After saving Bai Yueguang's substitute

【Today's love temperature: 80℃】

677

Dr. Yao smiled and asked me, "What do you want to know?"

I was silent for a moment.

678

As Xu Zhinian's psychiatrist, Dr. Yao has always been in touch with Xu Zhinian.

In the beginning, I was the one who accompanied Xu Zhinian to see Dr. Yao, but after a while, I consciously or unconsciously started to distance myself from him.

After sending him to school, I stopped interfering with Dr. Yao's psychotherapy.

679

I thought for a moment and asked, "What's with his claustrophobia...?"

Dr. Yao seemed a little surprised that I would ask this, and he said "huh".

Then he said, "Didn't I tell you from the beginning, he's claustrophobic."

I asked, "What's the specifics? Is it serious?"

Dr. Yao said slowly: "His claustrophobia has complicated causes. The most outrageous reason is that I suspect that he was once locked in a narrow space, which directly stimulated him to have an excessive traumatic reaction. "

I nodded and said, "That's right."

Dr. Yao added: "But besides this, there are other reasons."

I asked: "What?"

"You know, man is a social creature. When he is out of the crowd and in a closed environment, he will be very anxious. The root of this anxiety is that he has no sense of security. He has no sense of the surrounding environment. His trust level is very low, and his sense of security is based on another person." Doctor Yao paused, and added, "This person is you."

I did not speak.

Dr. Yao went on to say: "The lack of security is the source of his fear - not only claustrophobia, but also his social phobia and anxiety are rooted in this."

I said, "So what?"

"So whether his condition is serious or not depends on you." Dr. Yao said calmly.

680

"You can try it," Dr. Yao said, "when you and him are in a very dark and narrow space, his symptoms will be very mild. But if he can't feel your presence..."

Doctor Yao didn't finish the second half of his sentence, but I could understand what he meant.

I paused, and briefly described what happened in the afternoon to Dr. Yao.

Dr. Yao asked: "You mean, he came to you by himself in the elevator?"

"Yes." I said, "I can't figure it out. There are obviously other better options. He also knows that he can't take the elevator alone."

Dr. Yao didn't speak for several seconds.

Then his voice became cold: "Jiang Mingyi."

He said: "The reason is very simple, because he wants to see you."

"He can't wait to see you."

681

I asked why.

Dr. Yao said, "Aren't you underestimating your influence on Xu Zhinian?"

I said, "I don't understand."

Dr. Yao sighed: "I said at the beginning that he is very dependent on you."

I said: "Yeah."

"I told you at that time that you have the right to choose." Dr. Yao said, "You can choose to save him or give him up."

He asked me, "What did you choose?"

I said, "I thought about giving up on him."

Dr. Yao said, "But you didn't do it."

I was silent.

682

Dr. Yao said: "If you didn't bring him home at the beginning, the sense of security he built on you might have been cut off."

"If he loses his sense of security, his mental state may completely collapse, and he had a tendency to self-destruct at that time, and the result is very likely..." He paused, and did not continue.

"But none of this has anything to do with you."

I grip the phone tightly.

683

"But you didn't do that. You brought him home and put him beside you." Dr. Yao said again, "During this period of time, you have deepened his dependence on you."

I couldn't help but defend myself by saying, "I didn't do anything."

Dr. Yao laughed: "You don't need to do anything."

He said: "For Xu Zhinian, as long as he can see you and hear your voice, he is satisfied."

My heart seemed to be blocked by something, which made me unable to breathe.

Dr. Yao said: "Jiang Mingyi, maybe you feel that you haven't done anything. But you can never ignore the people around you. Xu Zhinian will approach you involuntarily, but you can't help but push him away completely."

The only sound I could hear on the phone was my breathing.

"So his dependence on you has deepened bit by bit." Dr. Yao said without the slightest emotion, "He relies on you more, gets closer to you, likes you, and is obsessed with you. He can't do without you."

"And then you sent him to school."

684

I said, "I did it for his own good."

