remaining debt

Yu Yan didn't know how he walked back to the barbecue restaurant that night.

He only remembered that he walked out of the campus like a walking dead, got on and got off the bus, people came and went on the street, and there were red lanterns for the Chinese New Year hanging outside the row upon row of shops, which was extremely lively.To him, it looked like a black and white silent film, and his life completely lost its color after what Nian Shao said.

"Son of a murderer, it is a sin to live."

"You are the son of a murderer, and you have been the son of a murderer all your life."

"The person your mother killed was my mother."

These words are like a pair of giant pliers, uprooting the longest and deepest secret hidden in Yu Yan's heart, leaving no room for it.

Yes, he is the son of a murderer.

Even if 15 years have passed, even if he is adopted by his uncle, even if they move their family to another city.

This also cannot erase the bloody case that caused a sensation in N City.

What's more, it can't change Xu Qinxiang's disgust and contempt for herself in the past 15 years.

I still remember that when he was seven years old, one day he was playful and ran away from home with his little friend, and they were all lost. They didn't bring him together until twelve o'clock in the evening when the little friend's parents came over with tears in their eyes. Sent home.

He thought his parents would be happy to see him, but they didn't.

Even when he got to the door of the house, he heard them arguing.

Xu Qinxiang's voice was like a high-spirited hen, high-pitched and sharp: "What are you looking for? Don't look for it! It's better to die. I don't want to raise a son for a murderer!"

"Xinmei made a mistake, but what does it have to do with Yanyan? He has been adopted by us, and we have the obligation to raise him!" Although Yu Xincheng is weak and incompetent, he still treats him very well.

"In the past, I agreed to you to adopt him because I couldn't give birth, but now I'm pregnant. With our family conditions, what do we need to raise two children?"

"Poor people have their own way of raising poor people. When I was a child, my family was so poor that we couldn't get rid of it. My parents brought me up with Xinmei. And if something happened to Yanyan, we would be irresponsible! How should I tell her?" Xinmei explain?"

"Tell me! If she had a sense of responsibility, she shouldn't have committed the crime in the first place! Throwing a one-year-old child aside to kill people, why don't you think about what will happen to your own child in the future? You still call me cruel? What woman can be like her How cruel is it to stab someone more than ten times like that?"

"..."

The children of the poor were early heads of the family. Although Yu Yan was only seven years old at the time, he had already matured much earlier than other children of the same age. In fact, Xu Qinxiang had always been cold to him before, and he often wondered why his mother was different from other people's mothers. And from that day on, he finally understood that everything was different only because he was not her own.

Moreover, his biological mother seems to be a murderer.

In order to prove this point, he frantically looked through the old newspapers at home. Although he was only in the second grade and he didn't know many words, he insisted on flipping through them with a dictionary. After spending three days, he found some information about what happened to him. Old news about the so-called homicide case that caused a sensation in N City when he was one year old.

"News from N City, June 1992, 6, in the early hours of yesterday morning, a appalling case of nanny murdering the master occurred in Xintingyuan Residential Area, Zhaoming District. After investigation, the suspect, Yu Xinmei, was 8 years old this year. Entered the home of Nian Shangwei, the chairman of Nianshi Group, as a live-in nanny. During her work, she appeared to be diligent and hardworking, but in fact she had a habit of petty theft. On the evening of August 26, Yu Xinmei stole again while doing sanitation, and was arrested Nian Shangwei's wife, the victim, Xie Li, ran into her and saw that the deeds had been exposed. Yu Xinmei and Xie Li had a fierce quarrel, which was forwarded to a fight. Li stabbed him for fifteen times, and stopped until Xie Li fell to the ground and convulsed. Although Xie Li called 8 for treatment in time, Xie Li still died of excessive blood loss..."

"On December 1992, 12, N City News 1 The murder case of Xintingyuan Community was heard in the N City Intermediate People's Court this morning, and the verdict was pronounced in court. According to the reporter who participated in the whole trial, because the defendant Yu Xinmei had The circumstances of the surrender, and the murder of passion①, so the court leniently dealt with it as appropriate, and sentenced him to 6.8 years in prison for the crime of intentional injury and death; he was sentenced to 15 months in prison for the crime of theft, and decided to execute 15 years in prison. Political rights for three years. The defendant, Yu Xinmei, did not apply for an appeal..."

