my roommate

The next day, I woke up in my own bed. If it wasn't for the fact that my whole body was about to fall apart, I would really have had a dream last night.

The roommate was quietly reading a book under the bed.

"Xie Ling, I'm CNM!" I was so angry that I wanted to get out of bed and fight him to the death, but I accidentally bumped my butt and grinned in pain.

"Have breakfast?" The roommate looked back at me with a playful smile on the corner of his mouth: "Oh no, it should be lunch."

"I eat NMB!" At that time, I really didn't want to say anything to him except swear words.

I swear at my roommate all day, and both of them cut class.

A lie can never be hidden.

The truth was revealed mercilessly.

Inexplicably, my relationship with my roommate has taken another qualitative leap.

It's all his fault.

I gritted my teeth and asked him, "You already knew?"

He replied calmly, "Yes."

"Since when?"

"It started when you peeked at me taking a shower."

I blushed: "I didn't peek at you taking a shower!"

"Ah."

"What the hell are you?!" I was hysterical.

"What do you think I am?"

"You are a fucking pervert!"

"Yeah." He admitted the truth generously: "Yes, I'm a pervert."

I was so angry that I wanted to strangle him to death.

"So why are you a crab?" I took a deep breath and didn't argue with him.

"Because..." the roommate laughed, "I'm a monster."

Until now, I have not received a clear answer from my roommate.

He is a monster, what kind of monster is he?Why is he a monster?

Whenever I try to ask him the truth, he shakes his head and says now is not the time.

I don't know how long it will take for him to tell me.

I think I have a heart attack.

I can't understand my current relationship with my roommate.

What emotions do I have for him?

And when did this emotion start?

Why after I had a relationship with him, not only did I not resist, but became more intimate?

My buddies said they couldn't stand me now, they were tired of being with roommates all day long, and refused to communicate with me.

Am I stuck with him?Not really, it's just because they lived in the same dormitory, and went to class for lunch along the way.

After hearing my story, what do you think?

what's wrong with me?I am at a loss.

end

Closing the notebook in front of the table, the doctor in a white coat crossed his fingers and replied with a smile: "Dear Mr. Jiang Yicheng, as far as I know, you should suffer from severe emotional cognitive impairment."

Under the incandescent light, the man at the other end of the table called Jiang Yicheng looked pale.Even though he was prepared in his heart, he still clasped his hands nervously, embarrassed.

The smell of disinfectant filled the air, making people even more nervous.Hearing the doctor's diagnosis was like a death notice, wrapped in an ordinary shell, handed to him full of sarcasm.

"Please calm down, I will help you, as long as you cooperate with the treatment, it will be fine."

Under the comfort of the doctor's words, Jiang Yicheng seemed to relax a little.

"Also, if I'm not wrong, you should still suffer from paranoia."

"Delusional disorder?"

"When the patient's cognitive abnormality reaches a certain level, it will rise to delusional disorder." The doctor explained the facts plainly: "The thing about the monster may just be your delusion."

"Impossible!" Jiang Yicheng stood up excitedly: "What I see is true!"

"Are you talking about Mr. Xie Ling? I have met Mr. Xie Ling. He is a normal person." The doctor shook his head and said firmly, "And he is very smart, he is a genius." He showed a slightly appreciative expression.

"Can you know him better than me?" The man sneered, and sneered at the doctor's words: "I don't know if Xie Lingcong is not smart? I can count how many moles he has on his body!"

The doctor shook his head with a smile, as if he had expected his reaction: "Mr. Jiang, did you feel irritable when I mentioned that I knew something about Mr. Xie?"

After thinking for a moment, Jiang Yicheng nodded hesitantly.

"You fell in love with Mr. Xie."

"..."

A brief silence.

Carefully observing the other person's expression, the doctor said, "You don't look too surprised."

"But he and I are both men..." Jiang Yicheng lowered his head: "Don't you find it strange?"