Dr. Yao did not refute, but said: "You are indeed doing it for his own good, but you have not considered his psychological condition."

"During that time, he had the most contact with me, and his mental state...was very bad."

I was a little confused: "Why is this happening?"

"Because he is addicted to you." Dr. Yao said, "It's like a drug addiction. He is too dependent on you, so when he leaves you for too long and can't get close to you, he will have a withdrawal reaction. .”

I said, "But he's at school, and he's acting normal."

Dr. Yao paused for a few seconds and said, "That's just the appearance."

Then he lowered his voice and chuckled: "Not being able to see you is an unbearable torture for him, but he doesn't dare to disturb you, so he can only call me to confide in the most painful time. "

"Tell what?" I asked.

"Heh." Dr. Yao didn't answer my question, but smiled inexplicably, "Jiang Mingyi, do you know how he spends every night at school?"

I said: "... I don't know."

"You sent him a voice." Dr. Yao said, "When he missed you and was afraid of disturbing you, he would lie on the bed and listen to that voice over and over again. Only by listening to your voice can he Sleep peacefully."

685

The voice I sent him?

I closed my eyes.

I remembered.

It's a sentence...

"Good night."

686

I said slowly, "I don't know any of this."

Dr. Yao said, "Of course, he doesn't dare to let you know. He loves you but is afraid of you."

I slowly recalled the scene with Xu Zhinian, and I have to admit...

Dr. Yao was right.

687

"So, even if he knows that he has claustrophobia, he is willing to take the elevator on the sixteenth floor to find you alone." Dr. Yao finally repeated, "Because he misses you, every cell in his body is screaming I want to see you."

688

I didn't speak for a while.

Dr. Yao waited for a long time, and when he saw that there was no movement from me, he yawned and said, "Okay, I've finished talking about Xu Zhinian's mental state. Is there anything else I want to ask? If not, I'll go to bed."

His voice returned to its usual gentleness and was no longer aggressive.

I was silent for a long time and said, "It's okay."

Then hung up the phone.

689

The night is deep.

I walked to Xu Zhinian's bedroom, the door was closed and there was no sound from inside.

I knocked on the door.

690

Xu Zhinian asked: "Who is it?"

I said, "It's me."

It was quiet for a few seconds.

A few seconds later, Xu Zhinian trotted over and opened the door for me.

691

"Is Mr. Jiang looking for something?" He looked at me confusedly, "Today doesn't seem to be the day to take medicine."

He seemed to have just gotten out of bed, wearing thin pajamas, and his hair was a little messy.

I lowered my head, and my eyes collided with his.

He blinked, didn't speak, but looked at me quietly.

I asked him, "Can I go in?"

692

Xu Zhinian was surprised for a moment, he hesitated for a while, then slightly turned his body and let me in.

The room was very dark, only the night lamp beside the bed exuded a faint blue light.

Xu Zhinian was afraid of the dark, so he had to turn on the night light to fall asleep.

I think he should have been lying down and going to sleep just now, but he hasn't fallen asleep yet.

He touched the wall for a while, turned on the light, then went to the bed and turned off the night light.

693

The room lights up.

The quilt was rolled out, a little messy, Xu Zhinian stood awkwardly by the bed, looking up at me.

I was in a trance for a moment.

Then I asked him, "Have you lost weight?"

Xu Zhinian opened his eyes slightly, and said, "Huh?"

"Are you having a bad time at school?" I said, "It feels like you've lost a lot of weight."

Xu Zhinian said: "No."

694

I looked at him quietly and didn't speak.

I looked at him a little uneasy, and it took him a long time before he whispered: "...I guess the school food is not very good."

I asked him back, "Really?"

Xu Zhinian didn't know how to answer me.

695

I sighed, found a chair to sit down, and waved to him: "Come here."

He walked up to me obediently.

I picked up a coat hanging on the back of the chair and put it on Xu Zhinian: "It's cold at night, you should wear more."

He froze and did not move obediently, allowing me to help him put on his coat: "Mr. Jiang..."

696

I asked him, "Is it much warmer?"

