After saving Bai Yueguang's substitute

【Xu Zhinian's Diary-13】

June 2021, 4, rain

Mr. Jiang will never know.

When I was picked up by him in the fire, I seemed to be pulled up from the abyss.

I can't describe this feeling of salvation in words.

He made my world real and beautiful.

It also gave me hope of living.

He is my everything, myeverything.

I love him.

-----

1362

I walked over and patted Xu Zhinian on the back.

He raised his head and looked at me blankly through the mirror.

The palm of his hand penetrated the soft bathrobe, as if he could feel his body trembling slightly under the fabric.

"Are you okay?" I lowered my head and asked him worriedly.

Xu Zhinian shook his head.

He didn't speak, his teeth clenched his lower lip tightly, almost bleeding from the bite.

1363

After a while, he seemed to calm down, turned on the tap, and wanted to wash his face.

"Wait." I reached out to stop him, and turned the faucet in the other direction.

After waiting for a while, hot water came out.

I looked at him with a frown and said, "How can you wash your face with cold water in such a cold day?"

Xu Zhinian froze for a moment before saying, "I, I didn't pay attention."

1364

After washing his face, his mood stabilized a lot.

I took him to the sofa in the room and sat down, and poured him a cup of hot water.

He held the water glass and didn't drink it, but it was good to warm his hands.

I looked at him, but he didn't look at me, he lowered his head, and after a while, he said slowly, "Mr. Jiang, I...did I behave badly just now?"

"No." I shook my head.

1365

"I always thought that that incident was over for me, and I had already come out." Xu Zhinian said, "But I never thought that just hearing his voice would make me so scared."

The water in the glass was shaking slightly, as if Xu Zhinian was also shaking like this.

He murmured, "I'm really... really uncontrollably scared."

I walked over, squatted down in front of him, and said softly, "Don't be afraid, I'm here."

He looked up at me blankly.

1366

His eyes were full of tears, and after hearing my words, he finally couldn't help crying.

I put my hands on his knees, tears trickling down the backs of my hands.

The temperature is so hot that it hurts my heart.

"It's all over." I whispered, "I'm here, he doesn't dare to do anything to you."

1367

"Those three years were like a nightmare to me." Xu Zhinian's voice was very soft, with a little choking, "When I heard his voice, I seemed to return to that nightmare, Mr. Jiang, I forgot No."

I slowly wiped away the tears on his face with my generous hands, and said: "The nightmare has woken up, it won't trap you anymore."

Xu Zhinian murmured, "Are you awake?"

I firmly said: "Yes."

1368

My consolation probably played a little role.

Xu Zhinian put down the cup, then held my hand, as if he wanted to draw strength from me.

Xu Zhinian's eyes were very distracted, I didn't know what he was thinking, so I could only lean over and kiss him.

"Mr. Jiang." He called me, and then asked, "How did you save me that day?"

I replied briefly: "I saw the flames and found that the villa was on fire. When I got close, I heard someone calling for help, so I rushed in."

Xu Zhinian said: "Is that so...so I asked for help."

I was silent for a few seconds and said, "Well, but when I found you, you were already passed out."

1369

Xu Zhinian said: "At that time, my consciousness was very vague. I just remembered that my body was hugged. I wanted to open my eyes to see who it was, but I couldn't wake up. But the hug that hugged me was very warm."

Hearing this, I got up and hugged him slightly, letting his head rest on my shoulder.

Xu Zhinian let me hold it, and then whispered in my ear, "Actually, I set the fire."

I have a meal.

1370

what did he say?

1371

"In the third year of being locked in the room by him, I couldn't escape by all means. Instead, he made me watch more closely, and the scope of my activities became less and less." His voice was very floating, obviously It is speaking in my ear, but it seems to come from a distant place.

"At that time, all I had was despair," he said.

"I hate him very much, and I hate myself for being powerless. Sometimes, I wish I could kill him with a knife, and then kill myself." He said, "But I can't do such a simple thing. I have hurt him. After one time, he would not let me touch anything that could be a murder weapon. Later, my emotions became more and more broken, and sometimes I felt that I was crazy. He would also abuse me more frequently, except for the face, my body There were wounds almost everywhere."

"I'm really... so desperate." He said intermittently, tears fell again, "At that time, I would rather die than live this kind of life without freedom, dignity, and being trampled upon by others. !"

1372

I kissed away the tears on his face little by little, and said, "That's why you set the fire on fire and wanted to...suicide?"

Xu Zhinian nodded and said, "But at the beginning, I couldn't even find a chance to commit suicide. Later, Yan Zhizhe may also feel that it is meaningless to always face a lunatic like me, and I come to the villa less and less. Only then did I get a chance to breathe. But so what, I still couldn’t escape. Later, I heard that he had gone abroad, and his supervision on me was relaxed a lot, so I found an opportunity and set fire to him.”

"When the fire started, I laughed wildly for a long time, thinking that I could finally get rid of this hopeless life-for me at that time, death was a kind of relief."

1373

I whispered, "But you finally called for help."

He was silent for a long time before he said, "If you don't feel that life is hopeless, who would want to die?"

I called out his name: "Niannian."

His eyes fell on my face, and after a while, he said: "Mr. Jiang... Maybe you are right, but in my subconscious, I still want to live, so when death is approaching, I instinctively ask for help. "

I said, "Fortunately, you asked for help, so I was able to find you."

"Mr. Jiang." Xu Zhinian called me and said, "Perhaps the luckiest thing in my life is that I met you."

He said, "You are my salvation, my light and my hope."

1374

I have heard these words from Dr. Yao and me many times.