"Same-sex love is not accepted ethically, but it is the two of you who are in the middle of the game, and the eyes of others are not the key to hindering you. You will ask my opinion, but in fact, you care too much in your heart and cannot let it go."

"I...do I care..."

"To put it bluntly, you fell in love with him, you can't accept this, your heart chooses to escape from reality, your brain makes a wrong judgment, and you close this matter, your cognition of the whole emotion is obstructed, and you still can't understand the true heart .So you are not surprised when I pointed out the truth just now, because you already knew." After the diagnosis, the doctor turned to comfort: "As long as you let go of your inner prejudices, everything will resolve."

Jiang Yicheng didn't speak, his face was full of astonishment.

"As for paranoia." The doctor continued: "You should have fallen in love with Mr. Xie long before you found out that he was a 'monster'. The days you spend together day and night make you miserable. You want to end and find a suitable reason for yourself to approach Him, get close to him. Neuropathy, escalating into delusions, let all the development fall into place. When your cognitive impairment disappears, the delusions will end with them."

"Is everything... all... delusion...?" Jiang Yicheng sat down weakly, muttering to himself: "My roommate...Xie Ling...he..."

"It will take some time for you to accept the reality." The doctor wrote something on the prescription: "I will prescribe you some tranquilizers and sleeping pills, please be sure to take them according to the instructions. If you have any questions, please consult me ​​as soon as possible."

Jiang Yicheng felt deeply sad in exchange for a brief and perfunctory evaluation after a long talk.At any rate, it was his first attempt to communicate his true thoughts with a stranger. If Xie Ling hadn't seen Ni Duan and repeatedly asked him to come for treatment, he wouldn't have taken mental illness seriously.

At most, there is a little bit of depression, a little bit of concern, and a little bit of feeling that I am sick.

Only as big as the eye of a needle.

Seeing that the prescription in Jiang Yicheng's hand was about to be torn to pieces, Xie Ling walked over silently and took the crumpled paper from his hand.

"How?" He has been waiting for him at the door.

"It's not good." Jiang Yicheng's tone was not very good when his thoughts were interrupted, and he took back the prescription that Xie Ling was holding, and went to get the medicine on his own.After all, no matter how quack doctor is, he still has a formal business license. If he wants to be cured, he must first offer his wallet.

Xie Ling squinted at Jiang Yicheng's back, his eyes were very strange, as if he was looking at prey.Of course, he would never show this kind of look in front of Jiang Yicheng, it didn't fit his image in Jiang Yicheng's heart.

He didn't follow, pushed the door open and walked into the counseling room.

The doctor who had talked with Jiang Yicheng just now was sitting behind the table, when he saw Xie Ling coming in, he stood up and greeted him with a smile.

"Mr. Xie."

"Yes." Xie Ling nodded in return: "Doctor Xue, how is the situation?"

"I tried to guide his thinking, but he was stubborn, he didn't believe it."

Xie Ling remained calm.

Dr. Xue went on to say: "His emotional cognitive impairment is very serious, and I'm afraid he won't be able to recognize his feelings for you for a while."

"It's ok."

Seeing that Xie Ling was calm and seemed confident, Dr. Xue was a little surprised. He hesitated for a while and asked, "Why do you want Mr. Jiang to think that you have delusions? Telling him the truth will help the disease recover sooner... "

"Which part of the truth are you referring to?"

Dr. Xue was a little surprised: "You mean there are other truths?"

"What is the truth that you know, what is the truth that he knows, and what is the truth that I know." Xie Ling closed his eyes and said slowly: "The truth is everything you want to believe."

When he opened his eyes again, he showed an unusually weird smile.

"So you believe I'm a monster?"

END

Perception illusion: Distorted perception of things and emotions, perception of certain things in the world and their own emotions as another form of completely different nature, patients have no self-awareness, and think that everything should be normal.

The author has something to say: This article is also over, thank you for reading

The epilogue is the foreshadowing for the next series.

By the way, just kidding, no one should have seen in the early stage that the disease is actually due to suffering, haha ​​(x

Although the problem of attacking is also very big...