He nodded: "Yes."

I glanced over and saw his phone was on the pillow.

I said, "Give me the phone."

My tone of voice was so natural that he didn't notice anything unusual for a moment, and obediently took the phone over.

When he handed it to me, he suddenly seemed to remember something, his hand stopped in mid-air, and he paused.

I asked: "What's wrong?"

He shook his head hurriedly: "Nothing."

He held the phone and didn't put it away.

I asked him, "Is there anything in there that I can't see?"

He lowered his head and said, "No."

697

I took the phone.

The screen is on, and there is a voice on it.

I clicked it.

Then I heard my own voice.

"Good night."

698

Listening to my own recording, I feel quite subtle.

I think the voice is very different from what I said, but very similar.

I listened to it again, and I seemed to be able to imagine that Xu Zhinian put his phone to his ear every night when he tossed and turned and couldn't sleep.

His fingers slid across the screen over and over again, listening to my voice tirelessly.

699

The pitiful Xu Zhinian I imagined aroused my heartache and sympathy.

The real Xu Zhinian stood in front of me, helpless and vulnerable.

He lowered his head shyly, not daring to look at me, as if I had pierced the deepest secret in his heart and made him feel ashamed.

700

I asked him, "Want to hear me say good night to you?"

His ears turned red suddenly, and he hesitated for a long time, but he couldn't speak.

I said, "If you don't answer, does that mean you don't want to hear it?"

Xu Zhinian: "..."

I raised my eyebrows and said, "Then I deleted this voice?"

He suddenly got up at a loss, and reached out and grabbed my sleeve.

"do not."

I looked at him intently.

701

"I want to hear you say good night," he said slowly.

I asked, "When do you want to hear it?"

He answered honestly: "I want to hear it every day."

I stared at him and noticed that his ears were red from head to tail.

702

I returned the phone to him.

He breathed a sigh of relief and quickly put away his phone.

I asked him, "Does my voice sound good?"

He blushed and said, "It sounds good."

I pointed to my phone, then to myself, and said, "Then you prefer to listen to him, or listen to me tell you."

Xu Zhinian froze for a moment, then looked at me with wide eyes.

703

He seemed to be frightened by me just now, the corners of his eyes were still a little red, but now he looks at a loss.

He asked, "What?"

I repeated: "Do you want to hear him, or me?"

His expression froze for a long time.

Then he looked at his phone, then at me, and after a while, he whispered, "I want to hear from you."

When he spoke, he grabbed the phone cautiously, as if I would delete the recording in the next second.

704

I stood up and reached out to touch his face.

A little hot.

705

Late at night is always very quiet, I lowered my head, as if I could hear Xu Zhinian's breathing.

One after another, very hasty, with a little panic.

"Xu Zhinian." I said, "From now on, I will say goodnight to you every day, okay?"

706

It was a long time later that I heard his faint, almost inaudible voice.

He said, "Okay."

707

I laughed.

Xu Zhinian looked at me shyly.

I asked: "What's wrong?"

"It was like a dream," he said.

I said, "It's not a dream."

He complied.

I said again: "At school, you can call me, and at home, you can come to me."

"Every day is fine. If you forget, then I will call you and I will come to you."

Xu Zhinian hurriedly shook his head and said, "I will never forget."

"Well." I said, "Then you have to remember."

708

Before leaving, Xu Zhinian sent me to the door.

I turned around, grabbed his shoulders suddenly, leaned into his ear, and said, "Xu Zhinian, today I will give a demonstration."

He opened his eyes wide and held his breath.

I chuckled and said in a low voice.

"Good night, Niannian."

The author has something to say: there should be a kiss at 80°C!But I haven't written it yet!Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!

感谢在2019-11-2004:39:50~2019-11-2023:01:51期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who threw the landmines: Zhanbi, Xingyue, and Jiuer;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 10 bottles of the most beautiful Shutu and Jiang Detachment; 2 bottles of Jiuer; 1 bottle of Yingyingyingying and Ruanmenuo;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!

Text / Christine Eleven