dark crossing

When I fell asleep, I was always restless, stuffy, and I couldn't breathe.Lu Xinghe, who hadn't slept well for a long time, turned over and turned the temperature to the lowest.

The room temperature gradually dropped, all light sources in the room were cut off, and even the bright spots on the humidification spray were firmly stuck with tape, and finally I could barely fall asleep.

But probably because the air conditioner was turned down too low, he suddenly felt very cold in the middle of the night, and his teeth were trembling from the cold. He unconsciously curled up and wrapped the quilt tightly, but his hands and feet were cold.

It was the beginning of August and the end of autumn outside, and it was so hot that the cicadas screamed, but it was snowing in the middle of winter, and it was as cold as falling into an ice cave, without any heat.Lu Xinghe woke up several times driven by the coolness, covered in cold sweat, with a helpless headache, and buzzing in his ears. He tried to open his eyes, but the eyelids seemed to be filled with lead water, and they were so heavy that it was difficult to move. With all his strength, his eyelashes trembled uncomfortably.

While half dreaming and half awake, I suddenly touched a warm place, like a traveler who was frozen in the snow and suddenly got a hot stove, and immediately felt like a treasure, and subconsciously leaned on that heat source.

The long drought meets the rain, and the dead tree meets spring, which is probably the case.

Both cold and hot rolled over his body, being ironed with the appropriate heat, his stiff body gradually softened, Lu Xinghe exhaled a long breath because of his comfort.

"Xinghe" sighed, coming from a dream.

He trembled all over, cold sweat and tears piled up in the corners of his eyes, and was gently kissed away.

It was probably really a dream, even if he was deceived and controlled by his lover, he didn't feel afraid at all, only felt wronged.

"Actually, you are very kind to me."

The hoarse sleep talker finally had a conscience.The corners of his eyes were red, and tears welled up slowly: "But I'm afraid that I'm not a fool, and I'm not always so easy to be fooled. But you acted so well, I can't tell which of your words is true, Which sentence is false."

He is not a collection that can be collected and shelved, but a living person.It's nice to be cherished, but a lover who tries to control everything and do anything against his will is just too scary.

The outside world always said that Lu Xinghe lived in a wealthy family and never lacked love.But few people know that his biological father died unexpectedly when he was a baby.

After his mother reorganized the family, his stepfather was very indifferent to him.His parents were busy with work, so they entrusted him with full authority to the nanny, and rarely had time to take care of him personally.

Thinking about it carefully, it's actually not difficult to find that Lu Xinghe's parents are extremely neglecting him.If a pair of parents really paid enough attention to their child, they wouldn't notice the abnormality until he was kidnapped by a nanny and disappeared for several days.

Growing up in such an environment, Lu Xinghe's desire for love is actually far beyond ordinary people.

After meeting Lin Youband, he once felt that it was heaven's compensation.They are in harmony in every way, both mentally and physically.

In the past, an artist with whom he had a good relationship turned down several dramas because of a relationship. Lu Xinghe also kindly reminded the other party not to be "in love".

"There are too few people in this world who are perfectly compatible. If you meet them at the right time, the odds are like winning the lottery! If you meet someone who matches you well in every way, the chances of this person being a liar are as high as 99999%" So, you'd better be careful, lest you end up with nothing but money and being cheated out of money and sex."

But since ancient times, it has been clear to bystanders that at that time, he was still standing and talking without back pain.

Lin Youban probably didn't care about the little money he got from defrauding him. As for sex, with the face of the other party, no matter how you look at it, he wouldn't be at a disadvantage.

But at the moment when he proposed to break up, Lin Youbi's eyes were as dark as night, and he couldn't help but suspect that this always gentle man didn't want money or sex, he wanted Yes, it is his life.

The photos of him from childhood to adulthood in the computer come from a secret angle that even he himself does not know.In the darkness, he seemed to be firmly grasped by the throat by an invisible hand. As he was struggling, he remembered the way Lu Qiuming cried and apologized and begged for mercy in the video.

Is this love?He was about to throw up.

In other words, if he is Lin Youbandit and someone breaks up in person, he may not really be willing to get together and break up.But at least he won't treat the other party as an object, a gadget that needs to be tracked, has nothing to say, and is not respected.

When you like it, you will naturally treat it like a treasure, but if you don't like it, you will inevitably discard it like a shoe.

He also sang Chinese-style songs following the trend, and the line "Flowers have no hundred-day red" in the lyrics is very appropriate.But he likes Lin Youband, more than he imagined. He likes it so much that when he said breaking up, the words squeezed from his throat to the tip of his tongue, and just a few words ripped out a tearing pain all the way.

Perhaps, he had also been secretly hoping that Lin Youband would not agree.

He was afraid that Lin Youban would lie to him, and that one day Lin Youband would turn his face like a book, but he couldn't help secretly hoping that if this person could lie to him all the time, that would be great.

But what if you can't lie for a lifetime?

Good dreams are always the easiest to wake up from.It's not like Lu Xinghe didn't think about it, the big deal is that he woke up from the dream, and he gave his life to him.

But so what?What if the other party no longer wants it?

That's ugly. It's better to stay awake at all times to avoid getting stuck in the mud, making yourself cheap, and making your life worthless.