Yu Xinmei, Yu Xincheng.

It sounds like the names of my siblings.

And the word "Xinmei" also appeared in Dad's mouth last night.

And Xu Qinxiang's phrase "more than a dozen knives".

Those words were like huge boulders slamming at him one by one, leaving him at a loss as to what to do.

No wonder Xu Qinxiang always scolded him when he was angry and wanted to throw him in prison.

No wonder there is a picture of a woman being taken away by the police since childhood.

No wonder I was psychologically frightened and trembling whenever I saw the police.

……

There are many more no wonders, all connected together, the answer is obvious.

He didn't go to Yu Xincheng to ask for confirmation, because it was unnecessary.

If they didn't take the initiative to mention this secret, he would pretend that he didn't know it.

It's just that at that moment, the sense of inferiority deeply took root in his heart, and then grew wildly, eroding his internal organs.

Over the years, he has studied hard and strived to be excellent, just to cover up this sad inferiority complex, and not want people to associate him with those unbearable past events.

Now, a person suddenly appeared to uproot his unspeakable secret, especially the extremely resentful look in the other party's eyes when he spoke, which made him shudder uncontrollably as soon as he thought about it.

After returning to the barbecue shop, he has been absent-minded. Although he has repeatedly persuaded himself to calm down and work hard, his body does not obey his control at all. Mistakes happen one after another throughout the night. Either the food is served on the wrong table or the bowl is broken. In the end, Que Xingchen really couldn’t see it , forced him to rest in the back room.

"I'm sorry, brother Chen, I'm not in a good state tonight..." In the room, Yu Yan apologized repeatedly.

"Well, I can see it." Que Xingchen didn't mean to blame him at all, but asked with concern, "What's wrong? Did you encounter any problems at school? Did someone bully you again? Is your leg really okay? "

In fact, Que Xingchen discovered his foot injury as soon as Yu Yan arrived in the store, and asked him why he just said that he accidentally sprained it and it was nothing serious.Que Xingchen also kept asking him to rest, but he still insisted on working.

Yu Yan nodded subconsciously, and Nian Shao's fierce face suddenly appeared in his mind, so he shook his head quickly, forced a smile and said, "No, I just accidentally fell asleep in class today and was criticized by the teacher. Because it is the first time in my life to be criticized, so I feel a little uncomfortable."

Seeing that Yu Yan didn't want to tell the truth, Que Xingchen didn't ask any more questions, but patted his head and smiled and teased: "So it's because of this, it seems that you are a perfectionist, be careful, you haven't been scolded by the teacher before." The student days are incomplete. When your brother and I were scolded every day when we were studying and we scolded each other with the teacher, we didn’t lose a piece of meat. After ten or eight years, who will remember what happened back then? So stop thinking about it, huh?”

"Well, thank you brother." Yu Yan's mood improved a little.

When Que Xingchen was about to go out and continue working, he couldn't help calling out again: "Brother!"

Que Xingchen who was opening the door suddenly stopped and turned around: "What's wrong?"

"I...if..."

Yu Yan wanted to ask him if he was the son of a murderer, would he still keep him.

But he hesitated for a long time and didn't dare to ask.

He has nothing left, and he can't even bury the last bit of warmth with his own hands.

So he lowered his head and gritted his teeth, and when he looked up again, he had a smiling face again: "It's nothing, it's just that today the Chinese teacher came up with a composition topic, and asked if you could travel back to five years ago, what is the one thing you want to do the most?"

"Kill someone."

"Ah?" Yu Yan opened his mouth wide in surprise, because Que Xingchen's answer didn't look like he was joking.

But in the next second, the other party laughed again, "Scared? I lied to you. No matter how hard I was, I would never become a murderer. Besides, this is just a false proposition."

"haha……"

Yu Yan also laughed along, but his heart fell to the bottom because of the sentence "No matter how much you mess around, you will never become a murderer".

You see, murderers are the target of public criticism.

The son of a murderer is no exception.

The author has something to say:

Notes: ①Passionate homicide is a type of passion crime in criminal law theory, corresponding to premeditated homicide, that is, there is no intentional homicide, but under the stimulation and provocation of the victim, he loses his mind, loses control and kills others.

Opening a hole is cool for a while, filling the hole is really emmmmm...

This subject matter is too heavy for me, and the writing is a bit depressing...