At that time, I was very resistant, because I didn't want to be anyone's salvation and dependence.

But now, I am extremely grateful that I saved him that day.

I saved him from darkness, from despair and from death.

1375

Xu Zhinian cried for a long time, and after venting his emotions, he fell into my arms tired and hungry.

I carried him to the bed, comforted him for a long time, and then called the waiter to bring over some food.

The waiter came very quickly, and when I wanted to open the door, Xu Zhinian grabbed me by the corner of my clothes.

He looked at me, his eyes were very red, full of attachment, as if he was afraid that I would just leave.

1376

I whispered, "Don't be afraid, I'm not leaving, I'm just going to open the door."

He looked at me for a while, and then slowly let go of his hand, but when I went to open the door, his eyes were fixed on me all the time.

I wheeled the dining car in and gave him something to eat.

He is very obedient, he will eat whatever I tell him to eat, and he is not picky about his food.

1377

After eating, I asked him, "Are you sleepy?"

He shook his head and said, "Not sleepy."

I asked again: "Are you really not sleepy?"

He was silent for a long time before he said, "I don't want to sleep, I'm afraid of having nightmares."

I sighed, but didn't know what to say.

1378

Xu Zhinian was a little nervous and asked me: "Mr. Jiang, am I...causing you trouble again?"

I said, "No."

He blinked and said, "But, obviously this time I came to soak in the hot spring, but Mr. Jiang can only stay with me in the room."

I glanced at him and said, "It's not your fault."

1379

"But..." Xu Zhinian wanted to say something else.

I interrupted him and asked, "Do you want to take a hot spring?"

"I think so." Xu Zhinian nodded, and after a while, shook his head again, "But I dare not go out, for fear of meeting Yan Zhizhe."

I said, "Are you afraid if I'm around?"

He was quiet for a few seconds, then said softly: "I don't want to be afraid, but I can't control it."

I rubbed his head and said, "It's okay, we won't go out, we'll just hang out here."

1380

The rooms in this hot spring club are independent buildings with large space and good confidentiality.

Each room has its own courtyard, and a small hot spring is designed inside.

The small hot spring is not big, but it is no problem to accommodate two people.

I carried him over, Xu Zhinian was a little shy, struggled a few times, and said, "I can walk by myself."

"Don't move." I whispered, "If you keep moving like this, we're going to fall together."

Xu Zhinian really hugged me obediently, not daring to move.

1381

I carried him to the side of the hot spring, and reached out to untie his bathrobe.

This time he had to come by himself no matter what, and I didn't insist. I watched him blushing and slowly take off his bathrobe.

The hot spring is really not big. After we two big men got into the water, our legs inevitably touched together.

It was Xu Zhinian's first time to soak in a hot spring, and he was quickly attracted to it, and he stopped thinking about those dirty things.

1382

"Mr. Jiang." He said excitedly, "The water is really hot, so warm."

I was amused by his childish words, and said, "Can the hot spring water still be cold?"

Xu Zhinian leaned back against the rock, showing a smile of enjoyment, and said, "Soaking in the hot spring is indeed very comfortable, as comfortable as being hugged by Mr. Jiang."

I:"……"

1383

I can't help but think.

Is there something wrong with this metaphor?

1384

Xu Zhinian soaked for a while, probably felt bored, and started to tease me again.

He rubbed his feet against me first, bringing our skins together.

I subconsciously glanced at him several times.

Sometimes I really wonder why he can always use such innocent and innocent eyes to make such a strong seductive gesture.

Doesn't he know how erotic it is?

1385

But Xu Zhinian obviously doesn't know, he just likes to be close to me.

I fuck-

Forget it.

1386

I couldn't help but sighed in my heart.

When he had had enough trouble, I reached out to him and said in a low voice, "Come here."

He didn't know why, but he rushed towards me obediently, and I hugged him hard and kissed him a few times.

With such a close distance, we can't hide any changes in our bodies from each other.

After a while, Xu Zhinian buried his head in my shoulder, his face slowly turned red.

I held his hand and let him experience this change more deeply and directly.

1387

The water in the hot spring is flowing, and the sound of gurgling water can be heard in the ear.

We soaked together for a long time, and the temperature of the water was a little high. When we finally came out, Xu Zhinian's whole body turned red and his body was limp.

He still hugged me and said coquettishly that he couldn't walk.

In the end, I still took the towel next to him and wiped him clean, and carried him back to the bed.

1388

After soaking in the hot spring, Xu Zhinian finally felt a little sleepy.

I hugged him and wrapped him in the soft bedding.

His breathing slowly became even.

Just when I thought he had fallen asleep, I suddenly heard his soft but firm voice.

He said: "Mr. Jiang, I will become stronger. One day, I will be able to stand upright in front of Yan Zhizhe and look at him without any fear or panic."

I kissed him and said, "Okay, I'll wait."

The author has something to say: MyEverything is the song that Xu Zhinian played the guitar and sang to Mr. Jiang at 100°C.

For Niannian, Mr. Jiang had hopes and beliefs at first, and then fell in love with him irresistibly.

It's so possible that he doesn't love Jiang Mingyi like this.

(How could Mr. Jiang not love such a cute Niannian!)

感谢在2019-12-1918:16:02~2019-12-2103:16:29期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who threw mines: Belle 26876949, Xingyue 1;

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：喵布林44瓶；灬亦辰20瓶；芬兰毛豆10瓶；破格、漂亮柔8瓶；DIOGENES_7瓶；bluelvo、灵福先生5瓶；之春时楠3瓶；fate2瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!