Lu Xinghe's Adam's apple trembled and whimpered, and he couldn't help curling up again, the heavy burden was invisible and he couldn't breathe.The quilt was wrapped around his body indiscriminately, with most of his shoulders exposed, but it wasn't too cold—the warm stove was stubbornly sticking to him, and the heat flowed continuously. He didn't feel cold, but just wanted to cry. ——It's really bad luck, falling in love with that kind of bastard who is inconsistent and can change his face at any time.

But thinking about it this way, it's even more contradictory.Immediately reflect on whether you have wronged the other party with guilt.Lin Youban did hide a lot, but he didn't change his face at any time. He was very good, so good that at one time it made people feel that he had silently shouldered all the grievances of the whole world.

How to do it?Neither love nor hate.

Lovers are too complicated, and life is really hard.

In the entanglement, I finally fell asleep, not a good one, but at least I fell asleep.

Lu Xinghe thought he was so worthless that he cried all night, but when he woke up his pillow was dry, and when he looked in the mirror, only the corners of his eyes and lips were slightly swollen.

He couldn't remember why the corners of his lips were swollen, and he looked around, except for the empty chair in front of the bed, and a half-opened blue double-petalled carnation in a glass bottle in front of the window.

Nothing else.

He guessed that he might be crazy, otherwise, how could he not remember at all that he had bought such flowers?

However, it doesn't matter if you are crazy, you don't need to think too much when you are crazy, you can simply love and hate, even if you get hurt in the end, it is easier than weighing repeatedly in hesitation, frustration and anxiety.

It was not yet full light, and the electronic clock on the bedside table flickered, and the number jumped to four o'clock.

In this early morning when the street lights were not even extinguished, Lu Xinghe suddenly wanted to go for a stroll.

The location of the community is good. Although the popularity and supporting facilities cannot be compared with Tangcheng Binjiang, but fortunately, the greening is very good, and it also diverts people and vehicles.

Lu Xinghe didn't drive, but walked out of the community.Because I woke up too early, I didn't even see half a person along the way.

There is a smell of green grass from the earth in the wind in the morning, and the fresh smell makes the heavy heart float slightly.

He walked out of the boulevard in the community under the half-bright moonlight and street lamps.He was walking on the sidewalk in the southwest, and outside the exit was a mess of shantytowns, which had been planned for demolition. The doors and windows of the low houses on the side of the road were covered with cement, and a bright red circled the black word "demolition". Circles, gray walls, black characters, and red circles, this combination actually reveals a strange ominousness.

Lu Xinghe lowered his head and walked out along the sidewalk. He was like a shadow caught between reality and dreams. On one side was the magnificent exterior wall of the community. On the other side is a dilapidated shanty town, with a row of fragmented construction waste piled up against the wall under the gray concrete wall.

Lu Xinghe looked up anxiously, the road ahead was pitch black, except for a breakfast restaurant not far away that was still open until the end, stubbornly emitting a dim light.

He began to feel cold again, and couldn't help shivering. The deep chill spread from his back all the way to the back of his neck. Lu Xinghe stretched out his hand to rub it, and when his fingertips touched the slightly raised scar on his cervical spine, he immediately realized that he might It was really just a small object that someone loves, suddenly his throat choked up, and an imaginary cold dagger that never existed in reality quietly pressed against his throat.

He stood stiffly on the spot, and there was a sharp whistling wind blowing past his ear, which made his eardrum hurt.

too tired.

A voice sighed.Lu Xinghe didn't move at all, his dark eyes stared blankly at the light of the breakfast shop, his eyes were covered with a mist of black and white, like the heroic silhouette of a moth fluttering to flame.He thought of Lin Youband, and thought that he rolled up his sleeves and fried fried dough sticks himself because he wanted to eat fried dough sticks in the middle of the night.

"Just order takeaway! There is a breakfast shop opposite the neighborhood! It's open 24 hours a day!"

"It's not healthy outside."

"I just love unhealthy food!"

"Don't make trouble. Give me half an hour, and I'll make you a love fritter."

Hot and humid liquid gushed out of his eyes. He missed Lin Youbandi's loving fried dough sticks very much. He missed Lin Youbandi so much that he was willing to give his life to him, but he was worried that he didn't want it.

A director once left a golden sentence when he lectured the crew: "You must do things with the determination to die, because if a person is not afraid of death, there is nothing that he cannot do well. of."

Actually no, even if you risk your life, you can't love people well, because people are too complicated.

Even Liu Yuxi once lamented that long-term hatred is not as good as water, and it is easy to make waves on the ground.

He loves Lin Youband, because he treats him the best in the next world.He also hates Lin Youband, because he hides his secrets, is gentle but too domineering.

Everything this man gave him was good, but he never intended to let him choose, whether he wanted it or not.

He could list a thousand advantages of Lin Youband, but only one fatal shortcoming of "unknownness" was enough to make him worry about gains and losses.

Liking is the most fragile emotion. Facing Lin Youband's unreasonable liking, he felt deeply tired and powerless.This is an unequal love, as long as he thinks that he actually doesn't know anything about the person next to him, Lu Xinghe can immediately feel the creeps every second.