to send me to the blacksmiths in the city. Few blacksmiths are willing to accept outsiders, except for one strange blacksmith.

To be honest, this strange blacksmith doesn't have any strange hobbies, nor is he an extremely weird person.He just simply—

Don't treat me as a human being.

In the eyes of blacksmiths, I am not a human being, I have no personality, and I am not worthy of respect. I am no different from a cow or a horse.They eat so little that they can only fill their stomachs, and their residence is only a mat made of straw. They cannot use human utensils, and they cannot go to the store to communicate with customers.There is only uninterrupted heavy and tedious work every day. If there is a slight disobedience, there will be a period of severe beatings.

According to my understanding, the blacksmith bought two slaves before, and I didn't live in this kind of life for two years. Although I didn't sell myself, I am not a slave, but to be honest, I am no different from a slave.

Chopping wood, hungry, burning fire, tired, blacksmithing, pain...

Day after day, there is no end.

In the country, I can still dream about the future and liberate myself from the boring reality. In the city, I can't even dream, because I don't know if I will die in the next moment.

Just being alive has exhausted all my energy.

25,

Why didn't I run away in the first place?

It's very simple, in the extreme pain and fear, I no longer dare to have such thoughts.

Then why did I run away later?

It was an accident.

That day, I was so absorbed in the guard of honor by the big man that I lost the pocket the blacksmith had asked me to carry.

When I realized this fact, I squatted on the street full of people coming and going in summer, feeling cold all over.

For others, losing a worthless pocket is nothing more than scolding a few mothers, but for me, the meaning is absolutely different. No one will realize more clearly than me that if he loses something, What will the blacksmith do to me.

I knelt on the dirty ground, shivering, and dug my fingers into the pus-filled wound, but I didn’t feel the pain, because I knew that the pain would be a hundred times worse, and the blacksmith’s cane would leave new wounds on my body. The wound, the deeper and more terrible wound, I will pass out in pain, and then wake up, and continue the more demanding and heavy work amidst the scars all over my body...

I could already foresee it, and because of this, I was even more frightened.

I was paralyzed by fear, even though I knew the blacksmith would be back soon, and even if I knew that the blacksmith would punish me more if he didn't see me working when he came back, I still couldn't move.

I slumped on the ground, regretting why I went to join in the fun just now, I shouldn't...

But do I really regret it, I realized belatedly.

If he didn't join in the fun just now, he might not know what the life of a high-ranking official was like before he died, and he wouldn't know how far he was from that world.

Am I really sorry?Even though I am dying of fear, when I think back to what I saw just now, there is still a certain emotion called longing surging in my chest.

At that time, I vaguely felt that it was worth dying to see such a world.

Now I know what it's like to hear the truth in the morning, and die in the evening.

But if I can, I still want to die. I don't want to die in the hands of others without dignity after I just got a glimpse of that world.

The aristocratic convoy from the capital awakened my youthful blood and aroused the hostility accumulated in my cruel life. I didn't want to continue to suffer pain, and I didn't want to die like an animal in the blacksmith's house.

As described in the play, a man should stand upright in the world, fight on the battlefield, and make contributions.

So, I want to escape.

I want to escape, escape from this inhuman life, escape from this slave life, escape from this hopeless life.Even if I know that if I fail to escape and get caught by the blacksmith, I will die; Starve to death silently.

But if I stay with the blacksmith, even though I have a pitifully small amount of food, I can live for a while longer, but it’s just a mere surviving. I will soon die of exhaustion and disease in the blacksmith’s house like the two slaves who died before.

I don't want to die like this, I want one last fight, at least to die like a human being.

I got up and walked towards the city gate before I regretted it. It is not a time of war, and the interrogation at the city gate is not strict. Even though my clothes are shabby and I look suspicious, the passive guards still did not stop me.

It was easy for me to leave the city, but I knew that my escape had only just begun.There are farmlands and villages next to the city, but I can't stay here anymore, because these villages are similar to Li's Village, and they will never take in strangers with unknown origins. Moreover, if I stay in these villages, I may be caught by the blacksmith again at any time.

Of course, I can go back to Lijia Village, but when I think of the xenophobic atmosphere at home, think of A Niang's indifferent expression, and want him to be embarrassed at the moment, I don't want to go home at all.

So now there is only one road left, I looked at the winding official road that disappeared at the end of my sight, and resolutely embarked on an unknown journey——

I understand that I can only reach the next city before I starve to death, find a way to enter the city before I starve to death, and then find a subsistence job in the city. This is my only way to survive.

I have never been out so far, and I don't know what I will experience on the road, and I have no preparations, but young people always dare to bet, so I just walked on without hesitation.

It's all said, I am the darling of the heavens, how could I die there? Of course, I successfully left the territory of Wuchao and came to Fengcheng.

As for the process?

No food, worms in the soil, edible grass roots; no clothes, stolen from passing villages, chased and beaten by the owner for a long time, barely escaped; no bed, randomly found a piece of dry land, leaning against the trunk , Sleeping with clothes on; no herbs, festering wounds, foul-smelling, low-grade fever all the time.

These are not important, as long as the result is enough for me.

I survived, and that's the result.

26,

On the way out of Wuchao, what supported my survival was a city that I didn't know if I could reach it.

But in the days of the prison, I, a coward, can only escape to my past, so as to gain the courage to survive.

This is a day when there is no light, no one communicates, and there is an uninterrupted wailing in my ears.

After another daily criminal law, I still didn't say anything.The officials above were also very helpless, so they could only order the jailer to remove me and throw me back into the prison again.In fact, it's not that I can't walk by myself, but I really don't want to move. After all, I'm tired of enduring the pain, and I don't want to waste my energy anymore.

When lying in the straw pile of the prison with my rotten flesh, I sometimes comfort myself. Compared with the days at the blacksmith, the days now can be regarded as heaven, with food and drink, and no need to work Although these guys were a bit harsh in their execution, compared to the few inmates next door to me, they were really gentle to me.

I am the second-in-command of their hostile forces, and I know a lot of secret information, but they still dare not attack me recklessly, which is unreasonable.

The only possibility is that someone has taken care of it before, so that I can live more comfortably before I die.

Who is this person?

Being extremely bored, I started to do the elimination method.

Confucian businessman Xu Yuque?Ah, that's impossible. That guy is a businessman. Even if he has a lot of money, he is still a pariah in politics, and his hands can't reach the prison.

Former master Ji Qinghe?Well, still not possible.I did betray him, and it would be nice if the vengeful guy didn't pay to make the people in the dungeon treat me harder.Moreover, as far as his current status is concerned, he has no ability to influence such a major event.

Who else is there?

I racked my brains and finally remembered a guy I had been neglecting all this time——Ji Sanqing.

I didn't know this guy very well and spent very little time with him, but he made a deep impression on me.He is the most hopeless good man I have ever seen in this life. I think that if Prime Minister Ji Zuo hadn't been behind him to support him, this guy would have been eaten to nothing.

When I first met him, he knew I was